Jaymie's fitness journal :)
- Thread starter JaymieB
- Start date
Its better, but you need to double that amount. You need at least 1500. If you're exercising, what your doing is putting gas in the tank. Definitely add fruit with that cottage cheese, get some yogurt for a snack. Make whole sandwiches, with lettuce or tomato and cheese on them. You can do it. I am happy you're starting to realize whats going on.
okay,
I went to the store on my lunch break and got some things to diversify my eating instead of the same old things I am going to try some different things.
So I got these snack packs of dried apricots, cranberries, dried cherries and goldens (whatever that is lol ) , and the other is just raisins.
I got reduced fat Triscuits
and I got Light white cranberry juice to drink ( 40 cals a cup! )
and these Raisin Bran cereal bars were on sale whole box for 50 cents so I got those too.
So far today I've had 680 calories:
I had the whole sandwich for lunch, made me feel HORRIBLE....but I went and walked it off at the store, it was -
WW bread- (80)
turkey breast(60)
FF cheese- (35)
I had 4 triscuits ( according to FitDay that is 82 calories)
a box of the dried apricot- (90)
and I am drinking a cup of the juice(40)
so I am doing GOOD!
...i feel like I'm doing the right thing, but there is still that voice in my head trying to convince me I am going to regret this later.. but for now I am going to be strong and resist the temptation to entertain those thoughts ..
Thank you everyone. I hope this lasts during the weekend. If I get through the weekend without extreme guilt , I will be so happy.
I don't have the internet on the weekends so I won't be on
I went to the store on my lunch break and got some things to diversify my eating instead of the same old things I am going to try some different things.
So I got these snack packs of dried apricots, cranberries, dried cherries and goldens (whatever that is lol ) , and the other is just raisins.
I got reduced fat Triscuits
and I got Light white cranberry juice to drink ( 40 cals a cup! )
and these Raisin Bran cereal bars were on sale whole box for 50 cents so I got those too.
So far today I've had 680 calories:
I had the whole sandwich for lunch, made me feel HORRIBLE....but I went and walked it off at the store, it was -
WW bread- (80)
turkey breast(60)
FF cheese- (35)
I had 4 triscuits ( according to FitDay that is 82 calories)
a box of the dried apricot- (90)
and I am drinking a cup of the juice(40)
so I am doing GOOD!
...i feel like I'm doing the right thing, but there is still that voice in my head trying to convince me I am going to regret this later.. but for now I am going to be strong and resist the temptation to entertain those thoughts ..
Thank you everyone. I hope this lasts during the weekend. If I get through the weekend without extreme guilt , I will be so happy.
I don't have the internet on the weekends so I won't be on
Well its monday.
I did well during the weekend i think
had 800 calories on Saturday and worked out ALOT at the gym
ran 4 miles did 1.5 on the elliptical after that and did leg exercises on all the machines except the squat machine didn't have time.
Sunday i had alot of calories i don't know exactly but i think it was about 1000 and ran 4 miles that day and jumped rope for 10 minutes and cleaned house ALL DAY! spring cleaning !
Today I have had serving of Special K with almonds / vanillla - 150 (w/ skim milk )
and I had half a box of dried cranberries with it - 70 calories
and i had 7 Triscuits - 160 calories
so 380 so far and its 10:00 am
I did well during the weekend i think
had 800 calories on Saturday and worked out ALOT at the gym
ran 4 miles did 1.5 on the elliptical after that and did leg exercises on all the machines except the squat machine didn't have time.
Sunday i had alot of calories i don't know exactly but i think it was about 1000 and ran 4 miles that day and jumped rope for 10 minutes and cleaned house ALL DAY! spring cleaning !
Today I have had serving of Special K with almonds / vanillla - 150 (w/ skim milk )
and I had half a box of dried cranberries with it - 70 calories
and i had 7 Triscuits - 160 calories
so 380 so far and its 10:00 am
Ok Jaymie,
Hon that is WAY too much exercise and not a lot of calories for that amount of activity!
