Floater's diary

Had most of my breakfast, took my meds, sent the email to knockoff-Ratched's boss, am now having a cup of coffee and the rest of my breakfast and shaking from all the adrenaline, and as soon as I'm done I'll hit the pool and absolutely murder my aqua jogging workout!
 
:grouphug: It must be a relief to get that email out. Enjoy the aquajogging!
 
Llama said:
:grouphug: It must be a relief to get that email out. Enjoy the aquajogging!
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It really was. Now, if they refuse to handle it internally, I can tell the patient ombudsman that I attempted to fix the situation on my own, and that will help me as it proves I'm open to peaceful discussion.

I aquajogged for 2 hours again, it really has a meditative quality to it, wonderful for concentration and memory. I often just observe my thoughts as I jog, and it's wonderful to see how things I've learned return back to my working memory when I jog, it almost feels like problems solve themselves when I keep my body busy and let my mind run and sniff around like a curious dog.

I had my locker room porridge, walked home, added some special grocery items to tomorrow's grocery delivery (because I'm all out of money and can't pack my bento box today, so I figured I'll treat myself to a fancier breakfast). I'll have two Karelian pies with Schwarzwald ham, cheese, fancier-than-usual salad, and fresh mint, 200g of cottage cheese, a couple of snack salami, pumpkin seeds, and a caramel pudding. After eating I'll head to the gym, hurry back, shower, have lunch, and go to Ikea with an assistance person to test out a table and chairs I've been eyeballing lately. I don't currently have a work space in my home and I have high hopes about this one.

EDIT almost forgot, lunch/meal #3 today is yogurt-based overnight oats with a sliced banana on top.
 
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I was starting to get dizzy from my meds wearing out + not having eaten much today, so after I had cleaned and organized my dry foods cabinet, I made myself a snack/meal #4: a small bowl of frozen cherries, my remaining salt beef, and cucumber slices. It won't fuel me for long so I'll just take out the trash, give the floors a quick wipe, and then heat up my remaining beluga lentil stew with marinated butter beans, sweetcorn and a fried egg on top. After I've eaten, I'll prep green lentil curry and curl up in bed to watch some nonsense until it's time to have my last meal of today and go to sleep.
 
I cleaned up and green lentil curry is bubbling on the stove and I'm having beluga lentil stew + a fried egg + butterbeans. Forgot the corn lol but whatever, I put in some sauerkraut instead. My brain is totally fried :D :D

I have no idea what I'm going to have before I go to bed...

EDIT: annoyingly, my grocery delivery will come between 11-12, much later than I anticipated, so if I only can, I'll wake up early and go to the pharmacy first thing and get some breakfast on my way back. I feel a little bit anxious about this change of plans, which serves as a reminder that flexibility is healthy and important...
 
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Llama said:
Hope you sleep well and wake up feeling as capable and strong as we know you to be.
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Aww you are being way too nice to little old me :Angel_anim::grouphug:

I decided to have my remaining sauerkraut as an appetizer and meal #6 is going to be cold somen noodles, butter beans, gravlax and parsley. If I still feel peckish or carbsy after that, I'll have my remaining pieces of dark chocolate. It's a really nice feeling looking at my practically empty fridge + freezer knowing that I ate everything I bought, and tomorrow I'll get a restock. I taste-tested the green lentil curry and it turned out amazing (I kept it simple: shallots, tamarind, yellow curry paste, fish sauce, tomato paste, peanut butter and hot sauce), and tomorrow it'll be even better.

I know that prepping can be triggering for some folks with ED backgrounds but for me it's been a godsend so far. It helps alleviate my food insecurity fears, it´s a practical solution to my executive dysfunction and lack of appetite due to meds, and helps me eat balanced meals and meet my needs. It also helps me to think about my meals as "meals #1-6" because it takes off some of the shame I feel about not living the "normal" 9-5 lifestyle with a spouse, a dog, and a mortgage. I eat my lunch at tea time, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that :unsure:
 
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Crisis averted! I boiled two portions of somen noodles and I'll just have the same dish (somen, gravlax, butterbeans + cashews) for breakfast. I skimped on my short effect ADHD med today, so I can pop that last pill with breakfast and then hurry to the pharmacy to get my month's worth of meds. The meal is making me comfortably tired, so I'll probably sleep well tonight!
 
