Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
alligatorob
Respected Member
No, I don't think your reaction is too unusual. It is hard for some of us to appreciate that we are liked.
However it shouldn't be a surprise. I like you and based on many posts I know a lot of people here do also. I am sure many more in your real life do as well.
- Thanks Cate. It's a funny one.
- Thanks Marsia. We get on very well.
- Thanks Liza. It is lovely to be told for sure!
- Aw, thanks Rob.
Today was okay. Not a great day foodwise, to be honest. A hot chicken roll for lunch and some fizzy jellies - not good! But anyway, I'm working from home tomorrow so it will be easier to eat properly. I have a beef stew in the fridge and I can have a proper breakfast cos I won't be rushing out the door. I'm one of those people that no matter how much time I have in the mornings, I'm still rushing. It's really annoying, haha.
I went to a tennis lesson today with the Hot Coach (remember him?). I'm over it though. The lesson was good though, the time flew.
I'm going to try to do a few sea swims over the weekend as it's so good for you and I haven't braved it yet this year. Plus it's meant to be over 20 degrees both days so it would be good to get to the beach for a bit. I also have a baby shower to go to which I couldn't be less than enthusiastic about, but maybe it will be more enjoyable than I think it will. So I have to get a gift for that on Saturday. If you have any nice ideas, let me know. I don't know the gender.
I don't really have too much else to talk about. Still trying to strategise how to give up smoking instead of just doing it. It's just such a huge barrier for me. I know my life would transform if I quit them. I'm a firm believer that when you create a space in your life, something else will come along to fill it. In this case, I hope it's a positive thing. Surely anything would be more positive than smoking? Unless it's a class A drug habit, but I hope I know better than that at this stage! Haha.
- Thanks Marsia. We get on very well.
- Thanks Liza. It is lovely to be told for sure!
- Aw, thanks Rob.
Today was okay. Not a great day foodwise, to be honest. A hot chicken roll for lunch and some fizzy jellies - not good! But anyway, I'm working from home tomorrow so it will be easier to eat properly. I have a beef stew in the fridge and I can have a proper breakfast cos I won't be rushing out the door. I'm one of those people that no matter how much time I have in the mornings, I'm still rushing. It's really annoying, haha.
I went to a tennis lesson today with the Hot Coach (remember him?). I'm over it though. The lesson was good though, the time flew.
I'm going to try to do a few sea swims over the weekend as it's so good for you and I haven't braved it yet this year. Plus it's meant to be over 20 degrees both days so it would be good to get to the beach for a bit. I also have a baby shower to go to which I couldn't be less than enthusiastic about, but maybe it will be more enjoyable than I think it will. So I have to get a gift for that on Saturday. If you have any nice ideas, let me know. I don't know the gender.
I don't really have too much else to talk about. Still trying to strategise how to give up smoking instead of just doing it. It's just such a huge barrier for me. I know my life would transform if I quit them. I'm a firm believer that when you create a space in your life, something else will come along to fill it. In this case, I hope it's a positive thing. Surely anything would be more positive than smoking? Unless it's a class A drug habit, but I hope I know better than that at this stage! Haha.
Some nice ocean swims sound really good. We usually get an animal squeezy toy for baby showers. They are easy to clean and good for when the baby is teething. Our favorite is a giraffe toy. If it's someone we need to get something more expensive for, we throw in a gender neutral onesie, too. Board books (extra thick books that teethers can't destroy) are good, too. There is also this little blanket which is in the shape of a lamb that people really like - anything animal and cute and baby-safe usually works well.
With giving up addictive things, it's usually a good idea to start doing the replacement thing before giving up the addiction so there is already something positive in place. It helps to have things that replace what you are using the addictive substance for. So if you smoke for concentration, maybe get an inexpensive espresso machine, if it's for relaxation, what relaxes you in a similar way? If it's partially the ritual, what are some relaxing rituals you would like doing? Also, having little tangible goals like smoking only x cigarettes a day the first week really help. If you are trying to quit cold turkey, maybe see if there is a good product like the patch to help. I think trying to quit by sheer willpower is exceedingly hard.
Anyway, I hope you have a nice time at the ocean, and it's nice to hear you are doing private tennis lessons again!
