Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
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Sunflower_
Well-known member
Was action taken?! How was your day? Did you swim at the sea? I'm on the beach too but only swim in it when I'm a drunken mess..
Thanks Mat.
Hi Sunflower. Action was taken. I went for a 40 minute run this evening, I felt like a fucking warrior.
My day was okay, very, very busy. I met a girl at the yoga place who I honestly thought had just started her new job a few weeks ago and she told me that was back in February. Time is flying by.
I did swim in the sea! I'm feeling very brave lately, pushing myself out of that comfort zone into unknown waters. It's a great feeling. And actually, I drove to the beach all by myself, brought my picnic blanket and book and suncream, and for the first time, I didn't feel lonely or sad that I was there by myself. It felt great, liberating even.
I know this will sound a bit mad but something is brewing and it's going to be great. All my favourite songs played on the radio today, there was a load of bird shit on the roof of my car again this evening (my car has been getting a pounding lately) and a little spider just crawled over my keyboard there when I sat down to write this post. All signs of something epic about to happen. I'll keep ye posted.
(The songs on the radio thing - I had a big work event and on the drive to work in the morning, I heard an amazing song that was very apt for the day ahead and gave me a great feeling. I proceeded to have one of the best night's out ever, it was fab. So the song on the radio thing is always a strong indicator of what's in store.)
Right, better hit the hay, I'll leave you with this one that fits my mood:
Hi Sunflower. Action was taken. I went for a 40 minute run this evening, I felt like a fucking warrior.
My day was okay, very, very busy. I met a girl at the yoga place who I honestly thought had just started her new job a few weeks ago and she told me that was back in February. Time is flying by.
I did swim in the sea! I'm feeling very brave lately, pushing myself out of that comfort zone into unknown waters. It's a great feeling. And actually, I drove to the beach all by myself, brought my picnic blanket and book and suncream, and for the first time, I didn't feel lonely or sad that I was there by myself. It felt great, liberating even.
I know this will sound a bit mad but something is brewing and it's going to be great. All my favourite songs played on the radio today, there was a load of bird shit on the roof of my car again this evening (my car has been getting a pounding lately) and a little spider just crawled over my keyboard there when I sat down to write this post. All signs of something epic about to happen. I'll keep ye posted.
(The songs on the radio thing - I had a big work event and on the drive to work in the morning, I heard an amazing song that was very apt for the day ahead and gave me a great feeling. I proceeded to have one of the best night's out ever, it was fab. So the song on the radio thing is always a strong indicator of what's in store.)
Right, better hit the hay, I'll leave you with this one that fits my mood:
Sunflower_
Well-known member
Ahh I love Laura Marling - I saw her about 8 years ago in a tiny venue in Southsea. Absolutely adore her.
Thanks Cate. I guess we're all a bit mad.
Yeah, Laura Marling is phenomenal. She speaks to me.
Day actually turned out okay considering I was so behind in my work once again. I just didn't allow the stress to take hold, got it all done and left at a normal time. I got a little scared in our team meeting about how little I know about marketing but I guess that's why I'm there - to learn something new. I didn't get the job I interviewed for a few weeks ago, but that's okay. I guess this is what I am doing for the foreseeable future. That's such an interesting phrase - 'foreseeable future'. I am really trying to picture myself developing the best fitness and health regime I can manage without losing my mind in the foreseeable future. The problem is that it's always in the future and rarely in the present.
I was thinking of going for a short run now after work but I'm feeling lazy. I am going to cook dinner for the first time in ages though. I'm thinking chicken, some spices, chopped tomatoes, veg and linguine. Mmm.
No sign of the epic event yet but it's brewing.
Yeah, Laura Marling is phenomenal. She speaks to me.
Day actually turned out okay considering I was so behind in my work once again. I just didn't allow the stress to take hold, got it all done and left at a normal time. I got a little scared in our team meeting about how little I know about marketing but I guess that's why I'm there - to learn something new. I didn't get the job I interviewed for a few weeks ago, but that's okay. I guess this is what I am doing for the foreseeable future. That's such an interesting phrase - 'foreseeable future'. I am really trying to picture myself developing the best fitness and health regime I can manage without losing my mind in the foreseeable future. The problem is that it's always in the future and rarely in the present.
I was thinking of going for a short run now after work but I'm feeling lazy. I am going to cook dinner for the first time in ages though. I'm thinking chicken, some spices, chopped tomatoes, veg and linguine. Mmm.
