Floater's diary

It took a while to find my appetite today, but I've had couscous salad, chickpeas, feta and tomato sauce, vegan cheeze with guac, and have a roll dough rising as I'm writing this. I modded the recipe a bit; it called for 10dl of graham flour, I went with 7dl of graham flour, 1dl of rolled oats, 1dl of soy protein, and 1dl of wheat gluten flour. Let's hope they'll turn out well!
 
Floater said:
But it's the happy kind of hangover - the kind you know is a result of a good time with a dear friend.
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:)

Floater said:
I've had couscous salad, chickpeas, feta and tomato sauce, vegan cheeze with guac, and have a roll dough rising
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Yum!! Hope the rolls turn out well.
 
liza said:
:)


Yum!! Hope the rolls turn out well.
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They turned more into flatbreads than rolls - goes to show that cooking is an art, but baking is chemistry :D They still taste nice though and the consistency is soft and nice. The lemon flavored oil is not my favorite thing but it works quite nicely in the flatbreads.
 
liza said:
Oh dear Floater, sorry to hear that. Sending you a hug :grouphug:
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thank you so much. I haven't been able to eat today and had a really intense derealization episode just now. Got scared of one of my neighbor's kids and now keep wondering if he was real at all.

I emailed the assistance people, have the next meeting tomorrow at 19:30, so I'm not alone in this. Also for contingency posted on my socials that I'm starting to lose it, in case I end up sending weird DMs to friends. This is absolutely horrid but I'll survive. And I'm not having any self harm thoughts, I'm just out of it and scared of everything and that is still a better option
 
More hugs my friend :grouphug: People love you and you've learned so much in the past year: this will pass, no matter how much it sucks right now.
 
Still hanging in there. I had a burger and fries last night. Sleep was broken... I kept jolting up from the smallest noises, was covered in sweat and having nightmares.

The new dishwasher just got installed. I think the guy could tell I'm a bit loopy, or maybe I was imagining. I hid in the other room for the most of the time. Now having coffee and heading to the shower after that. Then I should try to eat something.
 
Floater said:
The new dishwasher just got installed. I think the guy could tell I'm a bit loopy, or maybe I was imagining.
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Don´t worry my dude: people who come into other folks´ homes cease to be weirded out by basically anything very soon. As long as a place isn´t dangerously filthy and the inhabitants aren´t actively aggressive they dgaf. Don´t ask me how I know :D
 
LaMaria said:
Don´t worry my dude: people who come into other folks´ homes cease to be weirded out by basically anything very soon. As long as a place isn´t dangerously filthy and the inhabitants aren´t actively aggressive they dgaf. Don´t ask me how I know :D
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That's a relief to hear. After he left, I ran the new washer, did laundry, and wiped the floors with a dry mop to get the worst of the dog hair out. Having a shower helped a bit. I just had two hamburger patties and put the remaining two in the fridge. For some reason red meat seems palatable even when I have no appetite otherwise. I also had two dried flatbreads for a bit of carbs.

My body is clearly still in overdrive, I'm flinchy and have a constant ringing in my ears. I also have a rash around my mouth - I sometimes react to stress by breaking out in rashes. Eating did help me mentally though, as much as it makes me feel like a werewolf to eat plain hamburger meat with spring onions and soy sauce. At least I cooked it first, har har.

I had to throw out some couscous salad and a bowl of tomato and feta soup. But considering that that's all I've had to discard this whole month, I'm not going to cry about it.
 
LaMaria said:
The mouth rash thing is so unpleasant; hope it heals soon.
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Thanks, me too. Moisturizing doesn't seem to help either.

Lunch was a pita bread with salad and a hamburger patty. To my annoyance, I found my remaining sweet bell peppers covered in mold. It also occurred to me that storing medium rare hamburger patties in the fridge is probably not food safe so I'll eat the last one today as well. Whatever, as long as I eat
 
Like with babies: fed is best. If the mouth rash thing is anything like the ones I used to get the only thing that helps is going to be dabbing on hydrocortisone cream.
 
Glad to hear you are getting some food in you Floater. I know how hard it can be to eat when anxious but it usually does help.
I hope you continue to improve and this wave passes quickly.
 
Two tuna melt pita breads with tomato concentrate and corn are just about to go into the oven. My body is still going haywire but I no longer fear losing my sanity totally. I think I'll have to make sure to not over-exert myself over the next few days and I'll be OK.
 
Cate said:
Wrap yourself up in cotton wool (figuratively) for a couple of days & hopefully you will feel better each day. Take good care of yourself, :grouphug:
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Thank you so much Cate.

Night was pretty bad. Slept fully clothed and without a cover (to trick my brain to feel safer and more mobile), woke up at 5 from a nightmare. Took the dog out at 7, and had breakfast just now. Two pita breads with green salad, one with a burger patty and another with a fried egg and cheese.

I have cramps, so I have to remember to take my potassium pills. I forgot them for a while, and that might also affect my mood/alertness. I feel quite accomplished for having a hot meal for a breakfast. I'll try to sleep for a while now
 
LaMaria said:
I hope you managed to get some more sleep :grouphug:
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I did, thanks! Too little still, but I can try to take a nap before assistance comes at 6PM. I'll have to be focused when that happens because I have a student loan thing to take care of and it was planned for today.
 
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