After my mom quit smoking, she could not be around cigarette smoke anymore. It just crashed her immune system. I think the body has to really work to overcome the effects of smoking, so I think you are going to feel way better. Plus there are cosmetic reasons like not having Teflon skin when you are old. I've been thinking about how you were happy being single before you started thinking about having kids and being coupled up. I have really been working on not letting my expectations get in the way of my happiness, because I can really get caught up in how unfair my weird situation is and really get derailed. What if it's ok being who you are, where you are, doing what you are doing, and you don't need to be doing or being something else? (I pose this question in the spirit of curiosity!)
Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
I'm rooting for you for your smoke-free day Emily!
I find it so hard quitting things as it seems to dominate my mind even more as I'm trying to not do it...but knowing all the reasons you want to quit should help you through that. And then after a few days of seeing it through that, I think things get much better as you prove to yourself that you can feel the craving and not respond.
I find it so hard quitting things as it seems to dominate my mind even more as I'm trying to not do it...but knowing all the reasons you want to quit should help you through that. And then after a few days of seeing it through that, I think things get much better as you prove to yourself that you can feel the craving and not respond.
- I know. It's so upsetting that I can't stick to it Cate.
- Thanks Marsia. Yeah, that's a good point.
- Thanks Liza. It is that thing of the more you try not to think about something, the more power it seems to get. Sigh. I really hope I figure it out soon.
Last night, I also had two large whiskeys with orange juice. Then I had half a chicken, stuffing and sun-dried tomato sandwich and some milk, which probably saved me a bit today.
Exercise: Went for a really good interval run, which I was happy with.
Food:
Breakfast: the end of the salt and vinegar crisps and the orange juice; banana
Mid-morning: cappuccino; fruit scone with butter and marmalade
Dinner: roast lamb, gravy, potatoes, roast potatoes, carrots and broccoli
Dessert: apple and blackberry crumble with carte d'or vanilla ice cream and cream
Snacks: 2 caramel digestive biscuits; coffee and milk; tea and milk
Evening: McDonald's quarter pounder with cheese, medium fries, ketchup and a strawberry milkshake
Loads of food today in my body's battle to get back to normal after all the booze at the weekend. The sodium in McDonald's is amazing. I feel tired but fine. No drinking tonight and for the week I hope!!!
Weight: 171.4; BF 39.1%; BMI 26.1
Back in the 170s and I'm not expecting a good weigh-in tomorrow but I should be eating a lot better this week, so hopefully I will get back on track with everything.
Cigs: Yesterday was 20. It will be less today.
Here's to a good week.
- Thanks Marsia. Yeah, that's a good point.
- Thanks Liza. It is that thing of the more you try not to think about something, the more power it seems to get. Sigh. I really hope I figure it out soon.
Last night, I also had two large whiskeys with orange juice. Then I had half a chicken, stuffing and sun-dried tomato sandwich and some milk, which probably saved me a bit today.
Exercise: Went for a really good interval run, which I was happy with.
Food:
Breakfast: the end of the salt and vinegar crisps and the orange juice; banana
Mid-morning: cappuccino; fruit scone with butter and marmalade
Dinner: roast lamb, gravy, potatoes, roast potatoes, carrots and broccoli
Dessert: apple and blackberry crumble with carte d'or vanilla ice cream and cream
Snacks: 2 caramel digestive biscuits; coffee and milk; tea and milk
Evening: McDonald's quarter pounder with cheese, medium fries, ketchup and a strawberry milkshake
Loads of food today in my body's battle to get back to normal after all the booze at the weekend. The sodium in McDonald's is amazing. I feel tired but fine. No drinking tonight and for the week I hope!!!
Weight: 171.4; BF 39.1%; BMI 26.1
Back in the 170s and I'm not expecting a good weigh-in tomorrow but I should be eating a lot better this week, so hopefully I will get back on track with everything.
Cigs: Yesterday was 20. It will be less today.
Here's to a good week.
Cate
Long term member
You can, Em & you will. I have faith in you. Most people try to give up smoking many, many times before they do. Let's both have a healthy week xoxo
- Thanks Cate. I'll try to keep the faith and have a healthy week.
- Thanks Liza. I did not cook that dinner myself, lol.
Exercise: I called out home so I sacrificed the run.
