Jaymie's fitness journal :)

they are 4 and 2 but they can't ride without training wheels yet :)

But they are gettin' there! thanks for asking about my kids that means alot to me :) I love them SO MUCH it hurts....I miss them right now.....they are my sunshine .... my reasons for doing the right things....and my inspiration to live and love.
 
TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY !! YAY!!

So far I've had a StarBucks caramel mocchiato with 3 shots of espresso in it though (present from coworker) dammit....:(

but I told myself I would not flip out on calories SO much just keep it at least a bit in line today.

I had the usual cereal with skim mik and banana with FF cottage cheese this morning so I've only had 670 calories so far including the StarBucks.

But I'm having a good day.

Last night I did:

***calisthenics-vigorous effort for 20 minutes
***danced with the boys to all the American Idol songs...so that was like 45 minutes of damcing till I was really sweating hard didn't stop moving the whole time it was on even the commercials !
***Ran 13 laps around my yard ( took 20 minutes ) ran really hard
***stationary bike for 25 minutes @ 200 watts resistance was killing me!
***then walked @ about 4.0 mph pace for 20 minutes around yard while pumping arms
***jumped rope 400 times split into two sessions b/c i started peeing on myself :( damn weakened bladder muscles from pregnancy :( gotta do more kegels ! lol sorry if that was tmi !! LMFAO !
***then finished cleaning up the house and took a shower got in bed @ 12:00 midnight

So with all that I think I should be alright to have some treats today.
what do yall think?
should I ?

My dad is taking me out to lunch and I picked Golden Corral b/c they have alot of healthy food like vegetables which i LOVE !

brussel sprouts, squash, liver and onions !! my favorite !! and some roasted potatoes with carrots , and an ear of corn is in my mind for today!

then I'll finish it up with a bit of fresh fruit and piece of their sugar free cake or a SF pudding !

can I have this ??

I hope someone reassures me this is okay before I leave today....
 
I was thinking about posting a couple of pics of me but I can't find a 'before' picture, plus i'm a little self concious about my pictures. But i will probably end up putting one up eventually, maybe after my birthday lunch deal with my dad cuz i'm about to leave to go eat.

I think i'm also going to make another appointment at the gym for a follow up assessment since its been about 6 months since my last assessment.

it would be very interesting to know my bmr and bf% currently. and then make some new goals !
 
:eek: Wow I post alot in my diary....

heheh...well

okay so back from Golden Corral now.

i had 5 brussel sprouts
.2 cup cooked carrots
1 cup boiled veggies (green beans,carrot slices, red pepper pieces)
1.2 slice beef liver w/onions
1 tablespoon A-1 sauce
3 cooked broccoli spears
1 cauliflower spear
.2 cup boiled zucchini

and one slice of SF white cake with sf whip cream on top (tasted like there was hardly any fat in it or calories)

so I think I did really good!!! :)

I'm not too full just feel good and not tired.

I love vegetables. hmm..which reminds me of another question i wanted to ask on the nutrition thread...
 
file-32.jpg


okay this is me a few weeks ago.

:p
 
alright so this weekend was alot of biking, I did about 40 miles on Friday the longest I have ever gone :)

I rode through two cities and passed two water towers !

Then Saturday I did about 25 miles my legs were pretty sore, and then Sunday played two games of volley ball and did calisthenics for about 15 minutes and stationary bike for about 8 minutes @ about 150 watts or so.

So I can really see a difference in my body from now to about a couple weeks ago. I have lost 2 pounds so far and there is getting to be less and less fat around my thighs and stomach which were the two hardest places for me to lose weight.

I think it is because lately I have close to no carbs at my last meal. It is usually my veggies and fish or chicken for dinner with a glass of skim milk.
 
okay so I had a really negative post I deleted . I'm glad I could actually delete it cuz it was really bad.

So I took my meds and I am okay now.

yeah. so today's nutrition is lacking, but not much I can do about it ..to sum it up the post I deleted had alot to do with financial difficulty..and I have an idle mind today due to NOTHING to do at work. Theres no new business and I am bored so I started worrying about everything.

Went in to tell the boss I had nothing to do and he told me to go away cuz he was real busy,,,so here I am,,, playing around on the net,,,lol

hopefull they'll give me something to do here soon.

Today so far foodwise:

BREAKFAST
---------------------
Total cereal 1 cup
.5 cup skim milk
1 small banana

SNACK
------------
1 medium apple

LUNCH
-------------
tuna sandwich on WW bread

I've had 680 calories and its 3:20 pm

so I should be okay when I get home I'll have salmon and salad

will do calisthenics tonight for about 15 minutes and clean the house its filthy. while keeping myself from falling into a depression hopefully.
 
