Floater's diary

LaMaria said:
Carbs might help with sleepiness, too. Not that that's helpful to say now given the time, but hey.
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Carbs are really good for sleep, yeah! I had two pan-fried tortillas with blue cheese before bed. I still couldn't sleep until 3AM, but that's not too rare for me really.

I woke up at 10AM feeling refreshed, took the dog out, am now having coffee, and will have the last of the lentil soup in a minute. It's definitely important that I'll get my sleeping pills today, because I plan to go to my parents' house tomorrow to get my old art portfolio from when I was in highschool. (My parents are in France at the moment.) It's guaranteed to stir up a lot of stuff so I need to know I can sleep afterwards.

Nera is such a sweetie. Her 12th birthday will be in two days, I'm going to give her liver casserole and sing her Happy Birthday and film her reaction, like each year. 😂❤️
 
I had the last of the lentil soup and a two-egg omelette wrapped in a toasted tortilla. Perfect breakfast!

I have noticed that the times when I've made pea or lentil stew/soup, none of it ever goes to waste. I think it's because when I'm feeling anxious, soup is less intimidating to eat than solids. So I'll keep using soups as the basis of my diet for as long as they keep working well for me. They are also such a great way to make sure I meet my veg quota!

I put some green lentils to soak. This time I'll use onions, a big zuchhini grated, a couple of grated potatoes, a turnip, and butter beans for the soup. It's going to look and taste completely different from what I've eaten for the past days, but it will be just as good and healthy.
 
Look at my little queen lounging about :D <3
 

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Ok, new batch of lentil soup is in the oven and I'm sure it will turn out fantastic. Because I just can't go without eating until it's done, I had two toasted tortillas with bacon, blue cheese, and button mushrooms for lunch. A delightful lunch/snack!

I ran out of time to go give the bio bank sample during the assistance visit, because the optician took so long. They were horrified about how badly the glasses had irritated my mole, and told me that in the future I might need to start using titanium and plastic frames for my glasses. But there should not be any issues for as long as the paint layer on the frame stays intact. (Thanks to how my brain works, I now feel itchy all over :D :D ) But I still had time to go to the pharmacy and return a package, so 3/4 isn't bad at all.

I started prepping the lentil soup as soon as I got home. Now I´m having a cup of coffee and waiting for 20 minutes (at this point the stew will have been in the oven for an hour), then I'll turn the power off and leave the covered saucepan in the slowly cooling oven, while I'm outside wit Nera, walking in the lovely, crispy, fresh air.

Oh! I'll also need to buy limes, apples and bananas!
 
Out of the blue, a panic attack while I was buying the lime & co. I suddenly felt too fat for my new jacket and thought I'm just a stupid cow who can't even pick a correct sized jacket. The fact that the jacket sat above my asscheeks and not below them like I imagined it would on a cis guy made me want to curl out of my skin. I started crying on my way home, hoping no one would notice, than a full blown panic cry at home. I had to call a helpline and the lady was clearly not very well versed in trans stuff.

I still feel totally paranoid. Like what if I look like a stupid idiot in it and it just looks hideous and I'm too stupid to realize it?

EDIT: I called another helpline person and feel much better. Lentil soup turned out great.
 
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Even of you did it would be none on anyone's business but I'm sure you DO look great because you're very critical of yourself and you loved it right away.

:grouphug: I hope you feel better soon and the lentil soup will be delicious.
 
LaMaria said:
Even of you did it would be none on anyone's business but I'm sure you DO look great because you're very critical of yourself and you loved it right away.

:grouphug: I hope you feel better soon and the lentil soup will be delicious.
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:grouphug: Thank you, yeah I feel much better and the soup is great. I think I'm just overly emotional because of having to visit my childhood home tomorrow. :grouphug:
 
I'm sure you look wonderful in your new jacket. Picture yourself being a superhero in it when you put it on. It's your coat of armour & you rock in it!
Try to get out as much of your stuff that you want while you have the opportunity. Can you take someone with you? Imagine LaMa & I there with you giving you moral support 💪 :grouphug:
 
Admittedly: Tru might be a more imposing protector but if you're going to be a superhero you'll need sidekicks. Can I be the weird one that makes almost-unrelated remarks that may or may not be conscious innuendo?
 
PS at this point I might need to draw fanfic of people on a WEIGHT LOSS FORUM whom I have never met. :D It would be fine by me otherwise, but I really don't want to draw @Cate in a Kakapo suit just because it's the only bird I can think of. But wait... @Cate would you be OK with being depicted as a Tazzie Devil? Oh and @Lama I have zero idea what your superhero persona would be like :D :D

Mine would be, IDK, a depressed knife-happy Finnish guy I guess lol. (I'm not knife-happy but I am depressed :p )
 
Cate said:
I'm perfectly happy to be a Tazzie Devil :D
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This is f*ing perfect. I'll draw you as one. Do you have any hobbies or likes that I could include? I mean Archie yeah but he's a dog person. Gardening I recall? And a good rosé wine as a treat? Would a Tazzie against a sunset working in a garden with a cooler of snacks and rosé be OK?

- if not, just hit me up with suggestions, I need motivation to draw :D
 
Sounds good to me! Bubbles in preference to rosé, please🥂 or red wine 🍷Cheers!
I have mountains in the background- I have this view every day. I never tire of it.
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I loved this dragon cloud!
Dragon sky.jpg
 
That's lovely! I did an initial drawing of a tazzie with a gardening tool in hand, but it just didn't take. It's not horrid, but very much a first sketch. The "bones" are still there, I'l do my best next time! And even bad drawing is good practice. It's been a year since I last draw so me drawing at all is... I mean it's a lot. Feels so good to be inspired even if it's just a joke with online friends <3

What I really want to do is a Beatrix Potter type of thing... I gotta grab my proper watercolors (not the cheap pencil ones) and study Tazzies more! With those backgounds! Yay, a project!
 
My superpowers are talking incessantly, drinking godawful amounts of water without having to pee, and remembering only the most disjointed tidbits of knowledge :p
 
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