No sign of the epic event yet but it's brewing.
Cate
Long term member
Haha, thanks Cate, that's the best compliment.
Ah lads. Another day, another drama. The woman on my team who I talked about a few posts back has handed in her notice. I don't know what impact this will have on me yet but I felt like things were just starting to calm down. I'm disappointed for her that she doesn't like the job but I'm not surprised. When you're not interested, you won't try, and she wasn't doing enough to get on top of things and get into it. She's a very nice woman though and she has a great sparky personality, so I will miss her for those aspects, but not really as a team member.
I have come home and sat into bed. There is a yoga class on at 8pm that I am contemplating, I'm not sure about it yet. I have to get up and get petrol in a bit so I won't be in bed for the night at least. I have to make up my lunch for tomorrow and stuff as well. I feel really fat today. I ate a really heavy lunch and I just feel like a blob after it.
I have to laugh that I requested on here last week that I wanted to meet someone who would never delete my number. The last guy didn't even ask for my number, haha. I must really choose my words carefully. I want to meet a guy who will ask for my number in the first place and then never delete it!
Not sure on weekend plans but I am thinking gym in the morning. Might try for a really early-to-bed night as I am sleepy.
Ah lads. Another day, another drama. The woman on my team who I talked about a few posts back has handed in her notice. I don't know what impact this will have on me yet but I felt like things were just starting to calm down. I'm disappointed for her that she doesn't like the job but I'm not surprised. When you're not interested, you won't try, and she wasn't doing enough to get on top of things and get into it. She's a very nice woman though and she has a great sparky personality, so I will miss her for those aspects, but not really as a team member.
I have come home and sat into bed. There is a yoga class on at 8pm that I am contemplating, I'm not sure about it yet. I have to get up and get petrol in a bit so I won't be in bed for the night at least. I have to make up my lunch for tomorrow and stuff as well. I feel really fat today. I ate a really heavy lunch and I just feel like a blob after it.
I have to laugh that I requested on here last week that I wanted to meet someone who would never delete my number. The last guy didn't even ask for my number, haha. I must really choose my words carefully. I want to meet a guy who will ask for my number in the first place and then never delete it!
Not sure on weekend plans but I am thinking gym in the morning. Might try for a really early-to-bed night as I am sleepy.
Cate
Long term member
That is funny Emily! Are you likely to bump into him again? Hope you got a good night's sleep xoxoI have to laugh that I requested on here last week that I wanted to meet someone who would never delete my number. The last guy didn't even ask for my number, haha. I must really choose my words carefully. I want to meet a guy who will ask for my number in the first place and then never delete it!
I don't know Cate. I hope so.
Have a 5 mile run tonight, do not feel like going. I feel very out of shape. My weight has definitely gone up. I'm panicking slightly. I even contacted a dietician today. I'm thinking of doing some kind of programme to get me back on track. I did one before and it didn't really work, but if at first you don't succeed... I just want a flat stomach. Just to know what that feels like. I hate being self-conscious.
Food was pretty bad today. I don't know when I'll be back on track.
Have a 5 mile run tonight, do not feel like going. I feel very out of shape. My weight has definitely gone up. I'm panicking slightly. I even contacted a dietician today. I'm thinking of doing some kind of programme to get me back on track. I did one before and it didn't really work, but if at first you don't succeed... I just want a flat stomach. Just to know what that feels like. I hate being self-conscious.
Food was pretty bad today. I don't know when I'll be back on track.
Cate
Long term member
Oh, honey. I doubt very much that you are "out of shape". Rarely do our brains reflect how we actually look to others. I imagine you as looking feminine & fit. Try to see that picture of yourself. Get back into having a really healthy eating day & you will feel much better, xoxo Cate
Hey Cate. I think on a good day that I look fit and feminine. I love that you picture me that way.
I had a night of binge drinking once again. There is absolutely nothing wrong in my life and yet... I don't know what to say about that. I'm sick of the world and all its shit. I hate how prescriptive the whole journey is. Even trips away are unimaginative drivel. The next plane I get in will be me arriving at the airport asking when the next cheapest flight is that day and just charging into the unknown...
P.S. Epic event: Found a sticker while I was hoovering with my lucky number 5 on it tonight. Change still pending...