Jaymie I think you are doing a great job. All that you are trying to change is NOT EASY. Give yourself some credit. People who haven't been through ana often don't get it and can be very very rude. Keep your chin up and remember WHY you are striving for health. brush them off as ignorant idiots. Make a healthy plan and then stay the course. Even when you wonder why the heck you have to eat or why your clothes are temporarily getting tighter and get depressed remember your plan, your goals and your kids. You are a fighter and you're going to beat all of this! Don't you dare sabatoge yourself because we are your accountibility and we care about you! this is a great support network. All you have to do is reach out to it and someone will be there to lift you up. I have been where you are. Totally, even down to the extreme financial hardships and money for food issue. I've been through a ton. If you ever need to just vent I'm totally here.
 
Well, I am going to make some definite tweaks to my current routine of diet/exercise.

So here goes:

I keep telling myself it is okay to have these sugar free fat free things for treats .... but the thing is they are always at night because I am afraid to look like a fat@$$ eating them at work...I have to cut this out.

last night I had about 10 chocolate morsels, one lowfat graham cracker dipped in FF cool whip, 2 SF popsicles, and my birthday cake is still around so I just had to lick my fingers of the icing when serving it to my kids but I didn't eat any of it really, but why did I just have to lick my fingers? I have no control of myself anymore...

Things have to change starting NOW or I'm gonna go crazy with myself...

Okay I have to write this stuff down to implant it all in my head. So disregard my retarded ways of self-motivation.

#1 ) NO SWEETS AT NIGHT NOT EVEN SUGARFREE SWEETS
#2 ) LIMIT OF 2 DIET PEPSI PER DAY
#3 ) LIMIT OF 2 CUPS OF COFFEE PER DAY TODAY AND ONLY 1 CUP AFTER TODAY since I already had 2 cups.....damn office job....free coffee.....dammit......
#4 ) DINNER IS @ 7:00 AND NOTHING TO EAT AFTER DINNER
#5 ) BEGIN TO QUIT SMOKING TODAY. TODAY IS LIMIT OF 4 CIGS. TOMORROW IS 3 CIGS. THURSDAY IS 3, FRIDAY IS 2, SAT IS 2, SUNDAY IS 1, MONDAY IS 1, TUESDAY IS 0 !!! hope I can do this...
#5 )DRINK MORE WATER - EVEN CRYSTAL LIGHT IS BETTER THAN SO MUCH SODA ALL THE TIME.

Exercise:
Volleyball on weekends and biking
Gym on Tues. and Thurs. after work and during lunch break.
jumping rope and stationary bike at home


Today's food so far:
---------------------
BR-total and skim milk with small banana
7 grapes dipped in FF yogurt and 2 cubic inches of baked salmon

SN- (will be an apple and 2 cubic inches of salmon)

LU- ( will be a salmon sandwich with jalapeno's and 1 tbsp of diet mayo)

SN- ( baked potato with 2 tbsp of FF sour cream )

DN- ( will be salmon and salad with FF italian dressing and salsa on the salmon with baby carrots on the side and sliced tomato )


exercise
--------------

arms / back / chest

3 x 12 @ 50 bicep curls
3 x 12 @ 50 tricep
3 x 12 @ 50 deltoid
3 x 12 @ 45 chest press
3 x 12 @ 50 back machine
3 x 12 @ 95 back extension
------------------------------
cardio:
stair stepper for 20 minutes on level 10
elliptical for 20 minutes or more on level 9
treadmill or swimming for 20 minutes vigorous effort
 
JaymieB said:
..
I feel sad and I feel horrible now.. I thought it was just the mirror..but when I grabbed something to try on, I decided to get one size UP from what I normaly wore, ( normally wear a 1, but I grabbed a 3 ) and it was too small , it wouldn't even fit over my thighs.....I feel disgusting.
Click to expand...

Hi JaymieB...I've been reading your diary and I've left you a reply in another thread...NEVER EVER worry about wearing a 3 because you used to wear a 1. Clothes makers often differ in their sizing. I have stuff in my closet ranging from a 0 to a 6! Same with shoes.

Also, it worries me (and I don't even know you personally) that you count and obsess about calories so much!

Try something new, this is what I do. (Believe me I don't want to be fat as much as you lol). I worry more about what I'm eating and not so much about keeping track of calories, you almost set yourself up for failure that way.