With giving up addictive things, it's usually a good idea to start doing the replacement thing before giving up the addiction so there is already something positive in place. It helps to have things that replace what you are using the addictive substance for. So if you smoke for concentration, maybe get an inexpensive espresso machine, if it's for relaxation, what relaxes you in a similar way? If it's partially the ritual, what are some relaxing rituals you would like doing? Also, having little tangible goals like smoking only x cigarettes a day the first week really help. If you are trying to quit cold turkey, maybe see if there is a good product like the patch to help. I think trying to quit by sheer willpower is exceedingly hard.
Anyway, I hope you have a nice time at the ocean, and it's nice to hear you are doing private tennis lessons again!
- Thanks Marsia. Those are fantastic baby gift suggestions.
- Oh God, I hope so Liza!!
This evening I was in really bad form, just cranky as fuck. My housemate is always here and doesn't really do much in the house and it's starting to grate on me. I also worked from home today so I think I was getting a little stir crazy in the house. Anyway, even though I didn't really feel like it, I forced myself out the door and went for a swim. I feel miles better after it! Nothing in my life has changed but I just feel more balanced and relaxed. So I'm going to go for another one tomorrow evening. Just keep swimming!
Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood, it gives me crazy kind of energy, so I actually did the 50 laps really fast as well. So it was a good workout too. I bubbled away the rest of the stress in the jacuzzi afterwards and then spent a bit of time in the steam room, so I really feel I will sleep well tonight. Yay.
I also got really great news tonight about a friend and we might all be meeting up next week to celebrate. I missed out on the latest gathering cos I just really didn't feel up to it, so I hope this one works out. It might be clashing with the tennis, but only if I win, so we won't worry about that too much yet. One step at a time.
My uncle contacted me today as well to invite me to a BBQ in his house in a couple of weeks. He normally just tells my parents and they let me know but as he contacted me directly, I feel like he really wants me to attend!! Which is nice. He's as cool as a cucumber, so different to the rest of the family. We're all a bit stressy, lol. But yeah, that was nice too.
All that said, I was still crying a bit today, but the swim has helped a lot. A few more rocks emptied from the bag.
- Oh God, I hope so Liza!!
This evening I was in really bad form, just cranky as fuck. My housemate is always here and doesn't really do much in the house and it's starting to grate on me. I also worked from home today so I think I was getting a little stir crazy in the house. Anyway, even though I didn't really feel like it, I forced myself out the door and went for a swim. I feel miles better after it! Nothing in my life has changed but I just feel more balanced and relaxed. So I'm going to go for another one tomorrow evening. Just keep swimming!
Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood, it gives me crazy kind of energy, so I actually did the 50 laps really fast as well. So it was a good workout too. I bubbled away the rest of the stress in the jacuzzi afterwards and then spent a bit of time in the steam room, so I really feel I will sleep well tonight. Yay.
I also got really great news tonight about a friend and we might all be meeting up next week to celebrate. I missed out on the latest gathering cos I just really didn't feel up to it, so I hope this one works out. It might be clashing with the tennis, but only if I win, so we won't worry about that too much yet. One step at a time.
My uncle contacted me today as well to invite me to a BBQ in his house in a couple of weeks. He normally just tells my parents and they let me know but as he contacted me directly, I feel like he really wants me to attend!! Which is nice. He's as cool as a cucumber, so different to the rest of the family. We're all a bit stressy, lol. But yeah, that was nice too.
All that said, I was still crying a bit today, but the swim has helped a lot. A few more rocks emptied from the bag.
Yay for a few more rocks gone! I know what you and Cate mean. I felt like I had flames of anger shooting from my eyes when I thought of my SIL the other day. It's so good to channel that stuff into exercise. So glad it helped!! Nice you get to meet up with good friends and get especially invited to your uncle's. Cheers to "Just keep swimming!"
- Thanks Cate. I woke up at half 1 after having a terrible nightmare where Tom was possessed and was kind of this evil genie person doing magic tricks at my neighbour's house next door and I had to go over there to rescue everyone from him, even though I knew there was a good chance that none of us would make it out alive. LOL!!! I had to sleep with the light on after that. What would Freud say about that dream? Hahaha. I'm a fucking psycho.
- Yep, the swim really did help Marsia, thanks.
So yes, as I was telling Cate earlier, I had a very disturbed sleep for the first part of the night. I slept well after that though and was fresh enough going into work today. One of the girls told me I looked 'lovely'. I had a nice green blouse on, the colour really suits me. I must buy more stuff in this shade. Blues and greens are my colours I think. And black too.