I really think prepping & having the right food on hand is key to me, not overeating or stuffing my face with the wrong things. Well done on getting that email off ("keeping your cool") Hope you do have a good night's sleep :)
 
I had such weird dreams again. Well, at least I get my brain-healthy REM sleep. Now up up up and to the pharmacy!
 
Went to the pharmacy half asleep, got my meds (ouch, it hurts to buy two different dosages and short-effect ones on top at the same time), got bananas on my way home and ate one while walking, popped a pill as soon as I got home, and am now having somen, cashews and butterbeans and the rest of my gravlax. After that I'll make myself a bowl of instant miso because I need something to warm my insides, and then I'll just have coffee and chocolate and lounge about until the food delivery arrives and it's time to hit the gym :)
 
Gym went well, I had fun and I seem to have recovered quite well since the last time. Didn't do bench press today because I want to see if longer recovery helps me push myself to increase my current PR on my next sesh.

Had matcha-soy protein-almond latte with fresh mint, a banana, a snack salami and four Brazil nuts as my post-workout snack/ meal#2. I won't bother making fancy drinks for the gym in the future, the environment is just not right for enjoying them, but it was a nice experiment. Bought D-vitamin on my way home. I avoid the sun religiously and use sunscreen, so I really should get into the habit of supplementing daily... Especially as Finland is shrowded in darkness 5 months per year even here in the South.

Shower, meal #3, and off to Ikea!
 
Meal #3 is green lentil stew with spinach, corn, and pollock topped with fresh mint. It's OK, but the sauce could be richer (either more PB or a coconut milk/cream base would probably work better).
 
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The table was fantastic, perfect for my home. However, Ikea didn't have any good chairs to go with it, so I'll go chair hunting with the assistance person next week and see if I can find chairs that are reasonably priced and fit the table and my aesthetic. (Obviously won't buy the table until I have the whole set thought out.)

Meal #4: frozen cherries, a sliced banana, 200g of cottage cheese, a RAF tomato, two Karelian pies (one with Schwarzwald ham and the other with cheese).

EDIT I need to buy a new swimsuit but I'm terrified because swimsuit sizing is so damn weird. I found I nice-looking one from Killstar but they don't have XL is stock and I'm really nervous about whether I'll fit into an L. But on the other hand, swimsuits quickly go "blerp" in use and my current one from a different brand is size L and is a constant threat of a wardrobe malfunction because it's so loose. So there's a chance that Killstar's L could fit me especially as I'm so short.
 
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Llama said:
Sizing on any clothing is ludicrous. I hate swimsuit hunting.
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I fully agree.
Llama said:
Great to hear you found the right table though!
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Yes the table is so freaking perfect for my needs, I can't wait to buy it! It's bar table height so I can stand or sit by it, and it has a metal frame thing that I can hang household items and plants from, it's really cute and practical.

Meal #5 was one snack salami and polenta with marinated butter beans, spinach, and cheese. Gooey, cheesy, comforting, satiating.

I have a hairdresser appointment tomorrow at 12 (just getting my sides clipped, I have no money for fancy stuff now) and I kind of wish I could manage to go aqua jogging before that, but I would have to wake up at 7 to have enough time for breakfast and walking and the actual 2-hour workout with water breaks and toilet breaks and yada yada, so we'll see.

Prepped breakfast: Karelian pie with cheese, 4 Brazil nuts, pumpkin seeds, 1 snack salami, a fried egg (I have no idea how that will behave in the fridge but I wanted to experiment), pineapple, 100g of cottage cheese, and green salad.
 
It's 0:30 and no sleep, so I'll accept my defeat and sleep until 10 and go aqua jogging after the hairdresser. Apparently my body didn't want to get cheated out of meal #6 so I'll have a fried egg and salad on a Karelian pie and try to get some sleep after that.

EDIT: I had the Karelian pie with egg and cheese instead, and a 120g caramel pudding. Both hit the spot perfectly, yum!
 
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The table sounds really good. I hope you find chairs you like. Swimsuit shopping is the worst :svengo: Good luck with that!
 
Cate said:
Swimsuit shopping is the worst :svengo: Good luck with that!
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Thanks! I spent a good while Sherlocking away on Killstar's website and asked a friend who owns a lot of their clothes about size guidance, and my hopes are up. I ordered a really fun swimsuit from them, it's black with a red Baphomet print in the front haha. Very fitting for a theologian, let's hope it fits size-wise too :)

Morning has been slow. I need to leave in 45 mins and I'm just feeling so blergh. Having my breakfast now.
 
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