Marsia's Diary

[Emilyrose]

Good for you getting the finances sorted and I'm so thrilled that it will all work out okay! It always does in the end. x

 

[Marsia]

Knowing the financial damage won't be as bad as you feared would be an enormous relief! That's amazing to hear.

I am nearly giddy with relief!

Good for you, and I am glad you feel ok about it. Knowing is always better than not. And I am sure you are saving on lawyer costs and probably getting to a better outcome this way. Are you working? Or do you plan to work?

A fall back skill!!

Hope your tooth is better, I hate tooth aches.

Now my policy when one goes bad is to have it pulled and replaced with an implant. Not cheap, but in the long run I think it saves money and pain... No more root canals and the like for me.

Thanks Rob! The lawyer wrote me a nice little note about how much my notes will help them, which was nice to hear after nearly going cross-eyed sorting through hundreds of pages of that stuff! My tooth is mostly better. It may just be that I am adjusting to the temporary crown. I go in to get the permanent one soon and will make sure I talk with them about this.

I totally get that about not wanting to make music into a therapy type thing and keeping it as a fun spontaneous thing.

Sorry to hear about the toothache I hope it is an easy fix at the dentist if it does come to that.

Very cool about your Zoom meet with the admissions for the art therapy program! You sound inspired!

I really hope it works out to become an art therapist. I find the subject so fascinating, and I have already worked with clients doing sandtray and art therapy, and really love it. I just need more formal training and a program that helps me get internships and licensure.

I love picturing you & K singing in the car. It will be wonderful when she can be in a band again.

That is so good to hear.

That sounds like such a good combination of your skills, M. One of our nieces is an art therapist & mainly works with teenagers. She has recently started a program at the high school near us. She is a gem. I can see you doing this.
I hope that tooth gets fixed soon!

We really like singing in the car together. I can't wait until she has her own band again. She often hears music that her band wanted to play together some day, and gets all frustrated. Do you think your niece would ever be into giving me advice if I need it? I was actually thinking of working with teens someday!

Good for you getting the finances sorted and I'm so thrilled that it will all work out okay! It always does in the end. x

Thanks Em! I am amazed at how well things are going, to tell the truth!

I got through all the financial paperwork early this morning and we had to go see the social worker and run a lot of errands after that. I really wanted to get on the forum the last 2 days, but just didn't have time. Today I made a letterhead for our homeschool for applying to colleges. It turns out I am the school counselor who turns in grades and does a write up about the school and all sorts of hard to write things like that. K's stomach's been off, so I just boiled up some baby potatoes and harvested some of the last of the garden cilantro and green onion tops and made a nice Hollandaise sauce for on the potatoes. I like making simple comfort food, and luckily didn't feel the need to eat a lot of it. I am starting to have more energy again and I think it's because my meditation practice has been going so well. I do need to be home so we can get more exercise though. I can't wait until the college application process is done and we can get back to all the fun things I have planned for school! We went a bit crazy with groceries and they barely fit in the fridge. I hope we can eat them down quickly!

Oh, I forgot we did get out to go to K's favorite antique shop and to the bird refuge out there. It was a beautiful fall day with the leaves just starting to turn yellow and lots of families out hiking. There is a beautiful cedar swamp there and usually the cedar knees are poking out of the water, but it hasn't rained in a while, so all the knees were exposed, and it looked like a mini forest of little wood sprites. We're starting to feel like this place is home now. I think we'll really miss it here in many ways. The nature is just incredible!

 

[Cate]

I’ll reply properly tomorrow morning M

 

[Llama]

Well done in all that paperwork! I'm sure it's overwhelming at times but it'll be so satisfying once you're done. I hope K's stomach will recover soon.

 

[liza3]

Good for you with all that financial stuff! I hope K's stomach is feeling better soon.
Good to hear you're feeling more energized lately. That outing to the antique shop and bird sanctuary sounds really lovely.

We're starting to feel like this place is home now. I think we'll really miss it here in many ways. The nature is just incredible!

I know for me whenever I am about to leave a place, the positives really start sticking out even more. It's nice that you can appreciate the beauty of it all.

