Marsia's Diary

[Marsia]

Wow! Go my turbo chook friend! xoxo

Thanks Cate! I think my turbo engine ran out of gas a little. It's hard to keep motivated doing painting so many days in a row, so yesterday we went to the bookstore and I found a book by a wonderful psychologist I listen to on YouTube who co-wrote a book with his Buddhist class co-teacher who is a medical doctor. It's a book on all the amazing research on the brain and how that intersects with Buddhism and psychology. I am going to get the book after I finish painting and packing up the house. It took about a day to finish packing up that room, so I am a little behind, but I got about half of the taping done last night. I have to keep positive about mediation and keep on chugging along on the house.

I am glad that the house is comfortable when not working. My place is terrible in heat, but it doesn't get too hot too often (though we are coming up to a heat wave that I am dreading!)

Such a great way to get into shape while getting stuff done at the same time!

That all sounds delicious. Good for you only having a small portion of the brownies--definitely stronger than I am!

I really hope you dodge the heat wave. It's been better here thank goodness. I really like losing weight by getting practical stuff done. It's nice and motivating for me. I am lucky that sugar isn't usually my biggest weakness. I am more of a carbs mixed with fats snacker most of the time.

Hey Marsia, I won't comment much on your J thing, except to say I am impressed with your strong and logical approach to dealing with it. And agree that turkey vultures are a much better option! One day it will all be in your long past, and you seem to be doing the right things to make that day happen.

I have always been interested in insects, really fascinating creatures. And I appreciate your daddy long legs picture, I like spiders. However:

I could do without. When I was a kid we did not spray for bugs and I got used to seeing lots and lots of roaches, Florida and Louisiana have no shortage. But never did like the big flying ones, we called them palmetto bugs.

Thanks Rob! The J thing still completely shocks me. It's going to be beyond wonderful when this is behind us. The flying cockroaches are such a pain if they get in, I thoroughly agree. I like the name palmetto bugs.

Even Roadrunner takes a break every so often, haha!

Great work on all the lifting and getting stronger arms.

Thanks Em! Today will be another turbo day, I am hoping! It's nice having something that automatically tones up my arms.

I am feeling a little daunted that I might only have a month to fix up the house and get it on the market. I am a little freaked out at all the drastic changes that will potentially be happening all at once, and I wish I had gotten way more done this last year so I had more time to prepare for that now. I'm really trying to maintain weight and am doing pretty well this week food-wise.

 

[liza3]

am feeling a little daunted that I might only have a month to fix up the house and get it on the market.

I think moves often feel like that--no matter how much you try and get done beforehand there always seems to be the sudden rush/panic at the end. I know your situation is different in that there has been a lot of uncertainty depending on other factors. I think you've done amazing in the amount you've gotten done this past while. Give yourself a pat on the back!

 

[Llama]

It's been a wild year and the fact that you found the time and energy to improve a house on top of it all is impressive. I'm sure the law of diminishing return applies here and the part you've already done is way more important than whatever you might be able to do still with more time and resources.

 

[Marsia]

I think moves often feel like that--no matter how much you try and get done beforehand there always seems to be the sudden rush/panic at the end. I know your situation is different in that there has been a lot of uncertainty depending on other factors. I think you've done amazing in the amount you've gotten done this past while. Give yourself a pat on the back!

Thanks Liza! You guys are right - there's always way more you'd want to do than you have time for. The uncertainty drives me nuts because you can't plan around it, but then I find out everyone expected this to be over soon and were just too busy to tell me. This whole divorce process needs to be demystified, but then I guess it's different for different cases and in different places. But it would be so nice to know what in the heck to expect generally.

It's been a wild year and the fact that you found the time and energy to improve a house on top of it all is impressive. I'm sure the law of diminishing return applies here and the part you've already done is way more important than whatever you might be able to do still with more time and resources.

Thanks Llama, you are so right about the wild year! I sometimes I forget all the weird stuff we've been up against because people expect me to have everything all neat and tidy and already handled. They don't say that exactly, they just look surprised that I haven't anticipated things and gotten a good professional job, got the house ready to sell, gotten everything packed up, ... I think my property is too big and unruly for one person to keep nice and I spend a lot of time doing things like helping K figure out where to go to college and figuring out where we should live next. So there are lots of messes to clean up like the wood chip piles are still in the driveway, for one tiny example out of many. I know things will work out, but I can't really see how at the moment.

