Always good to have a goal at the gym.
I'm going for my "pull-ups by the end of summer" goal again. I've never stayed consistent long enough to reach it but this year I'm starting well ahead of time so who knows.
Floater's diary
- Thread starter Floater
- Start date
I'm going for my "pull-ups by the end of summer" goal again. I've never stayed consistent long enough to reach it but this year I'm starting well ahead of time so who knows.
Floater
Well-known member
Had a lovely walk with a friend. She had great news to share - she´s trying for a baby alone - and I really wish it will work out for her in the best possible way and that if she gets a kid, I get to know the kid! Exciting! Feels like there´s a sun in my heart.
Breakfast: four meat+veggie balls, rice, avocado, scallions and furikake type seasoning.
Breakfast: four meat+veggie balls, rice, avocado, scallions and furikake type seasoning.
Cate
Long term member
Cate
Long term member
That would have been a bit frustrating. Is that very unusual? How long do you normally spend on it?
Floater
Well-known member
@Llama or @Trusylver are the knowledgeable ones, but (presumably) if he was training for max strength, sets are 1-3 repetitions each with 2-3 mins of break between each set (or something like that). I didn´t watch too closely what he was up to but a lot of it seemed to consist of sitting on the bench with a phone in hand. I have seen people train for max strength before and no one ever occupied the bench for more than 15 mins. But that´s the nature of shared workout spaces, all sorts of people come and share the joy
I had a portion of tofu curry and 200g of cottage cheese when I got home from the gym. Assistance came over, I did some cleaning and cleaned Heikki´s cage and did laundry. Then I finished the painting I´ve been doing for formerly Ms Priest, nowadays Ms Civilian Friend, she´ll come pick it up on Thursday. I´ll post a pic of it tomorrow when I get natural light. Of course I have an issue with letting a project go, but it´s at the point where working more on it won´t improve the quality anymore lol.
Had a 0,33dl can of Cherry Coke during my meeting and after it I had two slices of rye bread w marg, a portion of tofu curry, and a bowl of pineapple & mango. I hope this will be enough for today but if not, I´ll have some cold rice with... Some toppings.
I have to mention that I visited a bra boutique today. It was a bizarre experience. I really need new bras and for obvious reasons I would rather not think about the topic at all. I´ve been living in soft sports bras for years and it´s the least horrible option available for me, but I wanted to see if I could find some kind of a solution that would let me jog. Well, I found nothing and the whole experience was pretty disturbing to me due to dysphoria. I handled it pretty well though. (I have previously had a breakdown in a bra store when I was still so deep in the closet I barely knew who I was myself.) I am obviously not into getting pretty, cute bras for myself, but I feel sad for the ladies and folks who would like to get such items but have a big bust, because oh man the bigger sizes were all fugly. I learned that I am currently size 90E but even the one bra that fit cup- and circumference wise had straps that were way too short. At least I can congratulate myself for having built impressive trapezoids and whatever the little fillets on each side of your spine are called. I guess it can be considered a form of gender euphoria to note that I have become too manly for shopping at a bra store (except for the titties, of course lol).
In the SMART meeting I talked a bit about feeling regret about how my past drinking has affected my current weight. I´m glad I brought it up, because the discussion got interesting, and while I can´t share details, regret is a common experience and of course pretty useless as an emotion when it comes to recovery/healthy and balanced living. It was a bit dysphoria-inducing when a nice, well-meaning lady told me that I´m an attractive woman, but I´m closeted in the meetings (except for the LGBTQ+ ones) so that sometimes happens and it´s understandable. I just nodded politely.
I forgot to mention that I had the second to last sex therapist´s interview for the trans clinic yesterday. It went well especially considering that I said something rude to the interviewer the last time (on Fri). Nothing too bad but we were talking about something really triggering and I got snappy for a second. Yesterday she told me that considering the heavy subject matter she thinks I´ve been doing really well. I take it as her not having been insulted and being able to view what I said as something stemming from real distress. So that´s great.
All kinds of thoughts in my head. But the biggest one right now is that for the first time in a while, life feels manageable. I´ve missed that a lot.
@Trusylver are the knowledgeable ones, but (presumably) if he was training for max strength, sets are 1-3 repetitions each with 2-3 mins of break between each set (or something like that). I didn´t watch too closely what he was up to but a lot of it seemed to consist of sitting on the bench with a phone in hand. I have seen people train for max strength before and no one ever occupied the bench for more than 15 mins. But that´s the nature of shared workout spaces, all sorts of people come and share the joy
2-3 minutes rest is actually too short for many strength athletes working on maximal strength, however in a public general purpose gym, waiting for up to 10 minute between sets is a bit obnoxious. Considerate gym users would not be on their phone and would allow other gym goers to work in if using a similar weight.
your not alone in your loathing for bra shopping, those shops are definitely not set up for people with muscle, I have the not so joyful situation of having a large bust combined with a lot of muscle, the straps never fit right and slide halfway off my shoulder due to my traps. Having gender identity problems before you can transition on top of that would make the experience all the worse.
Floater
Well-known member
@Trusylver thank you for the correction! And support 
I did need to eat more so I had 2/3 of an 80g chunk of truffle cheese I had bought a while ago, as well as a couple of handfuls of crackers. I hope the carbs and salt will help me to not run between the toilet and my bed all the time. Oh and I also signed the painting even though it felt silly. I need to learn to put more thought into respecting myself and taking credit for my work and talent is a part of that.
I did need to eat more so I had 2/3 of an 80g chunk of truffle cheese I had bought a while ago, as well as a couple of handfuls of crackers. I hope the carbs and salt will help me to not run between the toilet and my bed all the time. Oh and I also signed the painting even though it felt silly. I need to learn to put more thought into respecting myself and taking credit for my work and talent is a part of that.
Floater
Well-known member
I slept like shit but woke up to a positive phone call: I have been approved for a special needs swim card, so in the future I get to swim for a whole year for the price of 55e in all my town´s swimming halls, and if memory serves, it doesn´t have a time limitation like my current discount card which is only valid until 4PM on weekdays. Especially as the spring and summer are just around the corner, it will be nice to be able to pop by the pool for shorter workouts whenever I feel like it , instead of having to get in my money´s worth of working out for each visit.
Breakfast: tofu curry, a small bowl of mango.
Breakfast: tofu curry, a small bowl of mango.