 

[alligatorob]

Oh, I forgot we did get out to go to K's favorite antique shop and to the bird refuge out there. It was a beautiful fall day with the leaves just starting to turn yellow and lots of families out hiking. There is a beautiful cedar swamp there and usually the cedar knees are poking out of the water, but it hasn't rained in a while, so all the knees were exposed, and it looked like a mini forest of little wood sprites. We're starting to feel like this place is home now. I think we'll really miss it here in many ways. The nature is just incredible!

I assume you are talking about cypress and cypress knees. The bald cypress is in the same family as our American cedars, redwoods too, and can look a bit like them. However I have never seen a cedar knee. The bald cypress is probably my favorite tree. I miss them. And you are right the natural areas in our south are really nice places. We live near a large bird refuge here, with extensive wetlands, but it is nothing to compare to what you have...

Have you decided for sure that you are relocating to a different part of the country? I thought you were still consider staying put, as one option anyway.

 

[Cate]

The lawyer wrote me a nice little note about how much my notes will help them, which was nice to hear after nearly going cross-eyed sorting through hundreds of pages of that stuff!

The lawyer would not be used to someone as capable. I'm glad she was impressed & made a point of praising you. You deserve it.

Do you think your niece would ever be into giving me advice if I need it? I was actually thinking of working with teens someday!

I will be happy to ask her, M. She is such a beautiful soul.

It turns out I am the school counselor who turns in grades and does a write up about the school and all sorts of hard to write things like that

Why does that not surprise me?
I'm sure that wherever you & K end up you will find lovely places to go & lots of things to see & enjoy. You'll find your special place M xoxo

 

[Marsia]

Well done in all that paperwork! I'm sure it's overwhelming at times but it'll be so satisfying once you're done. I hope K's stomach will recover soon.

Thanks Llama. I think she is adjusting to anxiety meds like Liza, so she can eat starches better than healthy things, but I'll pair healthy food with comfort food and see how it goes. I just finished the teacher letter of recommendation, and am feeling good about college applications.

Good for you with all that financial stuff! I hope K's stomach is feeling better soon.
Good to hear you're feeling more energized lately. That outing to the antique shop and bird sanctuary sounds really lovely.

I know for me whenever I am about to leave a place, the positives really start sticking out even more. It's nice that you can appreciate the beauty of it all.

Thanks Liza! It's good to have more energy. I wrote a big. long email to my best friend this morning before getting up, and that was so nice. The bird sanctuary is one of our favorite places and is always so different every time we go. I love the changing seasons here!

I assume you are talking about cypress and cypress knees. The bald cypress is in the same family as our American cedars, redwoods too, and can look a bit like them. However I have never seen a cedar knee. The bald cypress is probably my favorite tree. I miss them. And you are right the natural areas in our south are really nice places. We live near a large bird refuge here, with extensive wetlands, but it is nothing to compare to what you have...

Have you decided for sure that you are relocating to a different part of the country? I thought you were still consider staying put, as one option anyway.

Oh, yes, cypress, not cedar!! There are cedar trees in CA that look a little like cypress, but no knees, so I got them mixed up! Cypress knees are the bees knees! We are definitely relocating. It is too expensive here for us, the colleges are not as good as where we are applying, and we both really want to be in a cooler climate and closer to big cities with modern art museums and things like that. I can get a beautiful old house on an acre in some northeastern towns near really good colleges for what a condo costs here. I am not that fond of snow and ice, but I do worse in the heat than in the cold.

The lawyer would not be used to someone as capable. I'm glad she was impressed & made a point of praising you. You deserve it.

I will be happy to ask her, M. She is such a beautiful soul.

Why does that not surprise me?
I'm sure that wherever you & K end up you will find lovely places to go & lots of things to see & enjoy. You'll find your special place M xoxo

Thanks Cate! I am surprised at how most people don't cut costs by doing things like filling out as much paperwork as possible for professionals who charge an arm and a leg for their services. My contractors were always surprised when I gave them Sketchup drawings with dimensions and with all the materials picked out. It saved a lot and then we all knew we were on the same page.