Food:
Breakfast: carrot juice; porridge with pumpkin seeds, raisins and milk
Mid-morning: some milk; 1 chewing gum; decaf coffee and milk
Lunch: I got out the Soupmaker for the first time in a long time and made a veggie soup with potates, carrots, onion, celery, broccoli and asparagus - basically, everything I had in the fridge. It was watery and bland but I imagined it was a magical soup and that every spoonful I ingested was bringing love and beauty into my body. I'm gone a bit mad.; 2 slices of toast, 1 with butter and cheddar cheese, the other with avocado and cheddar cheese
Snack: 94 g pack of white buttons; can of coke
Evening: 2 cups tea and milk; 1 decaf coffee and milk; 2 slices brown bread, one with butter and marmalade, the other with philadelphia cheese; 2 caramel digestive biscuits
More bread than I would like but I was happy that I made the soup. I must keep experimenting with the Soupmaker and try to find a recipe that is both healthy but also tasty.
Weight: 171.7; BF 39.2%; BMI 26.2
My aunt was visiting today and she remarked that I had lost loads of weight and my skin looked really clear and I had lovely teeth. That made me feel good. A neighbour called too and sat around the table with me, my aunt and Mum having a cup of tea and a chat. It was lovely. My mum is going for a hip operation tomorrow so it was like her support circle. It really gave her a boost. I hope she's okay. Very worried about it but her surgeon seems great and I'm optimistic she will be fine.
Cigs: Yesterday was 13. 15 today.
Overall, a good day.
- Thanks Liza. I did not cook that dinner myself, lol.
Exercise: I called out home so I sacrificed the run.
Food:
Breakfast: carrot juice; porridge with pumpkin seeds, raisins and milk
Mid-morning: some milk; 1 chewing gum; decaf coffee and milk
Lunch: I got out the Soupmaker for the first time in a long time and made a veggie soup with potates, carrots, onion, celery, broccoli and asparagus - basically, everything I had in the fridge. It was watery and bland but I imagined it was a magical soup and that every spoonful I ingested was bringing love and beauty into my body. I'm gone a bit mad.; 2 slices of toast, 1 with butter and cheddar cheese, the other with avocado and cheddar cheese
Snack: 94 g pack of white buttons; can of coke
Evening: 2 cups tea and milk; 1 decaf coffee and milk; 2 slices brown bread, one with butter and marmalade, the other with philadelphia cheese; 2 caramel digestive biscuits
More bread than I would like but I was happy that I made the soup. I must keep experimenting with the Soupmaker and try to find a recipe that is both healthy but also tasty.
Weight: 171.7; BF 39.2%; BMI 26.2
My aunt was visiting today and she remarked that I had lost loads of weight and my skin looked really clear and I had lovely teeth. That made me feel good. A neighbour called too and sat around the table with me, my aunt and Mum having a cup of tea and a chat. It was lovely. My mum is going for a hip operation tomorrow so it was like her support circle. It really gave her a boost. I hope she's okay. Very worried about it but her surgeon seems great and I'm optimistic she will be fine.
Cigs: Yesterday was 13. 15 today.
Overall, a good day.
With your mom's hip operation, does she get a lot of aftercare? I hope all goes perfectly and that she heals up quickly. That's great you all could be there for her as her support system. I put a lot of either garlic, onions, or herbs in my soups because I like a lot of flavor and I throw in a little brown rice or barley often because I've tried those weight loss soups, and I am still hungry after eating them. Funny, I just made soup today for the first time in a while, too. I hope you aren't too concerned at a little weight gain while you experiment with how to quit smoking. I think many people gain a little when they are quitting. So nice you got good compliments from your aunt! It does sound like a good day. 
- Thanks Marsia. The hospital she is in is top-class and I sure they will take good care of her when she is in there. A lot of the hip recovery you have to do on your own though. Anyway, she's being minded for the moment.
- I think it gave her a huge lift to be surrounded by all the people who really love her. She deserves it Cate. She's had a really bad few years. I hope there are much happier times ahead for her.
Exercise: I visited Mum in the hospital and didn't feel fresh enough to do anything this morning. I will get back on track with this later in the week.