Also, add some more protein to your diet. Have some turkey sausage with your cereal, cottage cheese with your cranberries, and a couple of hard-boiled eggs or light cheese with your crackers and so on...
Hon that is WAY too much exercise and not a lot of calories for that amount of activity!
Also, add some more protein to your diet. Have some turkey sausage with your cereal, cottage cheese with your cranberries, and a couple of hard-boiled eggs or light cheese with your crackers and so on...
Yep, you need to probably triple your caloric intake for that much exercise. 800 calories? I have no idea how you can even function on that much less do all that working out. I just about eat 800 calories before lunch time.
okay I have been trying to do right real hard.. so far today I've had 1200 calories and I feel horrible about it.
I was planning on having salmon and veggies for dinner but I think I am afraid to go over that 1500 mark...
I might just exercise instead, at least I had this much today.
or maybe I should exercise and then only have like 2 ounces of the salmon and then have a salad with it.
or steamed spinach ?
maybe just the spinach and the salad??
I messed up my knee this weekend so I can't even run anymore this sucks...
But I have been very productive at work today and overall in a wonderful mood and just very excited about being healthy!
I just don't want to get too happy and then overdo it and end up fat like I used to be about 10 months ago....this is a big worry of mine.
having to get back in the storage shack and dig out all my old fat clothes....oh my god....how horrible that would be , I would feel like a total failure if I had to do that.
I do 2 sets of 30 squats
then 2 sets of 30 leg lifts on each side
alternated by 2 sets of 20 regular pushups
then 2 sets of 25 donkey kicks and side lift thingies
alternated by 2 sets of all of these ab workouts:
20 ab-leg lift deals lying on back
20 V- ups
30 oblique side crunch thingies
10 real fast regular crunches right after that
then 5 minutes of stretching
(usually sweating by now)
I will do 10 minutes of jumping rope ( knee permitting )
Stationary bike - 45 min to 1 hour ( fast and with medium resistance )
then I guess I'll eat the stupid salmon and spinach
4oz of salmon and steamed spinach
but only if I do ALL of these exercises if not then I won't eat anything after I leave work.
I was planning on having salmon and veggies for dinner but I think I am afraid to go over that 1500 mark...
I might just exercise instead, at least I had this much today.
or maybe I should exercise and then only have like 2 ounces of the salmon and then have a salad with it.
or steamed spinach ?
maybe just the spinach and the salad??
I messed up my knee this weekend so I can't even run anymore this sucks...
But I have been very productive at work today and overall in a wonderful mood and just very excited about being healthy!
I just don't want to get too happy and then overdo it and end up fat like I used to be about 10 months ago....this is a big worry of mine.
having to get back in the storage shack and dig out all my old fat clothes....oh my god....how horrible that would be , I would feel like a total failure if I had to do that.
I do 2 sets of 30 squats
then 2 sets of 30 leg lifts on each side
alternated by 2 sets of 20 regular pushups
then 2 sets of 25 donkey kicks and side lift thingies
alternated by 2 sets of all of these ab workouts:
20 ab-leg lift deals lying on back
20 V- ups
30 oblique side crunch thingies
10 real fast regular crunches right after that
then 5 minutes of stretching
(usually sweating by now)
I will do 10 minutes of jumping rope ( knee permitting )
Stationary bike - 45 min to 1 hour ( fast and with medium resistance )
then I guess I'll eat the stupid salmon and spinach
4oz of salmon and steamed spinach
but only if I do ALL of these exercises if not then I won't eat anything after I leave work.
Okay I changed my mind I can't do this its scaring the crap out of me today its just too much today
I am not eating for the rest of the day just to make SURE I don't get past that 1400 1500 mark or whatever...
I sound so immature right now God I HATE THIS. I need help . I need someone to be here and to see what I am eating or not eating and tell me what to do ! Its too much I don't know what I'm doing !
I feel like I ate LOADS today and I guess I have compared to what I normally ate. I just feel like a cow. I feel like I need exercise.....NOW.
okay...so I really need to stop freaking out ...
