Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
Thanks everyone for the congratulations, I love this place. You're all stars. 
So, yet another unexpected thing. I got a message from a guy on the meetup app that I'm on, it's not really a dating app, but you can see other people's profile pictures and what groups they are joined. He just said I had a great smile and he wanted to reach out and say hi. I thought, 'What the hell', and messaged him back and it turns out he's 35, with a good job, and seems nice so far. He's meant to ring me this evening and then we might be going on a date this weekend. I am nervously waiting by the phone.
Even if he doesn't call, it's given me a major boost, and some badly needed hope!
I am also off work this week, had a really great day in town, it was beautiful here today. I had a coffee by the river, there were loads of happy people milling about (people are always happy here when it's warm), then I met my friend for a lovely lunch. I've been planning on meeting her for ages, so I was relieved to actually catch up with her, as she's one person I really want to stay connected with. We had a nice chat, then I came home and had a nap (I seem to need a nap nearly every day now - I think I'm only realising now how hectic things have been for me, and my body is screaming,'YES!!! I finally get to rest'), and then I went to the gym for the first time in weeks.
The gym was an absolute killer, I am so unfit again, it's so annoying. I thought I was going to pass out a few times. But I prevailed. It just really highlights when you've been living an unhealthy lifestyle, so it was a bit of a wake-up call. I don't think my body looked too bad (they have the best lighting in this gym) but the sweating, heavy breathing and red face told a different story. There's only one thing for it - keep going back! I am really glad I went.
So that's the latest update, life is very good right now. Long may it continue.
So, yet another unexpected thing. I got a message from a guy on the meetup app that I'm on, it's not really a dating app, but you can see other people's profile pictures and what groups they are joined. He just said I had a great smile and he wanted to reach out and say hi. I thought, 'What the hell', and messaged him back and it turns out he's 35, with a good job, and seems nice so far. He's meant to ring me this evening and then we might be going on a date this weekend. I am nervously waiting by the phone.
Even if he doesn't call, it's given me a major boost, and some badly needed hope!
I am also off work this week, had a really great day in town, it was beautiful here today. I had a coffee by the river, there were loads of happy people milling about (people are always happy here when it's warm), then I met my friend for a lovely lunch. I've been planning on meeting her for ages, so I was relieved to actually catch up with her, as she's one person I really want to stay connected with. We had a nice chat, then I came home and had a nap (I seem to need a nap nearly every day now - I think I'm only realising now how hectic things have been for me, and my body is screaming,'YES!!! I finally get to rest'), and then I went to the gym for the first time in weeks.
The gym was an absolute killer, I am so unfit again, it's so annoying. I thought I was going to pass out a few times. But I prevailed. It just really highlights when you've been living an unhealthy lifestyle, so it was a bit of a wake-up call. I don't think my body looked too bad (they have the best lighting in this gym) but the sweating, heavy breathing and red face told a different story. There's only one thing for it - keep going back! I am really glad I went.
So that's the latest update, life is very good right now. Long may it continue.
Amazingly wonderful! Hope it goes really well with the meetup guy! And so nice you had such a good visit with your friend! Sounds like things are on a roll for you - hope it's a long, happy ride!
I feel similarly to you when I run the mile - how did I get lead weights in my butt and legs like that? Here's to turning lead into gold!!
I feel similarly to you when I run the mile - how did I get lead weights in my butt and legs like that? Here's to turning lead into gold!!
Thanks guys!
Sadly, Mr. Meetup did not call me last night. He texted me late and said he got caught up with work, and he's away until the end of next week, so no date this weekend. He might be a bit of a time-waster. I just told him I wasn't interested in texting with it going nowhere and to contact me when he's back. I'm already kind of over it.
Had a pleasant enough day, but it was kind of boring. It brought me back to the times when I was made redundant from my last job and I was out of full-time work for over 5 months about 3 years ago now. That was around the time I joined here. I actually like faffing around to a certain extent, but it just ends up with me spending a lot of money in cafes and feeling a bit lonely. I guess I could be using this time to write, or work some more on the play, but it doesn't really end up like that!
I did go the gym again today, for a pilates class. I was the only person that showed up for the class, but the instructor went ahead with it anyway. Which was great. My hips are so creaky. The lack of sex really shows when you do yoga or pilates. Lol.