Food:
Breakfast: 2 weetabix; carrot juice
Mid-morning: small chocolate biscuit bar; 1 tea and milk; 1 coffee and milk
Lunch: sweet chilli chicken sandwich; large triple choc cookie
Mid-afternoon: coffee and milk
Evening: horrible tuna and feta cheese wrap, just so bland; can of coke
Night: bottle of red wine 13%
More wine for the whiner. I have not drank it all, I am only on my first glass, so maybe I will stop. I have to see. It was a tough day because I was waiting for my mum to call me after her surgery and I was really worried about her all day. She's okay. We went in to see her and she looked a bit clammy and grey but she was in pretty good spirits. She did get sick as she is really nauseous after the anesthetic and her blood pressure shot up, which was scary. But she was back to a normal range by the time we went away again. She has lovely nurses and the place is like a hotel, it's honestly the best facilities I've ever seen in my life. So that's comforting. But yeah, too many emotions tonight, I've turned to the wine again, which I am sad about. But I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances. Not good enough I suppose, but I will try to go easy on myself. I really couldn't cope if something happened to her.
Weight: 171.4; BF 39.3%; BMI 26.1
Cigs: TBD
Tomorrow is more work and then I will visit Mum in the evening. I was thinking today it would be pretty cool to be a doctor. The job satisfaction is so immense. I know it's a hell of a lot of work though. Maybe I'll retrain at 40 and become a doctor. Or maybe try to get an acting job on a medical drama. Lol.
- I think it gave her a huge lift to be surrounded by all the people who really love her. She deserves it Cate. She's had a really bad few years. I hope there are much happier times ahead for her.
Exercise: I visited Mum in the hospital and didn't feel fresh enough to do anything this morning. I will get back on track with this later in the week.
Food:
Breakfast: 2 weetabix; carrot juice
Mid-morning: small chocolate biscuit bar; 1 tea and milk; 1 coffee and milk
Lunch: sweet chilli chicken sandwich; large triple choc cookie
Mid-afternoon: coffee and milk
Evening: horrible tuna and feta cheese wrap, just so bland; can of coke
Night: bottle of red wine 13%
More wine for the whiner. I have not drank it all, I am only on my first glass, so maybe I will stop. I have to see. It was a tough day because I was waiting for my mum to call me after her surgery and I was really worried about her all day. She's okay. We went in to see her and she looked a bit clammy and grey but she was in pretty good spirits. She did get sick as she is really nauseous after the anesthetic and her blood pressure shot up, which was scary. But she was back to a normal range by the time we went away again. She has lovely nurses and the place is like a hotel, it's honestly the best facilities I've ever seen in my life. So that's comforting. But yeah, too many emotions tonight, I've turned to the wine again, which I am sad about. But I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances. Not good enough I suppose, but I will try to go easy on myself. I really couldn't cope if something happened to her.
Weight: 171.4; BF 39.3%; BMI 26.1
Cigs: TBD
Tomorrow is more work and then I will visit Mum in the evening. I was thinking today it would be pretty cool to be a doctor. The job satisfaction is so immense. I know it's a hell of a lot of work though. Maybe I'll retrain at 40 and become a doctor. Or maybe try to get an acting job on a medical drama. Lol.
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I'm glad your mom is doing ok after the surgery--it is hard waiting for those calls and all the worry...
I'm glad the hospital seems really good--it's nice when you can trust that they are in the best of care. I hope you can relax a bit more now that the surgery is done.
I'm glad the hospital seems really good--it's nice when you can trust that they are in the best of care. I hope you can relax a bit more now that the surgery is done.
yes I think I would far prefer that to being an actual doctor!
I'm glad you are being compassionate toward yourself with all that stress especially. Glad the surgery went well and that your mom's doing well now. I felt similarly about maybe becoming a nurse after taking care of my mom and grandmother in hospice care. It's very gratifying knowing that someone in pain and duress has you to make sure they are comfortable and safe. It must be so nice visiting her in the lovely facility. That makes such a huge difference.
- Hi Cate. She does. She thanked me tonight for being a 'wonderful daughter.'
- Yes, I feel a lot better about things today Liza.
- Yeah, it's just such a meaningful career, Marsia.
Last night, I also had a large whiskey with orange juice and smoked 18 cigarettes in total for the day. Feeling a bit ropey today. My own fault!
Exercise: No time really.
Food:
Breakfast: banana; orange juice; 1 slice toast and butter
Mid-morning: Coffee and milk; 1 choc digestive biscuit
Lunch: toasted ham, cheese, tomato and onion sandwich; chips and ketchup; can of pepsi
Mid-afternoon: Coffee and milk
Evening: Starbucks latte and awful ham and cheese panini. Just awful.
Night: raspberry kombucha and fry's peppermint cream
Not a great eating day but I was wrecked.