I had a night of binge drinking once again. There is absolutely nothing wrong in my life and yet... I don't know what to say about that. I'm sick of the world and all its shit. I hate how prescriptive the whole journey is. Even trips away are unimaginative drivel. The next plane I get in will be me arriving at the airport asking when the next cheapest flight is that day and just charging into the unknown...
P.S. Epic event: Found a sticker while I was hoovering with my lucky number 5 on it tonight. Change still pending...
Thank you Tru. I really hope so.
Hi Cate, that's cool. I would love to travel more. The above was just a drunken rant about nothing though. I get angry at myself for getting out of control and start blaming the world for my problems.
Yesterday was a write-off. I did do a bit of shopping and bought a new workout vest in the sales that says 'I Can. I Will.' on it. I wore it to the gym this morning.
Yes, I finally did what I've been threatening to do for weeks and got my arse to the gym. I sailed through the spinning class - the running has really helped me there. The abs workout however - oh dear God. Such a long way to go. I got through it and I did about 10 minutes on the rowing machine as well, so it was a really great morning workout. I'm going to try to go to the gym every morning this week. I'm feeling a bit depressed again so this will help to get my motivation and energy levels up. I start to feel down when it seems like there's nothing to look forward to or nothing's changing.
I have also booked in with a nutritionist for two weeks time. I can't really afford it but I just need help to stop the sugar binging. I'm going to focus more on exercise for the next few weeks and then take everything she says to me on board and try to make changes. I'm going to explain about having a binge eating disorder for years and how the ghosts of the bad habits from that time still linger. I hope she's good and can help me. I'm going to really give it a shot though.
Not sure what to do today - I really need new shoes for work but I'm a bit concerned about all the money I'm spending. I might take a stroll in anyway, it's nice enough outside. I'm going to make carrot, potato and broccoli soup for dinner and get my healthy lunch ready for tomorrow.
Hi Cate, that's cool. I would love to travel more. The above was just a drunken rant about nothing though. I get angry at myself for getting out of control and start blaming the world for my problems.
Yesterday was a write-off. I did do a bit of shopping and bought a new workout vest in the sales that says 'I Can. I Will.' on it. I wore it to the gym this morning.
Yes, I finally did what I've been threatening to do for weeks and got my arse to the gym. I sailed through the spinning class - the running has really helped me there. The abs workout however - oh dear God. Such a long way to go. I got through it and I did about 10 minutes on the rowing machine as well, so it was a really great morning workout. I'm going to try to go to the gym every morning this week. I'm feeling a bit depressed again so this will help to get my motivation and energy levels up. I start to feel down when it seems like there's nothing to look forward to or nothing's changing.
I have also booked in with a nutritionist for two weeks time. I can't really afford it but I just need help to stop the sugar binging. I'm going to focus more on exercise for the next few weeks and then take everything she says to me on board and try to make changes. I'm going to explain about having a binge eating disorder for years and how the ghosts of the bad habits from that time still linger. I hope she's good and can help me. I'm going to really give it a shot though.
Not sure what to do today - I really need new shoes for work but I'm a bit concerned about all the money I'm spending. I might take a stroll in anyway, it's nice enough outside. I'm going to make carrot, potato and broccoli soup for dinner and get my healthy lunch ready for tomorrow.
The End of Something and the Beginning of Something Else
Today marks the end of a very long journey of Emily wanting something and doing very little to achieve it. I've had a tiring, emotional day and I don't want these kinds of days anymore. I am ready to kick some butt and get out there and make shit happen. Conceive, believe, achieve. Do it, do it, do it. I'm tired of the self-pity and procrastination and the emotional neediness. I am going to have to just grow a pair and realise that the Universe doesn't owe me anything and I'm going to have to do my own rain dance if I want to make it rain. I can't be waiting for others to do the rain dance on my behalf. It does not work like that.
It's been a rollercoaster of a time, I've done a lot of growing and soul-searching and all the rest, but the time for rumination is over. I am going to move it, shake it, work it, make it happen. I am so fucking determined because I do not want another year to go by with me feeling I'm not 'there' yet and just not allowing myself to enjoy things and be happy.
So, tomorrow is the 1st of August, a new month and a new season. All of my anxiety and stress and worry is going to wither away like the leaves on the trees. My mind will be as crisp as the air I breathe.
Things I need to be happy:
Exercise. Sleep. That's about it. That's the focus. Everything else is just a bonus.
My week looks as follows:
Tuesday: Gym in the morning. Yoga after work. No time for thoughts to creep in. Move it, move it, move it.
