Mel Def's Journal

Recommendations from Commander Keith Davis, US Navy SEAL and Kona Ironman:

1. Eliminate self-limiting thoughts. More often than not, people have preconceived notions about what is possible for them to achieve. They sell themselves short. Abolish thoughts that hold you back from achieving your true potential.

2. Optimize your skills. Everyone begins at a different place and each of us are dealt a different set of genetic cards. Use that to your advantage and optimize your assets.

3. Be willing to spend the effort and energy to be successful. Anyone can succeed if they are willing to work at it. Too many people want to reap rewards without the sacrifice that is necessary to achieve any goal.

4. Enjoy the journey. If you can enjoy the pursuit of excellence, you've got it made. Aiming to enjoy only the end result makes it impossible to endure the necessary sacrifices to achieve any goal really worth having.

5. Be a student. The more you understand about what it is you're trying to do and how to do it, the easier it is to be successful. Be a student of your passion.

6. Persevere. There are many things that can get in the way of successfully achieving any goal. You have to be willing to figure out how to get over, under, around or through those obstacles. Keep trying.

7. Develop mental toughness. It is not the physical challenges that keep men from successfully surviving the SEAL training, it is mentally giving up. You need to start believing that you can do it, you can be successful. Others have been successful before you, you can do it too.

8. Be prepared to suffer. When you are training for an event as large as a 140.6-mile triathlon, it is a long haul. There is going to be bad weather, aching body parts and times when you are just plain tired. Know that some stress, followed by rest, will make you stronger physically and mentally.

9. Take strength from others. This tip is particularly valuable for race day. Right when you are thinking things are really bad for you, look around. You'll see that others are suffering too. Knowing you're not the only one and that other people will suffer generates energy, if you're willing to accept it.

10. You must want success. Doing something that is difficult requires that you want to be successful with every fiber of your core. The intense desire to succeed helps you overcome obstacles that crush other people.

11. Avoid over-training. It is easy for highly motivated people to over-train. Achievers are often rewarded for doing more and working harder. While you must work hard and do the prescribed work, you must also rest in order to reap the benefits.
 
Hang in there, I think what you are doing is incredible!
 
The support is WONDERFUL! Thank you all...

UPDATE, I have trained Monday and today and today we practiced posing prior to training. Honestly that is the HARDEST part! I had sweat beading down my back as I stood there in my suit. I felt good and confident and I can't tell you how thankful I am to be in a band of competitors again. It is that spirit and determination that elps me in every part of my life and I want to really shine! To do that, my confidence must be built and while it is wonderful for people to compliment me, I HAVE TO FEEL LIKE THE MILLION BUCKS!

Both Sunday and today G ( Roc's wife) made happy compliments about my back. Not my lats, those still need some work but my traps and are pretty damned good if I do say so myself. Thanks GOD. G and Shirley said my abs are looking good and I felt happy and relaxed posing in front of them. They want me to succeed. I feel like a warrior going there in te early AM. I love it!

Roc told me to stay out of the gym until he says otherwise. I am only to work out with him so he can truly assess what I can handle. No diet yet either which I am enjoying for now. I even had some cottage cheese tonight because I know DAIRY won't be allowed. hahah. I am still being mostly careful- I mean at this point I have adopted the clean eating lifestyle and I am happiest that way. Pizza and bread and all of that don't hold much appeal but that darned candy and chocolate sure do. I wonder if it's possilbe to dislike sweets?

I never thought I would quit drinking alcohol and I don't miss that so I hope it becomes the same for me with sugar. Shirley says when he gives you the diet you can't eat anything not on this list. Not pepper or a vegetable not on it- nothing. I can handle it. By the time I get on the diet I will be a little bit farther along with the workouts so it will be fine. Next training day is Saturday and I feel weird about not going to the gym. Oh well. The grasshopper will listen for once and be compliant.

Thanks for the support everyone! Off to bed for me. I am going to print that wonderful NAVY SEALS info and keep it in my bag and by my side to remind me of what I am doing all this for and why I want to succeed.

