Cate
Long term member
I love that you can adjust your thinking depending on different outcomes. Who knows, he may see sense.
Marsia's Diary
- Thread starter Marsia
- Start date
Wow, that's so funny that this rainbow swamp thing occurs all over the place! Thanks for the confirmation. I have been especially massaging my neck and arms, and wow, is that helping!
That would be so nice meditating in a group of humans and dogs!!
Thanks Cate! I am getting pretty good at being in limbo. If J sees sense, it's because his lawyers help him to, and he doesn't override them. Hopefully that will be the case!I love that you can adjust your thinking depending on different outcomes. Who knows, he may see sense.
The last few days I've been thinking about what to focus on while in limbo. I am doing my shoulder exercises and doing little meditations to get calmer. It's so cold out, I need to do treadmill because my outdoor excursions don't really count for good exercise. I keep obsessing about finding perfect houses for any budget where we'll be moving, and it's actually helpful. I have a pretty good idea of the more historic homes in safe neighborhoods now and of where good houses with bigger properties are. I do think it's a form of self-soothing - even if we don't have much money, we'll be ok, and I can prove it to myself by knowing where we can move for each budget scenario. So I am not going to reign in my house hunting obsession yet because my arm doesn't allow me to do much physical work, and I just feel like pampering myself with the massage gun on my sore muscles and researching on the internet. Next research project is figuring out how to teach our positive psychology class.
I haven't felt like eating much the last few days and have just done simple things like kielbasa and roasted red pepper sandwiches. Our stomachs really like little meals. It's nice being really self indulgent.
I always think that 'the money will come' and it's been a very useful tool for me and probably the thing I've manifested the most successfully in my life so far. I remember being in dire straits after packing in a job and selling loads of my stuff - my TV, my books, I can't remember what else but I was trying to get cash any way I could - and I moved home with no prospects really. I got a call a couple of weeks after I moved home from a recruiter and the money they were offering was 35k more than what I'd been paid in the job I'd just left. It was a temp contract but at the time, I couldn't believe my luck. The money will come.
So keep imagining a home that will make both you and K happy and where you will feel comfortable and safe. It will all work out for you both. Trust me.
So keep imagining a home that will make both you and K happy and where you will feel comfortable and safe. It will all work out for you both. Trust me.
I'll have to try the confrey cream. I haven't heard of that. The pt exercises are getting a little easier and not as painful. I'm having trouble deciding whether to live in town with a little yard and a nice fixed up house I won't have to worry about repairing much or get more land and a more beat up house. I'd like to have a massive garden and maybe even chickens for the eggs, but I don't know if I am getting too old for that sort of thing and I should just get a good paying job and not worry about growing my own food. Every news thing I read points to food prices continuing to go up, so I am leaning toward the bigger property, but then K wants to live closer to civilization and it would save money if she and maybe a college housemate or two would want to live with me while in college. We have where we want to live picked out, but I have no idea about lifestyle. I'd love to just go for it with a big property, but seeing how one frozen shoulder makes doing manual labor impossible with that arm, I am hesitating. It is wonderful to dream, but knowing what to do practically in changing times is hard for me.
Thanks Em! I know you are right and have to keep having faith in the universe. So far amazing synchronicities have happened that literally kept K and me from being homeless and penniless, and I need to trust in that more!
K finally finished last semester's work. I let her have an extension because she was on a call with her best friend, and I let them talk for 7 hours. Her best friend is in K's old private school where all the kids who want good grades are grossly overworked and depressed, and her best friend rarely has time to call. The school is transitioning into an International Baccalaureate program, and the teachers just dump lists of new requirements on the kids without actually teaching them any differently. I wrote a really critical review of the school, and am thinking of writing them directly once we no longer need them to give us high school transcripts.
I did treadmill last night and feel so much better today. I want to be sure to do that every day now that it's so cold out. I am still in lazy mode sitting around massaging my painful muscles, but I want to ease out of that and get into good shape next. I need to be sure to do yoga today.
It's really nice that you feel you have options for housing. That is great. One thing I would consider in your situation is how you would feel in a place if K moves out (unless of course you wouldn't mind moving again.)
It's amazing, too, how much food you can grow in a small space...I know I used to dream of land but now I would like to stay in a town setting where I can walk to everything but also have a fair sized garden. I would probably still move to land but only if it were in an intentional community. I wouldn't want to be on my own on land. I would get too spooked out and lonely, but I know everyone is different!
It's amazing, too, how much food you can grow in a small space...I know I used to dream of land but now I would like to stay in a town setting where I can walk to everything but also have a fair sized garden. I would probably still move to land but only if it were in an intentional community. I wouldn't want to be on my own on land. I would get too spooked out and lonely, but I know everyone is different!
The plants that take a lot of space to grow (potatoes, cabbage, onions, grains) are generally so cheap there's no way it's going to be worth your while growing your own when you're working full-time unless you use very specific varieties or want to know for certain that your food is organic and don't trust Big Farma to do what they say they do.
Not yet at least!
Cate
Long term member
Personally, I would go for a place in town. As Liza said you do not need a big yard to have a very productive garden. Whatever you do workwise you will also be able to supplement what you can grow by shopping at farmers' markets & supporting local people.