I had an erotic dream about one of the senior men in my company last night. God, he's a beautiful man. He's married with kids, but he is literally movie-star hot. When I was away on that work trip, on one of the nights I know I was looking particularly attractive, and was having a smoke outside, and he came outside and said hi, and we just locked eyes, and there was chemistry. He's always really attentive with me, and I guess my dream brain picked up on this, because the whole dream revolved around us being on a work trip and me sneaking into his room every morning when no one was around. Haha, don't judge me.
Anyway, this all sounds like stuff from a Mills and Boon novel, but I actually feel that men like him who are highly sought after and admired actually like me more than men who are in contact with me all the time and could easily ask me out. It's so annoying.
I also had another guy in my last company who was into me and was also really high up in the group. I think I have a thing for high-powered men. I would do well with someone who was away a lot. I like my own company, they could parade me around when needed, I also like comfort and like the idea of an idle existence. God, the dreams we imagine for ourselves. And yet here I am, alone. I do feel I am too intense for a lot of guys. I can see the meetup guy trying to figure out my hangups already.
This all makes me seem like a complete narcissist/fantasist. I am not trying to brag or show off or anything. But I find myself wondering whether I could be living a great life but I am not in the place where that is possible. Maybe I need to consider getting a transfer and moving away again. After the play. Perhaps.
Sadly, Mr. Meetup did not call me last night. He texted me late and said he got caught up with work, and he's away until the end of next week, so no date this weekend. He might be a bit of a time-waster. I just told him I wasn't interested in texting with it going nowhere and to contact me when he's back. I'm already kind of over it.
Had a pleasant enough day, but it was kind of boring. It brought me back to the times when I was made redundant from my last job and I was out of full-time work for over 5 months about 3 years ago now. That was around the time I joined here. I actually like faffing around to a certain extent, but it just ends up with me spending a lot of money in cafes and feeling a bit lonely. I guess I could be using this time to write, or work some more on the play, but it doesn't really end up like that!
I did go the gym again today, for a pilates class. I was the only person that showed up for the class, but the instructor went ahead with it anyway. Which was great. My hips are so creaky. The lack of sex really shows when you do yoga or pilates. Lol.
I had an erotic dream about one of the senior men in my company last night. God, he's a beautiful man. He's married with kids, but he is literally movie-star hot. When I was away on that work trip, on one of the nights I know I was looking particularly attractive, and was having a smoke outside, and he came outside and said hi, and we just locked eyes, and there was chemistry. He's always really attentive with me, and I guess my dream brain picked up on this, because the whole dream revolved around us being on a work trip and me sneaking into his room every morning when no one was around. Haha, don't judge me.
Anyway, this all sounds like stuff from a Mills and Boon novel, but I actually feel that men like him who are highly sought after and admired actually like me more than men who are in contact with me all the time and could easily ask me out. It's so annoying.
I also had another guy in my last company who was into me and was also really high up in the group. I think I have a thing for high-powered men. I would do well with someone who was away a lot. I like my own company, they could parade me around when needed, I also like comfort and like the idea of an idle existence. God, the dreams we imagine for ourselves. And yet here I am, alone. I do feel I am too intense for a lot of guys. I can see the meetup guy trying to figure out my hangups already.
This all makes me seem like a complete narcissist/fantasist. I am not trying to brag or show off or anything. But I find myself wondering whether I could be living a great life but I am not in the place where that is possible. Maybe I need to consider getting a transfer and moving away again. After the play. Perhaps.
Hi Em! Wow, that was some read! That's interesting you are into high powered men. (I'm usually into dreamy, artistic men who are the opposite of high powered, but am now married to a high powered lawyer/actor type guy - go figure!) Too bad that one is taken, or you could ask him out! It sounds like you either need more yoga or a boyfriend to help you regain your flexibility! Good you have pilates class - I am terrified of pilates - I have incredibly sore muscles for about a week after a pilates class. That's great you are into it - such a great workout!
Do you feel bored with where you live now? Would you feel comfortable asking men out instead of waiting for them to ask you? I'm pretty intense, too, and have to channel a lot of my energy into doing my own thing.
Anyway, reading all your entries is getting me enthused to take our challenge more seriously and really track every calorie - it would be great if I can help you be your ideal weight and in shape like you would like, and it's really time for me to get the rest of the pregnancy weight off - 13 years is more than long enough! So I will work extra hard at this so we can succeed together!!
