Jaymie's fitness journal :)

Whoa, lol. Calm down, dont yell, lol. You're gonna be fine. Like I said before, some things just cant be avoided. HFCS is the #2 ingredient in diet soda, thats why you want to avoid it. But its also in Whole Wheat and FF yogurt, which are in turn not bad for you. Breathe Jaymie breathe.
 
:eek: ahahhehehheh... hmm...

well, yes I see now. So a bit in moderation is good, but don't overdo it . ahah. I see now.

THAT is what I always do! I either overdo things or I underdo them always always always!! Its wierd and annoying.

Well, so Diet soda=very very BAD
hmm....

so is the regular cheese actually better for you than the FF kind???

and is breakfast cereal BAD ?? Should I just have oatmeal instead? and should it be the instant kind or no?

hmmm......I need to do more research. *puts on sunglasses*:cool: haha there.

I am going undercover to see what else I can find out on these little devious chemicals the factories are sneaking into our food these days... they think they are SOOO slick . Well they got another thing commin' !! I am so not falling for this ANY-more! I am going to find out what the hell this crap is on these ingredient labels!!

I shall report my findings on this topic shortly. Give me a couple hours. :p
 
Well yesterday was a hoot! I felt great !

I took in about 1831 calories of mostly lean protein and had my simple carbs at the first of the day ( i mean like the fruit and cereal n whatnot )

and then I went to the gym and did:

3 sets of 12 of all:
------------------
40 lbs chest press
55 pounds deltoid machine
55 pounds bicep curl
50 pounds tricep machine

then 20 minutes cross-country stair stepper level 10!
then 4 miles on the elliptical level 9 (sweated my ass off)
then 35 minutes walking uphill level 7 on the treadmill at 4 mph

All in all FitDay says I actually burned 1440 calories yesterday aside from my basal rate at 1325 !

And I don't even feel tired today, everybody was all like, you're doing too much nyah nyah nag,nag,nag .....

They still think I'm all obsessed about losing weight which I'm not anymore, I just felt like doing all that stuff so I did it , is there something wrong with having alot of energy and actually doing something with it?

And I did lose one pound from what I had gotten to since I began recovery. I think this is the weight I will stay if I just keep doing good!!!

I like being 122. I don't want to lose any more weight just get in shape and quit smoking. Thats my goal.

And my knee did n't hurt at all, I wore the knee brace while exercising this time instead of just after. It is nonexistent today! yay! :)

Thanks again and again and again you guys all of you who helped me stick to my decision and gave me all the useful knowledge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Well today is Easter Sunday and i am currently at my grandparents house with the kids and my fiance.

i actually had to have all 4 wisdom teeth removed on thursday , hence, i have not been updating my diary.

so anyway, i haven't been able to eat like i am supposed to the last few days. and i have gone from 123 lbs since thursday to 119 as of today. i have been still working out. this morning i rode my bike about 13 miles in one hour mountain biking. i had some crock-pot potatoes and carrots and some baked beans. this morning i had oatmeal for breakfast. so i haven't had near the amount of cals and nutrients i should be. but they have me on pain killers and antibiotics that make me not so hungry.

i canNOT sit around the house and just "relax" all day. like they keep telling me to do. i can't do it , i will get depressed. so i been doing lots of crunches and pushups and cooking stuff i can't eat. LOL

my mouth hurts like hell and i got to return to work tomorrow...yay....

i'll be so friggin glad when this crap is over with. believe me i have had glimpses of myself in the mirror and thought i look just horrilbe. my face is swollen like a chipmunk and it takes me like 45 minutes to eat one smal thing since its s ohard to chew and my fiance came in the kitchen yesterday and made this comment...he said"are you STILL eating?" and i immediately dropped the spoon and wouldn't eat anything else yesterday ... i probably had about 400 calories yesterday....but those words rang in my head all day and still are today...i'm guessing i have had about 700 calories today and its 5:16 pm . so i am just kinda worried. :(

i just can't believe he said it that way. he said you said you feel bad when you get full so why do you keep eating then? the fact was, i had only had a few bites, it just takes so long to chew. then he felt bad and said he was sorry about 5 million times, and i felt bad, because he kept wanting me to eat yesterday but i wouldn't eat.