I am painting the room above the entry now, and it has super high ceilings, so I'll forget and look over the stair rail down to the ground and panic myself. It's going slowly because I don't want to get vertigo and get dizzy up on the high ladder. But it already looks nicer with one section in primer. Having white next to that weird tan makes it look dirty orange. Wow, will I be glad when it's gone. Anyway, I so didn't want to paint today, but the prospect of seeing the transformation got me motivated. I realize I need a long term motivation like this for weight loss. It's hard to do every day like painting is, but if I have some vision for how I want to look or feel, I think I'll be way more consistent. Maybe I can find a good pic of me back when I was 170 last time I lost weight on the forum. It will remind me of how good that felt!!

 

[alligatorob]

I'm really trying to maintain weight and am doing pretty well this week food-wise.

Good for you!

I wish I had gotten way more done this last year

Don't we all...

I like the name palmetto bugs.

One more cockroach story. When I was about 12 I was a scuba diver, that was back in the day of the big double hose single stage regulators, like Mike Nelson on Sea Hunt used. I was down about 50 feet in the Gulf of Mexico and a really big one ran out of the regulator hose and into my mouth. I've always thought that would be a good open water test... LOL, if you can keep your cool and survive that one...

 

[Cate]

Oh, M. It feels like we are meant to know how everything works without being told anything. I often say "Oh, my ESP wasn't working". How can anyone have expected you to have the house ready for sale when you had no idea when that would happen &, as far as I know, you were not provided with unlimited money to spend to pay someone else to do it?
You have done a fantastic job & don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Eating as healthily as you can while you have so much to cope with is admirable xoxo
Rob- Yowsers! I just shuddered!

 

[Emilyrose]

I agree with what Cate said. You need to save money for the court stuff so all of the renovation of the house for the sale is left to you to do on a minimal budget. You are doing fantastic with it all. I can honestly feel from your posts how much you have to corrale yourself into action and give yourself credit for that!

 

[Marsia]

Rob, that's the most disgusting cockroach story I have ever heard - like something from a really disturbing dream that would seem impossible in real life. Ick-factor of 10/10!!! I remember those scuba systems - I learned with one of those, too!

Cate, I love your expression that your ESP isn't working - I will borrow that!! We are getting by on what one person would make working at a cafe, but I am very frugal, so I haven't minded until now because now I have so many inexpensive quick fixes for the house, but limited time to save up to do them. Thanks for all the encouragement - it's very appreciated!!

Thanks Em, I really really have to force myself to focus on all the tasks and find ways to enjoy them because most of them wear me out doing them so fast. I think it's good practice for me learning to be more disciplined though. I get proud of what I accomplished after I am done, which really helps. Also you hit the nail on the head - I can either pay my lawyers or fix up the house, but not both. So I just have to surrender to the situation and not think about it too hard.

We dyed hair together this evening, and I am beat from painting. I got a lot done, but it's a massive room and I still have 2/3rds of the primer coat to go.. I may have a less intensive day tomorrow if my back is still cranky. Picked the first figs from the tree today. They're still a little unripe - I have to pick them that way before all the birds get them. The tree is so covered in figs this year from me fertilizing them last year. I need to go for some walks where there are elderberry bushes, too. I think some are ripening already, and I love them in pies.

 

[Llama]

I think a lot of people assume that what they know is common knowledge. They forget they may have had a lifelong interest in that area and then maybe added formal training in it so there's a reason they can make a living off it

 

[liza3]

That on-going painting would exhaust me too. There is something about painting--all that arm stretching, bending, meticulous work that is quite wearing. I do enjoy the results, but it is too bad that there is such a time pressure for you.
Nice one on getting the figs before the birds take them!

 

[Emilyrose]

I hope your hair turned out nice! That's lovely to have your own figs from the garden.

 

[Cate]

I haven't done much painting in my life but found it exhausting. Anything where I have to stretch up is so hard for me. You are doing an amazing job, M & I hope in your next house, which will be your home you will not need to do too much hard physical work inside to make it how you want it. Fast forward to your happy place
Dyeing your hair is a lovely mother/daughter thing to do together. I hope you beat the birds to most of the figs. The birds got all of our laurel berries this year & most of our mountain pepper berries. I hope they enjoyed them!

 

[Marsia]

I think a lot of people assume that what they know is common knowledge. They forget they may have had a lifelong interest in that area and then maybe added formal training in it so there's a reason they can make a living off it

Yes, I think that is what's happening. They are also so swamped. I sometimes get emails from 5 in the morning or super late on weekends. The litigator really was taking me as a favor because she has a teen daughter and just went through a divorce herself. She is one of the top in her field in the whole state, and I know she doesn't usually deal with such small potatoes. So I am lucky, but it's still stressful.

