Floater's diary

I really love cheese, especially blue. Our homemade hummus never seems to be as tasty as the ones we buy, unfortunately. I must have a go at making it. Hummus is so versatile. Maybe I'll use canned chickpeas, instead of dry....
I hope you have a lovely sleep xo
 
It took me a loong time to fall asleep and I realized I had forgotten to take my antidepressant/migraine pills. Fell asleep around 2:30 I think and woke up at 10. Initially felt like skipping aqua jogging because yesterday was so busy, but once I got up, I felt I really wanted to go so I will do so right after breakfast. I´ll only aqua jog for 60 mins this time tough, don´t want to overdo it and I have a meeting at 5PM and don´t want to rush to it. I also want to have time to enjoy the sauna at the swimming pool and buy saran wrap, parchment paper & hummus on my way home.

Breakfast: veggie soup, two rye bread sandwiches with marg, arugula, and hummus, three licorice-filled chocolate pralines. The licorice-filled ones were the worst ones of the pack I bought yesterday so I want to eat them first so there are only lovely ones left lol. They will still provide me with that short burst of energy that will get my ass from home to the pool in the god-awful weather. I thoroughly enjoy having fancy hand made pralines in my cupboard; it makes me feel special and like I deserve very nice things. It never ceases to amuse me how I could rarely keep alcohol around the house successfully, but with sugary treats moderation feels easy. I guess a big part of it is that I can´t eat sweets on an empty stomach, I hate the feeling of a sugar rush followed by a crash & headache. However, a small quantity of sugar after a proper balanced meal really helps pick me up and avoid the "slump" I sometimes get after a meal. I think this goes to show how every person´s journey to a balanced diet and lifestyle is very personal.

I like my life as it is. I like myself as I am. Life is very good and I´m glad I have this forum for support and now also my SMART groups. Life feels much more organized and easier to handle now. And if slumps happen, it´s easier to get through them with friends!
 
EDIT: I only ended having one rye bread sandwich and didn´t have the licorice pralines for breakfast because I had an insanely strong flashback, the kind that´s both sensory and cognitive, and in that state food just doesn´t go down. I meditated for 10 minutes after writing down what came up, and left for the pool still pretty shaken. I was extremely triggered in the dressing room to the point where people talking felt like slaps on my skin, but thanks to having my pool routine drilled in, I was able to function despite the state I was in. I had forgotten my hygiene kit so I need to wash the chlorine out of my hair in the evening.

I aqua jogged for 45 mins without a break (I usually aqua jog for 90 mins with two toilet and hydration breaks at 30 and 60 mins) and it seemed to hit the sweet spot where I got the anxiety out of my system but didn´t get exhausted. Had my post workout porridge in the locker room. Remembered to get saran wrap, hummus, and parchment paper on my way back and also bought salami, ham, red licorice, and a can of cherry cola.

At home I put on deodorant and put the laundry machine on, and ate the remaining rye bread sandwich with some salami added in, four pieces of red licorice, 200g of cottage cheese, and a small bowl of pineapple. I´ll have a cup of coffee and then clean Heikki´s cage, vacuum and wash the floors. SMART meeting at 5 and the rest of the day is for relaxation, meditation, eating well, and being proud of me for navigating a flashback extremely well.
 
Uhhh... For the first time ever, Heikki tried to hump my foot. :censored: I haven´t worn the "sultry" (in his opinion) wool socks around him but apparently he has now developed a liking for feet nevertheless. It´s gonna be a pain to get him to outlearn it.

I had yesterday´s meatballs with avocado and lemon juice, and a small bowl of cherries. I need to eat more: I can feel a headache rolling in.
 
Veggie soup with Parmesan. I prepped two portions of rice. Once they have cooled down a bit, I´ll put them in the fridge and go to the sauna. Then after the sauna I´ll have one portion of cold rice with marinated tofu & mushrooms, arugula & avocado. I need to remember not to buy this brand of avocadoes again, very bland. I feel exhausted and a little bit sad.

EDIT: also had two pieces of red licorice and two licorice-filled pralines. Having an emotional flashback... I´m glad I´ll get to go to sleep soon.
 
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Llama said:
:grouphug:
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:grouphug:

Feeling much more grounded after sauna, having bleached my eyebrows, used body lotion and spritzed some Mugler Alien EdT on. Decided to dress myself, because right now I can´t handle the dysphoria of hanging around in a t-shirt and pajama bottoms with the puppies swinging all over the place. I need to remember to hold on to my old sports bras for this purpose even though I plan to gradually buy a set of new ones. I can´t sleep wearing bras, even low support ones, and I have this weird hang-up of feeling that once worn bras are dirty no matter how clean I was wearing them and how short a period they were worn. Same with underwear and socks: once they come off my body, they go automatically into the hamper. And of course I then go on to catastrophize about the micro plastics that end up in the oceans because of my OCD, which is veeerrry helpful. /s :cautious:

I know I need to eat one more meal today, as planned above. But I think I need to go lie down for a minute first. I´ve been so good this week, eaten very healthily and exercised enough but not too much. Tomorrow is rest day and off day from ADHD meds.
 
