Marsia's Diary

Thanks guys, I am so relieved! I feel like I have a handle on things though, so fingers crossed it will go smoothly! I am zinging with energy and have been organizing with people all morning by email. It feels really good to finally be doing this!
 
I had a good day setting up things with the realtor and people to come fix things on the house. Then I came home after some errands and got one of the huge walls primed and am very tired and sweaty now. I am thinking over the mediation and it was definitely top 10 one of the hardest things I have ever done, like up there with the first few hours of child birth. It made me realize I am definitely in a foreign culture the way the real estate litigator was so judgy about the weirdest aspects of my decisions. I am so glad to be home and doing something normal that is just physical and that is simple and doesn't have weird ramifications that I can't quite figure out. Phew! Do you ever want to sell all your possessions and move to a tropical place and just grow fruit and forget about the world? I wonder if that is even possible to do anywhere where I could move anymore. I miss having a simple existence. I think I need to get back to that somehow.
 
Marsia said:
Do you ever want to sell all your possessions and move to a tropical place and just grow fruit and forget about the world?
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Never. Farming is hard work and if you care about the quality of your produce and not using too many pesticides it's extremely stressful and likely to fail. Not to mention that many fruits aren't annual plants so you have to invest a lot of time and money up front before can can start harvesting and selling.
I do understand craving a simpler existence. It's never realistic (because most of the people from history who lived simply also didn't have the internet or leisure time, had to eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day if they had anything to eat at all, and died of infectious diseases a lot) but I do get overwhelmed easily and think how nice it would be if overyone just did their part and didn't try to live off other people's labor. We wouldn't need nearly as many laws and paperwork and everyone could have 3-day work weeks while still having enough to live comfortably!
 
M, you will have a different life. This sounds like it will have been the most stressful time of your life & I hope it will never be worse or even close. It will be better. Sending you all of the love. You already have lots of strength xoxo
 
Thanks Llama and Cate! I was dreaming about living off the land in a permaculture forest, but Llama is right - pure fantasy! Cate, I really hope you are right, and thanks for the nice sentiments. It's so helpful when you put things in perspective. Last night K and I talked a lot about her wanting to stay here because she just keeps making really nice friends suddenly as we are leaving, and she loves her band. It's so unfair that she was lonely here until the last few months. Also we just talked about our history of being stressed out because of J, and we are both so stressed now, and it is causing some friction, so I am really glad we talked, I just wish it hadn't been until 2 am. I need to mow before it gets in the 90s today. With the humidity it's not lawn mowing weather, and everything out there looks like a jungle, and the stager and realtor are coming. Plus big branches fell in the last storm. I often wonder how I was so busy fixing this place up, and I really don't remember what I did. It seems like nature here quickly wipes out all work outside like you never did it.
 
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It's good that you and K are talking instead of letting the frustrations stew - but sleep would surely have been great as well! It's so hard to decide when to stay to keep old friendships and when to move toward ones. Especially when you've felt isolated before.
 
I was wondering how K would be taking the idea of moving as well...So too bad that she just started to find a good life there and now it will need to shift again...but that is how life goes sometimes..
I hope the lawn mowing goes ok. It is amazing how much something like that will make such a difference to the look of things. If you need a reminder of what you've been doing this past while to fix up the place you can just flip back in your journal here--you've been busy getting lots done!
I hope you find some good practical ways to simplify your life--I can imagine you would be wishing for some easy fixes when things are stressful right now, but hopefully once this period is over you will find a lifestyle that suits you. I find for me I love having a small space that is easily cared for, a lifestyle that doesn't have need of a car (easy walking distance to all my needs) and a nice garden space.
I have worked on other people's organic farms in the past and yeah, I'm with LLama in thinking that is not an easy existence! I prefer mine where if the veggies don't work out, it doesn't mean I don't make a living.
 
Thanks Llama and Liza, and thanks for bringing me back down to earth! I get so unrealistic at times!! Speaking of which, I looked up the value of our old house in CA, and it basically went up in value since we sold it more than entire amount that this house is worth. J is such an incredible moron. It made me laugh.

I think this experience has made K so resilient. She is now fantastic at making friends, way better at discerning if people are trustworthy (she had some friends who weren't at first) and just a way happier, more balanced person. It's so hard watching my kid go through so much, but seeing her more than rise to the occasion is wonderful. And you are right Liza, I do a lot, it's just I forget when the to-do list gets overwhelming! I think I'll copy you in regard to my next abode staying small and manageable!
 
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Marsia said:
I do indeed only have 30 days to get my house on the market now. I went to mediation today, and we reached a settlement that isn't totally unfair, amazingly!
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Yay! That's great news Marsia. Just think, in 4 weeks time, you will be living a completely new life! I kind of envy you that in a way, even though I know you are under pressure to get everything done. But you will!
 
Marsia said:
we reached a settlement that isn't totally unfair, amazingly!
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Good for you, all your hard work is paying off. And in my experience not totally unfair is about as good as these things get.
Marsia said:
Do you ever want to sell all your possessions and move to a tropical place and just grow fruit and forget about the world?
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Absolutely, top of my pipedream list!
Marsia said:
I wonder if that is even possible to do anywhere where I could move anymore.
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Probably not, the place would likely be hot and buggy... Though I think Quito, Ecuador might fit the bill, best climate I have ever felt and lots and lots of fresh fruit the year round.
Marsia said:
I think this experience has made K so resilient. She is now fantastic at making friends, way better at discerning if people are trustworthy (she had some friends who weren't at first) and just a way happier, more balanced person. It's so hard watching my kid go through so much, but seeing her more than rise to the occasion is wonderful.
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That is great, and I am impressed that you have the wisdom to see it.
 
