Marsia's Diary

[Marsia]

UTIs, not colds. Cranberries don't really do anything for colds either though, except through the vitamin C they contain. Having a lot of vit C can shorten the duration of cold symptoms by a day iirc, but you'd get plenty from just eating your 5 a day.

Hi Llama, I don't generally get UTIs. I've had that twice, and both times drinking some water with apple cider vinegar in it made it go away. I do get sore throats left and right from allergies to dust, perfume, toxic cleaning products, smoke, sometimes mold, ... so I need to have a lot of foods with vitamin C. I love cranberries because of the vitamin C, and it is potent enough where I just need a little and my sore throat is gone. I do need to take it easy on the juice though. That goes down way too easy!

Berries & citrus are my go-to fruits to ward off colds. I'm taking fruit away with us this weekend. I love Kiwi fruit & mangoes & have some in the fridge now. Yum. I might make a fruit salad to take with us instead of fruit that needs cutting up while we're away.

That sounds lovely & just what you needed

Thanks Cate, it was just the thing walking in the cool wind. Today was just as lovely. It rained all morning and I kept the window open and felt the lovely cool air, then went outside to enjoy the last sprinkle of rain.

The house is clean and nice now after the social worker visit. The social worker was so grouchy about coming here, I didn't like having her in the house. There isn't really anything she can do for us at this point, and she needs to close our case, and has talked about that for the last few months. Also the therapist in charge of the whole family treatment sent me and all the therapists and J an email saying that I declined a bunch of therapy for K, and she made it sound like I was being neglectful, so I had to write a rebuttal this morning about how the therapist was sick and all the time I spent researching and getting therapists and that I didn't want to reschedule health apts. to do therapy appointments, but I could have if someone had asked me. This therapist has been challenging like this before. She seems to think of divorcing people as all trying to get revenge on each other through the child. I picture her like a watchdog who is indiscriminate in who she guards the house against, where she'd bark at you to scare you away even if you live there. I just made myself a comfort toasted cheese and grilled ham sandwich, because I am just going to eat a snack for dinner to make up for it. The rest of our day should go a lot better!

 

[Cate]

What a thing to have to go through. As if life isn't throwing you enough curve balls!
That rain sounds refreshing. I'm glad you're getting respite from the heat xo

 

[Marsia]

Thanks Cate! I got really obsessed with the therapist being weird today and couldn't stop thinking about it. I think she wants me to communicate with her more (like that I had trouble scheduling individual sessions for K at first), but she also has me include J in the correspondences randomly, and that really makes me feel guarded and like that everything I say "can and will be used against me in a court of law," as they say. K is in individual therapy now. I had her think about what she wants to work on in therapy this time, and it was good that I did, because she had assumed that the therapist was in charge of what they talk about. So I told her some of the things I notice that she might want to discuss with the therapist, so I hope the session goes well. This therapist is obscenely expensive, so I hope she can remember to ask how the therapist usually works with these issues and talk about the things that are most pressing for her.

K is still not able to get up at a normal hour and get school done most days. I spend a lot of time just hugging her and making her nice soothing teas and things like that. I figure that we have the time, and so just loving her and not putting pressure on her for at least the first part of the morning may help her to feel supported, but I hope the therapist can help her to not wake up feeling terrible most mornings. I really don't know what I am doing, and will bring this up in my therapy and ask for help.

 

[Cate]

Oh, M I really dislike feeling like I am walking on eggshells. You do so well manoeuvring your way through this mire. I think you have a wonderful attitude towards K. I'm glad that you told her that her therapy is for her & should be hers to lead. She needs all of the love & you sure have that to provide

 

[Marsia]

Thank you Cate, this means a lot. It's so nice to get your wonderful support!!

 

[Llama]

Bringing up your own doubts and fears in therapy sounds like an excellent idea: you deserve support.

 

[Cate]

Thank you Cate, this means a lot. It's so nice to get your wonderful support!!

