Cate
Long term member
I love all of your above post, but I especially love this Emily.
Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
Thanks LaMa and Cate. I really do think it will all fall into place.
Today I have not done much. I went for a walk down to the shop - it is a really lovely, blustery day. I feel like it hasn't been windy in months. I just made myself an unbelievable omelette there - mushrooms, shallots, feta cheese, tomatoes and spinach - with 2 slices of toast and a cup of tea. Yum.
I have the house to myself, so I'm going to really take today for some chillout time. I haven't read a book in ages, I really must get back into it again.
The man I met out on Thursday night is away at a retreat centre for the weekend, but he'll be back in town Sunday evening and he wants me to meet him. I thought about it, but I texted him earlier to say that I won't be able to. He was very sweet and when he was taking my number, he put it into his phone very slowly to 'make sure he didn't get it wrong', which I thought was fab. But I know if I go out on Sunday, we'll have a few drinks and it will probably escalate, and I'm going to start off yet another week with a sore head full of regret. So I've decided it's for the best to let this one go. Still, meeting people like that gives you hope for the future, and hopefully I did the same for him.
It's kind of nice not doing anything. It's been a while since I've just sat. I enjoy it. I want to get that good, strong feeling back this week - when I get into a good exercise routine and don't go out, I just have such an amazing feeling of health and strength. I feel invincible. And it only takes a few days of doing things right for it to kick in. I want my inner warrior to start to shine through again. It was definitely on holiday for the last few weeks.
Current mood:
Today I have not done much. I went for a walk down to the shop - it is a really lovely, blustery day. I feel like it hasn't been windy in months. I just made myself an unbelievable omelette there - mushrooms, shallots, feta cheese, tomatoes and spinach - with 2 slices of toast and a cup of tea. Yum.
I have the house to myself, so I'm going to really take today for some chillout time. I haven't read a book in ages, I really must get back into it again.
The man I met out on Thursday night is away at a retreat centre for the weekend, but he'll be back in town Sunday evening and he wants me to meet him. I thought about it, but I texted him earlier to say that I won't be able to. He was very sweet and when he was taking my number, he put it into his phone very slowly to 'make sure he didn't get it wrong', which I thought was fab. But I know if I go out on Sunday, we'll have a few drinks and it will probably escalate, and I'm going to start off yet another week with a sore head full of regret. So I've decided it's for the best to let this one go. Still, meeting people like that gives you hope for the future, and hopefully I did the same for him.
It's kind of nice not doing anything. It's been a while since I've just sat. I enjoy it. I want to get that good, strong feeling back this week - when I get into a good exercise routine and don't go out, I just have such an amazing feeling of health and strength. I feel invincible. And it only takes a few days of doing things right for it to kick in. I want my inner warrior to start to shine through again. It was definitely on holiday for the last few weeks.
Current mood:
I told the man I wasn't going to meet him and he was totally cool about it and then texted 'I think you're amazing!' Aw. I needed to hear something like that. 
Anyway, he said if I'm ever in London to get in touch, so you never know.
Have to start cleaning the house now. Don't feel like it but I know that I will be so much more motivated and sleep better in a clean and tidy environment. Plus I have nothing else on the agenda for the day and it's a Sunday and I am not hungover. Yay.
Anyway, he said if I'm ever in London to get in touch, so you never know.Have to start cleaning the house now. Don't feel like it but I know that I will be so much more motivated and sleep better in a clean and tidy environment. Plus I have nothing else on the agenda for the day and it's a Sunday and I am not hungover. Yay.
Sunflower_
Well-known member
That's really nice of him to say, especially when you were essentially turning him down! sounds like a nice guy. I always sleep better in a clean house, well done for powering through! xx
Yeah, it was nice. I didn't make much progress on my room, going to do at least half an hour now.
Thanks LaMa.
I tried today to not smoke for the day and I was completely distracted in work, so I caved and bought some. Annoying.
My food today has been great, but I'm still hungry and will probably buy a bar or two of chocolate. I'm thinking of adding an egg to my breakfast as I was so ravenous by the time I got home.
Since I haven't done food in a while:
- porridge, blueberries, raspberries, cinnamon, chia seeds, milk
- slice of toast and butter
- 1 coffee, 1 tea, 1 green tea throughout the day
- apple
- 5 walnuts
- tuna, pearl barley, feta, spinach, tomatoes, cucumber, peppers
- mushroom omelette with feta, tomatoes, spinach, onion, 2 slices toast and butter
I went for a 30 min run this morning before work, haven't done that in a while. Maybe it suits me better to do the exercise in the evening, was shattered when I got home with no food in my belly.
The only niggle I have is that my back is hurting me. I don't think it's anything serious, but it's really annoying. I hate being injured.
