Emily Rose: The Reboot

That's an excellent weigh-in, Em :) Well done also on the veggies & fruit & 13 cigs instead of 20.
I search for quotes or sayings or whatever takes my fancy but I am not going into fact-checking the research of why anyone should give up smoking. I think most of us know 😊
Excuses for not quitting smoking:
The damage is done.
You might feel that because you smoke, you've already increased your chance of getting cancer or another smoking-related disease, so quitting now won't make any difference.
As soon as you quit, your body starts to repair itself. You'll notice improvements in your breathing and sense of taste and smell just a few days after stopping.
You'll also improve the health of your family and friends by not exposing them to passive smoking.
(+ You may find out someone fancied you but backed away from the smoke smell. He could be the one! )
 
Congrats on the good weigh-in. I hope you got a good rest in and that work goes well.
Best of luck with cutting back on sweets--you know that is my biggest struggle!
 
Cate said:
(+ You may find out someone fancied you but backed away from the smoke smell. He could be the one! )
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- I'm raising an eyebrow at this one Cate. 🤨😂
- Thanks Liza. Yes, the sweets are a struggle for us all, I think.

Exercise: Just didn't have the energy. Work was draining.

Food:
Breakfast: cappuccino
Mid-morning: coffee and milk; can of fanta orange; 1 lindor chocolate; 1 small kitkat
Lunch: egg and cress sandwich with tomato tapanade; schweppes lime and mango can
Mid-afternoon: 1 small toblerone sweet
Dinner: cold breaded cod with potatoes, onion, courgette and peppers (really not nice cold - a lesson learned there!)
Evening: 3 profiteroles with cream; tea and milk

There was loads of rubbish in the office today so I didn't do too bad with it. Dinner was awful and I didn't enjoy the profiteroles either, to be honest. I'm very low this evening. I went to bed the minute I got home from work and slept till nearly 8pm, which is a long time. I am really fighting off wine cravings but I guess the long sleep helped to kill off most of the evening, so it's easier. I don't really know how I'm going to keep going on like this. And I've never looked better - got so many compliments today! Sigh.

Weight: 168.8; BF 39.4%; BMI 25.7

Cigs: 15 yesterday, will update today in tomorrow's post.

So yeah, back to doom and gloom. David Mitchell is an English writer and comedian who has an amazing story about meeting his wife Victoria and she wasn't really interested and starting seeing someone else. He had been single for most of his life and he had been happy with that, and after he met her, he fell into this dark depression because he was so in love with her. That's what I feel like. I was happy being single and now I am so lonely because I got a glimpse of what things could be like if I had that support system and champion in my corner. It's a bitter pill to swallow.
 
Emilyrose said:
Weight: 168.6; BF 39.3%; BMI 25.7

That's a good weigh-in.
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So is this one:
Emilyrose said:
Weight: 168.8; BF 39.4%; BMI 25.7
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Well into the 170s, 2 days in a row. I see no reason for
Emilyrose said:
doom and gloom.
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Emilyrose said:
- :ROFLMAO: There must be something about men and heavy machinery Rob!
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So you think ladies like a man with a really big tractor? LOL, mine isn't so big, more medium sized, small compared to a lot of the local farmers. But hey, at least I got one ;)
 
Too bad your dinner was not good. Otherwise your food has been looking so healthy and good. I wish so much you could find a really engaging activity to do or group to join where you could really get into it. I think you are in need of a breath of fresh air coming into your life. I so hope it materializes soon.
 
- Haha, one tractor is better than none, Rob!
- Thanks for the hug, kind Cate.
- Thanks Marsia. To be honest, I think I have enough hobbies and interests. I'm busy enough with them. I need something though, you're right.
- Thanks Liza.

Exercise: Went for a really good run at lunchtime. 10 min slow, 1 min walk, 10 min accelerated, 1 min walk, 10 min slow. It was a little bit harder than the runs so far, I felt good doing it. I met one of the tennis ladies going around, she told me I was 'flying it'. Which was nice.