Final meal of the day: cold rice with marinated tofu & mushrooms, arugula & avocado, and a rye bread sandwich with arugula, hummus and salami. Some blue cheese and some parmesan.
 
I hope you wake up feeling much better about everything. You have done everything that you could this week to look after yourself.
Over the years I have googled some funny stuff including from the forum but "How do you stop a chinchilla from humping your foot" might take the cake. :ROFLMAO:
"If it bothers you enough that you want it to stop, you can give a little tug on the fur near his butt to show him that you "win" the "fight" ."
 
Cate said:
I hope you wake up feeling much better about everything. You have done everything that you could this week to look after yourself.
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Thank you 🥰💐
Cate said:
Over the years I have googled some funny stuff including from the forum but "How do you stop a chinchilla from humping your foot" might take the cake. :ROFLMAO:
"If it bothers you enough that you want it to stop, you can give a little tug on the fur near his butt to show him that you "win" the "fight" ."
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😆 thanks! Luckily, he stops when I gently say no and move my foot away. (He then lets out a frustrated bawk bawk noise and finishes himself with his mouth 🤷🏼😷) I don't think he's dominating my foot (jesus, I feel like I'm going on a watchlist for writing that), because he does the chinchilla courtship dance, blinking with one eye and swishing his tail. He's done that a lot with me before, only the humping is new. So I don't want to tug at his bum fur unless it's a dire necessity, he's my precious, misguided, horny poor boy 😆😆😆 I'll stay gentle, yet firm and consistent, move my foot to safety from his lovemaking efforts and gently tell him no. But I'll reconsider your advice if the situation escalates!

Thank you for laughing with us (me and Heikki)
 
Feeling happy, content and well rested. Breakfast was veggie soup, a rye bread sandwich with hummus, rucola and salami, a small bowl of fruit and two pralines with a nice cup of fennel tea. Rest day today. I´ll go grocery shopping with the autism assistance person :Angel_anim:
 
Lunch: 6 meat- and veggie balls with avocado and lemon juice, 200g of cottage cheese. EDIT: checked my fridge and decided that a big grocery haul can wait for a bit, I´ll just grab some more protein today and use up stuff I already have to avoid food waste!
 
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Haha grocery trip was a waste of time, executive function just didn't function 😆 At home now: cherry cola, red licorice, black coffee. Today I'm gonna take things easy.
 
Had a nice rest, just snug like a bug under my favorite blankie, scrolling memes on my phone. Got up and did another big food prep: roasted veggies in the oven while it was preheating and peeled a kilo of beets in the meanwhile, took the veggies out of the oven and put the beets in. To the veggies I added soy mince, white beans, nduja, mushrooms, sauerkraut and spices, gave the pot a good swirl on a hot stove and added water, let cook as the beets were roasting. Also prepared the bottom of a bag of polenta, it made three big portions. Added some bulgur to the soup when it was almost done. I really like bulgur in soups.

Now all this goodness just needs to cool down & go to the fridge.

Dinner: cold rice, marinated tofu & mushrooms, avocado, arugula, sauerkraut, and white pepper. I feel accomplished. There´s one portion of the last batch of veggie soup still left but it will be perfectly fine tomorrow. Gym day tomorrow.
 
After the food prep, my ex came over. We vaped some weed - I have for now decided that as weed wasn´t really ever my DOC, and as I have no means or money to acquire it myself, it´s fine to partake every now and then. This way the weed will also have the most positive effect, as vaping too often will make the effect less useful/powerful. And of course I will correct course if needed.

All other foods are in the fridge already. Soup is Saran wrapped but still needs to cool down before fridging. I´m having a lovely treat plate of red licorice, chocolates, krackers, blue cheese and Manchego. I feel like a king.
 
I love your food choices. It all sounds so healthy!
Floater said:
We vaped some weed - I have for now decided that as weed wasn´t really ever my DOC, and as I have no means or money to acquire it myself, it´s fine to partake every now and then.
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Life is so much about balance & the 'rules' are your own rules.
Floater said:
Had a nice rest, just snug like a bug under my favorite blankie
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Sweet!
 
Oh wow, I slept for 12 hours! I´m not complaining though: I must have needed it. Breakfast: chickpea and veggie soup, rye bread with marg, ham & arugula.
 
Lunch: soy mince, white bean and veggie stew, a small bowl of cherries.

Hit the gym and had a ton of fun! Post workout porridge in the locker room.

Did some grocery shopping on my way home. Had a rye bread sanwich with hummus, arugula and ham and 200g of cottage cheese as a snack. I'll vacuum now and hit the sauna, and have a bigger dinner after that.
 
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