*deep breath in*
*deep breath out*
yadda yadda yadda
okay..
this is what I'm going to do...
After I leave work, I am going to go and get my kids from daycare and head home. I am making my kids dinner which is gonna be:
Salmon ( they LOVE baked salmon how wierd is that? )
baked potatoes
corn on the cob
bread with butter
dessert - SF jello
okay then I am going to sit down and talk to them about their day and have a small salad - romaine lettuce , bell pepper , fresh spinach , light done right italian dressing
then I'm going to do all the dishes and put on their movie and get on my stationary bike .
okay no, I am not going to have the salad it will just make me hungry.
God, I am SO confused.
Its so much easier NOT to eat..than to worry about all this .
At least I knew that I wasn't going to end up going overboard and if I slipped up it was okay because it was always WAY under my recommended amount anyway. Now I have to plan it out to the 'T' and I am so afraid of losing control
What if I don't pay enough attention ? What if these foods really have more calories than I think they do ? What if I'm not exercising enough ?
I don't think I am , I just wish I could run , I enjoyed running what do I do now I don't have time to walk 5 miles it was so fun to just run and feel great and sweat walking is so .. boring and dull.
God , this sucks. I give up for today. I don't know what I am doing.
I am not eating for the rest of the day just to make SURE I don't get past that 1400 1500 mark or whatever...
I sound so immature right now God I HATE THIS. I need help . I need someone to be here and to see what I am eating or not eating and tell me what to do ! Its too much I don't know what I'm doing !
I feel like I ate LOADS today and I guess I have compared to what I normally ate. I just feel like a cow. I feel like I need exercise.....NOW.
okay...so I really need to stop freaking out ...
*deep breath in*
*deep breath out*
yadda yadda yadda
okay..
this is what I'm going to do...
After I leave work, I am going to go and get my kids from daycare and head home. I am making my kids dinner which is gonna be:
Salmon ( they LOVE baked salmon how wierd is that? )
baked potatoes
corn on the cob
bread with butter
dessert - SF jello
okay then I am going to sit down and talk to them about their day and have a small salad - romaine lettuce , bell pepper , fresh spinach , light done right italian dressing
then I'm going to do all the dishes and put on their movie and get on my stationary bike .
okay no, I am not going to have the salad it will just make me hungry.
God, I am SO confused.
Its so much easier NOT to eat..than to worry about all this .
At least I knew that I wasn't going to end up going overboard and if I slipped up it was okay because it was always WAY under my recommended amount anyway. Now I have to plan it out to the 'T' and I am so afraid of losing control
What if I don't pay enough attention ? What if these foods really have more calories than I think they do ? What if I'm not exercising enough ?
I don't think I am , I just wish I could run , I enjoyed running what do I do now I don't have time to walk 5 miles it was so fun to just run and feel great and sweat walking is so .. boring and dull.
God , this sucks. I give up for today. I don't know what I am doing.
Jaymie, breathe You feel like you ate a lot only because you hardly anything before. IMO you're still not eating enough especially for your activity level. You may think it's easier not to eat but in the long term you're harming yourself. You can't keep that up forever, and if you do...well, you'll end up dead.
I'm not sure how to help you, I seriously think you need to get help for your eating disorder (and exercise bullimia) ASAP. I hope you consider seeing a therapist or a nutritionist. I know you said you cannot afford, but you can't afford to hurt yourself anymore either.
Ok, I checked out two caloric calculators and I put in your stats...not sure how old you are but I put in 25 years old/5'3/117 lbs. As far as your activity level goes, I selected very active (every day intense for the other calc).
Just to maintain your current weight at 117 lbs one calculator is saying you need 2149 calories a day and the other calc is saying you need 2245 calories a day. Here are the calculators I used:
Now, there is noooooo way you are going over your caloric intake. Now you can see that you are way under. What exactly are your goals? What weight do you want to be at? You already said you are at a healthy weight and your bodyfat is already quite low.
A way to track your calories is to use . Buy a cheap food scale so you can measure out your meats and fish, that's what I do.