By eating foods you KNOW are good for you you don't have to worry about keeping track: Tuna, fish, chicken, egg whites, cottage cheese, whole wheat breads. This is a usual day for me right now. I've only been doing this for two weeks and I already feel better, not hungry throughout the day, not guilty:

B-oatmeal/1 whole egg
s-1/2 b sandwich 1 egg white (or veggies, egg white, 1 slice of bread)
L-tuna/chicken or egg salad sandwich with lettuce, tomato, onion and one veggie (or a small salad)
s-tuna or cottage cheese with 1 egg white(sometimes 1 slice of ww bread also)
D-Chicken, fish a veggie and sometimes PASTA (I've gotta have my pasta)

*It may need some help but it's an evolving process (I think I may need more protein)

I drink 3 liters of water everyday and I work out 4-5 days a week (cardio every day for about 15 minutes-running mostly and strength training split (upper/lower/upper/lower).

On weekends I eat pretty much what I want within reason, like I said in the other thread I even had on twinkie over the weekend! :)

I've been following the advise of people here and I can see better results!

Good luck! I'm gonna keep pressing you to STOP counting so much...it's quality more than quantity!
 
Thank you so much Moonbeam3 ,
I thought everybody had forgotten about me... but I know I obsess over the calorie thing too much and end up eating all that sugar free sweet crap that only has like 30 cals per serving but its loaded with all kinds of wierd man-made crap....:(

I really love vegetables and I could eat them all day....problem is they leave me wanting more and then I get too full on them, just the vegetables.

I am always hungry all day long, and I try so hard to keep my meals spaced two hours and do the carb protein thing. But I always end up eating too much at night, because I basically have to have whatever is available at the house until I get the food stamps in. I am trying to let my kids have as much variety as possible and I am just trying to survive on scraps and whatever is about to go bad in the fridge....not much fun....its really making me depressed actually....

I have this huge problem that always clouds my mind and it really triggers emotional eating / or non-eating....but neither one takes the real pain away..my problem is that I constantly long for a female influence in my life. I constantly am finding myself (more than 3 times a day seriously) just wishing I had a real best friend or just another girl to just hang out with...my mom is not available for such relationship...this would heal my heart though, I would be free of feeling constantly lonely for that missing link in my life. But the chances come and go, the 'friends' end up being backstabbers, either that or they are the type of mothers who don't even really live with their kids or understand what it is to be a mother. I live in a town surrounded by drugs and no one knows what life is about anymore....I just wanted a friend who would understand and just be there. Instead I get the ones who never call you back or who move away and then forget about you. Or they sleep with your boyfriend....

I just miss my mom :( and I am trying so hard not to cry right now as I write this...I am constantly feeling like I should really take my vacation from work and see about a week stay as inpatient @ one of the hospitals I was in when younger . I loved those hospitals and I need that support right now. I need a full-time therapist . Not the stupid quacks I keep wasting my money to try out.

I find myself unhappy lately. Feigning contentment and forcing myself through the days, while holding it all in not to worry anyone with my problems, feeling like I'm losing control, feeling like I'll be surrounded by obnoxious men and boys forever. All the women either hate me for some reason or they are too busy partying while their parents watch their kids for them, then they think I am boring and sucks because I can't go out to clubs with them or jump up and decide to go somewhere at night, I don't even like clubs anyway.

I just want to take my kids to the park and be happy in their smiles. :)

Its the only thing that makes me happy anymore...
 
Maybe you can get yourself involved in a church, they often have singles (not sure but I think you're a single mom right) minitstries and functions and you can meet people with good family values.

As far as eating healthy, it doesn't have to cost that much more. I buy my bread at the $.99 store most of the time, if it's on sale at the regular store I'll buy multiples and freeze it. When it's ready you just take it out and leave it on the counter and it doesn't come out soggy. Tuna is SO cheap, that's the main reason I buy it, I even pack it in my little girl's lunch, she loves it. I like to eat stuff like liver and onions with cucumber with lemon on the side or sliced tomatos, you can make a whole meal with $5.00!!!

I try to buy the store brand of anything if it's going to taste the same, some things though you can't. And definitely don't smoke or waste you hard earned $$ on junk like sodas, or candies or 'sugar free' anything. If you get a sweet tooth buy Kellog's frosted mini wheats and grab a handfull, that's what I do.

You would laugh if you saw my fridge and/or cupboards, they look empty most of the time because I don't normally buy junk.

You would be surprised how full I actually am through out the day after I started eating 6 times a day, mainly because I drink lots of water, keep a large bottle of water on your desk and drink it throughout the day.

btw, does your mom live far?
 