Glad to belong to a community of others wanting to go the distance! I am happy we all share this passion for going beyond.
 
No diet yet... woohoo! I am being careful most days and concentrating on meal timing and what not.

This AM posing and training. NPC posing is different. I seem to want to flex and I get corrected. :) I feel so happy there with that group. I can't imagine my life without this cornerstone to cling to. I am rushing to work but wanted to update and keep account.

No working out except with Roc. So that means 3 days a week. WOW. That is pretty much making me scared but I am complying. I looked icky this am. SMOOOOOTH. That's OK. Felt strong from taking off 2 days. The girls prepping for the show on Saturday looked worn out and exhausted. Oh that body fat makes you feel SO much better. I know mental tenacity will play a big role towards the end.

I have a target date! August show!!!!! Woohoo! No cardio or diet YET but Roc warns they are coming. I am working on my emotional obstacles with food and following the plan. Patience, perserverance and focus are my mantra.

I am going to be lightning hot by the time August rolls around. :D
 
Today was pretty much one of those that started full of optimism and that was flattened by a series of annoying and upsetting events. Man alive I am deflated. I feel aggravated, tired, unproductive and just all around yuck. I can feel my brow knitted in a wrinkle inducing and unflattering way. Ew. Bad idea for those of us broaching 40.

I am training in the morning. I will get up and get there because training is the ONE area of my life I can feel good and adequate in right now. Work, love, finances... they are all upside down and skittering around on the floor like a bunch of ballbearings I keep tripping over. I am in a constant state of tension and anxiety and I feel like escaping to a beautiful beach somewhere and letting it all explode back where I left it.

Mario Andretti once said that if you're in control you aren't driving fast enough. I must be about to blow into the side barrier they way I feel right now.

That said, it is so nice to follow my trainer and not think or second guess if it's right or wrong. I just do. I have so many things to handle and decide upon and orchestrate I am just plain grateful not to have to about prepping for a show. It gives me the strength, energy and awareness to get things done on other fronts... just not today.


I am scrapping today, forgiving myself my mistakes and reminding myself how far I have come. The beauty of doing the prepping is it reminds me that it is all about the journey and the anticipation and the peaks and valleys- just like life. I am going to have days I give it my all and know it and days where I knew I could have done more and it all works out in the end. Because it is a fight for the balance and the seeking of that moment of bringing it all together and showing it and feeling proud and worthy of the recognition- even if it is just my very own and perhaps that one is the hardest earned and most difficult to come by. But I am good and getting better and I deserve this as much as anyone willing to do what it takes to have it.

That is the theme du jour I see now. There is no one on this earth that can take away my feelings of worthiness unless I grant them that permission and I simply won't. I have made it this far and I am not giving up. I am going to chew up whatever obstacles get in my way and I might squeeze out a tear or a few curse words in the process but I will not let it stop me from reaching my greatest goals and potential. All that I have dreamed thus far has come true and I am planning on dreaming bigger and better than ever! GOD has nothing but good things planned for me. There. I feel better. I just needed a pep talk.

The other beautiful thing is that my sugar free Jello has solidifed and I am going to have some now! Hooray! I really am pretty easy to please.
 
This AM waist is 27 and hips 33. I am always odd measurements. haha. Never seems like it goes to 26 and 32 just skips to the 25 and not sure if I have ever gotten below the 33 for the hips. Not that hippy and since I have been building the glutes what comes off the sides goes to the back. I won't complain about that.

Today's attitude focus:
Don't let other sense of RUSH determine your path. When I RUSH I make mistakes that cost me in every part of my life. It is better to think it through and respond instead of react.

Be loving and be forgiving. People are doing the best they can even when they hurt your feelings or get angry or ask dumb questions. They don't know any better than to do it.

Off today from the gym. Let's hope Suzie Big Butt doesn't come and get me with all this rest. I get antsy.
 
Ran the Komen this morning. It wasn't hot, in fact pretty pleasant but I struggled a bit without the practice of running for the last 2 odd weeks. Patience isn't something that comes easy to me. I need more. I have that buzzing of angry bees in my head feeling that comes with feeling impatient and negative.