Weight: 169.6; BF 39.2%; BMI 25.8
Cigs: TBD
I visited Mum tonight and she is like a new woman. We went for a walk up the corridor and she seemed as strong as an ox. She was so motivated and back to her old self, after a 4-year absence! It's an absolute miracle. She has her spirit back and I am so relieved and happy and thrilled for her. This is the turning point we've been praying for. So I have that to be grateful for tonight. And the fact that I can go to sleep soon.
- Yes, I feel a lot better about things today Liza.
- Yeah, it's just such a meaningful career, Marsia.
Last night, I also had a large whiskey with orange juice and smoked 18 cigarettes in total for the day. Feeling a bit ropey today. My own fault!
Exercise: No time really.
Food:
Breakfast: banana; orange juice; 1 slice toast and butter
Mid-morning: Coffee and milk; 1 choc digestive biscuit
Lunch: toasted ham, cheese, tomato and onion sandwich; chips and ketchup; can of pepsi
Mid-afternoon: Coffee and milk
Evening: Starbucks latte and awful ham and cheese panini. Just awful.
Night: raspberry kombucha and fry's peppermint cream
Not a great eating day but I was wrecked.
Weight: 169.6; BF 39.2%; BMI 25.8
Cigs: TBD
I visited Mum tonight and she is like a new woman. We went for a walk up the corridor and she seemed as strong as an ox. She was so motivated and back to her old self, after a 4-year absence! It's an absolute miracle. She has her spirit back and I am so relieved and happy and thrilled for her. This is the turning point we've been praying for. So I have that to be grateful for tonight. And the fact that I can go to sleep soon.
That's great news about your Mother! Well done for all your support.
I had a laugh at your descriptions of your unappetizing dinner items! I love that. It's good to try things and then kick them off the food rotation list! Although it can be hard to find things that taste good, that we don't overeat on, and that do our bodies good. It's possible, just kinda hard, especially when you've got a busy life.
Oh and I wish I hadn't seen that caramel digestives exist! Must not google...
I had a laugh at your descriptions of your unappetizing dinner items! I love that. It's good to try things and then kick them off the food rotation list! Although it can be hard to find things that taste good, that we don't overeat on, and that do our bodies good. It's possible, just kinda hard, especially when you've got a busy life.
Oh and I wish I hadn't seen that caramel digestives exist! Must not google...
Cate
Long term member
Hold that in your heart, Em. My Mum once reached across while I was taking her for her favourite drive to "see the mountains", placed her hand gently on mine & said, "You're such a good daughter" in such a loving way. I can still feel it when I remember that day. She was never very affectionate or tactile.
That is wonderful news about your Mum! She was probably in pain for years & thought that was her lot. Sending you an extra hug from another Mum
That is so great to hear! Already feeling that much better after surgery seems like a miracle!
I hope you had a lovely sleep. It's wonderful how much the operation helped your mom. Do you think she was just in pain and not doing well from that the last few years? I really think it's great that you are running, swimming, and playing tennis to get your stress levels down. I think taking away cigarettes and alcohol is so hard because they are strong coping mechanisms for dealing with stress, so having a bunch of better ways to relax and reset is going to be so good in the long run. I think you're doing so well with keeping logging. It's so hard to switch out of these habits, but it's going to be so worth it when we do!!
- Yes, the caramel digestives are quite tasty, MsBubbles...
- Thanks for the hug Cate. I need it! See below...
- It was a miracle Liza and then today happened...
- Thanks Marsia. I'm not doing very well at all to be honest but I will continue to log because at least it's making me more and more aware of things and the way I am and maybe why I eat certain things or smoke the way I do.
Exercise: I decided to visit Mum in the hospital instead and I am glad I did.
Food:
Breakfast: slice of toast and butter; carrot juice; coffee and milk
Mid-morning: glass of orange juice; 1 digestive biscuit
Lunch: chicken pesto pasta; ginger and lemon kombucha (trying to stay away from the fizzy drinks - this is a compromise); 70 g bag of fizzy jellies
Mid-afternoon: Coffee and milk
Dinner: cheese, chicken and peppers panini (better than yesterday's panini but still not great. Have to accept that the panini has had
its day); cappuccino
Now: 10.5% bottle of prosecco (not celebratory)
Last night, I went to bed early just after 10, managed to get to sleep and was woken up at around 11.30 pm by my housemate and her boyfriend making an awful racket *ahem*. Still wide awake at 1.30 am. Finally got to sleep but looked so tired this morning and felt a bit tired all day. Hence the jellies, which I think helped.
