Marsia's Diary

[Marsia]

You are already a very supportive person and I'm sure you'll mine this whole mess for precious nuggets of experience that will further improve your ability to help others.
Also: I'm so glad you're getting your teeth fixed without falling for J's sob stories about almost not being able to pay things. Dental health is so important and you wouldn't have ground your teeth to bits if it hadn't been for the stress his antics caused.

That's a really nice compliment, especially coming from you who I look up to for how supportive you are on the forum. Thank you!

Good for you getting that dental work started!

Thanks Liza, it feels really good getting all our health things looked after.

I think it's a good idea to ask if the therapist would use your name & not "Mom". It's mind-boggling that she doesn't.
I'm glad that you are having that dental work done-your poor teeth. I'm not too fond of sarcasm but sometimes it comes to mind. Usually, I leave it there. Poor J. My heart bleeds for him
Do you have anything nice planned for this week, M?

I agree with Llama about the coordinating therapist. I think she is involved in so many legal battles that she keeps all the parents at arm's length and tries to just advocate for the child, but I think she could do that way less blatantly. I think it's ironic, too, that my teeth are worn almost all the way to the gum-line in the back and how symbolic that is. It's awful what happened to J that he is how he is now. I do feel very sorry for him while also making sure I watch my back every second around him.

I have plans for the coming week that I am really hoping we get to. I really want to take the stand up paddle boards for a spin on the marsh by where we walk in the evenings. It has a nice boating channel through it where a lot of paddle boarders go. I also picked up 2 bike tire inserts that are thorn-proof and will install one and keep the other for a spare so we can finally go bike riding again. If we are wildly successful on catching up on school, I'd love to grab some oil pastels and go out sketching. If not, maybe we can just go to a cafe and I can bring the oil pastels and teach K how to blend them and show her some tricks of doing still lives or something like that. I'd love to get us sketching again!

Yesterday we went through some of the colleges on the list and eliminated some and highlighted others. It's slow going as this is an interdisciplinary program and often has a bunch of different options at each college, none of which quite look the same from school to school. Also K got her test grade back for the college entrance exam (SAT) and it was on the low side of her practice tests. Still, the entire auditorium of kids were coughing and sneezing, and the loudest cougher sat right behind her, and she does not do well in tests with distractions and noise, so she did well given the circumstances. I will leave it to her if she wants to retake the test, which she isn't wanting to do at the moment. The school where she most wants to go has a higher test score range listed than what she got, so we'll talk about that and see how it goes. I also found a really good community college (2 year program) where she could go to get prerequisites out of the way and also show what a good student she is despite her test scores.

I texted back and forth to the admissions person at the art therapy program, and they will look at my college transcripts and show me what would transfer. I don't know when I would apply yet, but I am sure I'd get in. I have a good GPA in my master's program and good resume for showing that I am an artist and have experience working with kids from all different backgrounds. Anyway, that's really getting me excited, and I am reading up on all the advances in my field in the last 20 years - it's mind boggling how much has changed - I'll never catch up to all the good stuff happening now! It's all so much more evidence based and creative and innovative now.

 

[liza3]

Paddle boarding on the marsh sounds so lovely, as do the plans for biking and art...

And so lovely to be excited for future plans for the art therapy program!

 

[Llama]

I am reading up on all the advances in my field in the last 20 years - it's mind boggling how much has changed - I'll never catch up to all the good stuff happening now! It's all so much more evidence based and creative and innovative now.

20 years is a LONG time in any medical field. It's why I wouldn't be allowed to keep practicing if I didn't keep up with regular courses and workshops. You're going to have so much fun getting back into it all!

 

[Cate]

Finding some time to do some paddle boarding and/or sketching sounds lovely. It sounds like you both really need a break. Maybe just even one day, M xoxo

 

[Marsia]

Paddle boarding on the marsh sounds so lovely, as do the plans for biking and art...

And so lovely to be excited for future plans for the art therapy program!

