I had a small bowl again last night too. Lunch was a chicken ceasar salad from Wendy's and I cave and had the other half of her hamburger.
Today my child severely stressed me out before noon...
Oh, man, I have those days, too. Take yesterday as an example! My oldest had an attitude the second he woke up and it just set the tone for the day. By dinner I was so stressed, I was banging things and such. Hence the two bowls of ice cream. *sigh*
Let me tell you..today they had an assembly at school, which in my pissed off state of mind really not sure if this was a good idea or not, but she stayed home from school and took a nap. If she wouldn't thrown her fit, she could've seen it, but nope, she threw the fit, she stayed home.
She's in a better mood now but she's still on my list. At least she didn't miss much, so it's all good. Hope I did the right thing...
She's in a better mood now but she's still on my list. At least she didn't miss much, so it's all good. Hope I did the right thing...
Wendy - sorry for taking over your post with my problems...
Not for her. She loves school and wouldn't miss a day if it was up to her. I think she would go even if she was sick.
Like I said, I'm sure it wasn't the right thing to do, but that's the only thing I could think of to do that would hurt her and maybe get her to think about what she did.
It was everything from I'm going to pack and live with memaw and papa to I don't like you anymore and don't want to live with you. It really made her mad even more when I ignored her when she was throwing a fit. Something set her off in DG and started the I'm going to live with memaw. I spanked her butt and finished what I was doing. We left and thought I would give her one more chance (bad idea, should've went home like I planned and had lunch and took her to school). Went to Wendy's and got lunch. She kept saying that she wanted fries and thru a fit when she didn't think she got them. Her words were you don't pay attention to me. I smacked her and took her home. I sent her up to room with no t.v. and she ate lunch in the dark. She continued with her fit so I spanked her and put her to bed. She cried and screamed and finally went to sleep. When she woke up and realized she didn't go to school, she started to cry again. She started to say I wanna go live with memaw but stopped when I told her that I wasn't going to hear it anymore and go to her room.
She's been spoiled since she was born, so we're trying to break that. It's so hard and I don't recommend anybody spoiling their kids. They'll end up like my daughter 5 yrs later trying to undue what she's used to.
Not for her. She loves school and wouldn't miss a day if it was up to her. I think she would go even if she was sick.
Like I said, I'm sure it wasn't the right thing to do, but that's the only thing I could think of to do that would hurt her and maybe get her to think about what she did.
It was everything from I'm going to pack and live with memaw and papa to I don't like you anymore and don't want to live with you. It really made her mad even more when I ignored her when she was throwing a fit. Something set her off in DG and started the I'm going to live with memaw. I spanked her butt and finished what I was doing. We left and thought I would give her one more chance (bad idea, should've went home like I planned and had lunch and took her to school). Went to Wendy's and got lunch. She kept saying that she wanted fries and thru a fit when she didn't think she got them. Her words were you don't pay attention to me. I smacked her and took her home. I sent her up to room with no t.v. and she ate lunch in the dark. She continued with her fit so I spanked her and put her to bed. She cried and screamed and finally went to sleep. When she woke up and realized she didn't go to school, she started to cry again. She started to say I wanna go live with memaw but stopped when I told her that I wasn't going to hear it anymore and go to her room.
She's been spoiled since she was born, so we're trying to break that. It's so hard and I don't recommend anybody spoiling their kids. They'll end up like my daughter 5 yrs later trying to undue what she's used to.
Sheri, do NOT apologize to me for crashing my thread. I'm here for ya girl. U can vent here anytime. I promise.
As for what you did, perhaps she needed the rest. I mean, who knows. You are her mom and only you can decide if it was the right thing. When my kids tell me they are sick in the morning, I force them out the door, saying, if you get sick they will call and I will pick you up. You are going to at least try it out. I haven't gotten a call yet.
Just keep keeping on. Parenting is the world's hardest job. And you rarely get acknowledged for a job well done. It's hard but you can do it. I think of it this way: God gave me these three kids because they were the perfect children for me, and likewise, I am the perfect parent for them. We cannot choose our parents, but they were chosen for us. I try to keep that in mind when I'm growing frustrated. Although, lately, that's been hard. LOL
I hope tomorrow is better for you. ((HUGS)) I'm here for ya hon.
As for what you did, perhaps she needed the rest. I mean, who knows. You are her mom and only you can decide if it was the right thing. When my kids tell me they are sick in the morning, I force them out the door, saying, if you get sick they will call and I will pick you up. You are going to at least try it out. I haven't gotten a call yet.