Thanks everyone! I came to a similar conclusion of getting some land, but not too much. I do love having a private space that is full of nature, but it can back up to a woods or something nice like that and I'lll be a happy camper. I also agree about not biting off more than I can chew. And having a house that doesn't need fixing up too much should be a big priority. I am lucky we found a place where we have options. It's been really good to think about this practically, and everyone's feedback really helps!
K finished last semester so we're taking off a couple of days. Yesterday we saw The Boy and The Heron by Miyazaki, and it was spellbinding and beautiful. Also went clothes shopping for K while we were out, and she got some really fun cargo pants and a few nice tops. Today is a take it easy day at home to get the house nice again. We had popcorn at the movies, and my weight was already up. I need to go get a ton of veggies and mostly eat that. The pt is amazing. Last session he got all the vertebrae in my neck back in place, and I didn't even know that they were out of place. The shoulder has some wiggle like a normal shoulder now. Going to pt is a mixture of dread and relief. It hurts in the short term, but I can tell it is really helping and I can now put cups into the upper kitchen cabinets again without my other hand helping. I have a new not as painful exercise, so that's good. Also the pt did discover that there is a nerve pinching, but it's not too bad.
So things are good generally. I do have to call J about trust stuff that he isn't doing. It will be hard not to tell him that I plan to hire a trust attorney and have him prosecuted if he doesn't stop messing with the estate. I need to be calm and patient and not give up my strategy at all. I'd better get some meditation in today. The yoga has been going well. I found several poses that help with the shoulder, and the pt confirmed this.
K finished last semester so we're taking off a couple of days. Yesterday we saw The Boy and The Heron by Miyazaki, and it was spellbinding and beautiful. Also went clothes shopping for K while we were out, and she got some really fun cargo pants and a few nice tops. Today is a take it easy day at home to get the house nice again. We had popcorn at the movies, and my weight was already up. I need to go get a ton of veggies and mostly eat that. The pt is amazing. Last session he got all the vertebrae in my neck back in place, and I didn't even know that they were out of place. The shoulder has some wiggle like a normal shoulder now. Going to pt is a mixture of dread and relief. It hurts in the short term, but I can tell it is really helping and I can now put cups into the upper kitchen cabinets again without my other hand helping. I have a new not as painful exercise, so that's good. Also the pt did discover that there is a nerve pinching, but it's not too bad.
So things are good generally. I do have to call J about trust stuff that he isn't doing. It will be hard not to tell him that I plan to hire a trust attorney and have him prosecuted if he doesn't stop messing with the estate. I need to be calm and patient and not give up my strategy at all. I'd better get some meditation in today. The yoga has been going well. I found several poses that help with the shoulder, and the pt confirmed this.
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Cate
Long term member
It's great that you found a really good PT & you are getting back so much more movement. I hope your call with J goes well. You won't let on about hiring a lawyer, I'm sure. It must be hard having to talk to him without losing your cool, but I know you can. I hope you have had an enjoyable day, M xo
Thanks Cate, Liza, Em, and Llama! The phone call went ok. J was willing to fix the estate thing. I think his strategy is to not tick me off before mediation. He was surprised that we can't get the divorce until summer. No one explained about the filing dates of the separation paperwork to him. So he was talking about the logistics of getting the house on the market and stuff like that. I did ok with the conversation, I think, and it didn't make me too tense. We did yoga which is going well with my shoulder. I am beginning to be able to put weight on that arm in downward dog and poses like that, but I work up to it. And I can nearly do the really awful physical therapy worst exercise with only a bit of pain. My arm is nearly where it's supposed to be when I do it at times now. We had a nice day off staying home for the most part and I made a nice simple dinner of elbow noodles that are made of quinoa and tomato sauce and meatballs and then roasted kabocha squash, which we love. We had lots of good talks and watched a home makeover show for deserving families whose houses really needed work. That made us happy because we're so looking forward to getting our own house that we can fix up how we like. The transformations were amazing, and often inexpensive, so it was really fun getting ideas.
Yay progress!
And he didn't bother to look things up, obviously. And he's the one who was supposed to look after the estate because he's so much more practical than you? Hmhm.
I think I told him the potential divorce date before I learned from double checking with my lawyer, and she let me know that there was a different later date because the court goes by when lawyers file paperwork, not by when you actually separated. So he is relying on me to give him this sort of information. But I agree, he is not any better than anyone else at being practical. I am really sorry my mom trusted him so much, but he really is good at acting responsible.
Thanks Liza! My shoulder is complaining, but is also way more in place, so I am not complaining!!
Thanks Em! I was a little concerned at how much time I was spending looking for houses, but now I am viewing it as happy cheer-up time where I also try to envision how I would fix each house up, and if there are too many things that need changing for the amount of money I might have to spend on each house. It's a fun exercise, as I love remodeling houses - the design part anyway. The dust and chaos part is a little much. We may just get something turn-key if we luck out.
We have just been taking little walks and making low calorie salads, but then eating a little ice cream for dessert. The ice cream is gone now, so I can get back to eating better.