Thanks Liza, I hope we get more organized so we can do more stuff like this soon. This weekend we caught up on school and did a lot more on our college list. Last week we got so behind on school, and I just made an executive decision that we aren't going out at all until school is caught up for the day each day. I have so much cool school stuff planned, and we just aren't getting to it. I think we may have good dosages and times down for medicine now, which should help a lot. It's really wonderful thinking about art therapy again!

20 years is a LONG time in any medical field. It's why I wouldn't be allowed to keep practicing if I didn't keep up with regular courses and workshops. You're going to have so much fun getting back into it all!

Thanks Llama, I feel like that, too. I haven't had the time and energy to immerse myself in things I love like this in so long. It's going to be wonderful!

Finding some time to do some paddle boarding and/or sketching sounds lovely. It sounds like you both really need a break. Maybe just even one day, M xoxo

I think so, too, Cate. I am going to work hard this week to get us done with school and out on the paddle boards and/or sketching! We also really need to start applying for colleges. Deadlines are coming up soon.

Not much new. I meditated a lot the last few days and listened to the last public talk my Buddhist teacher plans to give. He retired after the talk he gave this morning. He talked about how he prays for his students daily and will continue to do this, and gave a lovely, deeply touching talk. Some people are just so amazingly intelligent and kind and you are so glad to have known them!

I have to get my calorie counting more accurate and stop eating at night. I may cut severely back on sugar, too. I am gaining again because of comfort eating. Time to get active and feeling better again!

 

[Cate]

I hope you can catch up soon, M xoxo

 

[liza3]

Getting a nice schedule to keep up with school work and then adding in your excellent activities sounds great. Knowing your rhythms and what works best for you and your schedule is great. I know I have to get outside pretty much first thing for any kind of intensive activity and knowing how I work really helps me schedule my days for it. Scheduling for the winter is another tough challenge with it getting dark so early!

 

[Emilyrose]

I'm so sorry to hear about the teeth Marsia! But at least you are getting them sorted. Modern dentistry is one of the things I am most thankful for - being born in this period of time where your teeth can be perfected in no time at all!

That talk from your Buddhist teacher sounds lovely. Sorry to hear that K didn't do as well on her SATs as hoped - maybe a retake could be a good thing just to open up the options? Whatever you think best really.

 

[Marsia]

I hope you can catch up soon, M xoxo

Well, we didn't catch up today because we did a lot of college stuff, but we did take a walk on the beach and another one to the hardware store. We got a locking mailbox up, as someone is opening our mail. I am feeling quite accomplished between installing a mailbox and figuring out the bike tire.

Getting a nice schedule to keep up with school work and then adding in your excellent activities sounds great. Knowing your rhythms and what works best for you and your schedule is great. I know I have to get outside pretty much first thing for any kind of intensive activity and knowing how I work really helps me schedule my days for it. Scheduling for the winter is another tough challenge with it getting dark so early!

I am really happy that K is doing well enough to just get up and start school again. Such a relief! I like the idea of getting outside first thing. I think we'll get my new bike tire inner tube on the bike and try biking in the mornings. I agree about the dark, but luckily daylight savings time is just around the corner here. I forget - are you in the US, too?

I'm so sorry to hear about the teeth Marsia! But at least you are getting them sorted. Modern dentistry is one of the things I am most thankful for - being born in this period of time where your teeth can be perfected in no time at all!

That talk from your Buddhist teacher sounds lovely. Sorry to hear that K didn't do as well on her SATs as hoped - maybe a retake could be a good thing just to open up the options? Whatever you think best really.

Thanks, Em. I'm sad that my old dentist told me that I was brushing wrong and that's what caused my teeth to wear. If he had told me about grinding my teeth, it could have been prevented. You're right, good that they can fix it though! I am having K look over her SAT test because I want her to decide about retaking it. The colleges she likes best are just a few SAT points away from the score she got, so I am encouraging her to see if she thinks she can do better.