so now i feel wierd eating in front of him. I try to eat what i can before he wakes up and then when i hear him get up i stop eating and hide the dishes and then don't eat all day....i hate this.....but i can't do it because he stares at me when i eat now with this concerned look....

well i'm going to stop typing now.

today i ate:

bowl of oatmeal-----100
can of tuna---------140
cup of baked beans--200
boiled potatoes------200
cup of skim milk-------80
one ww roll-----------80
.3 cup of FF cottage cheese 20

exercises
mountain bike (high intensity without stopping one hour) 13 miles
180 crunches
40 pushups
playing with kids all day easter egg hunting

tonight i am going to do more crunches and more pushups and squats, leglifts, and maybe ride my bike 8 more or 10 more miles.

i feel horrible today :(
 
Jaymie,
Don't let that one little comment ruin all of your progress. You were doing so good. You can't marry someone that you're ashamed to eat in front of! Guys have a hard time with eating disorders...believe me...when I first started getting serious with my husband I told him about my bulimia. He was suspicious EVERY time I went to the bathroom. He never understood WHY I binged either. It's just a hard thing for anyone to understand if they haven't been through it. Please don't let that comment bother you that much.
 
Maybe he didnt mean it like that. Maybe he was saying it because you were taking so LONG to eat? Think of it that way, you said he wants you to be healthy, so maybe he was joking around trying to cheer you up. Dont get discouraged, and if you think he meant it negatively, talk to him about it. Make him listen and understand how you feel, otherwise its not worth your time. Good Luck
 
Well today I am at work, they rearranged my ENTIRE office while I wasn't here these past few days. So now its all crazy in there and I am just sitting in the assistannt sales manager's office playing on the internet till the boss gets here this morning.. hahaha!

So this morning I had like a cup and a half of grits .. those things are really friggin good.

my fiance did apologize like a million times yesterday and this morning, i feel bad that he feels bad... i told him it is okay and he promised he wouldn't say anything like that anymore. Especially because he knows it really affects me .. i told him it makes me feel really stupid that it does affect me so easily and that it may seem like it doesn't make any sense to anyone who has no idea, but to me , it just is a big deal and it hinders my ability to stay in the path of recovery.

i am slightly on medication this morning , so if what i am saying makes no friggin sense please excuse me today! LOL

i can't even feel my body let alone my FACE!

I am gonna go look busy now until the boss gets here.

last night i actually binged on fat free sugar free ice cream i ate like 2 cups of it. But it was SO good and i was so hungry...and thirsty...and we didn't have a ny water. so i figured it was okay to eat that just one night, but today i am not eating anything sweet.

i am joining the gym with my coworkers who go to the recreational center to work out during their lunch breaks . I am going to be going to the rec. with them every single day to workout, mostly cardio, probably about 4 or 5 miles a day and on tuesdays and t hursdays i will be working out twice a day, the cardio on the lunch break and after work all the weight training, and the stair stepper, and on the weekends i will be riding my bike about 10 to 13 miles and doing calisthenics every night.

this way i will be able to eat and not feel so bad about it . because i can be sure it isn't turning into fat.

i know yall probably think its too much. but when the little thingy that you type in how active you are says that i am only slightly active? i can do all of this and only be considered very active sincew my job is a desk job. I'll be okay! And I will post some pictures so you guys can see the six-pack i almost got!!! bye!
 
Okay its 11:00 now, i am really hungry so I am going to go get SOMETHING for lunch, don't know what, maybe just a slimfast shake...i have no money and don't know what to try and eat since it has to be ...mushy.....this sucks....

i have some plain oatmeal,,, i guess i could eat that instead of wasting gas money. i don't know... i'm really depressed today....everything on me feels boney again. I don't like this....i want everything to be back like it was before this wisdom tooth bull****... :(
 
okay rode the bike for 11 miles yesterday in about 95 degree temp. with the sun blaring on me the whole time. I like that kind of stuff its like battling the elements. I made sure to drink alot of water during and afterwards.