Please, if you have any question feel free to PM me or ask. Just don't give up eating.
You feel like you ate a lot only because you hardly anything before. IMO you're still not eating enough especially for your activity level. You may think it's easier not to eat but in the long term you're harming yourself. You can't keep that up forever, and if you do...well, you'll end up dead. I'm not sure how to help you, I seriously think you need to get help for your eating disorder (and exercise bullimia) ASAP. I hope you consider seeing a therapist or a nutritionist. I know you said you cannot afford, but you can't afford to hurt yourself anymore either.
Ok, I checked out two caloric calculators and I put in your stats...not sure how old you are but I put in 25 years old/5'3/117 lbs. As far as your activity level goes, I selected very active (every day intense for the other calc).
Just to maintain your current weight at 117 lbs one calculator is saying you need 2149 calories a day and the other calc is saying you need 2245 calories a day. Here are the calculators I used:
Now, there is noooooo way you are going over your caloric intake. Now you can see that you are way under. What exactly are your goals? What weight do you want to be at? You already said you are at a healthy weight and your bodyfat is already quite low.
A way to track your calories is to use . Buy a cheap food scale so you can measure out your meats and fish, that's what I do.
Please, if you have any question feel free to PM me or ask. Just don't give up eating.
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I didn't realize you have kids. You want to be healthy enough to take care of them, right? Well, if you continue on your destructive path it won't happen. It's also not healthy for the kids to see you eating this way. That's one of the reasons I stopped being bulimic. I know I want to have kids and I do NOT want my kids being crazy about their body images and stuff.
Even if you don't care enough about yourself to get healthy, do it for your kids.
Even if you don't care enough about yourself to get healthy, do it for your kids.
JaymieB said:
Kids? For some reason I thought you were in your teens. Hmmm... Did you eat the same thing as your kids or just the salad? Salmon is almost the best food you can eat. I am glad that you have progressed to 1400 calories, slowly but surely is better than nothing at all. Keep going to at least 1900-2100. You dont have to count, just be aware of what you eat.
Today is good!
okay I ate the salmon last night"
I had 4 oz. of salmon
with a plate of Romaine lettuce under it and lemon juice and salsa for the dressing
I had a splodge of FF sour cream on top and um..
I didn't have any croutons so I had cheerios sprinkled on it lol
and then had these real thin corn tortillas (2 have 80 cals) and made these cool little healthy burritos
and it was really good !
Then I RELAXED instead of compulsively working out. My knee feels 100% better today from that too.
Today I have done well
breakfast was serving of Special K vanilla almond w/ skim milk
and I had 1/2 cup FF cottage cheese for the protein carb thing yall are talking about and it really works like it is supposed to!
I really was amazed at how content and clear I felt!!
much MUCH better feeling than feeling HUNGRY all the time!!!!!!
I have done excellent with my memory today at work and just in an all around great STABLE mood !
anyways, so then for my two hours later snack I had
a slice of FF cheese cut into four
on four reduced fat Triscuits crackers
and then I was full again!!
didn't even think about food until just now (two hours later !) and
had a sandwich made of :
two WW bread (80)
1 slice FF cheese (30)
and 1 and 1/2 pieces of turkey slices (50)
tablespoon FF mayo (10)
I just feel great !
THANK YOU GUYS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and by the way I am 21 years old and my kids are 4 and 2 both boys. I live alone in TX with my kids on a farm secluded in a trailer in the woods..
I have NO life besides my kids happiness which I thrive on. I thoroughly enjoy seeing them happy.
All this is like the flip side of how I used to be .
I have overcome a drug addiction (meth) and have been clean for 16 months now , coming up on my 18 month mark!
I had lost my kids last year to CPS because of my drug addiction and they were in family custody not foster home thank god for my family. I got clean and got a job and a car .