I'm reading a book called Make It Happen: Manifest the Life of Your Dreams by Jordanna Levin at the moment. It's quite interesting. I also got Lucy Foley's new book The Midnight Feast, which I haven't thrown myself into yet, but I like her stuff in general. Really short chapters and easy to read. I was thinking of watching that film The Whale tonight, starring Brendan Fraser. Any story revolving around food disorders I find fascinating. I mean, it's probably about more than that, but I'm sure the food comes into it.
Friday tomorrow. I'm playing tennis after work and Saturday will be busy enough. I want to clean out the car and get it washed and hoovered as I am giving a friend a lift to the baby shower on Sunday. It's a reason to get it done. I discovered a new scratch on it yesterday which I am super-annoyed about, as I don't know when it happened.
It's not massive but still. I also have a tennis game organised and I might try to get a run or swim in too. Oh yeah, and I have to buy the baby present. There's a shop I have never heard of near enough to my house, which I discovered through the magic of Google today. So I will pick up a cute bath toy or something like that. So yeah, that will keep me going for Saturday. And then Sunday I have the shower, I want to try to get a sea swim in, and I have a tennis match in the evening.
Anyway, that's enough chitter chatter, bye!
- Yep, the swim really did help Marsia, thanks.
- Aw, thanks Liza. When they're around, yes. But they're not around enough, that's the problem. And I really hope you get into swimming at some point. I really think you'd love it.
So yes, as I was telling Cate earlier, I had a very disturbed sleep for the first part of the night. I slept well after that though and was fresh enough going into work today. One of the girls told me I looked 'lovely'. I had a nice green blouse on, the colour really suits me. I must buy more stuff in this shade. Blues and greens are my colours I think. And black too.
I'm reading a book called Make It Happen: Manifest the Life of Your Dreams by Jordanna Levin at the moment. It's quite interesting. I also got Lucy Foley's new book The Midnight Feast, which I haven't thrown myself into yet, but I like her stuff in general. Really short chapters and easy to read. I was thinking of watching that film The Whale tonight, starring Brendan Fraser. Any story revolving around food disorders I find fascinating. I mean, it's probably about more than that, but I'm sure the food comes into it.
Friday tomorrow. I'm playing tennis after work and Saturday will be busy enough. I want to clean out the car and get it washed and hoovered as I am giving a friend a lift to the baby shower on Sunday. It's a reason to get it done. I discovered a new scratch on it yesterday which I am super-annoyed about, as I don't know when it happened.
It's not massive but still. I also have a tennis game organised and I might try to get a run or swim in too. Oh yeah, and I have to buy the baby present. There's a shop I have never heard of near enough to my house, which I discovered through the magic of Google today. So I will pick up a cute bath toy or something like that. So yeah, that will keep me going for Saturday. And then Sunday I have the shower, I want to try to get a sea swim in, and I have a tennis match in the evening. Anyway, that's enough chitter chatter, bye!
If you watch The Whale, I'd love to hear what you think of it. I just watched the trailer, and it looks really good. Same with the book on manifesting. I am rather pessimistic, and want to learn to think a lot more positively, and I think the manifesting movement (or whatever you call the people into this) has such good insights about that. That's some dream. I'm glad you were able to make it back to sleep after that one - phew! I wish I could pull off wearing green - glad you can!! I hope you are able to take in all the compliments you get and see what everyone else sees in you. You really deserve that!
- Thanks Cate. I have such a busy day tomorrow but I have to get that job done!!
- Thank you Marsia. The film is brilliant, just so moving. He goes on this food binge at one point and I'm like, 'Yep, I know what that feels like, I understand the emotions and why he is doing this to himself.' It's amazing.
- Haha, yeah, it was a very odd dream Liza. Tom has his faults, but like, I don't worry for my safety around him. He's a very gentle man really.
Guys, I have had the most amazing day!! It's all coming up roses.
Basically, after the big project I was involved in earlier this year, I was a bit disappointed cos nothing seemed to come out of it. Or it did, but indirectly, nothing major. Anyway, at the time, my dad was saying maybe I just needed to wait for the dust to settle. Well baby, the dust has settled and today I got the call. It's to take part in something else and the lady said, 'I just wanted someone who I know can hit the ground running.' What a fantastic compliment! Things are going to be crazy for the next few weeks, but you know, I'm better when I'm busy.
