He probably does, but all this will make him look like a complete jerk in family court. And I can get by on very little money, so it's very annoying about K's therapy, but I have been asking K what the therapist does so that if therapy does end abruptly, I will know what direction she is taking and can at least research what the therapist has been doing. I have enough training to mimic what a good therapist's treatment plan is if necessary. It just really stinks if her therapy ends abruptly because she is getting so much out of it and so loves group therapy.
Marsia's Diary
- Thread starter Marsia
- Start date
That is terrible to have to delay going to a doctor or dentist when you have a possible infection. I do hope you're right that it will resolve itself with some cleaner eating.
That would be a shame to lose K's therapy. I hope she can keep going.
to you & Thanks for commiserating! I had such an exhausting day. I had a call with both lawyers who really appreciated the notes I made for them last week, which was so nice. They have a really good strategy for moving forward, and explained all this legal stuff to me about what will happen. I could hardly keep up typing what they were saying. It was all good though, and all shows that we will be ok in the end.
I didn't bring up the therapy with them because J offered to do that on his own because he wants therapeutic visitation, and if I had just accepted the free therapy from the county, they don't offer that. He texted in the middle of my call with my lawyers that he wanted to talk on the phone. So after the lawyer call, I called him and told him to work things out with the coordinating therapist because it is her plan, and I am not going to cancel appointments until he talks with her and lets her know he needs to pay for less therapy, and she can decide what to cut. He backpedaled a bit because he really wants therapeutic visitation and not to look bad to the coordinating therapist. So I'll cancel one of my sessions this month, and he'll pay for everything else.
J is pumping me for information repeatedly on what days we go to therapy. I keep evading, but he keeps at it. And one day when I know he thought we were away, there was a car pulling out of our driveway at 4am with their lights off. Both K and I woke up and saw this. So today we installed a security system, and it is fantastic. I am so proud of us, and I will sleep soundly now and not get woken up repeatedly by our owl who can make human-sounding hoots at times. Such a relief how easy a DIY system is now, and how great it is to monitor the house while away! I also got these happy, bright yellow, obnoxious smiley-face signs that say, "Smile, you're on camera!" I put them in our windows and I really like them.
We did Wim Hof this morning, and I feel so much better. I want to do yoga or more Wim Hof tonight. I also did a long meditation this morning. I do think the teeth thing is stress, jaw clenching, and my teeth being sensitive because they just got major work done. The dentists just put my permanent crown on a few days ago, and would have seen an infection, and I had these symptoms then, too. I had a really good food day and things hurt less. Crossing fingers the pain lessens each day. I'll go and pay for my own doctor visit if I really have to, but am hoping not to have to.
So it was a completely exhausting day, but good, too. Oh, and 2 teachers wrote to K that they are happy to write her letters of recommendation for college. They both asked a bunch of questions about how she is doing, so she'll write nice thank-you letters back to them and fill them in on homeschooling. So we are nearly done with applications!
I didn't bring up the therapy with them because J offered to do that on his own because he wants therapeutic visitation, and if I had just accepted the free therapy from the county, they don't offer that. He texted in the middle of my call with my lawyers that he wanted to talk on the phone. So after the lawyer call, I called him and told him to work things out with the coordinating therapist because it is her plan, and I am not going to cancel appointments until he talks with her and lets her know he needs to pay for less therapy, and she can decide what to cut. He backpedaled a bit because he really wants therapeutic visitation and not to look bad to the coordinating therapist. So I'll cancel one of my sessions this month, and he'll pay for everything else.
J is pumping me for information repeatedly on what days we go to therapy. I keep evading, but he keeps at it. And one day when I know he thought we were away, there was a car pulling out of our driveway at 4am with their lights off. Both K and I woke up and saw this. So today we installed a security system, and it is fantastic. I am so proud of us, and I will sleep soundly now and not get woken up repeatedly by our owl who can make human-sounding hoots at times. Such a relief how easy a DIY system is now, and how great it is to monitor the house while away! I also got these happy, bright yellow, obnoxious smiley-face signs that say, "Smile, you're on camera!" I put them in our windows and I really like them.
We did Wim Hof this morning, and I feel so much better. I want to do yoga or more Wim Hof tonight. I also did a long meditation this morning. I do think the teeth thing is stress, jaw clenching, and my teeth being sensitive because they just got major work done. The dentists just put my permanent crown on a few days ago, and would have seen an infection, and I had these symptoms then, too. I had a really good food day and things hurt less. Crossing fingers the pain lessens each day. I'll go and pay for my own doctor visit if I really have to, but am hoping not to have to.