Wednesday: Gym in the morning. Race after work.
Thursday: Gym in the morning. Yoga.
Friday: Run in the morning. Yoga and some tapas with my friend.
Saturday: Gym.
Sunday: Yoga.
Monday: Run and I have the day off.
Things are going to change around here. You better believe it.
Today marks the end of a very long journey of Emily wanting something and doing very little to achieve it. I've had a tiring, emotional day and I don't want these kinds of days anymore. I am ready to kick some butt and get out there and make shit happen. Conceive, believe, achieve. Do it, do it, do it. I'm tired of the self-pity and procrastination and the emotional neediness. I am going to have to just grow a pair and realise that the Universe doesn't owe me anything and I'm going to have to do my own rain dance if I want to make it rain. I can't be waiting for others to do the rain dance on my behalf. It does not work like that.
It's been a rollercoaster of a time, I've done a lot of growing and soul-searching and all the rest, but the time for rumination is over. I am going to move it, shake it, work it, make it happen. I am so fucking determined because I do not want another year to go by with me feeling I'm not 'there' yet and just not allowing myself to enjoy things and be happy.
So, tomorrow is the 1st of August, a new month and a new season. All of my anxiety and stress and worry is going to wither away like the leaves on the trees. My mind will be as crisp as the air I breathe.
Things I need to be happy:
Exercise. Sleep. That's about it. That's the focus. Everything else is just a bonus.
My week looks as follows:
Tuesday: Gym in the morning. Yoga after work. No time for thoughts to creep in. Move it, move it, move it.
Wednesday: Gym in the morning. Race after work.
Thursday: Gym in the morning. Yoga.
Friday: Run in the morning. Yoga and some tapas with my friend.
Saturday: Gym.
Sunday: Yoga.
Monday: Run and I have the day off.
Things are going to change around here. You better believe it.
Ok, so today wasn't exactly like I'd planned, but I remained calm and kept going anyway.
I literally could not get out of bed this morning to go to the gym. I was just too tired. So I promised myself I would go this evening. I did. I did a box fitness class.
I am making a new challenge for myself for the month of August since the running challenge has been such a monumental success. August is going to the be the Month of the Gym. I am planning on doing a gym class every day. There are some days that classes aren't running and one day I know for sure I won't be able to go, but for every day it's on and I can go, I'll be there. It's just to try to give myself a little boost. Since I am hopeless at the food, why not focus on the stuff I am good at a bit more?
I might add it to my signature actually, that could be fun.
Food today was fairly low volume in comparison to what it's been like the last few days (weeks?). But I actually don't feel massively hungry for the first evening in a while, so I'm going to go with it. I downloaded MyFitnessPal (again), so might try calorie tracking for a bit. Might as well try it all.
- greek yoghurt, cashew nuts, an apple (225 cal)
- grilled chicken breast, celery, peppers, tomatoes, red lentils, spinach and kale, courgette (392 cal)
- salt and vinegar crisps, twirl bar (488 cal)
- 1 coffee and milk, 2 teas and milk, mint tea, white tea (48 cal)
Total: 1,153 calories. I don't really count that as a 'success', I'm actually more interested in cutting out the sugar, which I did not achieve today. I know my calories will be a lot higher for the rest of the week. I'm not even sure I'm going to continue calorie counting but I'll do it for the moment anyway.
I literally could not get out of bed this morning to go to the gym. I was just too tired. So I promised myself I would go this evening. I did. I did a box fitness class.
I am making a new challenge for myself for the month of August since the running challenge has been such a monumental success. August is going to the be the Month of the Gym. I am planning on doing a gym class every day. There are some days that classes aren't running and one day I know for sure I won't be able to go, but for every day it's on and I can go, I'll be there. It's just to try to give myself a little boost. Since I am hopeless at the food, why not focus on the stuff I am good at a bit more?
I might add it to my signature actually, that could be fun.
Food today was fairly low volume in comparison to what it's been like the last few days (weeks?). But I actually don't feel massively hungry for the first evening in a while, so I'm going to go with it. I downloaded MyFitnessPal (again), so might try calorie tracking for a bit. Might as well try it all.