Do you feel bored with where you live now? Would you feel comfortable asking men out instead of waiting for them to ask you? I'm pretty intense, too, and have to channel a lot of my energy into doing my own thing.
Anyway, reading all your entries is getting me enthused to take our challenge more seriously and really track every calorie - it would be great if I can help you be your ideal weight and in shape like you would like, and it's really time for me to get the rest of the pregnancy weight off - 13 years is more than long enough! So I will work extra hard at this so we can succeed together!!
alligatorob
Respected Member
If we were judged on dreams we'd all be in trouble!
Petal001
New member
Haha
.
Lol. I went a bit mad in my last post. Glad it generated some laughs!
Marsia, I kind of think artistic men and business men are pretty much the same, with just a different outlet. Generally intelligent with massive egos.
I have asked men out - it never ends well. I actually know very few single men in real life so I guess online is my only option.
I like where I live now but it’s very small and family-oriented. I just think there may be more opportunities for me abroad and maybe more people on my wavelength. I don’t know. It’s kind of like, ‘Wherever you go, there you are’, so I’m not going to leave until I work out my addiction issues. I need my parents nearby right now.
There’s a health class on in my gym today that I can actually go to cos I’m off. They do a weigh-in as well. I hope it’s with body fat percentage too because I kind of hope my Fitbit scale is off when it comes to that.
When I did the yoga retreat, I think my body fat came in as 33% whereas it read 41% on the Fitbit. It doesn’t really matter anyway, I would like the number to come down regardless.
Just had a yummy breakfast of poached eggs and avocado on an English muffin and I’m enjoying my coffee sitting outside in the glorious sunshine. Have a lovely and lucky Friday the 13th all!
Marsia, I kind of think artistic men and business men are pretty much the same, with just a different outlet. Generally intelligent with massive egos.
I have asked men out - it never ends well. I actually know very few single men in real life so I guess online is my only option.
I like where I live now but it’s very small and family-oriented. I just think there may be more opportunities for me abroad and maybe more people on my wavelength. I don’t know. It’s kind of like, ‘Wherever you go, there you are’, so I’m not going to leave until I work out my addiction issues. I need my parents nearby right now.
There’s a health class on in my gym today that I can actually go to cos I’m off. They do a weigh-in as well. I hope it’s with body fat percentage too because I kind of hope my Fitbit scale is off when it comes to that.
When I did the yoga retreat, I think my body fat came in as 33% whereas it read 41% on the Fitbit. It doesn’t really matter anyway, I would like the number to come down regardless.
Just had a yummy breakfast of poached eggs and avocado on an English muffin and I’m enjoying my coffee sitting outside in the glorious sunshine. Have a lovely and lucky Friday the 13th all!
Petal001
New member
I assume you are talking about moving in Europe Emily or would you try to get Visa to go somewhere else . I often toyed with Canada. I’m sorry now we didn’t tbh but saying that I am happy enough. I don’t have much family around here but i have a solid life . And it’s great for getting to other countries for weekends etc .
It's so valuable to be able to self-assess like that! At the same time: keep an eye on yourself so your addictions don't keep going just to give you an excuse to not yet start your "real" life and find out if your ideas are realistic. I don't know the English term but there's something we call "secondary benefits". Like a patient who's in a bad relationship never getting better because their partner wouldn't stay with them if they weren't sick. Not a conscious choice on the patient's part but detrimental to their health. Probably not a thing for you but it's always good to be aware of the possibility so it never becomes a thing.
I think it's good to get out your maybe-not-yet-realistic fantasies. I had been pining to be in a community like in art school where people are really supportive and creative and interesting. I realized I felt a bit boring, not supportive, and not doing anything creative. I realized I could just give myself what I wanted instead of searching the world for it. On the other hand, I grew up in a town of about 300 working class people who disliked outsiders so much they dynamited the old wooden covered bridge that brought in tourists just to make sure there was nothing to draw tourists to us. So there are definitely places that are too insular for even the most self-sufficient person. We all need to find our community and feel at home, whatever home happens to feel like - seems like you know it when you find it! I agree, it's really great you are taking the time to get yourself into a stable, self-loving place in the mean time!!
Happy sunshine!
Happy sunshine!
DietAccountability101
Active member
Know what you mean on the body fat % scales - I never know how accurate they are or what they even mean half the time! I tend to go by waist measurement as that tends to be a sign of health. Hope you survived Friday the 13th!