Today is Tuesday.

This morning I could finally eat with out pain!! :)

I had my usual Special K cereal---150
and WW melba toast w/FF cottage cheese---30
--------------------------------------------80

I plan to eat VERY well today :) Since I can chew now. Yesterday sucked...today is a brand new day.

Today I am not gonna work out during my lunch break I am going to chill out and walk around at the new 9.99 shoe store down the road.

And then after work its Leg Day! yay!

the norm.
3 sets of 15 of:

leg press 250 lbs.
calve raises 130 lbs.
abductor-adductor-120 lbs
quad machine-100 lbs
hamstring curls-75 lbs
squat rack-90 lbs

stairstepper-level 10 for 20 minutes
elliptical- level 9 for 20 minutes
treadmill walking uphill level 7 for 10 minutes 4 mph
level 5 @ 4mph for 5 minutes
level 3@ 4 mph for 5 minutes

Stretches and shower

Today's food menu:

breakfast Special K red berries w/ .5 cup skim milk
2 pieces of melba toast w/ .4 cup FF cottage cheese
coffee-2 cups with natural sugar
snack-yogurt cup
snack-sugar free jello pudding cup
lunch - smart ones cheese ravioli meal---230 calories
snack- yogurt cup--60 cals.
snack- Sugar free jello cup--10 cals
before workout meal---smart ones chicken florentine thingy
after workout @ home -ground turkey and home-made potato chunks boiled and then browned with extra virgin olive oil spray and salsa with spinach made from fresh in extra virgin olive oil and a cup of skim milk and 2 strawberries and 12 grapes for dessert with a splodge of FF whip cream.

and lots of water throughout the day. SO glad that i can eat again. that was totally depressing
 
THANKS JPC :)

Well yesterday was great, I ate good and I did all the arm exercises instead of legs b/c i figured i should since my arms started feeling a bit soft the last few days and i have been doing alot of bike riding with my legs so i did about an hour and a half cardio yesterday, a mixture of stair-stepper, elliptical, and RUNNING! mind you ! on the treadmill :) for about 15 minutes uphill at 7 mph. on the incline of 6 and then the last half was actually jogging at 6.5 mph @ incline of 4.

Last night I did end up having s ome more of that FF SF ince cream about a cup and a half with SF Nestle choc. syrup on top instead of the fruit b/c my kids wanted the strawberries and grapes and there wasn't a whole lot left. I also gave them some ice cream too with little teddy grahams on top

I like to spoil my kids :rolleyes:

But anyway,

today i had Fiber One cereal w/ about 3/4 cup of skim milk, it is very absorbent cereal lol , and i had an egg white from the dyed easter egg carton in the fridge. I also had about .2 of a cup of that ground turkey I made the other day .

I had 2 pudding cups the SF vanilla kind for snacks at work

then for lunch I think I kinda screwed up... :( I had a Chicken Club Salad from jack in the box....with NO dressing though, but it had croutons, bacon bits, almond slivers, and chicken on it.....

IS THAT BAD?? Well compared to what else they serve there I think it was a good choice, but I guess I could have not eaten the bad stuff that was on it since I ate that ice cream last night......

So today is my "rest day" from exercise. I forgot my workout clothes...

I am going for my checkup at the Dentist tomorrow morning so they can check out my sockets and make sure they are properly healing and all.

I bought my fiance this really cool Timex watch yesterday and it has the *indiglo* woooooohhhh~~~~~!!!!!

It is SO COOL! :p

I am training someone at work to start out in remarketing with me today....but I have a huge problem trying to explain things....I kinda can't explain it to where people can understand it in a simple way,,,,I get all jumbled and cluster^*#$ed with my words and say the instructions in the wrong order....so that is why I told my boss that I am going to put it on paper and after my dentist apmt tomorrow I will go over it in detail with her. I organize things 100% better when I structure it on paper.


She is at lunch right now so I really have nothing to do until she gets back here in a bit. So I am going to type on here and stuff. :p

I weighed in @ 124 @ the gym yesterday, which is fine with me, but I think its actually off about 5 lbs. how else would I be 119 Sunday and then 124 again (which is what that particular scale always says I am) yesterday??