It's where I am right now. This moment will pass and I will feel on top of the world again soon. MY self esteem is low, I am out of my comfort zone with all the new things at work and with training. I love the new training. It is hard but fast- isn't that how hard should be? So engrossing and consuming and painful that time seems to fly by? Except when I am running those 3 minutes on the treadmill at the 9.0 speed. Those minutes seem to crawl. Roc told me to hang on and WAIT but it is HARD HARD HARD. I feel like my body is turning to mush, not in control and anxious to see what happens. BUT I did promise myself that I would wait this time. Listen. Follow directions. He isn't going to let me turn into a flabby mushy woman. Why would he? Plus, my methodology was surely going to get me injured soon. Looking back at the tendonitis, the back strain, the chest strain... hmmm. There is no doubt I push too hard and flail about with wasted energy and while that method kept me thin it wasn't improving me any physique wise. I was stuck.


So the run sort of took it out of me today- and it really shouldn't have. I will build up the cardiovascular again, I am sure of that. I am sitting on the side of the road right now, not clear where I am heading and unsure of myself. This isn't a feeling I enjoy but one that when I push away all the crap like fear, anxiety, self doubt and impatience, is one that I grow and become better. Damn I sure have been sitting here a while though.

I can't doubt that I will be ready for August. I can't waiver in my dedication and focus and patience with the instructions given and the time that they are revealed.

Tomorrow I train. I am looking forward to it but I know Sundays are generally TOUGH days. That's OK, I am tough.

I would like to have more photos done. I wonder if Joey will do some? That will give me a goal closer than August which seems eons away. It will come together all of this. It always has and it always will as long as I don't lose sight of where I am going. :)
 
Tough doesn't cover the last 2 days grueling starts to touch it but even that isn't strong enough.

Yesterday is almost a blur and I thought he would come down a notch it being Monday- I thought WRONG.

Highlights of yesterday... round after round of 2 minute sprints at 9.0 MPH. interspersed with those GD leg extensions at 130 pounds leg presses at 300. Yes that's right. 300. I didn't know I could even do that. Crap. Then some fun squatting on the Smith with 160. Ugh. So many sets I can't tell you since at some point I was just Jello. Of course the extension machine I HATE with passion so basically when that comes into play all I can think about is how I would like to cut my legs off so they will stop hurting. See why I love this so much? It totally allows me to be the drama queen I naturally am. :D But that did smart something awful.

This morning was neverending reps day. Deadlifts. So 15 each with a 30,40, 50 lb dumbbell squatting down and bar close to shins then off to the step mill for skip a step at 10.00 for one minute NO STOPPING 10 ROUNDS. $%!@#$. I mean I hope to goodness my butt is going to turn into stone because I feel like I should be in traction right about now. There is no cheating. There is no stopping. There is no where to hide until I catch my breath. I feel like one of those fireplace bellows by then end of that. Ahhhh but we weren't done. Nope. Then it was 3 sets of walking lunges up and down counting as 1 with the 15, 12, 10. Roc told me he was going to give me a DUI I looked drunk doing those. hahha. I hope I would get one because I could see myself laying down and being still and not lugging weight. By the end of the workout I was absolutely drenched. I don't think I have ever sweat so much- not even running the Peachtree in July! I am happy- no estatic! to be of from the gym until Thursday. Hooray!

Oh and the hunger... I am SO hungry. Sore. Sleepy. He definitely has upped the game.
 
Stage II begins... enter the diet.

I still don't have the plan but it is coming today! I am excited and seeing real progress in my physique. This is the best I have ever looked and while I have eaten off plan a few times, there is no denying that there is better muscle under the fluff and I am going to a new level. It hasn't been easy but yesterday I physched myself up to give it everything I have prior to training and that helped!

I am lucky. This training is a bright spot in a tumultuous and uncertain time and I wouldn't give it up for anything. Whatever it costs, I will make sure I can pay it since it adds to everything in my life and makes me feel capable of great accomplishments. I am starting to see myself competing at National level or even more important, wanting to be in a magazine. It is my secret dream to be in Maxim. :) Who knows! I am the only thing standing in my way.
 