Always, M, always

 

[liza3]

Oh that whole situation with the social worker does sound really stressful You are such an obviously attentive and caring mom doing everything you can for K. It's too bad if they don't see that/acknowledge that. Sending you a big hug!

 

[Emilyrose]

I spend a lot of time just hugging her and making her nice soothing teas and things like that.

That's so lovely Marsia.

 

[Marsia]

Bringing up your own doubts and fears in therapy sounds like an excellent idea: you deserve support.

Thanks Llama!

Always, M, always

!

Oh that whole situation with the social worker does sound really stressful You are such an obviously attentive and caring mom doing everything you can for K. It's too bad if they don't see that/acknowledge that. Sending you a big hug!

Yes, and it was first the social worker and then the therapist who coordinates all the other therapists. Blah! And thanks for the nice compliment and the hug! I am feeling better now. I think that people forget that when our kid is going through something awful, so are we.

That's so lovely Marsia.

Thanks Em. I am so lucky that K and I stayed so close through all this!

Today was nice. Though K had trouble getting up and we didn't get caught up on school, we had a nice afternoon making a big bowl of vinegar-based coleslaw which has fresh ginger, grated carrot, and green onion tops in it, so it tastes really fresh and good. I used all my calories but one today because we made peanut butter mood (banana, peanut butter, milk, vanilla, cacao, and honey in a blender). The cacao is so nice. We just got back from a walk in the night where we didn't use a flashlight even though it was very dark. We walked to the river and it was really high tide (the ocean backs up for miles into the rivers here at high tide). It was so tranquil and lovely. Did some yoga and meditation today, so I am feeling more myself again. And the very best thing - I looked up art therapy programs (I have a concentration in art therapy from my graduate school program and loved those classes so much). Well there are 3 programs that have national accreditation in the US, and one is 40 minutes from the city we are thinking of moving to. This program has 100% placement of it's graduates! I cried with happiness when I found this out. So we have to go visit there soon now!!

Oh, and I forgot to say that we patched my bike tire, but the stem was damaged and leaked air, so we'll go to a bike shop tomorrow and get a new bike tire. We know how to put it on the bike now!

 

[Llama]

I looked up art therapy programs (I have a concentration in art therapy from my graduate school program and loved those classes so much). Well there are 3 programs that have national accreditation in the US, and one is 40 minutes from the city we are thinking of moving to. This program has 100% placement of it's graduates! I cried with happiness when I found this out. So we have to go visit there soon now!!

That would be wonderful! Fingers crossed you can make it happen.

 

[liza3]

Oh that river walk in the night sounds so lovely!
And that is so great about the art therapy program--sounds like a perfect fit!
Really glad to hear you feeling better.

 

[Emilyrose]

The art therapy program sounds brilliant! Also, I like the sound of peanut butter mood.

 

[Marsia]

Thanks everyone! We had a good day today. K went to an art fair with her friend and I met the friend's mom and we hit it off, and I have a new friend here. She's also Californian, and also doesn't fit in here. They lived in Merida, Mexico before this, and that's somewhere I had researched very seriously as a place to move, and it sounds just as wonderful as how I researched it would be. I also got the coolest psychology book in a bookstore on a topic I love that I actually practiced as a psychology intern, and the field has come a long way since I studied it 20 years ago. I am excited to maybe get back into my field. I feel that a lot of progress has happened and I really want to understand it all. Anyway, in the book I got, the author talked about even helping murderers in jail to heal from the traumas that made them like that, and some passages he wrote helped me to understand J better, and I thought that was amazing.

We got back pretty late, so I had a late dinner, so probably no weight loss tomorrow, but that's fine. I am just enjoying calorie counting, which I think is so funny, because I had really dreaded it, but now I actually like it.

 

[Llama]

How lovely that you made a new friend.