It was so cool actually cos in work before lunch, we were talking about this kind of magical thing that happened to me a couple of years ago, and I think reliving all of that stuff completely raised my vibration. So when I checked my phone at lunchtime, there was this fantastic message on it and I rang the woman back and she told me she wanted me to work on this thing. So exciting!
When I came back after lunch, I received a fantastic email that has such benefit for the family. I can't really go into it but I rang Dad all excited and it was so great. It wasn't a problem but there was a grey area regarding a work benefit we get, and this email made that benefit even better! So I really had such a great day.
Tomorrow is even busier than planned. I'm going to get the bus into town, get breakfast in my fave cafe, then head to work on the project for a few hours. Then home, back in the car to buy the baby present, get the car cleaned, and then I have tennis with William in the evening.
@Marsia - to answer your question, maybe that manifesting book is working wonders!!
LIFE IS EXCITING AGAIN!!! I AM SO RELIEVED AFTER BEING SO SAD FOR SO LONG!!!
- Thank you Marsia. The film is brilliant, just so moving. He goes on this food binge at one point and I'm like, 'Yep, I know what that feels like, I understand the emotions and why he is doing this to himself.' It's amazing.
- Haha, yeah, it was a very odd dream Liza. Tom has his faults, but like, I don't worry for my safety around him. He's a very gentle man really.
Guys, I have had the most amazing day!! It's all coming up roses.
Basically, after the big project I was involved in earlier this year, I was a bit disappointed cos nothing seemed to come out of it. Or it did, but indirectly, nothing major. Anyway, at the time, my dad was saying maybe I just needed to wait for the dust to settle. Well baby, the dust has settled and today I got the call. It's to take part in something else and the lady said, 'I just wanted someone who I know can hit the ground running.' What a fantastic compliment! Things are going to be crazy for the next few weeks, but you know, I'm better when I'm busy.
It was so cool actually cos in work before lunch, we were talking about this kind of magical thing that happened to me a couple of years ago, and I think reliving all of that stuff completely raised my vibration. So when I checked my phone at lunchtime, there was this fantastic message on it and I rang the woman back and she told me she wanted me to work on this thing. So exciting!
When I came back after lunch, I received a fantastic email that has such benefit for the family. I can't really go into it but I rang Dad all excited and it was so great. It wasn't a problem but there was a grey area regarding a work benefit we get, and this email made that benefit even better! So I really had such a great day.
Tomorrow is even busier than planned. I'm going to get the bus into town, get breakfast in my fave cafe, then head to work on the project for a few hours. Then home, back in the car to buy the baby present, get the car cleaned, and then I have tennis with William in the evening.
@Marsia - to answer your question, maybe that manifesting book is working wonders!!
LIFE IS EXCITING AGAIN!!! I AM SO RELIEVED AFTER BEING SO SAD FOR SO LONG!!!
Cate
Long term member
Oh, Em. I'm so excited for you!!
Indeed it is!!!
- Thanks Marsia. I'm really happy to have a new thing to keep me occupied for a couple of weeks, it's great!
- Yeah Cate, she has a bit of a soft spot for me I think. She's an older lady, she can be very cranky but we get on well.
- Aw, thank you so much Liza.
I had a bit of free time in work the other day and I wrote out a fabulous Grub Street Diary as a writing exercise but I didn't send it to my email so it will be lost into the ether forever more. That's okay though. It felt good to write. My life seemed to be exciting enough actually, but I'm just busier again now, so everything seems better.
I got a text from SG tonight, which was interesting. Lol. I think I will meet him again but I am just too busy for the next couple of weeks. He keeps coming back, it's kind of mad. I guess I soften towards him whenever we have a bit of distance. He also said he's not happy where he's living now, which made me a bit sad. I want him to be happy, I really do. Anyway, we'll see what happens next with that. I might reach out to him once this latest thing is done.
I'm actually on fire at the moment, men aremanifesting all over the place. One man I walked past this evening gave me this huge, 'HI!' and smile - he wasn't bad! I must be ovulating. Lol.
I genuinely think it might be the manifesting book. I finished it tonight - I didn't do any of the exercises but there were lots of cool things in there and they get you kind of thinking in a more positive way. She has a chapter on manifesting 'the easy things.' One was getting a parking space. I was mad late earlier and had to park in town, and where I needed to park, there has not been a space there for me in months. Tonight, on the way in, I was like, 'Right, Jordanna, your book is helping me get this bloody parking space.' And, where I always look to park, there was not one, but four beautiful parking spaces waiting for me, only a 2-minute walk from where I needed to be. So the book is igniting stuff in my brain and it's working.