It really helped asking everyone's opinion on what the therapists had all said. I am feeling much better and made a decision to get us up for school on a schedule because K is doing better, and that way she can get up and take medicine sooner, and we can exercise first thing so we can combat anxiety better. Today was good exercise and sunshine, and I am feeling pleasantly tired. I had a little mango salsa for my last snack and am feeling good about calories and food today.

 

[Llama]

For me being on a schedule and getting useful stuff done first thing in the morning would help in the battle against anxiety. Someone opening your mail is freaky and kind of scary though!

 

[Cate]

It is weird that someone is opening your mail. Good on you for fixing that quickly. Biking in the morning would be a good start to your day. I hope K decides to resit her SAT test. I'm glad you had a nice day xoxo

 

[liza3]

I agree about the dark, but luckily daylight savings time is just around the corner here

Yeah I have it where I am as well but that means darker earlier so then it becomes less likely I will be active in the evenings...it shouldn't make too much a difference for me since I do my running/cycling in the mornings but it might mean a little less walking for me in the evenings...
I have ground my teeth down a lot over the years as well!
Good job on installing your locking mailbox and bike tire--that kind of stuff always makes me feel really accomplished too!

 

[Marsia]

For me being on a schedule and getting useful stuff done first thing in the morning would help in the battle against anxiety. Someone opening your mail is freaky and kind of scary though!

Me, too. I can just feel my blood pressure going up when we don't get school started until nearly noon. This is so much better! Whoever was opening the mail was not even being subtle about it. The envelopes were completely open and even torn on the ends, and one package was completely fine except for a hole made in the middle where it would not have occurred naturally. This coincides with my lawyers subpoenaing J's finances and my mom's estate stuff he was in charge of, but I guess it could be coincidence, too.

It is weird that someone is opening your mail. Good on you for fixing that quickly. Biking in the morning would be a good start to your day. I hope K decides to resit her SAT test. I'm glad you had a nice day xoxo

Thanks Cate! We got up early this morning for me to get the first dentist appointment done - one tooth capped, another filled already! It was ok for K to get up early, which is really nice to see. I really want to get out tomorrow on bikes though - hopefully tomorrow morning. I hope she retests, too. She's so close to being a shoe-in for her top college! It was so nice enjoying the sun and waves and autumn forest yesterday!

Yeah I have it where I am as well but that means darker earlier so then it becomes less likely I will be active in the evenings...it shouldn't make too much a difference for me since I do my running/cycling in the mornings but it might mean a little less walking for me in the evenings...
I have ground my teeth down a lot over the years as well!
Good job on installing your locking mailbox and bike tire--that kind of stuff always makes me feel really accomplished too!

I am wearing a teeth guard from the drug store in the night so I don't wear out my teeth further, and I really don't mind it at all. It was inexpensive and pretty comfortable, and I really wish I had known about it sooner. It's nice getting practical things done that I wasn't sure I could do!

I'm feeling good about things now. We are really starting to get good amounts of exercise and sun, get up for school, and I am on top of figuring out our future and getting to do nice things like read up on the field of psychology. We do a little yoga each day, too, and I want to increase this to the point where we are doing a lot of weight-bearing postures to build up strength, too. Living in a tiny RV for months made us lose all our muscle mass, and I really want to get it back fast. There is a huge pile of decomposed wood chips waiting for us to do yard work, too. It will be enough to mulch all the beds around the house and get them looking all spiffy again. K had a big breakthrough on her college essay last night, so her final draft of her essay should be so good!

 

[Llama]

Whoever was opening the mail was not even being subtle about it. The envelopes were completely open and even torn on the ends, and one package was completely fine except for a hole made in the middle where it would not have occurred naturally. This coincides with my lawyers subpoenaing J's finances and my mom's estate stuff he was in charge of, but I guess it could be coincidence, too.

Just... wow. Honestly that's the kind of thing people go to the police for. Messing with the mail is something most countries take very seriously. Maybe I'm paranoid but I hope the locking mailbox ends it and they don't just break the lock.

Good to hear K is getting in the college prep spirit!