I don't know if I'll need advice yet from your niece, but if I do decide to go into art therapy, that would be lovely to write to her. Thanks so much!

We are both feeling better about our future, and K is starting to get happy and bouncy at times, now, too. It's beyond wonderful to see that again!! I'm a bit concerned about J if things don't go his way. But I have so many people helping me who I can call at a moment's notice for advice and help, we should be ok.

Today I finished my letter of recommendation for K, and it came out really good. I sent it to my friend to see if he'll proof it and add comments. K worked on her online applications a lot, and is has a final draft of her college application and we can send it. Things are coming together on the college front.

 

[Llama]

Awesome to hear K is getting some of her bounciness back! I'm sure there'll be ups and downs for a while but the average clearly seems to be going up.

 

[Cate]

We are both feeling better about our future, and K is starting to get happy and bouncy at times, now, too. It's beyond wonderful to see that again!!

It's wonderful to read this too xoxo
Let me know if you want to contact our niece at any time. I'll message her & make sure she's happy to be in touch, but I'm she would be.

 

[liza3]

yes wonderful to hear about K's happiness and bounciness!

I am not that fond of snow and ice, but I do worse in the heat than in the cold.

I am the same way--would way rather put up with a bigger winter than hotter/more humid summers.

 

[alligatorob]

We are definitely relocating. It is too expensive here for us, the colleges are not as good as where we are applying, and we both really want to be in a cooler climate and closer to big cities with modern art museums and things like that. I can get a beautiful old house on an acre in some northeastern towns near really good colleges for what a condo costs here. I am not that fond of snow and ice, but I do worse in the heat than in the cold.

Sounds good, I am a bit surprised at the cost differences, but if you can do the cold I can see it. Me, I much prefer heat to cold.

I am surprised at how most people don't cut costs by doing things like filling out as much paperwork as possible for professionals who charge an arm and a leg for their services. My contractors were always surprised when I gave them Sketchup drawings with dimensions and with all the materials picked out. It saved a lot and then we all knew we were on the same page.

You are doing the right thing, gives you both more control and saves money. I agree I don't know why more people don't do it.

Today I finished my letter of recommendation for K, and it came out really good. I sent it to my friend to see if he'll proof it and add comments. K worked on her online applications a lot, and is has a final draft of her college application and we can send it. Things are coming together on the college front.

A good Mama!

 

[Llama]

I am surprised at how most people don't cut costs by doing things like filling out as much paperwork as possible for professionals who charge an arm and a leg for their services.

agree I don't know why more people don't do it.

For a lot of people paperwork is terrifying and the thought of misunderstanding some crucial detail and messing up because of it paralyzing.

 

[Emilyrose]

We are both feeling better about our future, and K is starting to get happy and bouncy at times, now, too. It's beyond wonderful to see that again!! I'm a bit concerned about J if things don't go his way. But I have so many people helping me who I can call at a moment's notice for advice and help, we should be ok.

The philosopher Michel de Montaigne once said -

My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.

I think that's genius. Lean into all the positive and let J worry about J. You're doing great.

 

[Marsia]

Thanks all!
I really like that quote Em - good for worriers like me!
Llama, I would be completely intimidated by anything that is complicated and financial, but I am looking at fairly simple paperwork and I can ask lots of questions, so it's nice to do and know what is going on. Yes, I do think we're on an upward trajectory in general. It's really nice!
Thanks Rob - we finished the application to her first pic college, and after we get more teacher letters of recommendation, the rest will be complete except for if she wants to submit a portfolio. It felt good to get all this done!
Liza, even K's individual therapist noticed that K is happier, which was so nice that she got to see how K usually is!
Thanks Cate, I'll let you know. I am going back and forth between teaching and art therapy, so I need to see where we'll end up living, I think first!

I've been fighting this thing that is part congestion with ears having pressure in them, toothache, and I have been clenching my jaw in the daytime and constantly catching myself, so my mouth and neck and ears are in pain at different times throughout the day. I did some exercises for the jaw that helped the last two days, but mostly I need to keep checking in with myself to see if I am jutting my jaw while clenching. Pain killers make the pain disappear, but I want to train myself out of this and also eat well so I get over the weird congestion/ear ache thing. I've been so tired and out of it, but still getting nice things done.