The kids father decided to disappear and fall off the face of sanity and we haven't seen him since last Christmas but he is really bad. So I now work in Garland, TX as a Remarketing Representative making 12 dollars an hour so if I can just over come THIS , I can truly be happy
okay I ate the salmon last night"
I had 4 oz. of salmon
with a plate of Romaine lettuce under it and lemon juice and salsa for the dressing
I had a splodge of FF sour cream on top and um..
I didn't have any croutons so I had cheerios sprinkled on it lol
and then had these real thin corn tortillas (2 have 80 cals) and made these cool little healthy burritos
and it was really good !
Then I RELAXED instead of compulsively working out. My knee feels 100% better today from that too.
Today I have done well
breakfast was serving of Special K vanilla almond w/ skim milk
and I had 1/2 cup FF cottage cheese for the protein carb thing yall are talking about and it really works like it is supposed to!
I really was amazed at how content and clear I felt!!
much MUCH better feeling than feeling HUNGRY all the time!!!!!!
I have done excellent with my memory today at work and just in an all around great STABLE mood !
anyways, so then for my two hours later snack I had
a slice of FF cheese cut into four
on four reduced fat Triscuits crackers
and then I was full again!!
didn't even think about food until just now (two hours later !) and
had a sandwich made of :
two WW bread (80)
1 slice FF cheese (30)
and 1 and 1/2 pieces of turkey slices (50)
tablespoon FF mayo (10)
I just feel great !
THANK YOU GUYS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and by the way I am 21 years old and my kids are 4 and 2 both boys. I live alone in TX with my kids on a farm secluded in a trailer in the woods..
I have NO life besides my kids happiness which I thrive on. I thoroughly enjoy seeing them happy.
All this is like the flip side of how I used to be .
I have overcome a drug addiction (meth) and have been clean for 16 months now , coming up on my 18 month mark!
I had lost my kids last year to CPS because of my drug addiction and they were in family custody not foster home thank god for my family. I got clean and got a job and a car .
The kids father decided to disappear and fall off the face of sanity and we haven't seen him since last Christmas but he is really bad. So I now work in Garland, TX as a Remarketing Representative making 12 dollars an hour so if I can just over come THIS , I can truly be happy
Congratulations on overcoming the d addiction and reevaluating life. Sorry to hear about the father, its guys like that give bad names to all. I dont understand how anyone can just abandon their kids.
I'm extremely pleased to hear how well you feel. Just remember to keep increasing calories slowly. The snack was a little small, but thats ok, we're taking baby steps.
Some people have it rougher than others, but that just makes them stronger. Learn from mistakes, thats all we can do.
I'm extremely pleased to hear how well you feel. Just remember to keep increasing calories slowly. The snack was a little small, but thats ok, we're taking baby steps.
Some people have it rougher than others, but that just makes them stronger. Learn from mistakes, thats all we can do.
Its getting better
I am still feeling very good and with such ENERGY !!!
I feel like the world is regaining color. I think it was drained of all its beauty there for a long long time in my head.
crazy how the simplest thing can keep you from seeing things the way they really are...
And how precious everything is to me. I don't want to EVER be anorexic again. I want to keep getting better.
These are my goals and I am going to have to deal with the night time crazies for a while I guess. I kinda fall off the deep end at night at my house. There's no one to talk to. Kids are in bed, everything is done, and I'm not tired. Its that idle time that KILLS me.... Then I start over-analyzing my entire day and what I should have done and not done and done different and how different and what would've happened or not happenned or what would I be doing different right now and yadda yadda yadda !!
So anyway,
after work I get the little piece of Heaven I just love it I get to go to the gym and spend an hour and a half up there doing w/e I want!
so I'm doing upper body today since I did legs on Saturday. Then I'll do legs again on Thursday after work.
