Floater's diary

Today has been spent in a dissociative haze. I dislocated my right little finger a couple of times while cooking, banged it against the fridge shelves and cupboards. Dissociation often makes me clumsy AND simultaneously I have difficulties registering pain. Even now I just get frustrated about my pinky not fitting the right keys as I write. It´s numb and the knuckle is swollen.

When autism assistance came over, she noted that I speak unusually fast. I also pee like a horse every 30-45 mins, which speaks its own language about my system being under serious stress. Need to drink water constantly to not get dry mouth. Had a rye bread sandwich with marg, hummus and arugula and a sugared ginger beer as a snack. Assistance person drove me to the gym. I did a very light 15-min circuit training and still somehow hurt my wrist and left shoulder. Locker room porridge. Took Ibuprofen at home.

Snack: three roasted beets and 200g of cottage cheese.

I think I´m going to go put the sauna on. I just wish this trans clinic bullshit was past me.

EDIT: snack before sauna because I´m feeling dizzy: cold rice, avocado, sauerkraut, arugula.
 
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Hugs, my friend. May it all pass quickly
 
Thanks, Llama.

I made two portions of mashed potatoes, had one with a dollop of marg and the other will go to the fridge for later. I feel hungry for protein so I´ll have a bowl of the smoked ham and lentil soup I made earlier. Also had four Brazil nuts and took out a chunk of Stilton to be had as a bedtime snack with some crackers.
 
Breakfast was smoked ham & red lentil soup. Ran some errands with autism assistance person.

Lunch: two-egg omelette, one whole broccoli lightly steamed, a rye bread sandwich with marg, hummus & arugula.

EDIT: prepped two portions of rice which I seasoned with a mix of salt, rice wine vinegar, maple syrup and fresh, finely chopped ginger, to be had cold later.
 
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I ate a small bowl of pineapple and pomegranate seeds and some blue cheese, crackers and cherry tomatoes before the interview and some during it. Helped give my hands something to do so I didn´t fly off the handle. It was like pulling teeth but I made it through.

My ex promised to pop by later and bring me some Toblerone - he´s at the airport now. I´m mentally and physically exhausted with a huge cold sore on my lip. Next interview on Monday.
 
Dinner was... Weird to say the least lol: four pralines, cold rice with avocado, arugula, and sauerkraut, and a rye bread sandwich with hummus & marg. I may need to eat something high in protein later, but right now I just want to go lie down for a bit.
 
Today has been a lawless wasteland: napping until afternoon, chocolate for breakfast, a short walk, sauna, vacuuming... A schedule-less rest day. Aqua jogging tomorrow!
 
Breakfast: smoked ham and red lentil stew, 200 g of cottage cheese. Aqua jogged for 90 mins, I was in great mood and the workout felt light and easy, which I take as 90 mins being a suitable maintenance cardio goal. Had locker room porridge and am now having a three-egg omelette, cherry tomatoes, sprouts, and a piece of baguette with salami and marg.
 
Food-wise today wasn´t too great, but not too shabby either. Slept until noon. Breakfast was ice cream, Coke and chocolate, whoops. "Lunch" was a handful of cherry tomatoes and four Brazil nuts, took a quick release ADHD med and hit the gym. Gym was fine. I´ve decided to bench 40kg by Midsummer which is very doable as my maintenance weight has been 30, and 50 by the end of the year. I just need to remember to start with bench presses - otherwise I get scared I´ll injure myself without a spotter, and don´t dare to explore bigger weights.

Had a Taco Bell spicy chicken griller and a M-150 energy drink as my post workout "meal". At home I did some cleaning and ate 200g of cottage cheese and two rye bread sandwiches with hummus, Schwarzwald ham and sprouts. After that I went to the sauna, ate a small bowl of mango & cherries and did food prep: four portions of panko-crusted meatballs with a ton of grated veggies and sauerkraut in the batter, and a big batch of yellow curry with veggies, tofu and potatoes.

Ate one 4-meatball portion and will now have a bowl of curry. Put rice to soak for tomorrow.
 
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Cate said:
Your day ended up being a good one by the sounds of it. Good luck today (it's almost 9 am here) :grouphug:
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Thank you! Have a lovely day! It´s almost midnight as I´m writing this. I´m waiting for the curry portions to cool down enough so I can put them in the fridge. Feeling tiiiireddd. Let Heikki out for an extra run
 
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