Just keep keeping on. Parenting is the world's hardest job. And you rarely get acknowledged for a job well done. It's hard but you can do it. I think of it this way: God gave me these three kids because they were the perfect children for me, and likewise, I am the perfect parent for them. We cannot choose our parents, but they were chosen for us. I try to keep that in mind when I'm growing frustrated. Although, lately, that's been hard. LOL
I hope tomorrow is better for you. ((HUGS)) I'm here for ya hon.
Thanks honey... ((Hugs)) I'll warn you this is going to be a long post..
It's just so frustrating sometimes. It's easier with Greene here now. He can handle her better than I can, but at times he gets frustrated. It does help that he's been thru this before with his son because he has experience raising kids, but he doesn't know anything about raising a girl (no, that's not a slam on his part), but he loves her just the same.
Her father (and I will say this as nicely as I can) is just worthless. He calls once a month to see how things are going and when he does call and she's busy, he doesn't want me to get her, he just says ok and talk to you later, I dropped the child support because he wasn't paying it anyway, so what's the point... He's a 3 time felon who's in and out of jail, swears he'll clean up his act and doesn't, didn't want to babysit his own daughter because he was too busy making drug runs (pot), so I had to get a babysitter so I can work (he'd only watch her when the babysitter was on vacation), when she got hurt and needed stitches, he again was too busy with his drug runs to go to the hospital with me, he said he'd meet me there... , basically the one your mom always told you to stay away from.
I don't regret having my daughter at all, I regret having her at a young age and her having a father like him, but on the upside, she told my mom that she thinks of Greene as her step-dad. I don't wish him to be her dad, but I wish her real dad would get his act together or just leave. I don't need him in the picture if he's not gonna help, which he's not, so what's the point.
Anyway..I'm feeling little better, so I'm gonna eat supper now. Thanks for listening.
((Hugs)) I'll warn you this is going to be a long post.. It's just so frustrating sometimes. It's easier with Greene here now. He can handle her better than I can, but at times he gets frustrated. It does help that he's been thru this before with his son because he has experience raising kids, but he doesn't know anything about raising a girl (no, that's not a slam on his part), but he loves her just the same.
Her father (and I will say this as nicely as I can) is just worthless. He calls once a month to see how things are going and when he does call and she's busy, he doesn't want me to get her, he just says ok and talk to you later, I dropped the child support because he wasn't paying it anyway, so what's the point...
He's a 3 time felon who's in and out of jail, swears he'll clean up his act and doesn't, didn't want to babysit his own daughter because he was too busy making drug runs (pot), so I had to get a babysitter so I can work (he'd only watch her when the babysitter was on vacation), when she got hurt and needed stitches, he again was too busy with his drug runs to go to the hospital with me, he said he'd meet me there... , basically the one your mom always told you to stay away from.I don't regret having my daughter at all, I regret having her at a young age and her having a father like him, but on the upside, she told my mom that she thinks of Greene as her step-dad. I don't wish him to be her dad, but I wish her real dad would get his act together or just leave. I don't need him in the picture if he's not gonna help, which he's not, so what's the point.
Anyway..I'm feeling little better, so I'm gonna eat supper now. Thanks for listening.
I can't imagine it. I'm so sorry, but I'm glad you are feeling better about things. Glad she's feeling better, as well. And as always, I'm here for you. ((HUGS))
Here's my rant for the day: the internet sucks. Hmm...or maybe it's just me. I'm not sure, either way, it's very hard to tell when someone is being truthful online. You can't look into their eyes. You can't see facial expressions, or body language. There is never ending drama and there is no need for it. Cat fights, lovers quarrels, etc. What's the point?? I'm thinking of going offline for an extended period of time. I'm not sure I can do it, but that tells me there is a problem. My hubby and I have things to work out. It was clear to me last night. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells with him right now. I hate taht feeling. And it all started bc of the internet. A lot of the things that stress me out have to do with the internet. This forum, the people I talk with, etc.
the problem is I think I have found some really great people for support and encouragement. I would hate to give that up.
And as always, I'm here for you. ((HUGS))Here's my rant for the day: the internet sucks. Hmm...or maybe it's just me. I'm not sure, either way, it's very hard to tell when someone is being truthful online. You can't look into their eyes. You can't see facial expressions, or body language. There is never ending drama and there is no need for it. Cat fights, lovers quarrels, etc. What's the point?? I'm thinking of going offline for an extended period of time. I'm not sure I can do it, but that tells me there is a problem. My hubby and I have things to work out. It was clear to me last night. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells with him right now. I hate taht feeling. And it all started bc of the internet. A lot of the things that stress me out have to do with the internet. This forum, the people I talk with, etc.
the problem is I think I have found some really great people for support and encouragement. I would hate to give that up.
