Marsia's Diary

Petal001 said:
One thing I have noticed from reading all your diaries is my life feels pretty boring .
Click to expand...
:p You must not read my diary. I am the homebody to end all homebodies.
 
You guys are not a gasbag, and not boring!!! I love hearing about both your lives!!! And living life is in the details, not in taking big exciting adventures all the time, I think. I agree, LaMa, I am a homebody of epic proportions, too! But I live with 2 extroverts, so we go out quite a bit, and I am working on my social anxiety by joining in as much as I can. It is getting way better lately. I think part of that is sharing here so I can see that I do have things to talk about even if only little details that make me happy. Hope you have a lovely weekend away next week, Petal!!

I weighed in this morning and am down a pound, at 196.6 this morning, so 22.4 pounds lost so far. I have been laying in bed relaxing all my muscles in the mornings before it is time to get up, and maybe that helped? Who knows, but I also have mostly been eating soup and having bubbly water for snacks and my fattening smoothie when I am really craving things. That probably helped.

One thing I have been thinking about is that we measure our progress by numbers on the scale, but the numbers really aren't our real goals. Like I want to feel energetic and have my body feel like me again, and that is probably my real goal, and I am starting to feel some of that already.

What do you all view as your real goals?
 
I love being at home too. It's my favourite place. I'm not an introvert, nor am I an extrovert. I'm a mix of the two, depending on the day & the company. I agree with you Marsia that sharing here helps with social anxiety.
Well done on yet another lb lost & 22.4 down! :D
I like your real goal Marsia.
I want to feel slim again & not be self-conscious about my body. I learned to love my body, even with its imperfections when I was 9 kg lighter than I am now. It really did give me confidence. I want that feeling back.
 
I like what you wrote for your real goal, too, Cate! I know what you mean about feeling confident when feeling yourself again physically. I am learning to like my body even though it is under a layer of flab. It seems sad about the flab, too!

I feel like where we live is my own little place on earth. The second I saw the property it felt like home. I didn't tell anyone in case the sale fell through, but I felt like running up and hugging every tree when I saw this place. I'm frequently still in awe that we live here.

This next week I want to get a ton of housework and yard work done. I have been very introspective and haven't been getting stuff done. I really want to change that and take full advantage of the days before it gets cold and rainy here.
 
Marsia said:
One thing I have been thinking about is that we measure our progress by numbers on the scale, but the numbers really aren't our real goals. Like I want to feel energetic and have my body feel like me again, and that is probably my real goal, and I am starting to feel some of that already.
Click to expand...
True words. I want to feel strong and be able to wear clothes I like instead of taking what sort of kind of fits. For my shoulders and boobs to fit into regular blouses I have to be slimmish for my build. The stores with quality clothing here tend to lean more Italian in there sizing and I´m sick of cheap, throw-away items.
Marsia said:
I feel like where we live is my own little place on earth. The second I saw the property it felt like home. I didn't tell anyone in case the sale fell through, but I felt like running up and hugging every tree when I saw this place. I'm frequently still in awe that we live here.
Click to expand...
That´s fantastic. Feeling like you belong is amazing. It´s what I had with this entire city :D
 
Good morning . I like all your goals .
I wrote out my goals ages ago and have them beside my bed so I'll write them out now for you seeing as I have not read them in a while
1. Find nicer clothes2. Lower BP. 3. Lower cholesterol. 4. Not compare how I look to others . 5. Like what I see in the mirror . 6. Not avoid photographs . 7. Feel more confident .

I too am neither an introvert or extrovert . I like peaceful times but I love talking too . I used to do lots more in my life but think I'm going through a period of impending empty nest syndrome .
I probably should write more in the diary but I'm private really and feel the diaries are too public. Have you ever noticed how many views compared to messages .
 
Petal001 said:
I probably should write more in the diary but I'm private really and feel the diaries are too public. Have you ever noticed how many views compared to messages .
Click to expand...
That´s the internet. It makes it easier to find support and like-minded people but you have to be aware of how much private information you want to share. Everyone has to find their own balance there.
 
I used to feel that way about sharing anything much in my diary. I don't worry any more. I am much more careful on Facebook.
 
LaMaria said:
True words. I want to feel strong and be able to wear clothes I like instead of taking what sort of kind of fits. For my shoulders and boobs to fit into regular blouses I have to be slimmish for my build. The stores with quality clothing here tend to lean more Italian in there sizing and I´m sick of cheap, throw-away items.

That´s fantastic. Feeling like you belong is amazing. It´s what I had with this entire city :D
Click to expand...
I really agree about wearing clothes you love. I feel so good when I fit in the clothes that really feel like they fit my personality. I have clothes that cover up the overweight places and look ok, but that's not the same at all. I can't wait for my chest to be normal size again. Now that my arms are slimming down, I am hoping my chest is the next to go!

That must be so amazing walking around an entire city feeling like you belong! I feel like that in the wild places here. I liked living in Boston and felt like that there, too, so I do know what you mean. I lived near a college of music and loved hearing all the songs pouring out of the windows in the neighborhood.
 
Petal001 said:
Good morning . I like all your goals .
I wrote out my goals ages ago and have them beside my bed so I'll write them out now for you seeing as I have not read them in a while
1. Find nicer clothes2. Lower BP. 3. Lower cholesterol. 4. Not compare how I look to others . 5. Like what I see in the mirror . 6. Not avoid photographs . 7. Feel more confident .

