Floater's diary

I'm on a walk. Bought ribs... Again - I gotta switch to another vice unless I want to get colon cancer, but to be honest, right now fed is best.

I'm standing on a riverbank, watching the glassy, jade-hued water crawl under the bridge. I love the murky shades of Finnish winter. Until the snow arrives, there's something very lively in the scent of decaying leaves and drizzling rain. I do love the snow, too. But right now I feel so at home in the mud and watching bare trees reach out to the sky.

I miss Nera a lot. But her life was my greatest accomplishment in mine. She was so loved. Perhaps this is what people with loving families feel about their children. Now Heikki is my pride and my joy. He's an eccentric little goofball, but I can tell he's happy. He's very friendly and seeks out my company. My favorite feeling is when he jumps onto my knee and I get to give him schritches. He's so lovely.
 
Animals seeking out your company definitely says something about your character. Also: unless you already have a heightened risk of colon cancer eating a lot of processed meat only increases the risk a tiny bit. It's a measurable increase researchers are certain of, which is why it is classed the way it is, but the effect is tiny.
 
Floater said:
I'm standing on a riverbank, watching the glassy, jade-hued water crawl under the bridge. I love the murky shades of Finnish winter. Until the snow arrives, there's something very lively in the scent of decaying leaves and drizzling rain. I do love the snow, too. But right now I feel so at home in the mud and watching bare trees reach out to the sky.
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Your beautiful description took me there :beating:
Floater said:
I miss Nera a lot. But her life was my greatest accomplishment in mine. She was so loved. Perhaps this is what people with loving families feel about their children. Now Heikki is my pride and my joy. He's an eccentric little goofball, but I can tell he's happy. He's very friendly and seeks out my company. My favorite feeling is when he jumps onto my knee and I get to give him schritches. He's so lovely.
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This is just lovely 💗
 
Today has been hard emotionally but I'm hanging there. Trans clinic interviews will continue next Tuesday. I'll order sushi after I get home from my walk. And wakame salad!
 
Taking the best possible care of your physical needs when you don't have full control over your mental needs is by far the most sensible thing to do :grouphug:
 
Thank you, dear friends. I'm sorry I've been so lackluster in commenting. I do care, but right now I'm that proverbial mouse in a vat of cream. (Referring to an old Finnish folk tale about two mice in a vat of cream; one drowns, the other frantically swims until it churns the cream into butter.) And yes I'm the mouse who survives but maaaannn this is tedious at times.

Heikki is an absolute darling. Interacting with his brave tiny self makes my days. I need to order more chinchilla bathing sand and pellets for him. Some new chew toys too. He's not lacking in anything yet, but it's best to always have extra essentials at hand, and shopping for him is delightful.
 
Today has been emotionally hard but food-wise OK. Low on words. Snapped the cutest pic of Heikki today, he had nibbled on a prayer request and held his hands/front paws across his chest as if repenting. My beautiful boy is no sinner though, even when he eats things he perhaps ought not to.

Physically I'm tired, crampy, and miss closeness to other humans. There's something about the dark months that makes me crave hugs and the non-PG stuff too I guess. But being reconnected with human desires is rarely a bad thing. Might spell the end of my depressive episode? One can hope, hm?
 
I'm going to imagine a great big hug from you & everyone else in the forum & try to take strength & love from that hug to try to take myself out of my fug. Can you feel that hug? :grouphug:
 
Cate said:
I'm going to imagine a great big hug from you & everyone else in the forum & try to take strength & love from that hug to try to take myself out of my fug. Can you feel that hug? :grouphug:
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I can, thank you forum mom! And thanks Llama!

I ate breakfast and am on a walk now. I think I'll buy a salad later. I need something fresh.
 
Llama said:
A walk and some veggies sounds good to me. I wonder if spirit-Nera will join you today .
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She did. I have a black faux fur jacket that reminds me of her. I bought a microwaveable meal of fish and potato mash. On my way to the grocery I stopped by the pond to look at the ducks. They frantically wish to live and, hence, scour the water for food. Knowing how duck reproduction works, some aspects of those animals does creep me out, but they and I are god-made (or evolution-emerged) beings all the same.
 
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