alligatorob
Respected Member
Then it doesn't seem to me that your weight is too far out of range, not for your height. I am sure you would feel better losing some, but you are not fat girl!
Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
Oh you are so tall! (or am i short at 5'3?)
I thought i had read that Owen Meany book a looooooonnnnnnggg time ago but when i looked it up, nothing about it seemed all that familiar so if I did read it, it wasn't memorable for me...
Giving up cigarettes wasn't easy--and I wasn't even that heavy a smoker...for me it was more the habit than the nicotine I think...but yeah i had to just say that I could do anything but smoke--could lie in bed all day, eat whatever food, watch tv all day...until I was over the first few days...but it was an ongoing battle at first...
And even after about 16 years without a cigarette the idea of one still seems appealing at times...
Just saying--I do get how hard it is, but you can do it!!
I thought i had read that Owen Meany book a looooooonnnnnnggg time ago but when i looked it up, nothing about it seemed all that familiar so if I did read it, it wasn't memorable for me...
Giving up cigarettes wasn't easy--and I wasn't even that heavy a smoker...for me it was more the habit than the nicotine I think...but yeah i had to just say that I could do anything but smoke--could lie in bed all day, eat whatever food, watch tv all day...until I was over the first few days...but it was an ongoing battle at first...
And even after about 16 years without a cigarette the idea of one still seems appealing at times...
Just saying--I do get how hard it is, but you can do it!!
- Thanks Cate. Yeah, I mean, they're not telling me they love me every second or anything, but they do say it. They show it more really. Plans for the weekend are meeting friends tomorrow afternoon, then meeting other friends in the evening to go to a show, then I have other stuff planned for Sunday for a couple of hours. No tennis, so I really need to try to play again next week.
- Haha, thanks Rob. I'm at an unhealthy weight but it could be worse! I think getting back into the 180s has been really positive - getting rid of the 'worst' of the fat has been a great boost.
- Thanks Liza. That sounds like a good approach but I just have so many places I have to be at the moment, it will be tricky. Christmas might be an opportunity, but then that usually means loads of socialising...
I called out to my parents tonight after work, which is always enjoyable. