Floater's diary

I walked to the supermarket and spent MUCH more than I intended, but all of it was sensible foods, coffee and a few necessary hygiene products. Forgot to buy tooth paste though. Meal #4 is a snack of two mini Karelian pies with marg, cherry tomatoes, 200g of cottage cheese and a bottle of kombucha. Meal #5 is going to be conchiglie pasta with... Something. I need to rest a bit first.
 
Meal #5: pasta with tuna, feta, dark green salad, RAF tomato, fresh garlic, and scallion. EDIT: also a cup of almond matcha latte with a tablespoon of soy protein for dessert.

I prepped my bento breakfast for tomorrow: tuna-feta pasta with frozen peas mixed in; one small Karelian pie with marg, dark green salad, and cherry tomatoes; some sauerkraut; frozen cherries; and finally two dates, four pieces of milk chocolate, pumpkin seeds, two Brazil nuts and two walnuts.
 
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I feel like I'm going to pass out from exhaustion. Hung my laundry, will go brush my teeth now in case I fall asleep.

I've decided in advance that meal #6 is going to be a banana, a fried egg (or two if I'm super hungry) with enoki mushrooms, and two corn cakes with marg & Marmite. I'll put the ingredients (other than those that need refrigerating of course) and tools on the kitchen counter in advance, so even if I fall asleep and wake up hungry in the middle of the night I can stick to the plan. If I fall asleep and sleep until morning, then I'll just see what I'm hungry for and how much energy I have to spend to cook, or if it's smarter to just grab my bento box.
 
Had meal #6 just now, hopefully it will help me sleep. As intended, it was a two-egg enoki mushroom omelette with Korean mint and soy sauce, a banana, and corn cakes with marg+Marmite. I still feel a bit hungry but I hope this is enough..
 
Hope you sleep through the rest of the night without any problems. I do like how flexible you are with/despite your plans.
 
Llama said:
I do like how flexible you are with/despite your plans.
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Thank you. Learning flexibility has been a long process, especially with the autistic "either or" tendency. I try to plan flexibility into the system if that makes sense? Otherwise not doing "perfectly" would feel like a failure and I'd give up.

No ADHD meds today, taking breaks is important to avoid developing tolerance. I'm a bit frustrated that I _can't_ exercise today because it's my weekly rest day, but I try to take the rest day as part ofthe exercise if that makes sense. Like, my job today is to lounge about and eat and my muscles, connective tissue, etc are doing hard work repairing themselves. I might do some light housework.

Ex is coming over later today, we'll watch something and he'll buy us food. There was some talk about him maybe getting some weed today, and as I don't have any healthcare appointments coming up in the next two weeks, I don't see any reason to not partake. The last time we smoked was around Christmas I think, Nera was still alive and we were having a cold wave of -20°C. I hope it's going to be a nice sativa to give me impressions and memories of Nera. If the stuff were legal here, one could choose what strain to buy but Finland is ass backwards in it's drug policies so it's all up to what the local weed guy has available.

Speaking of substances, I do think that abstaining from alcohol has allowed me to process the losses and disappointments of this year better and even on nights when my sleep quality is bad, it's not AS bad as it could be. At 34 I'm not young anymore so it makes sense that even moderate drinking has more side effects than when I was in my 20s. I'm not saying I'll never ever drink again, but for now a stint of sobriety feels really nice and I don't feel like I'm missing out!
 
Meal #2: rice, button mushrooms, enoki mushrooms, dark green salad, and gravlax topped with sweet soy sauce and Korean mint. A decently nice dish but I think that "european" mint would work better in this combo because Korean mint tastes licorice-y and with the sweet soy sauce and the sweetness of stir-fried enoki the combo is, well, a bit too sweet. Luckily the salty gravlax and bitter green salad help make it a bit more balanced and I'm not complaining, it's a pretty and satiating dish in any case.