So it was a completely exhausting day, but good, too. Oh, and 2 teachers wrote to K that they are happy to write her letters of recommendation for college. They both asked a bunch of questions about how she is doing, so she'll write nice thank-you letters back to them and fill them in on homeschooling. So we are nearly done with applications!
Oh well done telling J to sort it out with the therapist rather than trying to make things right for everyone all the time! I'm super impressed that you installed a security system yourself as well: we really can do so much more than we know. Also: lovely that you heard back from K's teachers.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Have you tried making a settlement offer to J? Something reasonable, maybe close to where your attorneys think it might end. He might take it, ending the process, and paying lawyers. If he doesn't nothing lost. My legal experience is more civil related, not divorce, but I know most cases settle rather than going to court. It's usually a win for both sides.
Hope things go well for you, as I have said you are obviously a smart lady, I am sure you are doing things right.
Wow, thanks Cate!
Thanks Llama. I am so glad K's therapy is still in place. It would not be ideal by any means if I had to be her therapist, but just knowing that I could if necessary was helpful for calling his bluff. I told him that the therapists were not going to take him seriously if he yanked her out of therapy in the beginning of treatment and then tried to get her appointments back. I pointed out that they would not wait for her to come back, they would simply fill her spot with other appointments. He really wants therapeutic visitation, so that helped getting him to see what the reality of canceling appointments would do. The security system was surprisingly easy - like putting together an Ikea piece of furniture. It's amazing how the advances in tech are making things so much easier. I just got access to some government documents by taking pictures of my identification and talking with a representative who had me show my identification on camera. It was like going to a government office without having to go anywhere. That was so nice.
Thanks Rob! Yes, that's what they are trying first, something like a settlement offer. J is very stubborn and not rational about giving up control (especially of money), so we'll see! I have to go with my lawyers to negotiate with him and his lawyers, and am dreading that. I forgot to thank you for the Elvis link before, too!
K is so excited. She kept checking the Common App all night to see if her teacher recommendations were in yet. One school that doesn't need more teacher recommendations has already uploaded her application, and she keeps asking when they'll let her know. I told her that it is usually months until you know. I hope she will be ok waiting!
Thanks Em. I am catching myself clenching all day, and adjusting and relaxing my jaw so I can't do that. I think I am doing it less now. I am so glad that I meditate or this situation would drive me crazy!
We caught up on schoolwork yesterday, so not much to report. It is really good to have most of the college application process out of the way. K is still making a portfolio for one of the schools. I am encouraging her to use mostly her music videos and to use old graphic design projects, too, but she does want to take some sketches and make some graphics. I ate well, and my teeth were good until I drank juice, then they were very painful. I got out straight aloe vera juice to drink and it tastes awful, but I am feeling almost all better this morning, so will keep drinking that instead. I need to get more exercise today for sure!
Cate
Long term member
Will that be soon, M?
It's great to hear that K is excited about her future
Please do & then tell us about it as I'm starting to go stir crazy.
It's great stuff but tastes gross, so I usually mix it with another sweet juice. It tastes similar to aloe vera straight from the leaf except that it isn't bitter. I have no idea how they get the bitter out!
I think this will happen in December. I just got coached by my therapist, because I have to go with my lawyers and hash this out with him, and I know he will be utterly uncooperative. My therapist is great and got me feeling confident about it. It's so nice to see K so happy! I didn't get exercise in except for a couple of rounds of yoga today. I really meant to do more, but ran out of time!Will that be soon, M?
It's great to hear that K is excited about her future
Please do & then tell us about it as I'm starting to go stir crazy.
I've never heard of boxercise - that sounds awesome! K has been screaming and she says it really helps!
So interesting! Yes I can't really imagine it tasting any good!
alligatorob
Respected Member
Hard to do much about that but be patient. Perhaps once he realizes he will lose some control no matter what he may get a bit more reasonable. Just be sure he understands you are not going to give into him, I am pretty sure you are good at relaying that message...
A couple of rounds of yoga sound good to me!
I am having some as I type. I am getting more used to the taste, and it makes me feel worlds better, so worth a grimace or two!
Thanks Rob, I just made notes on what I want to say at this settlement meeting, and added what you wrote about making sure he realizes that I won't give in to him! Thanks - it's good to get some outside perspective. I was just concentrating on sounding neutral and rational, because this stuff is upsetting, and it would be easy to look a little hysterical if I let my emotions out too much over all of this.
The yoga was so good just before a long drive we took yesterday. I really recommend it! Also I pm'd you.
Thanks everyone!!
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