I had a really nice evening tonight, even though I was tired. The busier I am, the less I sleep. Anyway, my friend had a great day today and we were all there to celebrate with her this evening. We're not close anymore but we have known each other for years and I know I could call her up and ask her for help if I needed. I think each time we meet, I realise that.
All that said, the sad feelings have not abated, BUT - a very important thing to note. This time last year, I was doing a very similar project, circumstances were more or less the same, and I kind of got through the project, rather than really basking in it. This time around, I have a lot more pep and I'm going to bask a lot more. I'm compartmentalising but it's working for me at the moment and it means that the good things aren't ruined. Anyway, back to sad. I heard this a few days ago, I just think it captures my mood right now, as it's not obviously sad, but the sad is there. Elton John is superb. I never liked this song when I was younger. I guess I only understand it now.
- Yeah Cate, she has a bit of a soft spot for me I think. She's an older lady, she can be very cranky but we get on well.
- Aw, thank you so much Liza.
I had a bit of free time in work the other day and I wrote out a fabulous Grub Street Diary as a writing exercise but I didn't send it to my email so it will be lost into the ether forever more. That's okay though. It felt good to write. My life seemed to be exciting enough actually, but I'm just busier again now, so everything seems better.
I got a text from SG tonight, which was interesting. Lol. I think I will meet him again but I am just too busy for the next couple of weeks. He keeps coming back, it's kind of mad. I guess I soften towards him whenever we have a bit of distance. He also said he's not happy where he's living now, which made me a bit sad. I want him to be happy, I really do. Anyway, we'll see what happens next with that. I might reach out to him once this latest thing is done.
I'm actually on fire at the moment, men are
manifesting all over the place. One man I walked past this evening gave me this huge, 'HI!' and smile - he wasn't bad! I must be ovulating. Lol.I genuinely think it might be the manifesting book. I finished it tonight - I didn't do any of the exercises but there were lots of cool things in there and they get you kind of thinking in a more positive way. She has a chapter on manifesting 'the easy things.' One was getting a parking space. I was mad late earlier and had to park in town, and where I needed to park, there has not been a space there for me in months. Tonight, on the way in, I was like, 'Right, Jordanna, your book is helping me get this bloody parking space.' And, where I always look to park, there was not one, but four beautiful parking spaces waiting for me, only a 2-minute walk from where I needed to be. So the book is igniting stuff in my brain and it's working.
I had a really nice evening tonight, even though I was tired. The busier I am, the less I sleep. Anyway, my friend had a great day today and we were all there to celebrate with her this evening. We're not close anymore but we have known each other for years and I know I could call her up and ask her for help if I needed. I think each time we meet, I realise that.
All that said, the sad feelings have not abated, BUT - a very important thing to note. This time last year, I was doing a very similar project, circumstances were more or less the same, and I kind of got through the project, rather than really basking in it. This time around, I have a lot more pep and I'm going to bask a lot more. I'm compartmentalising but it's working for me at the moment and it means that the good things aren't ruined. Anyway, back to sad. I heard this a few days ago, I just think it captures my mood right now, as it's not obviously sad, but the sad is there. Elton John is superb. I never liked this song when I was younger. I guess I only understand it now.
Cate
Long term member
I have ordered that book from the library, Em & have also added Elton's song to my playlist. I think you are putting out all the right vibes. I love that SG keeps in touch with you. It doesn't have to be the big romance, but being desired by someone who is free to desire you is flattering xo
So wonderful it's raining men and parking spaces for you! I agree with Cate about SG being interested in a casual relationship with you - it is flattering if not the ideal. So cool you can see how you are enjoying life more than last year. I felt sad about your writing exercise getting lost in the ether. I just laundered a backpack that I thought I had completely emptied, and there was a writing exercise that was on paper that went through the wash, so was in little pieces. It was from last year, so would have been interesting to read, but I didn't have the patience to put the pieces together again, and now I am a little sad about it. I like looking back and seeing how I may have the same issues, but I work on them and deepen my understanding. I see you doing that in spades!! Some theories of psychological growth see growth as a spiral where we keep circling back to similar themes in our lives, but become wiser about them as we revisit them each time. Thanks for writing about your manifesting book and what you get out of it. It makes me really happy to hear about!