We went out to see the Priscilla Presley movie to celebrate getting the first college application done. Elvis was definitely a narcissist, so this generated good conversation and it reminded K of how we all went out to watch a movie about Elvis once, and J thought he was fun, but I didn't like him. It was nice going out to the movies.

I made these really nice savory pancakes today from quick oats soaked in warm milk with egg, spices, grated parmesan, and green onion tops from the garden. They came out great, and are an easy gluten free new thing I'll make more often.

Anyway, every little thing like college applications we get done helps me feel like we are on our way to a new life!!

 

[alligatorob]

I've been fighting this thing that is part congestion with ears having pressure in them, toothache, and I have been clenching my jaw in the daytime and constantly catching myself, so my mouth and neck and ears are in pain at different times throughout the day. I did some exercises for the jaw that helped the last two days, but mostly I need to keep checking in with myself to see if I am jutting my jaw while clenching. Pain killers make the pain disappear, but I want to train myself out of this and also eat well so I get over the weird congestion/ear ache thing. I've been so tired and out of it, but still getting nice things done.

That' not good, to my nonexpert ears it sounds like some kind of infection. Have you been to a doctor? Maybe an anti-biotic would help. Take care of yourself girl!

We went out to see the Priscilla Presley movie to celebrate getting the first college application done. Elvis was definitely a narcissist, so this generated good conversation and it reminded K of how we all went out to watch a movie about Elvis once, and J thought he was fun, but I didn't like him. It was nice going out to the movies.

Haven't seen it, and may not. I do like listening to Elvis, but I know he wasn't a great person. I suspect the victim of not being real smart but thrust into fame and fortune at a young age, without mature guidance... My favorite Elvis movie, maybe my only one:

I made these really nice savory pancakes today from quick oats soaked in warm milk with egg, spices, grated parmesan, and green onion tops from the garden. They came out great, and are an easy gluten free new thing I'll make more often.

Sounds really good, hope you saved some for me!

 

[Llama]

Those pancakes sound great! And I agree with Rob: call the dentist, especially if you're also having brain fog. You had your teeth treated recently so it's absolutely possible you might have an infection and they can suddenly turn nasty.

 

[Cate]

That does sound like you may have an infection. with Rob & Llama. Go & get yourself checked out, M xo

 

[Marsia]

Thanks all. The weird thing is that if I don't have any caffeine or sugar or much salt or very citrus-y things like lemon, there is no pain. I think my mouth is just really sensitive because I am on the verge of getting sick. It's really weird but if I have too much sugar or caffeine when I am about to get sick, it pushes me over the edge. I think I just need to stop eating those things completely for a couple of days to be sure that is what is wrong. I promise to go if there is pain today. J is not refilling the health savings card which is how he is paying for the health and therapy stuff that he is responsible for (he is saying that he is out of money), so I don't want to go to the doctor unless I really have to right now, but I do know that an infection is a really dangerous thing to toy with. I'll be careful! Also I was just at the dentist to have them put the permanent crown on, and they didn't notice anything unusual, so I will stop being silly and stop having sugar and caffeine. I have them as a not so healthy way to manage stress, but I should just go meditate or do yoga or exercise instead!!

Last night I called the health savings card number and it's almost out of money and won't pay for all of K's therapy this week. J had me set up all this therapy that he said he would pay for, and now is saying he is out of money. His financial paperwork shows that he just hid a lot of money, but I won't say that I know that because I don't want to aggravate things. So I wrote to him to ask him what he will do as far as this week's therapy. He is paying for therapy so that he can have therapeutic visitation some day, but he seems to already be giving up on that. That or he declared that he has no money and if he pays for everything, it will show that he has hidden money. I am so glad that there is only 6 more months of this. Phew!

 

[Llama]

Oof, that sucks. Another thing to ask your excellent legal counsel about. He must enjoy having power over you for now.