I too am neither an introvert or extrovert . I like peaceful times but I love talking too . I used to do lots more in my life but think I'm going through a period of impending empty nest syndrome .
I probably should write more in the diary but I'm private really and feel the diaries are too public. Have you ever noticed how many views compared to messages .
Click to expand...
I love goal #4 especially! I started to do that and feel a lot better! 5 and 6 are still hard for me, but I am getting there, too! What do you think about the idea of accepting yourself as you are even before any weight loss?

I used to be half introvert, half extrovert, and feel like I am slowly getting back to that. I do love time alone and really need it to recharge though, so am probably an introvert at heart.

When I imagine my daughter leaving for college, I tend to tear up. I can't imagine how you are feeling. Hopefully you can find nice things to do after work and on weekends that are not too much of a drive once your daughter leaves home. Are there things you wish you could do if you had more time? I have a massive list of them and hope I can dive into them once my daughter moves away.

The internet is weird. I don't feel like I can write much in Facebook, but here I feel like we all support each other, so I write more freely with a little editing for safety reasons.
 
I was grouchy today. I felt like overeating, but didn't, so it came out in my mood. Sunday my daughter was at a nice friend's house from an old school where I liked my daughter's friend's mom. However, I felt very uncomfortable with a lot of the moms who were just so different from me and kind of competitive in an "I'm such a good mom, and you're not quite" kind of way. So I really didn't want to, but to be polite, had to talk to a bunch of these moms at the end of the play date when we were picking up our kids. I did ok, but sort of stuttered talking to one particular mom who makes me very nervous, and she got snippier back when she saw how nervous I get talking to her. Sigh, I thought I didn't have to deal with this particular group of people again. But I did much better than I used to.

Today I felt sort of rundown and also had to spend a lot of time taking my mom to the doctors. So when I got home, I prepped a lot of veggies for the week and that felt really good and got me a little more relaxed and grounded. My back has been twinging for the last week. I need to do gentle stretches tonight and go sit in the sun tomorrow.
 
I have felt a bit grouchy today too, Marsia. It's that time of the year when too much is on at the same time & I get overloaded. I didn't sleep well last night. I don't feel like socialising & need some home time. Hugs to you, Marsia. I could talk to you anytime. I like this supportive place, xoxo
 
Thanks Cate! That means a lot!! Nice to have a sister in grouchiness!

I think that is what happened with me, too. The whole weekend was non-stop going places, and I really wanted to relax and hang out with my daughter who has had so much homework all week that I was hoping to exercise with her in nature and get some quality time in. Instead it was just frantically driving her through weekend tourist traffic all sorts of places. My husband tends to book the weekends full of stuff for her to do, and she really needs some down time. He has this life style where he barely sleeps and I'm pretty sure he forgets that kids need sleep and relaxation. So this week I am going to get my bike out and do some bike rides with my daughter after school so we can get some exercise in!

Hope you get a really great night's sleep tonight and some nice down time!

I really like this supportive place, too! xxoo
 
You´d be well within your rights to tell your husband if he plans all these things for your kid he´s the one who needs to take her to them.
 
Sometimes reading here is like reading about myself with regards to the mums and to thevlack of time . Last night was all homework in our house . I didn’t even get to cook a proper meal except I did make my daughter something nutritious after school . I need to now plan more . I found myself gettIng frustrated with her and everyone else .
Downtime is important for kids for sure and adults .

Marsia u will respond another time on what I might like to do in the future .
 
LaMaria said:
You´d be well within your rights to tell your husband if he plans all these things for your kid he´s the one who needs to take her to them.
Click to expand...
I think I may do that again soon! I actually coached my daughter this morning to talk to him about back to back booking her music lessons, because then she doesn't get home until 7:30 at night. If he hears it from both of us, he will listen. He can be like a soccer mom on too much espresso if he isn't kept in check! On the other hand, he is a great dad as far as being there for her, so we try to be somewhat patient with him.
 
Petal001 said:
Sometimes reading here is like reading about myself with regards to the mums and to thevlack of time . Last night was all homework in our house . I didn’t even get to cook a proper meal except I did make my daughter something nutritious after school . I need to now plan more . I found myself gettIng frustrated with her and everyone else .
Downtime is important for kids for sure and adults .
Click to expand...
I find myself doing that, too, getting frustrated with my daughter when I really need to just plan things out better so things don't get so hectic. Mine is very day dreamy and procrastinates doing homework, so if I don't plan around that, we end up staying up way, way past her bedtime. One thing that works well for me is telling her that we will have to get up early to study if she can't fit it in in the evenings. That seems to really motivate her, as she hates just getting up at the regular time for school. (Also if I hurry her, it frazzles her, and she goes even slower, so I have to plan around that, too.) I have frozen not-too-bad-for-you-foods for evenings like the one you are describing, which makes them happy to have semi-healthy junk food (if there is such a thing).

I never would have guessed that being a mom would entail so much strategic thinking. I think there should be a mom-themed board game or computer game with the daily puzzles you have to work out, like you have 20 minutes to get to the bus stop and your kid has not washed up, gotten dressed, or eaten, and there is a test today in school that your kid forgot to tell you about. There should be random bonus points for finding the missing earring or favorite sock, and points docked for not remembering to do the laundry with the uniform in it that you need for the game, for having a sink overflowing with dishes, meals that don't have all the food groups, etc. And there should be rewards like bubble baths that give you energy boosts and spa days that give you super powers!

Anyway, hope tonight is much less hectic and that you get to sit down and enjoy each other's company!!!
 
I think there is a market for that game, Marsia. Go for it!
I think we should all have a chill night tonight. I'm having a stay at home day tomorrow :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top