 

[Cate]

I think going to the police is a good idea about the mail. How far away does J live, Marsia? He was the first person I thought of when you mentioned that- either he or someone he got to do it.
Yay to so many things- K getting up early & getting stuff done & getting sun & exercise & getting a mouth guard & dental work done. You are moving forward, M! Well done, you xoxo

 

[liza3]

You sound like you're getting into a really nice and steady routine--so good! I found the resistance bands so excellent for easy strength building routines and can sometimes be nice to include as part of my yoga routine as well...
Excellent about K's breakthrough for her college essay!

 

[Marsia]

Just... wow. Honestly that's the kind of thing people go to the police for. Messing with the mail is something most countries take very seriously. Maybe I'm paranoid but I hope the locking mailbox ends it and they don't just break the lock.

Good to hear K is getting in the college prep spirit!

Thanks Llama, I am trying to not have so much drama in our lives, so I figure that if a locking mailbox gets messed with, I'll call the police then, but otherwise, I am just lucky to have caught it that our mail is being gone through. It's a felony here to mess with mail, so I figure the new mailbox will alert whoever is doing this that they can be arrested if they keep it up. I can't wait until K finishes her essay. I have a best friend who is an amazing writer who maybe we'll enlist for feedback on her essay.

I think going to the police is a good idea about the mail. How far away does J live, Marsia? He was the first person I thought of when you mentioned that- either he or someone he got to do it.
Yay to so many things- K getting up early & getting stuff done & getting sun & exercise & getting a mouth guard & dental work done. You are moving forward, M! Well done, you xoxo

J lives about a half hour from here and doesn't have a car, so I don't think it's him directly. He's really good at getting people to help him with things though, so I agree that was what was probably happening. When we were putting up the new box, one of the neighbors came and talked with me and introduced me to her new puppy. She avoided telling us her name when we introduced ourselves. I made sure there was a long, awkward pause where I was expecting her to introduce herself after we did. After talking, she walked her puppy about 30 feet up the road and then came back after I didn't talk much because she wasn't sharing anything about herself, but seemed to be pumping me for information. They live less than half a block from us, so this was the world's shortest dog walk. After that her husband drove his car slowly in and out of their driveway about 5 times, which seemed weird, too. They could be who J enlisted to go through the mail. Then again they might just be nosey.

It does feel really good getting things done. Thanks!

You sound like you're getting into a really nice and steady routine--so good! I found the resistance bands so excellent for easy strength building routines and can sometimes be nice to include as part of my yoga routine as well...
Excellent about K's breakthrough for her college essay!

Thanks Liza! Neither of us is good at keeping up a routine, so I feel really good that we are doing this. I'll look up some resistance band yoga - sounds interesting. K is working on her essay as I type. So happy we have such a great book on how to write on a deep, personal level while also writing something interesting to read and well crafted. The author of our book is really inspirational, and it's been really motivational reading her book on this. It's one of those books you could read 4 or 5 times.

Yesterday was exhausting because the dentist had to cut away some of the gum to put on the temporary cap, and when I got home, it was so painful. I've been using hemp oil, which is supposed to not have any drug-like chemicals like marijuana has, but it relaxes you. It seems to help so far. It's also a pain reliever, so I rubbed it on my gums and had instant relief. I am also finally un-tensed enough to start feeling all the feelings I have been stuffing down, and wow, it's tiring feeling them, but also good and a massive relief not walking around that tense. Today we're both very tired, but enjoying being up reading wonderful things and doing school. We both learn so much each day!

 

[Cate]

Ouch to having your gums cut away!
I think I would be instigating a chat with that neighbour under the guise of giving her a heads-up that someone is tampering with the mail.
I'm glad that you are allowing yourself to feel all of the feelings & letting that tension go. Hugs to you & K xoxo

 

[Emilyrose]

Great job on getting the routine going. Sorry to hear your gums are hurting you - hope that eases fast! Glad you are releasing some of that tension - throw that bag of rocks in the river!

 

[liza3]

Hope that gum pain eases quickly--glad the hemp oil at least helped. Nice to hear you finding your rhythm to your days that suits you guys!