Day 2 of diet

Meal 1 1 c. Oats
Meal 2 20-30 g Whey + 5 g BCAA's 5 G Glutamine
Meal 3 1/2 c. broccoli 6 oz chicken 1 c. steamed rice
Meal 4 20-30 g Whey
Meal 5 10 oz tilapia 1 c. broccoli
Meal 6 20-30 g Whey + BCAA's + Glutamine

Spring Water Only to drink.

Not too bad. I can season my stuff for now but the coffee gone has been hard. I can't wait to see the results! I felt smooth and icky this AM. No Wheat bran makes me feel less wonderful but I am going to stick to this as instructed. Work out and posing this AM and going tomorrow AM and Thursday at 9 AM. I don't have to worry about food for now which is good- my mind is wracked with all other sorts of complicated stressful matters so it's nice not to think about some things. I feel like I can't get enogh rest- always so tired and I think mainly that is stress related. I would love some fun thing to look forward to but for now I don't have that. Working on my training and getting better, sticking to the diet- those things help to keep my happiness level above the dark and murky zone.


So I will concentrate on those things and how to keep myself from drowning in frustration and disappointment. So much to do and so little help to do it.
 
Looks like your training and diet are coming along quite well. Giving up the caffeine is hard. I'm giving up my favorite vehicle (Diet Cherry Pepsi) and it's tough. Only thing I'd suggest is remembering to have rest days to recover from all that hard work. That said, keep up the great work.
 
Tired. Tired. And more tired. Two days in a row of training and tomorrow left then off the rest of the week. I am going to go do light cardio on Saturday. Going so long without a workout is too much.

The workouts have been tough! The diet- well I'm hungry. The salt consumption and more carbs keeps me smooth and bloated. Ew. Today, I asked about this and Gina said that I really needed to build some muscle so STOP worrying about the weight loss. It will come. I don't have a big pile to lose and they want what I have to stay on for now and build some good base of muscle. Still I like to be lean and hard but if I am patient I will be a lot leaner and harder when I shred down. So I wait.

Tomorrow is a 9 AM training. All the girls that compete on the PRO level are in this group and I will surely have to work hard to keep up. I am already last of the 6 AM pack. Oh well. Everyone starts somewhere and eventually I will toughen and grow. I am paying my dues for now.
 
So I have been OP today. I am so tired and sore and hungry from working my butt off the last 3 days I am going to have to hit the sack early not to do real damage. I am eating cabbage and miracle noodles right now which I figured was better than chomping on anymore hard candy. Yes hard candy. Sugar. Oh what an addict I am.

No coffee today. The children are monitoring my diet! Eek. I can't get away with anything. They were off to their daddy's for the weekend and I had to pack up their movie candy out of the house. I knew it would beckon me. BUT for some reason I thought eating 12 pieces of peppermint would be OK. I didn't really but dang I have felt ravenous all day.

Somehow I am going to get this visualization right. There are girls that are going to be on that stage that didn't cheat on their diet, they gave every workout 125% and want it BAD. I want it bad, not just to place but to WIN. So translate into action. I need sleep. I need to fill up on the water and I need to stay on plan. Drinking water and going to bed EARLY. I can do this.
 
So rocky times come and go... right now the best thing going in my life besides my children who I constantly am in awe to be so fortunate to have them, is my training. I am very thankful to have met Roc and Gina and they are serving very much as my port in the storm. I feel pretty certain I wouldn't be doing good things with my health or mind if I didn't have them to be commited and rely upon.

Today I don't feel beautiful. I don't feel confident and I also feel very sorry for myself. It's so strange to look back to when I was heavy and think about my attitude. Then, I felt gorgeous and comely at times in my size 12 body and here I am a size 2 dissatisfied and unappreciative of my strengths and lines and muscles because of my fat and bloated mind. That is a powerful observance. There is so much connected to winning and succeeding with the image I hold in my mind and mine needs a overall in the diet and exercise department!

