PolarPink's Journey

LaMaria said:
Well done not getting stuck in the binge cycle! We all have our negative days. And sometimes while I´m writing I realize I sound like a bitchy, unpleasant person so I rephrase and it reframes the topic that way in my head so I genuinely feel better just for writing.
Click to expand...
Thanks, LaMa :) Reframing has a lot to do with it with regards to my diet and life in general. It seems when I struggle with one aspect the other seems to follow. I won't claim to understand it, but I'm insanely grateful when I start to regain some version of control over myself.

Cate said:
We certainly do all have our negative days. I don't think we'd be human if we didn't. I often feel much better after typing in my diary. It's a great outlet.
Click to expand...
You know, as much as I was embarrassed for sharing my flub, I have to agree that it felt good to get it out there and be seen... especially by you guys. I feel so blessed to have the support that I receive from you all :)
 
Morning weight
169.8

Breakfast 8AM
1/2 cup Quaker Oats rapid oats
1/2 handful Thompson raisins
3 heaping tbsps Activia blueberry yogurt
1/4 cup blueberries

Lunch 12PM
2 cups spring mix salad
1/2 medium avocado
cucumber, iceberg lettuce, yellow onion, orange pepper, pickled jalapeno brine

Snacks
1 bag Orville Reddenbacher better popcorn 1PM
1 Granny Smith apple 2:30PM

Dinner 5PM
3.5 oz medium ground beef
1 medium pocket pita
1 tbsp tzatziki
2 tbsps medium salsa
1 tsp olive oil
1/2 cup spring mix salad
iceberg lettuce, yellow onion, green pepper, cucumber

Water
8 cups
 
Hi, Shannon. Regaining some control over yourself is half the battle I think. We are in charge of ourselves, but sometimes it's hard to realise that. We remind one another gently when we are too hard on ourselves. I love the support in here.
Edit: You just posted your food for the day. That looks really good! :)
 
Cate said:
Hi, Shannon. Regaining some control over yourself is half the battle I think. We are in charge of ourselves, but sometimes it's hard to realise that. We remind one another gently when we are too hard on ourselves. I love the support in here.
Edit: You just posted your food for the day. That looks really good! :)
Click to expand...
You're absolutely right, Cate. We are in control of what we do - or react to. I have been having trouble accepting certain things that are out of my control and have somehow subconsciously allowed for self-sabotage to creep in... along with some old habits refusing to die lol It's so great that this place exists and that it's full of people such as yourself! The support here rocks and I wish I had thought of looking into an online support group earlier. Anyway, that's the past (more stuff out of my control) and so I'm just glad that I made the excellent decision of joining this site for myself. It's absolutely paying off in the present and I'm optimistic that it will continue to be going forward.
PS- Thanks for the food diary feedback. I brought my A game today hehe
 
LaMaria said:
Your A game looks excellent! Makes me regret not having bought avocados and peppers...
Click to expand...
Do it! I'm trying to eat more veg as Cate suggested and avocado always makes salad ultra enticing for me. I've actually been craving avocado on toast with sliced tomato, iceberg (dat crunch), and ground pepper. I also have got to make some stuffed peppers one of these nights... Can you tell that I'm posting before I cook dinner? hehe I hope you're keeping well!
 
Mmm I love Avocados... A few months ago I could get 10 small ones for $1 at a nearby fruit stand, but sadly they're no longer available. :(

Your meals yesterday look great - well done!
 
Morning weight
168.9 lbs

Breakfast 8AM
1/2 cup rapid oats
1/2 handful Thompson raisins
3 heaping tbsps yogurt
1/4 cup blueberries
2 tbsps coffee cream

Lunch 12:30PM
114g Old Fashioned Montreal smoked meat
2 slices rye bread
2 tsps yellow mustard

Dinner 5PM
14.1 oz cabbage rolls
2 tbsp 14% sour cream

Water
8 cups
 
Err2 said:
Mmm I love Avocados... A few months ago I could get 10 small ones for $1 at a nearby fruit stand, but sadly they're no longer available. :(

Your meals yesterday look great - well done!
Click to expand...
I don't know about you, but I'm the kind of person that can eat a lot of the same meals because a) I know that it'll fit my numbers for the day and b) it seems that I don't bore that easily lol So to say that when I can't get my hands on what I "can have" and what I actually like, I get a little Hulkesque for a moment. Did the fruit stand shutter due to COVID-19?
 
PolarPink said:
I don't know about you, but I'm the kind of person that can eat a lot of the same meals because a) I know that it'll fit my numbers for the day and b) it seems that I don't bore that easily lol So to say that when I can't get my hands on what I "can have" and what I actually like, I get a little Hulkesque for a moment. Did the fruit stand shutter due to COVID-19?
Click to expand...
I'm totally the same way, I could eat the same meal all week. I try to add more variety, but it is nice to not have to think about what & how much to eat.