NOT TO ANYONE WHO READS THIS:::::
I am NOT literate on the terminology of weight machines or gym related "paraphernalia" !! I have NO friggin idea what these things are called!!!!
especially the upper body ones..
so here goes anyway:
I start out with
the "bicep curl machine" and do 3 sets of 12 at 50 lbs
then I actually alternate that with the "tricep curl machine or w/e " and do 3 sets of 12 at 50 lbs of those
then I do the "deltoid machine" 3 sets of 12 @ 55 lbs
then I do the CHEST PRESS 3 sets of 12 @ 40 lbs
then I do BACK EXERCISES:
" back pulldown machine " 3 sets of 12 at 40 lbs
the uh..." sitting down-back lean back thingy that you lean back and push the bar until your flat" machine...... lol ........3 sets of 15 of that @ 110 lbs
then then I do the "ab cruncher dealy" 3 sets of 25 @ 35 lbs
OKAY NOW CARDIO:
I do the stair stepper at level 9 for 20 minutes
then I do the elliptical (I really wish I could run on the treadmill....) at level 9 for however long I have until I have to leave
stretch for 5 minutes before leaving
hmmm..that sounds kinda boring huh? I hate upper body day . I like LEG day it tires me out. I just don't want to get all buff as hell on my upper body I already have like no boobs so I don't think I want pectoral definition going on and about .
so I had *drumroll* 1200 calories so far today ! yay!
and I have this little protein bar I'm gonna eat Before I work out too its really neat!
Then I will have a little something after working out tonight like maybe that leftover salmon in the fridge with some salsa and then I will shower and get in bed .
I am still feeling very good and with such ENERGY !!!
I feel like the world is regaining color. I think it was drained of all its beauty there for a long long time in my head.
crazy how the simplest thing can keep you from seeing things the way they really are...
And how precious everything is to me. I don't want to EVER be anorexic again. I want to keep getting better.
These are my goals and I am going to have to deal with the night time crazies for a while I guess. I kinda fall off the deep end at night at my house. There's no one to talk to. Kids are in bed, everything is done, and I'm not tired. Its that idle time that KILLS me.... Then I start over-analyzing my entire day and what I should have done and not done and done different and how different and what would've happened or not happenned or what would I be doing different right now and yadda yadda yadda !!
So anyway,
after work I get the little piece of Heaven I just love it
I get to go to the gym and spend an hour and a half up there doing w/e I want! so I'm doing upper body today since I did legs on Saturday. Then I'll do legs again on Thursday after work.
NOT TO ANYONE WHO READS THIS:::::
I am NOT literate on the terminology of weight machines or gym related "paraphernalia" !! I have NO friggin idea what these things are called!!!!
especially the upper body ones..
so here goes anyway:
I start out with
the "bicep curl machine" and do 3 sets of 12 at 50 lbs
then I actually alternate that with the "tricep curl machine or w/e " and do 3 sets of 12 at 50 lbs of those
then I do the "deltoid machine" 3 sets of 12 @ 55 lbs
then I do the CHEST PRESS 3 sets of 12 @ 40 lbs
then I do BACK EXERCISES:
" back pulldown machine " 3 sets of 12 at 40 lbs
the uh..." sitting down-back lean back thingy that you lean back and push the bar until your flat" machine...... lol ........3 sets of 15 of that @ 110 lbs
then then I do the "ab cruncher dealy" 3 sets of 25 @ 35 lbs
OKAY NOW CARDIO:
I do the stair stepper at level 9 for 20 minutes
then I do the elliptical (I really wish I could run on the treadmill....) at level 9 for however long I have until I have to leave
stretch for 5 minutes before leaving
hmmm..that sounds kinda boring huh? I hate upper body day . I like LEG day it tires me out. I just don't want to get all buff as hell on my upper body I already have like no boobs so I don't think I want pectoral definition going on and about .
so I had *drumroll* 1200 calories so far today ! yay!
and I have this little protein bar I'm gonna eat Before I work out too its really neat!
Then I will have a little something after working out tonight like maybe that leftover salmon in the fridge with some salsa and then I will shower and get in bed .
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Jaymie,
That's really great. I'm proud of you! I'm glad you noticed the difference in your mood and ability to concentrate also. That's awesome! You made my whole day.
teresa
That's really great. I'm proud of you! I'm glad you noticed the difference in your mood and ability to concentrate also. That's awesome! You made my whole day.
teresa