Floater's diary

You're certainly getting your steps in! Keeping a diary with markers for stress, appetite, money, hormones, and maybe activity (?) could perhaps help you find correlations. Unless of course that would become a thing to stress/obsess over.
 
LaMaria said:
You're certainly getting your steps in! Keeping a diary with markers for stress, appetite, money, hormones, and maybe activity (?) could perhaps help you find correlations. Unless of course that would become a thing to stress/obsess over.
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I consider this to be my diary. While it's not as organized as what you suggested, and as such harder to translate to other people, I'm a "fuzzy computing" kind of person. I pick up the correlations over time through paying attention. <3

About to have fish balls and potatoes, luckily feeling hungry. I'll be fine tonight.
 
Do you find you worry or stress less while you're walking? I might start out angry or upset, but I'm not thinking of anything much at all before long. I always feel better after a walk with my dog.
 
Cate said:
Do you find you worry or stress less while you're walking? I might start out angry or upset, but I'm not thinking of anything much at all before long. I always feel better after a walk with my dog.
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Yes, definitely!
 
Woke up at 5am again and couldn't get back to sleep, so I took the dog for a nice walk and chilled on the computer for a while. It's so funny, but I tried on a t-shirt I bought last summer and haven't worn since, because I've been so convinced that I won't fit in it... But it fits without any issues. Which reminds me that I probably get swelling and bloatedness mixed with having "gained weight".

I'm making myself another pita bread, this time filled with padrone peppers, cherry tomatoes, potato cubes, edamame and sausage slices that I'm roasting in the oven with spices as I'm writing this; once the filling is done, I'll warm up the pita bread and add in the rest of my shredded cheddar. I think I'll try to have a nap after that and maybe skip my meds today or only take a short effect one to avoid getting jittery.
 
I've had a strange day; a storm has hit Finland, and it's dangerous to walk outside due to flying branches, so we just popped outside for long enough to let Nera take care of her business. She was shivering and needed a toweling down after our walk even though we were only outside for a few minutes!

I've taken a lot of naps and had odd sensations in my body, pinches and aches and such. But mentally I feel pretty good and I had an egg, tomatoes, potatoes and fish balls for lunch, and am now making sausage pasta with edamame, peas, padron peppers and cherry tomatoes. (Can you tell that money is tight based on me rotating only a few food items for all meals lol...?) At least I have an appetite!

I also came up with an easy visual aid to remind myself whether I'm eating enough veg - it occurred to me that when I cook at home, I eat more than I think I do, because I sprinkle a bit of veg into almost everything, so today I've tried to seek positive reinforcement by putting the veggies into a drinking glass before adding them to my foods. That way I feel better about my meals. :)
 
The pasta was good. I watched an interesting Zoom lecture about Tibetan buddhist practitioners who die during meditation and whose bodies stay fresh unusually long, it's believed to be because of the special mental state that they die in so that the consciousness kind of lingers in the clinically dead body, suspended in a state of usual clarity. The freshness has been documented, they always rot in the end and some say that once the decomposition starts it happens usually fast. The spiritual beliefs behind it were super interesting.

And then I had some oatmeal, rye bread with cheese, and a cup of coffee because I just felt like having some coffee despite it being so late.
 
Good to hear you have your appetite back for now :)
I only like stormy weather as long as I can still go out, especially for a walk on the beach.
 
@LaMaria walks on the beach during a storm are magical!! The weather had calmed down enough towards the evening that I could take Nera for a decent walk across the fields. I'm glad I had my beat up shoes on, the road was so flooded that it was useless to try and avoid the puddles. But there's something freeing in being able to splish splosh through puddles knowing that I'll just go back home and put the shoes to dry, and no one will reprimand me for "playing too rough" and getting my clothes and shoes wet. Girls and AFAB folks are really treated unfairly in that respect.
 
We had a wild storm here on Tuesday night & I swear if we didn't live in a stone house it would have blown away! Splish sploshing through puddles is fun. I really must try on the gumboots we have to see if I can walk in them.
 
Floater said:
But there's something freeing in being able to splish splosh through puddles knowing that I'll just go back home and put the shoes to dry, and no one will reprimand me for "playing too rough" and getting my clothes and shoes wet. Girls and AFAB folks are really treated unfairly in that respect.
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Too true. Thankfully my mom never cared about that sort of thing.
 
I'm down 3kg in a week. Granted, it has to be water weight, but it makes me feel much better about the highest weight.
 
LaMaria said:
You must've felt pretty bad a week ago; 3kg of water weight is a lot!
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I have always had issues with water retention... It has to do with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome most likely, the soft tissues don't work as they should and water gets pushed into the space between cells, is what I've heard can happen. It's disgusting, looks and feels disgusting. I'm ashamed. And the worst thing is that there's limited options in preventing it. I wish I could just stop existing.
 
Breakfast was a boiled egg and a pita bread with edamame, sausage, cheese, padrone peppers, potato and hot sauce. I'll try to stretch my food supplies and not go grocery shopping today... I'll probably have to go tomorrow unless I find something in the freezer and cupboards that I've forgotten even existed.
 
Cate said:
I hope you mean that you wish you could stop it existing.
:grouphug:
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Sorry, it was a moment of darkness. Yes, I would much prefer to have control over what my body is doing and not have to deal with it just doing whatever it pleases and bringing me discomfort. :grouphug:
 
Rice, peas and fish balls for lunch. Feeling anxious about the amount of oil I used in cooking and trying to not freak out. It wasn't that much in reality, but I imagine it coating my mouth and sliding into my T&A. Hello, ED thoughts
 
Floater said:
I have always had issues with water retention... It has to do with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome most likely
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That makes sense. I can kind of understand how horrible that must feel. If it's any comfort: it never looks as bad to others as it feels (and looks) to you. When my digestion is off, especially when allergies are involved, I feel like I'm literally 40 kg heavier and that's what I see in the mirror. Yet nobody else sees it.
Have you tried rerouting the idea of oil sliding into your system to watching it nourish your skin, nerves, brain, and cell membranes?
 
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