Yay got the almond milk and an ice cream that tasted like toasted butter, it was great. It was nice to see ex. Tonight I'm going to pig out with a pure conscience because I remember the boost in my lifting the next day. My weight has now solidified at -2kg from where my starting weight was. I wish to lose 10 kg in total, and I've been consistent with my diet and exercise habit. I've been at it for 5 weeks now, so the changes are well sustainable. I'm honestly proud of myself. I've been making my body stronger because right now I need a strong body or my mind won't stand the stress.
I had a 50g bag of pickled mushrooms chips (fantastic, I will definitely buy those again) and am now having another. I need to work some protein and vegs into tonight as well. Protein especially, I can afford to eat energy-dense tonight because I've been eating very nutritious, veg- and fruit rich meals lately. And even though I'm genuinely depressed about my current health and transition situation, I feel genuine joy about the effort I put into my health. It's like the joy and pride I felt when I took care of Nera has now transferred into joy and pride when I take my body out to swim and go to the gym, and when I plan and cook nutritious meals, or brush my teeth and use hair conditioner, or go to the hair salon once a month to buzz my sides, or plan a whimsical trip to Ikea on my own. But I enjoy making and eating food, too. It's been years and of course my sensory sensitivities aren't going to go anywhere, but I work out so much that my body handles the hunger much better than me and craves foods that are really good for me. This helps me work around those sensitivities. My mental health and career and finances may be complete shit, but at least I'm taking great care of my body.
I'm so innocent sometimes