I think prisons should be correctional facilities rather than money-making punishment factories. Yes, it's important to protect society from some people but storing them away under miserable circumstances doesn't achieve that goal unless you put everyone away for life.

 

[liza3]

Sounds like a really great day Marsia--always lovely to make a new friend! And very cool about gaining new insight into J through that book. I agree that proper rehabilitation and treating people well is always a good move.

That's good about enjoying calorie counting now--I'm the same way--sometimes a drag to get started but I usually find it actually quite fun and interesting and with today's apps it's made so easy. I really like getting the insights too into what nutrients I'm getting lots of and which ones I'm kind of missing out on. I feel like I've learned a lot about health and nutrition these past few years using the app and seeing what my food choices are giving me.

 

[Emilyrose]

Glad you are enjoying the calorie counting and found an interesting book to study.

 

[Marsia]

How lovely that you made a new friend.

I think prisons should be correctional facilities rather than money-making punishment factories. Yes, it's important to protect society from some people but storing them away under miserable circumstances doesn't achieve that goal unless you put everyone away for life.

I agree about prisons. I think what happens is that if you give prisoners help, the general public also wants that same help. It would be great if these things were available to everyone really!

Sounds like a really great day Marsia--always lovely to make a new friend! And very cool about gaining new insight into J through that book. I agree that proper rehabilitation and treating people well is always a good move.

That's good about enjoying calorie counting now--I'm the same way--sometimes a drag to get started but I usually find it actually quite fun and interesting and with today's apps it's made so easy. I really like getting the insights too into what nutrients I'm getting lots of and which ones I'm kind of missing out on. I feel like I've learned a lot about health and nutrition these past few years using the app and seeing what my food choices are giving me.

Thanks Liza, I feel like I am on a roll as far as finding the right thing at the right time the last few days, and that book was the perfect thing. It's so funny about calorie counting - I feel like a kid who didn't want to take a bath and waited a week, and then you couldn't pry them out of the bath! I am finding that having a low carb, higher fat day followed by the inverse is working really well for me. I don't get that sleepy thing of having too many carbs this way, and I don't feel hungry from a lack of carbs if I have more every other day. And it's been so good getting salt and sugar back to normal - I feel so better already!

Thanks Em! I have no idea why I am suddenly enjoying the little things in life so much again, but am soaking it in while it lasts!

Today was a punk flea market that K wanted to go to, so we took her and a friend and it was so fun and creative with such friendly happy people. I talked with such wonderful people in the booths! There were spider web and dried bug and dried wildflower pictures, fun skeletons of little animals framed, crocheted dragons and fantasy animals, clay spooky dolls that were really artful, lots of fun clothes and gorgeous jewelry, ... We had such a good time. Then we went out for sandwiches and then a walk on these beautiful boardwalks that follow a creek out into a big fishing boat harbor. The girls had fun digging in the sand down to a purplish sand layer making pictures in the sand, and we took a bunch of pics of red clawed little fiddler crabs in big groups, periwinkle snails that cling to the marsh grasses, and lots of marsh birds who aren't afraid of people and stand on the dock railings next to all the people hanging out soaking in the scenery. Really happy day again today. I'm still just down 2 pounds, but 2 pounds is 2 pounds!

 

[Llama]

That flea market sounds amazing!

 

[Cate]

And the very best thing - I looked up art therapy programs (I have a concentration in art therapy from my graduate school program and loved those classes so much). Well there are 3 programs that have national accreditation in the US, and one is 40 minutes from the city we are thinking of moving to. This program has 100% placement of it's graduates! I cried with happiness when I found this out. So we have to go visit there soon now!!

Ooh, this is exciting!

We had a good day today. K went to an art fair with her friend and I met the friend's mom and we hit it off, and I have a new friend here.

as is this. How lovely xo
The flea market sounds like loads of fun.
I see you looking towards the light, M & seeing ahead, instead of looking back. Good things are in the future xoxo