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yes, my mom lives pretty far..its on another planet..lol..

Yes I am drinking alot of water starting this morning and it does make a big difference really it does. :)

I know I am only faking myself out with all the sugar free stuff. I never ate sugar free ANYTHING until my grandpa got diabetes and I ended up trying some of his stuff and liked it better because it wasn't AS sweet as sugar is. AND he lost like 40 lbs just eating sugar free food.

So I started drinking diet soda and crap like that. But I don't even want a soda right now it sounds really nasty ew..

hmmm....I think the night time eating is more of an emotional thing. Because I am sure that liver and onions and tomatoes would be a substantial meal....but just to think of only having that NOW is make me feel starved. But then again I really just don't go to sleep until about midnight and that leaves a 5 hour gap in between dinner and sleep. I get so hungry that I end up making myself go to sleep with Tylenol PM's and then waking up RAVENOUS !!!!! I mean I want to eat everything in the fridge in the morning. one serving of Special K and skim milk and a banana and half cup cottage cheese is what I eat for mornings...and i have to force myself to stay away from food for at least an hour after that or I will eat everything it is SO hard to do.
 
Maybe you're overworking your body too, You seem to do a lot of cardio I only do about 15-20 minutes a night.

Try reading at night, it'll be good with keeping your mind off of food, it'll fill up that 5 hour gap PLUS it will feed your mind as well. I love reading, I can give you some really good book titles and authors to look for.

But it looks like you've come a long way and as long as you're always changing for the better then you're moving in the right direction!
 
Whats the problem with eating at night? I always have a meal at about 10:30 - 11:00pm. Usually something with protein like grilled chicken. I certainly wouldn't want to leave my body without fuel throughout the entire evening AND overnight. If you stick to just one meal rather than snacking throughout the evening, you A) won't think about food all night ebcause you'll know there is a meal coming and B) will keep your metabolism ticking over.

Its a hotly debated topic but, I've not found this to hinder my progress at all...
 
ah, hmm.. interesting..
yes, I have not found it to hinder my progress either really.

As long as it really contains close to no substantial carbs or sugar I think it is alright. :)

I did really good yesterday and am very proud of myself. On top of eating well, I have been offered alot of alcohol the past few weeks and I have a bottle of tequila in the freezer and I haven't even wanted to drink at all lately. I see it as totally useless calories. And it spikes my blood sugar too much I get really hungry for cereal like 3 hours after drinking....which makes me feel horrible when I eat it at night..and I can't sleep when I drink ! So I just don't drink more than I feel comfortable with even in those 'let loose' type situations...I don't like to get too loose! I'm just not happy that way period. I used to drink ALOT like I'm talkin,. a bottle of liquor a DAY. I quit after new year's and then a few months ago decided to drink a bit and I've had no real urge ever since breaking the binge drinking cycle. I'm just glad I caught it before it became a big problem like my mom's. :(

ANYWAY....
on to business..

Last night's workout was a doozy... I sweated WAY more than I usually do and had some trouble breathing. The air is exceptionally humid lately..damn Texas crazy weather patterns are killing my allergies. I feel like there's a brick on my chest when I breathe.

Yeah, so I lost 2 pounds alone from sweating! I drank water ALL day yesterday I wonder if that had anything to do with it. I mean I had loads of energy, just sweated alot and couldn't breathe too well too fast ya know.

I had 180 oz. of water yesterday !! Big improvement. I usually would just drink diet soda all day long. I had 2 diet pepsi's yesterday and that was that.

yeah, so blah blah blah I sure do ramble on my posts don't i ? I will cut it out for now. Will post food and exercise later.

oh yeah, and on the cardio deal. I can't do cardio every day at the gym, and I sit in this damn desk ALL DAY !! I feel so lazy once I leave here I am raring to do something anything physical I feel like tortured having to sit all day. I don't even sit at my house I never SIT !! I don't like to just...well..sit.

I like to be up and about. So since I can't do much during the day I make sure and keep my body moving when I get home.
 
ChrisJG said:
Whats the problem with eating at night? I always have a meal at about 10:30 - 11:00pm...Its a hotly debated topic but, I've not found this to hinder my progress at all...
Click to expand...

That's good to hear, TrainerLynn agrees with you too I think, I read one of her posts and she said food is fuel, it doesn't matter when you fuel up, or something like that.

Last night I worked out and after I was finished (at 10 p.m.) I had some grilled chicken and a bit of pasta...
 
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