Thanks for the comments guys.
Petal - I don’t even know. London was prob the most realistic move but obviously now is not a good time to move to the UK.
Really love your comment LaMa, it’s very fair. I probably am delaying ‘real life’ in some ways. I know I am still behind where I should be developmentally. But that’s okay. I’ve made my peace with that.
Thanks Marsia. I think they’re a bit more accepting of blow-ins here, lol.
Hi Diet Acc - I survived - just about!
I’m really fed up today. My landlord texted giving out about something in the house yesterday that my housemate did and then my housemate messaged me an hour later saying we needed to have a chat. I was out yesterday so didn’t get home until late but she also texted me again with a ‘gentle reminder’ about locking the front door when I came in. I didn’t see it until this morning. I seriously felt like texting back, ‘Here’s a gentle reminder. Kindly fuck off.’
I guess I just feel it’s that thing where the boss gives out to you and you take it out on someone else in the team. Except I don’t have to listen to it. I am wracking my brains, wondering what the hell I’ve done. I really don’t want to live here anymore.
But then at the same time, fuck em. I like my room, I live near work, it’s a great location. Can I put up with a little bit of lecturing from time to time?
I don’t know.
But I am sick of gentle reminders and people trying to control me. If I am doing something completely out of the way, of course, say it, but I always lock the door (as far as I am aware).
I have the same thing with my boss at work. It’s exhausting. I don’t try and control other people, but I won’t let myself be pushed around ever again.
I bumped into a friend of an ex-friend the other day, and it made me so angry again about what happened and how I felt so unfairly treated, blah blah. But then, I really started to examine the kind of things that ‘friend’ used to say to me and the kind of person they were underneath the facade. And it occurred to me that maybe I haven’t lost anything by not being around them anymore. Maybe this is the best thing that could have happened for my self-esteem and peace of mind. Who needs enemies that present themselves as friends?
Anyway, regardless of what happens with the house, I know I am a good person who is trying my best, and that’s all I can be. Wish me luck.
Petal - I don’t even know. London was prob the most realistic move but obviously now is not a good time to move to the UK.
Really love your comment LaMa, it’s very fair. I probably am delaying ‘real life’ in some ways. I know I am still behind where I should be developmentally. But that’s okay. I’ve made my peace with that.
Thanks Marsia. I think they’re a bit more accepting of blow-ins here, lol.
Hi Diet Acc - I survived - just about!
I’m really fed up today. My landlord texted giving out about something in the house yesterday that my housemate did and then my housemate messaged me an hour later saying we needed to have a chat. I was out yesterday so didn’t get home until late but she also texted me again with a ‘gentle reminder’ about locking the front door when I came in. I didn’t see it until this morning. I seriously felt like texting back, ‘Here’s a gentle reminder. Kindly fuck off.’
I guess I just feel it’s that thing where the boss gives out to you and you take it out on someone else in the team. Except I don’t have to listen to it. I am wracking my brains, wondering what the hell I’ve done. I really don’t want to live here anymore.
But then at the same time, fuck em. I like my room, I live near work, it’s a great location. Can I put up with a little bit of lecturing from time to time?
I don’t know.
But I am sick of gentle reminders and people trying to control me. If I am doing something completely out of the way, of course, say it, but I always lock the door (as far as I am aware).
I have the same thing with my boss at work. It’s exhausting. I don’t try and control other people, but I won’t let myself be pushed around ever again.
I bumped into a friend of an ex-friend the other day, and it made me so angry again about what happened and how I felt so unfairly treated, blah blah. But then, I really started to examine the kind of things that ‘friend’ used to say to me and the kind of person they were underneath the facade. And it occurred to me that maybe I haven’t lost anything by not being around them anymore. Maybe this is the best thing that could have happened for my self-esteem and peace of mind. Who needs enemies that present themselves as friends?
Anyway, regardless of what happens with the house, I know I am a good person who is trying my best, and that’s all I can be. Wish me luck.
Petal001
New member
Emily I feel for you on many fronts from your post . One putting up with housemates is not easy and landlords but just bide your time . The second is ex friends. Just park that and leave it in the past. Think we have all been there and done that . I probably am the best I have been in years and now I just don’t care about stuff like that . Perhaps that comes with age too but it’s great not to be involved with drama .
Would you not love with the parents again for a while ? You were good there ?
Would you not love with the parents again for a while ? You were good there ?