Food:
Breakfast: porridge, pumpkin seeds, raisins and milk; 1 piece watermelon
Mid-morning: 1 decaf coffee and milk; 1 tea and milk; 3 profiteroles with cream
Mid-afternoon: Decaf coffee and milk; salad of 4 sushi rolls, avocado, celery, tomatoes, carrot, sun-dried tomatoes, cucumber and soy sauce; can of lucozade; milk from carton
Evening: tea and milk; 2 slices toast with butter and marmalade; 1 small yellow snack; 1 chocolate digestive biscuit

I intend on eating that porridge breakfast every morning but it's taken me 17 days of the month of July to actually do it! Not a bad eating day overall. I gave the rest of the profiteroles to Dad this evening, so they are gone.

Weight: 168.9; BF 39.4%; BMI 25.7

Cigs: 14 yesterday, 16 today.

I have a meal out with drinks tomorrow, which is a bit of a disaster. Still, I had a good day overall in terms of eating and exercise. I really wanted wine tonight but I had a nap and then went home for a while instead. If I have to nap every evening until that urge disappears, then so be it.
 
Being complimented on "flying it", having porridge for breakfast (I had decided to have it more often too), having a nap instead of wine.....It all sounds a bit better Em. Plenty more hugs where that one came from xo
Hugging someone who isn't drowned in perfume or cigarettes is SO much nicer! xoxo
 
Emilyrose said:
Went for a really good run at lunchtime. 10 min slow, 1 min walk, 10 min accelerated, 1 min walk, 10 min slow. It was a little bit harder than the runs so far, I felt good doing it. I met one of the tennis ladies going around, she told me I was 'flying it'. Which was nice.
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That sounds like a really good training session with those intervals. i find that sort of thing really challenging to shift into 'accelerated' as I am usually much happier keeping things slow and easy at talking level--(though I guess when I hit the hills I'm never at talking level) But yeah i tried once to improve my speed with doing accelerated intervals and didn't do so well! haha Nice job on 'flying it'!
 
- Lol, I love your little comment at the end, Cate. Hugs all round.
- I've never watched Peep Show but I really want to read his book now, MsBubbles.
- Thanks Liza. The app I use actually tells you when you're running too fast or slow, it's really cool. Normally I'm going too fast on the slow runs!!

Exercise: Nada.

Food:
Breakfast: natural yoghurt, mixed nuts; coffee and milk
Mid-morning: 5 grapes, green tea with infusions
Lunch: sweet chilli chicken wrap; mars bar; cappuccino
Dinner: 6 slices of the worst margarita pizza of all time
Drinks: 3 pints Penoni; 1 glass pinot grigio; 1 large whiskey with orange cordial and water

Weight: 169.3; BF 39.4%; BMI 25.8

Cigs: I think I'm on 24 now. Eep. Will give final count tomorrow.

Ugh. It's hard to be on your own. I really felt it tonight when a few of them were saying to the younger girls on the team, 'You'll meet someone, enjoy being single, blah blah' and that it all worked out for them, look at us!, and it was all the married women on the team self-congratulating themselves and urging the younger women on and I was just ignored. That's hard sometimes. Girl world is a minefield and I don't fit in and I've probably lost friendships over it, because a lot of women just want to talk about their relationship or dating all the time and they all think I'm a weirdo because I'm never in a relationship. I feel undermined and devalued. That's how I felt tonight. I don't think it was intentional, I don't blame anyone for it. But it didn't exactly send me home feeling alive and free. And I think I honestly looked great, which is the sad part. Wore a dress I've never worn before, but unfortunately, there was no one around to appreciate it. :(

Anyway, enough with the feeling bad about myself stuff because the world isn't applauding any of my life choices. I just need to find more people that are in my corner. I think that's what I am really lacking.
 
Hi, Em. I'm glad you liked my little addendum xo
Women of any age can be very exclusive of anyone who doesn't fit their narrative. I get excluded in conversations/lunches with the widows(& a couple of others) at the golf club because I am married, I am happy & I don't bitch about my husband. I'm glad there are quite a few that I do like & get along well with. By coincidence, they are married, but I don't like or dislike anyone for that reason. I have given up trying to work out what other women think or why. I like the ones I like & who are genuinely nice to me. They don't have to like me, but of course that helps.
They probably don't think you're a weirdo, Em. I bet they don't think you're boring. They can think what they like.
You are alive & free & I bet you looked great in your new dress!
:grouphug: I thought another hug wouldn't go astray!
 