The fruit stand is still open, but lately it has been mostly squash (and I honestly can't tell the difference in quality between cheaper supermarket squash). Last time they did have some really good tomatoes and corn though.
 
Food diary update for August 30, 2020:

Snacks 8:45PM
1 bag Orville Reddenbacher butter popcorn
***********

I had a hard time deciding whether to eat or starve before bed last night. Even using the term 'starve' seems a bit ridiculous, but that's how I was thinking about it at the time. It became clear to me when I thought about the fact that I could wake up this morning and see a number on the scale that would not exactly make the deprivation worth it, that eating something was the better decision. I know I'm not advancing modern medicine, creating a time machine, or ending world hunger, but it was one small step for this gal to make the decision that was slightly healthier than the alternative. I could have had a carrot, but I wanted popcorn. The end lol Besides, I'm not chasing perfection and I'm still in the baby steps stage of making healthier choices of my journey. I know I could also stop weighing myself daily, but it keeps me accountable. When I take a break from the scale I tend to wind up way off course.

I'm proud of myself these past few days for keeping with the program. There have been many stressors and multiple opportunities for self-sabotage since my binge last Thursday, but I'm hanging in there. I remind myself how much more my goals mean to me than the temporary sensation of something delicious. I already have what I want to bake for a treat in mind when I think it will be more appropriate. I'm not waiting to see a number on the scale, rather until I think I have gotten a better handle on my food choices and head space. I'm really excited too because I've never made anything with yeast before and it has been ages since I've had a cinnamon bun. It'll be worth it because I will have learned a new skill, I will have made it with my own two hands and simply because I am allowed to eat empty calories sometimes... just in moderation... and not because I'm trying to numb myself.
 
Err2 said:
I'm totally the same way, I could eat the same meal all week. I try to add more variety, but it is nice to not have to think about what & how much to eat.

The fruit stand is still open, but lately it has been mostly squash (and I honestly can't tell the difference in quality between cheaper supermarket squash). Last time they did have some really good tomatoes and corn though.
Click to expand...
Exactly. I enjoy the simplicity of it all... I can get pretty stressed out about what to eat in order to achieve the long term goal. I know that diversity is the spice of life and I also try to get some new things in there, but in the end I tend to gravitate back to the same stuff lol

I don't get out to the farmer's markets here enough... and soon there won't be much of that in my area at all. Harvest season is soon upon us. It'll soon be Thanksgiving here... October is just around the corner. I should really get some more fresh corn. Thanks for reminding me! lol
 
Morning weight
168.8 lbs

Breakfast 8AM
2 large fried eggs
2 slices d'italiano bread
3 tsps Becel olive oil margarine
2 tbsps International Delight fat free French vanilla coffee cream

Lunch 11AM
4 cups (2 servings) homemade cabbage & carrot soup
2 tbsps Sealtest 14% sour cream

Dinner 5PM
142g baked wild sockeye salmon
1/4 cup broccoli
1 pat butter

Snacks
1 square Waterbridge Belgian milk chocolate (1PM)
1 bag Orville Reddenbacher butter popcorn (8PM)

Water
8 cups
 
Good news seems to translate into good choices these last 3 days. I have encouraged myself to eat cleaner and start my exercise regime again. I even weight trained today! Going for my walks again as well which is helping my anxiety :) I'm feeling positive and focused on getting my act together. It would seem that the information that has come to light feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. My weight isn't really reflecting these mental shifts much as of yet, but I'm suddenly feeling a heck of a lot more patient with regards to the journey and dedicated to seeing myself succeed in the long run. I'm trying not to get (nor sound) overly confident... arrogance never helped anybody, but I've decided that I deserve to have the things that I want which include a healthy mind, body, and spirit.

Yesterday I weighed in at 167.8 lbs.
I ate a protein dense meal with 2 scrambled eggs and 2 tbsps peanut butter on 2 slices of toast and tbsps of non-fat cream in my coffee.
Lunch was light(ish) with 2 servings of 2 cups of homemade cabbage & carrot soup.
Dinner consisted of 4.5 oz pork roast and maybe 1.5 cups of roasted potato, carrot, onion, garlic cloves, and turnip (I think roast veggies is one of my favourite foods).
I ate 3 ginger snap cookies for a snack.

Today I weighed in at 168.6 lbs.
3 gingersnaps in the morning with my coffee which has 2 tbsps of non-fat cream.
1/2 cup oatmeal and 3 tbsps yogurt for breakfast
2/3 can tuna in water and spring salad (1 tbsp mayo and 6 slices butter pickles for flavour) wrap for lunch
2 hotdogs with green ketchup, mustard, and onion for dinner


Water has been on point at 8 cups on both days.

All in all... I can't complain :)
 
All sounds excellent!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top