I wonder which one is right?? My Aunt said hers is accurate FOR SURE b/c my cousin is paralyzed on most of the lower part of his body and left side of his face, and they have set their scales with the hospital scales to make sure my cousin isn't losing or gaining weight for any reason they have t owatch him really closely b/c he had a tumor removed from his brain stem (calcite tumor) and it tweaked those nerves and paralyzed alot of his body and his throat so he has to have a Trache in his trachea to breathe. He can't eat either its really sad. :( He's been like this for about 7.5 years now.

Does anyone else have a real problem with all this friggin Easter candy being around?? I gave in last night and ate like half of one marshmallow egg and half of a creme filled egg candy and then I had two chocolate covered pretzels and a handful of Mickey Grahams (tiny little whole grain graham crackers in the shape of Mickey heads) I have to quit with this sweet tooth . Oh and I had one diet Dr. pepper today , so I feel bad about that cuz I said I wasn't gonna drink those anymore...and especially after I've been so bad lately.

Have I really been bad? Or am I being too hard on myself?? Someone??

idk, I think I am doing good, but I think I need to quit eating sweets at al not even bites b/c those bites add up.

I am quitting smoking tomorrow btw and am afraid to replace the smoking habit with the eating habit like alot of people do. I would almost rather smoke for the rest of my life than to get horribly fat and not enjoy my life. But I am going to quit smoking . Tonight will be my last cig. and I have a big bulletin on my fridge and on the wall in my bathroom that says,

EACH CIG. NOT SMOKED = 25 cents
EACH PACK OF CIGS NOT SMOKED = $4.00

FOR EACH CIGARETTE NOT SMOKED, I WILL DEPOSIT 25 cents into can below (a jar will be below each sign around the house)

IF I DON'T SMOKE A PACK EVERY 3 DAYS, I WILL SAVE $40.00 A MONTH

AND $480.00 A YEAR


* My savings will go toward the swing set for the boys I want to get them :) It is a wooden one with the little cabin on the top and the monkey bars and swings and slide and sandbox on the bottom and teeter totter and some playsand.

If I feel like I want a cigarette really really bad, I will put at least a dollar in the jar.

I AM going to quit smoking. So if quitting cold turkey doesn't end up working out too well, I am getting the Nicoderm patch or some other form of self-help like that. I WILL stop smoking. It WILL happen. I WILL NOT let a cigarette control me and stop me from enjoying all the healthy activities I enjoy so much.

If anyone has any pointers let me know please ;)

or if anyone is still reading this anymore at this point.....

oh well....if no one reads this I will be researching on the net anyway on quitting techniques and tips.

well,

so tonights dinner is going to be:
-----------------------------------

1 fillet of Tilapia cookin in pan w/extra virg. olive oil
one slice WW toast and "promise" subst. butter spread
very spicy salsa ...mmmm.... :)
a cup of skim milk
spinach from fresh / 2 cups cooked
tomato cut into wedges
cooked broccoli from fresh / about a cup
dessert--I may have a baked apple with some cinnamon
 
Jaymie,
I have problems with easter candy too. My husband just gave me a few truffle eggs. Oh well, it only comes around once a year! I think you are being a little hard on yourself. The Jack in the Box salad doesn't sound too bad.
 
Thanks Teresa..

man I wanna smoke already this sucks... : /

This morning I went to the gym before my appointment. I did eat breakfast first though, I'm not into that fasted morning cardio. Even during my most dramatic restricting I always had "something" when I woke up in the morning.
I just get light headed really easy if I don't.

Bowl of Special K Red Berries and 1/2 cup skim milk
large apple
cheese stick (mozzarella 2% milkfat)

workout:::all leg machines as per usual. stairstepper 15 minutes level 10
elliptical for 9 minutes ( burned 100 cals)

then had to get to the dentist on time.................

grabbed a Zone bar (meal bar) 200 cals
and a Vitamin Water --120 cals (its full of vitamins)

then went to the dentist..............................

then had lunch::::
sandwich (2 slices WW bread @ 70 cals each)
1 slice 2% fat Pepperjack cheese---50 cals
3 slices of fat free turkey breast----60 cals
1/3 cup of dried fruit (organic)-----160 cals

.......and I wasn't going to drink any diet drinks and the wierdest thing happened at the Walmart...I was walking in the door thinking about how good all the drink machines looked.....and then all of a sudden the Mt. Dew machine SPIT OUT A DOLLAR AT ME.