The internet can be a harmful thing at times, especially in relationships, you and I already know that. Even since you have stopped doing those things, he's still gonna have it in the back of his head that you're still doing it because he's at work all day and you are home with the kids. He doesn't know what you are doing or not doing. My guess it still eats at him, right?
It takes a long time to gain trust back, it's not an overnight thing. Look at Greene and I, we've both had things done to us and I've done things to him (hell I thought he was gonna throw me out when he found out about my little trist), but we've both moved on and got that stuff behind us. Once everything got out and we were open and honest with each other, our relationship grew stronger and better, but it took time.
You're relationship comes first always and forever and if you love him like you say you do, which I believe you do, everything comes second. Work on the relationship and we'll be here if you need us.
It takes a long time to gain trust back, it's not an overnight thing. Look at Greene and I, we've both had things done to us and I've done things to him (hell I thought he was gonna throw me out when he found out about my little trist), but we've both moved on and got that stuff behind us. Once everything got out and we were open and honest with each other, our relationship grew stronger and better, but it took time.
You're relationship comes first always and forever and if you love him like you say you do, which I believe you do, everything comes second. Work on the relationship and we'll be here if you need us.
Thanks, hon. And thanks to those who have checked in! I just hate having to live like this...walking on eggshells, bending over backwards to prove to him I'm not doing anything wrong. I know I put myself in this situation. I take full responsibility for that. And I realize that gaining trust is a long process. Regaining it is even longer. I just hate what I have done to us. Which is why I try to put my own desires on the back burner. I am trying to make this work. Really putting in the effort. Sometimes, though, he thinks I feel guilty for something. And in turn, takes my actions/effort the wrong way.
Oh honey..I've been there and done that. I agree with derwyddon, he doesn't mean to make you feel this why. He's got to deal with this in his own way and as you know everybody's different at dealing with things. He's doing his best, kudos for him sticking around and trying to make it work. Majority of people wouldn't even give you a second chance.
I made a point to go with Greene everywhere he went to prove to him that I was not doing anything and I was really serious about working on our relationship. At the time he wasn't working at his shop but only part time and we had things to do around the house and his mom's rental houses. I know in your situation, you can't go with Dan everywhere he goes, but maybe on the weekend, you guys could go out together, just the two of you. Taking the kids with you and doing things has a family. He should see that you are really trying to make it work.
I made a point to go with Greene everywhere he went to prove to him that I was not doing anything and I was really serious about working on our relationship. At the time he wasn't working at his shop but only part time and we had things to do around the house and his mom's rental houses. I know in your situation, you can't go with Dan everywhere he goes, but maybe on the weekend, you guys could go out together, just the two of you. Taking the kids with you and doing things has a family. He should see that you are really trying to make it work.
You're right, I can't go with him everywhere. And on the weekends, we usually do things together as a family. if he has a short errand to run, I don't. but maybe I should.
I mean, other than sitting at home with the kids, whatelse are you gonna do while he's gone, besides the usual housewife bs?
It's the little things that means the most in life. Yea he has a job and you stay home with the kids, but the more alone time you spend with him the more will will grow closer and this will be behind you.
I know you are doing everything you can, but have you made him feel special lately (yea it does go both ways)? Cook him his favorite meal, let him pick a movie or a show on t.v. and curl up with him on the couch and watch it, wear something sexy to bed, etc.
It's the little things that means the most in life. Yea he has a job and you stay home with the kids, but the more alone time you spend with him the more will will grow closer and this will be behind you.
I know you are doing everything you can, but have you made him feel special lately (yea it does go both ways)? Cook him his favorite meal, let him pick a movie or a show on t.v. and curl up with him on the couch and watch it, wear something sexy to bed, etc.
Not that I'm trying to make excuses, but there is just so much going on right now. B/w the kitchen remodel and the issue with my stepson, our kids, etc. I have called a few times today and yesterday just to say hi and to tell him I loved him. U have a point about things going both ways. I do realize that I have to do things for him. Hence the phone calls, initiating sex (which is rare for me), snuggling up to him at night when watching tv. I do those things. Maybe it's not enough. But then again, I asked him not too long ago if I was giving him enough attention, etc. He said, "oh yeah!"