- greek yoghurt, cashew nuts, an apple (225 cal)
- grilled chicken breast, celery, peppers, tomatoes, red lentils, spinach and kale, courgette (392 cal)
- salt and vinegar crisps, twirl bar (488 cal)
- 1 coffee and milk, 2 teas and milk, mint tea, white tea (48 cal)
Total: 1,153 calories. I don't really count that as a 'success', I'm actually more interested in cutting out the sugar, which I did not achieve today. I know my calories will be a lot higher for the rest of the week. I'm not even sure I'm going to continue calorie counting but I'll do it for the moment anyway.
Really tired in that lovely, healthy way after a lot of physical exercise. Not the mentally exhausted kind.
Woke up this morning with some serious pain in my flanks, definitely my kidneys in major detox mode, very worrying. I get it from time to time but it was very bad this morning.
Exercise today was a spin and bodyweight class and a road race. The race went very well, I felt fantastic out there.
Food was overall high in calories but I did do a lot of exercise, so... it could be worse I think. I'm really going to try for around 1,500 tomorrow.
- cashew nuts, porridge, blueberries, whey protein, milk (513 cal)
- chicken breast and pearl barley with peppers, tomatoes, courgette, spinach and kale, lime juice and sea salt, emmenthal cheese (485 cal)
- half a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich, 1/4 ham and cheese, 1/4 egg mayo, tiny piece of orange sponge cake, small glass of mi wadi orange and water (387 cal)
- banana with almonds and greek yoghurt; slice of chocolate birthday cake; chocolate and toffee flapjack; 2 1/2 coffees and milk; 2 teas and milk (1,100 cal)
Total: 2,486 calories. So obviously my 'snacking' went off the rails and I didn't eat a proper dinner because I was doing the road race. I have nothing planned tomorrow evening, so no excuses for not having a good homemade dinner. I'm not that alarmed about the calorie amount considering all the exercise I did and the fact that I was quite low on cals yesterday. Obviously though, this kind of eating will not get me results.
Woke up this morning with some serious pain in my flanks, definitely my kidneys in major detox mode, very worrying. I get it from time to time but it was very bad this morning.
Exercise today was a spin and bodyweight class and a road race. The race went very well, I felt fantastic out there.
Food was overall high in calories but I did do a lot of exercise, so... it could be worse I think. I'm really going to try for around 1,500 tomorrow.
- cashew nuts, porridge, blueberries, whey protein, milk (513 cal)
- chicken breast and pearl barley with peppers, tomatoes, courgette, spinach and kale, lime juice and sea salt, emmenthal cheese (485 cal)
- half a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich, 1/4 ham and cheese, 1/4 egg mayo, tiny piece of orange sponge cake, small glass of mi wadi orange and water (387 cal)
- banana with almonds and greek yoghurt; slice of chocolate birthday cake; chocolate and toffee flapjack; 2 1/2 coffees and milk; 2 teas and milk (1,100 cal)
Total: 2,486 calories. So obviously my 'snacking' went off the rails and I didn't eat a proper dinner because I was doing the road race. I have nothing planned tomorrow evening, so no excuses for not having a good homemade dinner. I'm not that alarmed about the calorie amount considering all the exercise I did and the fact that I was quite low on cals yesterday. Obviously though, this kind of eating will not get me results.
Very upsetting incident at work yesterday so I abandoned the gym challenge for the moment. The good news is that I have Monday off, so loads of time for sleeping, cleaning and a bit of socialising thrown in for good measure. Meeting some of my friends for food and wine this evening, will probably head out tomorrow night as well, and then I have Sunday and Monday for organising my life.
I wish I had better coping skills when things go wrong, but I'm becoming more and more aware of my triggers, so that's good. I might have to postpone the nutritionist till next month, I am bombing through money like there's no tomorrow. Work is actually going ok (argument I had yesterday not included), I am constantly busy but I am coping better with that. I feel like I'm getting to know people finally. It has been the most difficult place I've ever worked in in terms of conflict though, but I guess my reactions to that is what I have to work on.
Meeting some of my friends for food and wine this evening, will probably head out tomorrow night as well, and then I have Sunday and Monday for organising my life. I wish I had better coping skills when things go wrong, but I'm becoming more and more aware of my triggers, so that's good. I might have to postpone the nutritionist till next month, I am bombing through money like there's no tomorrow. Work is actually going ok (argument I had yesterday not included), I am constantly busy but I am coping better with that. I feel like I'm getting to know people finally. It has been the most difficult place I've ever worked in in terms of conflict though, but I guess my reactions to that is what I have to work on.