I also weighed in this morning at 11 stone 12 1/2 pounds, so frustrating. I don't feel bigger but I hate that fecking number being closer to 12 than 11. Will keep an eye on it for the week.
My mood is ok, I'm frustrated that I still want to smoke and eat chocolate all the time. I haven't figured out the formula to conquer this yet. Willpower is not working.
Thanks LaMa.
I tried today to not smoke for the day and I was completely distracted in work, so I caved and bought some. Annoying.
My food today has been great, but I'm still hungry and will probably buy a bar or two of chocolate. I'm thinking of adding an egg to my breakfast as I was so ravenous by the time I got home.
Since I haven't done food in a while:
- porridge, blueberries, raspberries, cinnamon, chia seeds, milk
- slice of toast and butter
- 1 coffee, 1 tea, 1 green tea throughout the day
- apple
- 5 walnuts
- tuna, pearl barley, feta, spinach, tomatoes, cucumber, peppers
- mushroom omelette with feta, tomatoes, spinach, onion, 2 slices toast and butter
I went for a 30 min run this morning before work, haven't done that in a while. Maybe it suits me better to do the exercise in the evening, was shattered when I got home with no food in my belly.
The only niggle I have is that my back is hurting me. I don't think it's anything serious, but it's really annoying. I hate being injured.
I also weighed in this morning at 11 stone 12 1/2 pounds, so frustrating. I don't feel bigger but I hate that fecking number being closer to 12 than 11. Will keep an eye on it for the week.
My mood is ok, I'm frustrated that I still want to smoke and eat chocolate all the time. I haven't figured out the formula to conquer this yet. Willpower is not working.
My therapist asked me what I wanted from the food-that-isn´t-real-food I tend to crave. "If the problem isn´t hunger then the solution isn´t food" type of thing. Thinking about what I want from chocolate (because it definitely isn´t nutrition) seems to be helping.
Yeah LaMa - boredom, stress, anxiety - relief from all of those. Or just plain habit. I don't know. I just really like sugar.
The good news is that I've prepped my lunch 3 days in a row. I've also eaten a proper breakfast today and yesterday, and had an omelette for dinner each night, which wasn't what I'd planned, but still, pretty good. I'm at a loose end for the evening as I don't want to play tennis while my back is sore (although it's much better today). Work was too busy and my brain is addled.
I'm contemplating going to a late night coffee shop in town and reading my book, but I really should be tidying my room. I am aiming to be in bed at 9 - I have to be in work early because I need to leave on time tomorrow, and I have so much to get through. Hmm.
Meeting my friend for wine on Friday, the thought of that is keeping me going, sad to say.
The good news is that I've prepped my lunch 3 days in a row. I've also eaten a proper breakfast today and yesterday, and had an omelette for dinner each night, which wasn't what I'd planned, but still, pretty good. I'm at a loose end for the evening as I don't want to play tennis while my back is sore (although it's much better today). Work was too busy and my brain is addled.
I'm contemplating going to a late night coffee shop in town and reading my book, but I really should be tidying my room. I am aiming to be in bed at 9 - I have to be in work early because I need to leave on time tomorrow, and I have so much to get through. Hmm.
Meeting my friend for wine on Friday, the thought of that is keeping me going, sad to say.
Cate
Long term member
Well done Emily xo
Ah thanks Cate.
Feeling a bit under the weather today. I was going to leave work sick but I powered through and tomorrow is Friday so I should be okay. I hate being ill.
I'm getting my legs waxed now and then heading to tennis this evening - ain't no rest for the wicked. I should be in bed for half 9 though cos I need to leave the house at around 6:50 for an appointment with the nutritionist tomorrow. Haven't done a thing she said. Ah well. Hoping forking over the rest of my cash and chatting to her will get me on track for October. Wake me up when September ends kind of a thing. September went fast though!
Feeling a bit under the weather today. I was going to leave work sick but I powered through and tomorrow is Friday so I should be okay. I hate being ill.
I'm getting my legs waxed now and then heading to tennis this evening - ain't no rest for the wicked. I should be in bed for half 9 though cos I need to leave the house at around 6:50 for an appointment with the nutritionist tomorrow. Haven't done a thing she said. Ah well. Hoping forking over the rest of my cash and chatting to her will get me on track for October. Wake me up when September ends kind of a thing. September went fast though!
Friday is finally here! My nutritionist cancelled this morning, I was so happy to get a proper night's sleep. I still have a bad cough but feel a lot better.
I'm on my lunch break now - chicken and butternut squash wrap with butternut squash soup. I'm contemplating a coffee and carrot cake now. I'm heading out for wine and tapas later, so a food-filled day, but that generally means no extras like bars of chocolate and things.
Have a great Friday all. I'm feeling pretty good.