For some reason, I decided to skip tennis and just drive straight to the shopping centre near the hospital after work to grab some food and then visit Mum. When I walked in, she was resting peacefully. She opened her eyes and then told me that she'd heard a 'pop' at lunchtime when she was manouvering around the bed on her crutches and had ended up falling and hitting her head on the ground. It turns out that the prosthetic hip is still in place but she has fractured her leg. Back in for surgery tomorrow. To say I'm upset and disappointed and lost at sea at this news would be an understatement. We had ONE DAY of joy only to be back in the shit today.
Anyway, while I was there, her surgeon visited her and explained that he will be bringing in another surgeon tomorrow with him. They will take out the prosthesis in there now, replace it and then pin the leg fracture. It sounds complicated. I caught a peak at him as he walked past me in the corridor and he has really bright blue eyes, kind of like Gene Wilder, and he seems like a lovely man. I hope he gets her all sorted tomorrow and this is the end of this awful nightmare. I just feel so, so sorry for her. We're not out of the woods yet.
I won't get to see her tomorrow as she won't be out of surgery and awake till late but I really hope and pray that she is fine and that this is just a little setback and we'll be back on the road to freedom and happiness in no time. Please send kind thoughts and prayers, I need your support.
Weight: 170.5; BF 39.3%; BMI 26
I'm fine with hovering around here for now. Bigger fish to fry!
Cigs yesterday were 14. Today TBD. Probably a lot.
- Thanks for the hug Cate. I need it! See below...
- It was a miracle Liza and then today happened...
- Thanks Marsia. I'm not doing very well at all to be honest but I will continue to log because at least it's making me more and more aware of things and the way I am and maybe why I eat certain things or smoke the way I do.
Exercise: I decided to visit Mum in the hospital instead and I am glad I did.
Food:
Breakfast: slice of toast and butter; carrot juice; coffee and milk
Mid-morning: glass of orange juice; 1 digestive biscuit
Lunch: chicken pesto pasta; ginger and lemon kombucha (trying to stay away from the fizzy drinks - this is a compromise); 70 g bag of fizzy jellies
Mid-afternoon: Coffee and milk
Dinner: cheese, chicken and peppers panini (better than yesterday's panini but still not great. Have to accept that the panini has had
its day); cappuccino
Now: 10.5% bottle of prosecco (not celebratory)
Last night, I went to bed early just after 10, managed to get to sleep and was woken up at around 11.30 pm by my housemate and her boyfriend making an awful racket *ahem*. Still wide awake at 1.30 am. Finally got to sleep but looked so tired this morning and felt a bit tired all day. Hence the jellies, which I think helped.
For some reason, I decided to skip tennis and just drive straight to the shopping centre near the hospital after work to grab some food and then visit Mum. When I walked in, she was resting peacefully. She opened her eyes and then told me that she'd heard a 'pop' at lunchtime when she was manouvering around the bed on her crutches and had ended up falling and hitting her head on the ground. It turns out that the prosthetic hip is still in place but she has fractured her leg. Back in for surgery tomorrow. To say I'm upset and disappointed and lost at sea at this news would be an understatement. We had ONE DAY of joy only to be back in the shit today.
Anyway, while I was there, her surgeon visited her and explained that he will be bringing in another surgeon tomorrow with him. They will take out the prosthesis in there now, replace it and then pin the leg fracture. It sounds complicated. I caught a peak at him as he walked past me in the corridor and he has really bright blue eyes, kind of like Gene Wilder, and he seems like a lovely man. I hope he gets her all sorted tomorrow and this is the end of this awful nightmare. I just feel so, so sorry for her. We're not out of the woods yet.
I won't get to see her tomorrow as she won't be out of surgery and awake till late but I really hope and pray that she is fine and that this is just a little setback and we'll be back on the road to freedom and happiness in no time. Please send kind thoughts and prayers, I need your support.
Weight: 170.5; BF 39.3%; BMI 26
I'm fine with hovering around here for now. Bigger fish to fry!
Cigs yesterday were 14. Today TBD. Probably a lot.
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I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. That's so unfair, Em, and I hope it is just a little setback and that she can heal up just as fast and well. I'm glad you were able to be there for her today, and she knows you wish you could be there tomorrow. Big, gargantuan hugs!!!