EDIT: Holy shit I just had a really nice moment when I realized that in this moment I'm doing something and being someone the child me would be really proud of and look forward to. I have my own home and it's quiet and clean. I have plants and a pretty view from my window. I have food and I can decide for myself when I eat and how much I eat. No one is demanding impossible things of me. I have friends, and I get help to do things I find difficult or scary to do on my own. I'm safe.
 
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God, WHAT? I'm hungry again. Meal #3 is a small bowl of pineapple, a small bowl of yogurt with mint, garlic, and black pepper, and a cheese-and-egg rye bread sandwich with salad. After eating those I'll prep green lentil and edamame curry for later.
 
ChocolateBunny said:
Was just going to ask for pictures! Since I'm late in the thread it's my first time seeing yours. It's beautiful. I don't see myself eating fresh spinach though 😅
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Thank you! This is the first bento breakfast pic I've posted, I have only occasionally posted meal pics when I've been in the mood to make them look nice haha. And a good observation about the spinach - regular spinach should not be eaten raw due to the high nitrate content in it, the stuff I have in the pic is baby spinach (and other dark green stuff that was in the salad mix bag), it's milder tasting and safe to eat raw.

Snack was tasty, 3 portions of lentil curry are all done and cooling on the countertop in containers. I packed tomorrow's bento breakfast, fairly low in kcal this time, because I have assistance come over tomorrow at noon so I'll have a lighter breakfast and heavy-duty lunch soon afterwards and hit the gym after that. It's a corn cake sandwich with marg and Marmite + mini Karelian pie with marg and Schwarzwald ham + cherry tomatoes, dark green salad mix, feta + jalapeno olives + sesame oil, corn, and yogurt with banana slices and pomegranate seeds.
 
Floater said:
Holy shit I just had a really nice moment when I realized that in this moment I'm doing something and being someone the child me would be really proud of and look forward to. I have my own home and it's quiet and clean. I have plants and a pretty view from my window. I have food and I can decide for myself when I eat and how much I eat. No one is demanding impossible things of me. I have friends, and I get help to do things I find difficult or scary to do on my own. I'm safe.
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❤️ That's wonderful. And your food sounds great, as usual!
 
Meal #4 is four seaweed snacks, two mini Karelian pies with marg and Schwarzwald ham, two corn cakes with marg and Marmite, and some Manchego cheese I found on sale yesterday. I'll have almond matcha latte for dessert.

It's now confirmed that ex will bring weed, so I took out pineapple and cherries to thaw and put a banana next to them so I have something decent at hand when the munchies hit. :sneaky:
 
We had fun yesterday, I ate a whole portion of Laab (a Thai dish with ground chicken and herbs) and some deep-fried shrimp and chicken, and Marmite rice cakes later. Didn't eat the fruit but I'll eat them today. Slept very well - the weed was a 70% indica hybrid so the kind that makes you hungry, content, lazy, and happy as a pig in shit.

Today it's back to the usual: I'm about to have my ADHD meds and breakfast, and I'll hit the gym after lunch and go do 30 mins of stair walking in the evening.
 
Meal #2 was a bowl of pineapple and cherries and a banana. Meal #3 was post workout porridge and a Thai energy drink. Got more enoki mushrooms and popped by the church on my way home. Feeling anxious and helpless about the trans clinic situation.

Meal #4: green lentil and edamame curry with pollock, two Karelian pies with marg & cheese.
EDIT: having a complete crashdown, so I'll also have a banana, four Brazil nuts and a spoonful of sunflower seeds as dessert. After that I'll lie down for a while and go stairwalking after 6PM at the earliest, so I get some downtime in between workouts.
 
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I am not feeling good. Rest didn't help. I'm nauseous and really really tired. I think I'll walk to the stairs and if I feel weird at all after one ascension, I'll just walk back home and call it a day.
 
Llama said:
Sensible. After-effect of the weed?
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Hard to say, I have never had something like this happen after smoking, but I think it could be possible - especially as I have no tolerance. I think I've probably just been doing the stairs a bit too much lately and I'm losing motivation. The stairs are also jam-packed today. I did 10 mins, and now I'll walk home and look at the birds. I'll see how the stairs will feel tomorrow!
 
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