I'm on my lunch break now - chicken and butternut squash wrap with butternut squash soup. I'm contemplating a coffee and carrot cake now. I'm heading out for wine and tapas later, so a food-filled day, but that generally means no extras like bars of chocolate and things.
Have a great Friday all. I'm feeling pretty good.
Hey Cate, I have a colossal hangover, was crying last night and everything. Whoops. Ah well, it's good to let the emotions out. My friend told me I take on what other people say or do way too much, I kind of carry the burden when I don't need to. She's probably right. That's a very hard trait to just shut off. Hmm.
I saw the gorgeous guy I met a few months ago in the pub last night. I'd gone to a poetry reading last year and someone read a poem about meeting their love in this particular pub, their eyes locking across the room, all that kind of stuff. Anyway, I was idly thinking to myself, 'What if that guy was here' and we turned down the lane where the entrance is and there he was! As if by magic. I am so so annoyed with myself that I didn't just approach him and talk to him. Then he left with his friends but they stayed at the top of the lane for around 20 minutes and I'm nearly convinced he was looking down at me but I don't know, I just lost my nerve. At least even if he wasn't interested, I'd know for sure and could just forget about him. Ah, I'm such a romantic fool.
Anyway, I have to meet another friend in town in a couple of hours for some more food and a bit of wine, but she's not a big drinker so it won't escalate. Could the Universe push him into my path again? I really hope so because I will take my chance if it does.
I saw the gorgeous guy I met a few months ago in the pub last night. I'd gone to a poetry reading last year and someone read a poem about meeting their love in this particular pub, their eyes locking across the room, all that kind of stuff. Anyway, I was idly thinking to myself, 'What if that guy was here' and we turned down the lane where the entrance is and there he was! As if by magic. I am so so annoyed with myself that I didn't just approach him and talk to him. Then he left with his friends but they stayed at the top of the lane for around 20 minutes and I'm nearly convinced he was looking down at me but I don't know, I just lost my nerve. At least even if he wasn't interested, I'd know for sure and could just forget about him. Ah, I'm such a romantic fool.
Anyway, I have to meet another friend in town in a couple of hours for some more food and a bit of wine, but she's not a big drinker so it won't escalate. Could the Universe push him into my path again? I really hope so because I will take my chance if it does.
I don't know Cate. Fear of rejection I guess but I am so annoyed with myself.
I met my friend for a while anyway, that was nice. No major incidents for the evening. I came home and finished the Lady Gaga documentary and then ended up watching Michael Jackson videos for a while. We have a work party on Friday that I'm really trying to get out of but I feel it might be impossible at this stage. Agh.
I'm feeling a bit down today, it hasn't been a great weekend overall.
I met my friend for a while anyway, that was nice. No major incidents for the evening. I came home and finished the Lady Gaga documentary and then ended up watching Michael Jackson videos for a while. We have a work party on Friday that I'm really trying to get out of but I feel it might be impossible at this stage. Agh.
I'm feeling a bit down today, it hasn't been a great weekend overall.
Thanks LaMa. I actually had an unexpectedly fun day yesterday and only 1 pint was consumed, so it was great.
I had a good day in work today! Finally, haha. Ah no, it seems to have all calmed down and I don't have to go to the party either, so I'm delighted.
I'm still a bit sick but going to a weights class in the gym shortly and will get to bed early. Having a wax tomorrow and might gym again, not sure. Food today has been pretty good.
I had a good day in work today! Finally, haha. Ah no, it seems to have all calmed down and I don't have to go to the party either, so I'm delighted.
I'm still a bit sick but going to a weights class in the gym shortly and will get to bed early. Having a wax tomorrow and might gym again, not sure. Food today has been pretty good.
Thanks Cate.
I'm feeling pissed off today. When is the good stuff going to start happening?! I've had to put up with so much shit from people this year and I am just fed up. I really need circumstances to take a dramatic turn for the better because I am just worn down. I've gotten physically ill because of it.
You know, in general terms, it's been a great year of taking risks and the feedback I've got from acquaintances and strangers has been overwhelmingly positive, and yet the people in my own circle have not been supportive or kind or just not been there. Maybe when you start making changes, the people that know you can sense that, and they don't like it. It's hard to explain why I'm cross - I just think I deserve better.
I'm feeling pissed off today. When is the good stuff going to start happening?! I've had to put up with so much shit from people this year and I am just fed up. I really need circumstances to take a dramatic turn for the better because I am just worn down. I've gotten physically ill because of it.
You know, in general terms, it's been a great year of taking risks and the feedback I've got from acquaintances and strangers has been overwhelmingly positive, and yet the people in my own circle have not been supportive or kind or just not been there. Maybe when you start making changes, the people that know you can sense that, and they don't like it. It's hard to explain why I'm cross - I just think I deserve better.