I do hope you find more people that are in your corner. I'm sort of surprised you don't know a lot of other single women your age--I thought it was a lot more common nowadays to be single...
I am sorry for your sadness about it all. I'm glad you can see you are looking great though!
 
I agree with Cate, and in my experience, even if I am in a group of moms (where I am finally not being labeled as a slacker because I don't work full time) the groups often divide into smaller and smaller categories. I find a lot of people don't branch out and meet other types of people, and they get insular and sometimes non-inclusive. I almost never feel at home in a group, and I just chalk it up to the cliquishness of groups. I hope you don't worry and can feel happy being yourself while also looking great!
 
- Good to know you can be excluded even by widows, Cate! 🤣 I'm over it now, thanks for the hug.
- Hi Liza. No, not in Ireland anyway.
- Thanks Marsia. I feel happier in myself today.

I had a good day in work and am getting on well with the new girl, which is always nice. It was a happy day, even though I was tired. I felt included and respected. Haha.

Full disclosure: I had an additional large whiskey with orange cordial and water last night. 29 cigarettes. Chronic.

Exercise: Too tired.

Food:
Breakfast: 3 pieces watermelon; coffee and oat milk
Mid-morning: Coffee and oat milk; handful of mixed nuts; small chocolate bar; 1 choc digestive biscuit
Lunch: Half a chicken and stuffing sandwich
Mid-afternoon: Coffee and milk; small kitkat chunky 32 g
Evening: 12 inch goat's cheese pizza (I prob ate 8 inches of it); can of coke
Night: bottle of white wine 12.5%

Weight: 169.8; BF 39.2%; BMI 25.8

Cigs: Will update tomorrow.

Back on the wine. Once I break the chain of non-drinking days at all, I find it hard to get back on track. I am going for some social pints tomorrow and then that will be the end of this! Back on the wagon.

I heard this song today, it's beautiful. If you just stay true, some good things are coming back to you...

 
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Emilyrose said:
I had a good day in work and am getting on well with the new girl, which is always nice. It was a happy day, even though I was tired. I felt included and respected. Haha.
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Well you may laugh, Emilyrose, but it does make a difference ;) Haha.
  • "Healthy lungs, songs unsung, kick the habit, stay young."
 
- I think I was laughing Cate because things can change so much in a day. I guess it's a reminder to just keep hanging in there.
- Yes Liza, it's something I have been searching for all my life. I've found it for the most part.

I've lost my mind a little bit this weekend and I ended up having 2 whiskey and cokes, 2 whiskeys and orange juice and 1 whiskey and water after I posted yesterday, on top of the wine. I spent a large chunk of the day sleeping it off. Sigh. Still drinking today but this is the end of it. The self-punishment ends here. Cigarettes were 21.

Exercise: Walked for about an hour and 10 minutes. There's a bit of a breeze but it was a lovely evening. Got rid of some of the cobwebs.

Food:
Breakfast: ham and cheese jambon; orange juice; milk
Lunch: protein chocolate drink 500ml
Mid-afternoon: 2 pints of Birra Moretti; popcorn
Evening: salt and vinegar crisps 125 g pack; bottle of white wine 12%

No appetite today.

Weight: 169.9; BF 39.1%; BMI 25.8
The whiskey appears to be burning off all the fat. Lol.

Cigs: Will update tomorrow. Probably 20.

Tomorrow, I will start anew I guess. Really aiming for a smoke-free day tomorrow. I'm going to treat it like an experiment. Will my life instantly improve if I stop smoking? I have a feeling that it will. Quitting them will leave a gap for something better to fill.

I've felt like Tom was thinking about me today. A lot of 'signs' from the universe that I won't get into. At one point, he told me we were going to be 'lifelong friends.' I guess what it all boils down to is that I really miss my friend...
 
~If you give up smoking- Within six months your stress levels are likely to have dropped, and you are less likely to be coughing up phlegm.
After one year, your lungs will be much healthier & breathing will be easier than if you had kept smoking.~​
When I first gave up smoking (for the final time) I knew it was it because I had decided, for a fact, that was it. I started feeling better almost straight away. It took a while to feel better physically but mentally it was instant. If you want to enough, Em I'm sure you are as strong-minded as me.
 
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