TESTS:
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yesterdays tests consisted of upper GI sonogram , lower GI sonogram, and intravaginal sonogram. Which none showed anything 'wierd' as far as the sonogram technician could tell. She said the doctor would have to look at them to know what was really going on.
My desk is PILED...and i mean piled....with work today....apparently, they've been awaiting my arrival back to do all of this instead of kinda like...doing it ... but oh well.,. hope these offers still stand and I'll do my best its the best I can do!
Well, i just took my pain medicine...its crazy how living with all of this pain can really make you appreciate life more...but it does...you simply begin to appreciate that you can even have a thought process anymore.....and I am thankful .
Me and my Dad had a long LONG talk yesterday about things...
this was talk that I brought on, and , a talk that was after a much more emotional talk with Robert...
...who is now...not my fiance anymore
and I am going to cry again if I start talking about it..so I'll just say that we both understood each other's needs and flaws, it was a very mature break up.....and I can't believe it happened .... but .... it did.
So, we are still best friends, and remain there for each other's support i guess.
I broke down last night, and it was nice.
It was nice to release all of that.
my talk with my Dad was very very nice. And we came to an understanding on our points of view.
I realized that I do push everyone away when I get depressed. I get introverted and make myself misunderstood on purpose....I find things in anyone I date so that it makes me not like them anymore or not want to be with them anyway. I do these things..
But I also know for a fact I am entirely rebellious against change of any kind....
especially if it involves changing myself for a reason that seems of no substance.
I don't know if I'll ever marry..
But at least I want my kids to be happy . Thats what I want.
so yesterday I was only able to get about 900 calories...well not ABOUT thats how much I had exactly. I was so not hungry yesterday so sick.
Today I had tiny bowl of cereal and small banana, an orange
then I had to eat something with this antibiotic, so had a slimfast bar 200 cal plus protein type thingy.
yeah,so I'm gonna get to work and hopefully this pain pill will bbe kicking in soon I think it is already a little bit,,,