I am so glad you see the funny side of J's *&#! decision to sell up & buy that house. I do think you are amazing, M.
I'm also glad that you & K got to talk out her concerns & clear the air.
Marsia said:
I think this experience has made K so resilient. She is now fantastic at making friends, way better at discerning if people are trustworthy (she had some friends who weren't at first) and just a way happier, more balanced person. It's so hard watching my kid go through so much, but seeing her more than rise to the occasion is wonderful. And you are right Liza, I do a lot, it's just I forget when the to-do list gets overwhelming! I think I'll copy you in regard to my next abode staying small and manageable!
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& I love this!
If I could magic myself into a lovely little cottage that we both love, within walking distance of most things in our local town with a small easily manageable garden I would do it tomorrow. I only want to move one more time.
 
Emilyrose said:
Yay! That's great news Marsia. Just think, in 4 weeks time, you will be living a completely new life! I kind of envy you that in a way, even though I know you are under pressure to get everything done. But you will!
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Thanks Em! It's exciting, but also a bit overwhelming!! I hope you find a way to do some big, fun adventures soon, too!!!
alligatorob said:
Good for you, all your hard work is paying off. And in my experience not totally unfair is about as good as these things get.

Absolutely, top of my pipedream list!

Probably not, the place would likely be hot and buggy... Though I think Quito, Ecuador might fit the bill, best climate I have ever felt and lots and lots of fresh fruit the year round.

That is great, and I am impressed that you have the wisdom to see it.
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Not totally unfair is more than I expected, so I'll take it!! I just looked up pictures of Quito - it's gorgeous. Ecuadorian fruit trees, here I come!
Cate said:
I am so glad you see the funny side of J's *&#! decision to sell up & buy that house. I do think you are amazing, M.
I'm also glad that you & K got to talk out her concerns & clear the air.

& I love this!
If I could magic myself into a lovely little cottage that we both love, within walking distance of most things in our local town with a small easily manageable garden I would do it tomorrow. I only want to move one more time.
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Wow, thanks Cate! I just love irony. It usually makes me laugh. It was so good to talk about mine and K's relationship. She had some misconceptions, and so did I, and we both feel even closer now! I hope you get the perfect snug little cottage and garden - that would be so awesome!

Today I felt like Fred Astaire in "Singing in the Rain". I had just got the lawn mower out when it started to sprinkle, and it's been doing that for days where it doesn't really rain, so I kept mowing, and slowly it became a downpour, which felt so nice. It was actually cool for once! For some reason the wet grass didn't even clog up the mower or stall it out, and I got the front lawns mowed in the nicest downpour. New favorite thing! I also painted until I ran out of all the paint in the house that could be used as primer, so it was a nice productive day. I was going to do a bunch more, but after doing the dishes, I conked out for the day. I think I'll turn in early and do it all again tomorrow... I'm down 7 pounds in total now. This is day 2 of the month I have to get everything done. If I keep going like this, I have a good chance of getting it all done in time!
 
I'd be scared of shorting out the mower (but I guess you have a decent one). Other than that working in a downpour sounds wonderful right now! When I was a teen helping out in the fields in the summer sometimes we'd be in full rain gear and it was kind of cozy to be dry while it was pouring down if it was cold but it was much more fun - and less smelly/sweaty - to be soaking wet (with boots full of water) and working in the warm rain.
 
Down 7 pounds, getting the mowing done while feeling like Fred Astaire, and getting all that painting done! Good job!
 
Aw, thanks everyone! Llama, your experiences helping on the farm make me feel itchy. They remind me of helping out on a friend's farm haying, but I really love when you talk about them. I did Fred as if he was flipping the push mower around the corner while glorying in raindrops. Not today though. Today was more a Bob Marley, "96 Degrees in the Shade" type day. I mowed the back yard which had grown like a meadow, which it sort of is. It took me 4 times because I didn't do good in the heat, but that's done now so the realtor can come with some plant person and look at all the great plants in the flower beds. The plant person knows what they are called and can help make the listing really nice. I just need to mow the side yard tomorrow. That's probably only a little more than a quarter acre so not too bad, and then I can quick clean house because the stager is coming. She won't stage our house because we'll be living in it and she has a policy against staging where people live because she thinks they'll wreck her furniture. So I put all the nicest furniture in the basement already, and I hope they don't want it upstairs again. So now in addition to everything else, I need to stage our house that is in all different states of being packed up, and our furniture from CA does not match this house in any way. The house is slightly formal and beachy, and our furniture is eclectic modern and fun. Oh, well, nothing I can do about this. But it adds a whole other layer to packing that I really did not plan for. The video the staging company sent me was about getting everything "white glove ready". I am so not that type of person. I like casual and welcoming.

I'm going to sleep early so I can get up super early and tackle a bunch of stuff before all the "white glove" type people come and inspect my house and yard. Wish me luck.
 
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White glove people, staging....EEK!
Sending you all of the patience, all of the luck & lots of strength & love!
 
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