I am incredibly hard on myself as any of my friends or family would be happy to tell you. It is never enough to reach one milestone or the other, I must constantly be striving for something bigger and I spend wasted time discounting what I have done. I must have been "lucky" or there wasn't enough competition so I won by default. Those thoughts are so awful and I am praying my children dont' pick up the awful habit of not loving themselves and appreciating the things that they work hard for. This shows a serious lack of maturity on my part to be almost 40 and throw all I have achieved in some lottery of life happenstance manner. I have worked damned hard at many things and made them happen. Where are you confidence?

I am all about destruction right now but thinking of ways to get back on track. It is OK if some things aren't perfect right now and if I am in the weigh station life puts on the road, I must stop and use this time wisely to grow and not let it be wasted with frantic activity to get out of the discomfort. I am spoiling for a fight. I want to be cruel and hearltess and nasty to my loved ones who I see as having let me down when really it is ME that has let ME down. What good will that do?

Hurt and confused and feeling rejected, lonely and nothing anyone says or does seems able to knock it out of me. I went to bed at 7 PM last night, got up around 10 and puttered about and then back to bed. MY body and mind are exhausted from the last few months of struggle and second guessing and if I plan on getting better, I need to work on feeling the best I can inside. I am on the brink of making big changes, I can see and feel that. It will show on stage if I don't think myself worthy.

Some things I want to do that would help me... I really can't wait to get back to my cardio. I am missing it terribly. I need to run and feel exhilrated and free. The working out taxes my muscles but my mind needs that cardio high. Running for 2 minute sprints does not fill the same need. It sort of sucks, haha. I am aiming for photos in late June or July. I think I will be ready by then and I am sure the diet will change to shred me up more for it. I see the muscle but the extra carbs keep me from feeling defined. This is temporary so hang in there. Obviously adding them in was needed since I now have the energy to get through the workouts that I didn't when I was 1 starch a day. R and G know what they are doing. Keep my competive fire stoked and practice my posing all the time. Even when I feel " not there yet". I nail the posing before I get to my ideal and that means my mind can handle the stage and being pitted against 40 other women who worked hard and ate right. Today I am going to do lots of things to make me feel beautiful. I am going to go do some cardio ( shh, don't tell) I am going to soak in a bath, I am going to listen to great music, I am going to read Buddist quotes, I am going to smile and laugh and be proud of how far I have come and how much more I will be doing so very soon.

Feels good to let this out. I feel able to conquer the negative and get out of the funk Im in. Good. :)
 
Sometimes feeling good about being in your own skin is the toughest challenge of all, however big or small your body happens to be at the time.

And yes, writing is cathartic, as it helps letting the demons out of your head. Once outside they seem to lose their grip and seem more manageable. Stay strong and keep up the good work.
 
Thanks for the support everyone. It will be better and everyday shows improvement. I am currently adapting the mindset that I CAN handle whatever comes my way. I read Pauline Nordin's blog and that helped get my mind right. Problems should be seen as nothing more than assignments or tasks. I love how she pointed out the times that she has felt she couldn't get through training, her legs wouldn't be able to withstand anymore and yet she pulled through.

Had a good weekend. I did get out and run with my boyfriend. :) It was raining and well yes LIGHTNING but I convinced him it wasn't all that bad and we would be OK. Then it got a bit scary. Haha. But I did get a run in and it felt GOOD. And I did manage to avoid getting struck so a big plus for that.

Trained this morning with the first crew! Yes, I was not the last girl I was in the first! It felt good and it was tough but I made it and felt great. Tired today and hungry but nothing new about that. Training again on Thursday and then Sunday for the week.

I see improvement and Roc said he was WOW'ed by my back. That made me feel wonderful. That's my weak spot and it is coming in. Hooray! More positive today.
 
Take care of you

I concur with Gr8r80, you are wickedly tough on yourself. No coffee Sweetie, thats just plain cruel. I live on my beans, i'll have a second pot in your honor. Be strong (which you are) but also be kind to yourself (it is not a weakness).

Rich
 
I am curious, why are you cutting out coffee and are you on a muscle gain diet atm or weight lost? Also, why no cardio training as well beside intervals?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top