That on-going painting would exhaust me too. There is something about painting--all that arm stretching, bending, meticulous work that is quite wearing. I do enjoy the results, but it is too bad that there is such a time pressure for you.
Nice one on getting the figs before the birds take them!

It's so frustrating because if I didn't have a frozen shoulder, things would go so much faster, and I'd be way less stiff and achy, but on the other hand, the stretching is actually helping the frozen shoulder somewhat, so it's free therapy in a way. I don't do well with time pressure - it makes me a bit nuts because missing deadlines makes me feel totally out of control. I have had to pause and meditate lots to calm down about the silly deadlines. The figs are so good this year!

I hope your hair turned out nice! That's lovely to have your own figs from the garden.

Our hair dyes both came out nice. I did miss little spots on both our heads, but it's not noticeable to anyone but us. I don't like the fumes, so it's really nice when I finally do get around to doing it because it usually really needs it. I should take a picture inside the leaves of the fig tree. It looks like a stash of Christmas ornaments in there there are so many figs!

I haven't done much painting in my life but found it exhausting. Anything where I have to stretch up is so hard for me. You are doing an amazing job, M & I hope in your next house, which will be your home you will not need to do too much hard physical work inside to make it how you want it. Fast forward to your happy place
Dyeing your hair is a lovely mother/daughter thing to do together. I hope you beat the birds to most of the figs. The birds got all of our laurel berries this year & most of our mountain pepper berries. I hope they enjoyed them!

I agree about how tiring painting is, especially if the ceiling is really tall or you have to work in weird positions. I am definitely getting a workout. I have new muscle bulges in my forearms. Thanks for nice compliments!! I am looking forward to fixing up a house I actually get to live in once it's fixed up - what a novel idea! I looked at the real estate where we'll be moving today and hope I get to visit there soon. Too bad about the birds getting almost all of your berries. Do you have cheese cloth or shade cloth you could put over the bushes to save a little for you next year? I tried that with a fruit tree in CA, and it worked well.

I decided to relax a lot today and just get organized as far as paperwork. I did some housework and rested my arms, which really needed that. It was a 2 sitting meditation day, and I may do another quick sit and a little yoga before bed. Not sure if this is the calm before the storm or what, but I am glad I listened to my body and didn't work out my arms anymore.

 

[Cate]

Our laurel berry trees are too big to put netting over, but I think I'll do that next year with the mountain pepper berry trees. The birds have never stripped them before. They must have been very hungry as they're very spicy!
I'm glad you had a more relaxing day xo

 

[Llama]

Working overhead is stupid hard on the neck and shoulders - and when you try to spare those the lower back gets hit instead. So I'm glad your taking breaks rather than ruining your body.

 

[liza3]

I decided to relax a lot today and just get organized as far as paperwork. I did some housework and rested my arms, which really needed that. It was a 2 sitting meditation day, and I may do another quick sit and a little yoga before bed.

Sounds like a really good day!

 

[Marsia]

Thanks everyone! And thanks Llama for confirming about why I either have sore arms and shoulders or a sore back. I will be sure to do more shoulder and neck relaxation exercises, because I do indeed only have 30 days to get my house on the market now. I went to mediation today, and we reached a settlement that isn't totally unfair, amazingly! The lawyers all talked together a lot because this case was so unusual. So now I need to pack up a house and make everything look good, and there are all these other divorce related things to take care of, as well. I need to think all this out tonight and set the alarm for really early each day and get all the projects done. I am tempted to start tonight, but I am also completely overwhelmed and exhausted from mediation. Maybe I'll meditate and see how I feel.

 

[Cate]

Oh, wow! I started sending you a private message as I sensed something was happening but decided to wait a while to see if you posted. I'm excited for you! I know it must feel daunting but now you have a better idea of how your future is shaping. Good things are coming M! I hope you can meditate & get a really good night's sleep xoxo

 

[Marsia]

Wow, thanks Cate!!! I am so tired, so I think I'll conk out now. I just got the most massive to-do list organized and emails written to all sorts of people. So completely tired now! xoxo back!!

 

[Llama]

Congratulations on getting past mediation! I know you can knuckle down and get incredible amounts done in a limited amount of time: while it must suck now it'll feel so much better just a month from now.