I AM NOT KIDDING. So what did I do with the dollar???
I sure as hell didn't put it back in there!!! lol !

I took it and RAN. and then....bought a diet coke at work.....:p

anyway, so i plan on having that same sandwich before I workout after work. then after work::::

gym---(damn I want a cigarette....) uh..okay the gym.....I'm gonna do like something .... I really wanted to ride my bike today but there is on and off rain all day today...so maybe cycle?? or swim or something... I am thinking I'll do 45 minutes of some intense kind of cardio and then chill with working out for the rest of the da y today.

I really wanted to go to Academy Sprts and Outdoors and get some bicycling gear. Like a small pack so I can carry stuff in there like my phone and chapstick and sweat rag, maybe a sandwich and bit of money so I can go farther without having to turn back home to go eat .
-I also really need sweatbands for my wrists and forehead and I want a visor pretty bad for when I'm cycling outdoors.


So I will do 45 minutes of cardio at the gym and then be off to the sports gear! :)

welp better get back to work.
 
JaymieB said:
...and then all of a sudden the Mt. Dew machine SPIT OUT A DOLLAR AT ME. I AM NOT KIDDING. So what did I do with the dollar???
I sure as hell didn't put it back in there!!! lol ! I took it and RAN. and then....bought a diet coke at work.....:p

That is too freakin' funny!! lol....
 
Okay so its my second day not smoking....

and I just don't feel quite "right"....but I haven't smoked yet and I feel like I am can breathe alot better .

Did cycling class at the gym last night.
Could only do 45 min.s though as I had to get home . It was an hour long class. VERY INTENSE!!! I liked it alot it made me push myself pretty hard.

Although I suspect that I was using a heavier resistance than the others....b/c it seemed like no one else was sweating or even out of breathe like I was. The sweat was just dripping off me and my legs felt like they were gonna give out!

Today my inner thighs are so sore but it feels great to feel that sore feeling haven't felt it in a long long time. I think I do the whole class next time.

Well my Fitday is a little pre-eaten or w/e . the stuff is what I will eat before I leave work. So that tonight I can start @ 1000 cals when I get home and be able to eat like 400 or 500 tonight.

I have a horrible sinus headache today. this sucks.

JUMPING ROPE 15 minutes @ home tonight
calisthenics for about 30 min.s
and will be cooking and cleaning for about 4 hours at least tonight.
 
Thats excellent - 2 days not smoking!! In my experience, the first few days are the worst and, once you're past those, it gets gradually easier. The headaches may be to do with the lack of nicotine too, I had those.

Sounds like you're doing well - keep it up! :)
 
HMM..Well I've been having to train someone at work and its not helping my eating habits AT ALL...


I am SO starving right now..

All I've had all day is one bowl of Special K cereal and a can of that chicken breast 5 oz. and 3 crackers and one apple.......


I am so hungry. but I used my lunch break to work out because I was SO stressed out from all t his damn training people all day. And I was trying not to smoke...but I had to rush back to work and couldn't get anything to eat and I refuse to eat from the snack machine ... I would rather die of starvation right beside the damn thing..I WILL NOT PUT FAST FOOD OR SNACK MACHINE CRAP INTO MY BODY.

I just wish I could have a sandwich or just a small piece of something REAL to eat. I am so hungry.

I hate this. I was doing so well, now its all screwed up and I am suffering today. I went and burned off 420 cals at the gym during lunch...I should have gotten some lunch....

I also smoked 2 cigarettes today. I am a failure. I hate myself today . I hate today. I want to start over .
 
Everyone has bad days. I had a bad WEEKEND last weekend. Don't be so hard on yourself and get back on track!!
 
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