Floater's diary
- Thread starter Floater
- Start date
Cate
Long term member
Yay!
Floater
Well-known member
Breakfast: last portion of chicken and beans with cheese. Heikki moved in with me a year ago so I celebrated by deep cleaning his cage and ordering him a new hidey hut to replace the badly gnawed current one, and a second little pellet dish because sometimes he empties it without me noticing and that´s not good. One bigger dish also isn´t ideal because then he squats on the sides and poops in the pellets lol.
Floater
Well-known member
I'll share him your well-wishes, forum mom!Happy Arvo anniversary, Heiki
Can't sleep. I think I'll have a cup of coffee, a snack, and an urban hike to a 24/7 mcdonalds 4,1 km away & back. Can't handle the pool most likely and all the people there. And I need something else to eat than dried fruit and chocolate. I need to think.
Floater
Well-known member
Snack: dried fruit.
CW: sexual harassment.
I don´t remember if I´ve written about this here. But half a year ago I told teh autism assistance organization that there are two cis male workers who I refuse to work with. This was met with a negative reaction, they stopped coming but I was strongly told I´m overreacting and misbehaving.
However. I had a good reason and I should have done it much earlier. These two men, let´s call the Uncle Touchy and Uncle Stinky, were acting inappropriately towards me for a long time and slowly escalating.
Stinky was less bad of the two but still bad enough. During his visit he would just sit around and tell inapproppriate jokes and look at me and sweat. I figured at first that as my sense of humor can get pretty dark, maybe he´s trying to relate to me. But I also begun to make sure that certain topics are off limits. If I made jokes about my own childhood or traumatic experiences, I made sure to say _I_ can joke about these things as a survivor. But he didn´t listen. I kicked him out after he made a pedophilia joke. Reminder: I´m a survivor of CSA.
Touchy was worse. As he was gay, I initially didn´t mind him as much. I figured he couldn´t possibly get turned on by my body so I should be safe even if I often felt uncomfortable in his presence. I was also in a crisis because of things happening with the trans clinic and felt like I needed all possible allies. He had connections to the religion my parents had been brought up in and would share his experiences. I didn´t mind that at first. And he was supportive of my identity. But I did notice he was starting to stretch my limits little by little. He´d comment on my workout results and would offer me massages. I always declined and looked disgusted. He didn´t stop. He also wanted to touch my hair and often said how he misses his hair (when I had talked about testosterone and hair loss). I obviously denied this too. I was so stressed out and gaslit that I just thought maybe he´s a bit stupid? And doesn´t mean it? But there´s no way he didn´t know.
Today I left text messages explaining the situation and that I can not possibly continue as the client of the org unless this is handled somehow. Not by putting me in the same room with the perps and them giving me a half assed apology. But future cases of sexual harassment in the homes of the people they are supposed to care for. There needs to be clear guidelines and disciplinary practices in place, as well as regular forms available for clients to judge their level of safety. I also broke my silence to call the HQ and the person there told me it´s good I called. I told them they need safety training. This is irredeemable.
I will rather suffer alone than be subjected to sexual harassment in my own home.
CW: sexual harassment.
I don´t remember if I´ve written about this here. But half a year ago I told teh autism assistance organization that there are two cis male workers who I refuse to work with. This was met with a negative reaction, they stopped coming but I was strongly told I´m overreacting and misbehaving.
However. I had a good reason and I should have done it much earlier. These two men, let´s call the Uncle Touchy and Uncle Stinky, were acting inappropriately towards me for a long time and slowly escalating.
Stinky was less bad of the two but still bad enough. During his visit he would just sit around and tell inapproppriate jokes and look at me and sweat. I figured at first that as my sense of humor can get pretty dark, maybe he´s trying to relate to me. But I also begun to make sure that certain topics are off limits. If I made jokes about my own childhood or traumatic experiences, I made sure to say _I_ can joke about these things as a survivor. But he didn´t listen. I kicked him out after he made a pedophilia joke. Reminder: I´m a survivor of CSA.
Touchy was worse. As he was gay, I initially didn´t mind him as much. I figured he couldn´t possibly get turned on by my body so I should be safe even if I often felt uncomfortable in his presence. I was also in a crisis because of things happening with the trans clinic and felt like I needed all possible allies. He had connections to the religion my parents had been brought up in and would share his experiences. I didn´t mind that at first. And he was supportive of my identity. But I did notice he was starting to stretch my limits little by little. He´d comment on my workout results and would offer me massages. I always declined and looked disgusted. He didn´t stop. He also wanted to touch my hair and often said how he misses his hair (when I had talked about testosterone and hair loss). I obviously denied this too. I was so stressed out and gaslit that I just thought maybe he´s a bit stupid? And doesn´t mean it? But there´s no way he didn´t know.
Today I left text messages explaining the situation and that I can not possibly continue as the client of the org unless this is handled somehow. Not by putting me in the same room with the perps and them giving me a half assed apology. But future cases of sexual harassment in the homes of the people they are supposed to care for. There needs to be clear guidelines and disciplinary practices in place, as well as regular forms available for clients to judge their level of safety. I also broke my silence to call the HQ and the person there told me it´s good I called. I told them they need safety training. This is irredeemable.
I will rather suffer alone than be subjected to sexual harassment in my own home.
Floater
Well-known member
Thank you forum mom
Floater
Well-known member
Snack: Red Bull, 50g of salami sticks. My services by the autism assistance organization may be terminated because I reported the harassment. They are in contact to the disability services. I sent the disability services a message as well, stating I don´t think it´s fair I´m left to fend for myself only because I reported harassment.
We´ll see what happens. TBH I´m not hopeful for a good outcome. Disabled people have no right to bodily autonomy apparently.
We´ll see what happens. TBH I´m not hopeful for a good outcome. Disabled people have no right to bodily autonomy apparently.
Cate
Long term member
SO important! xo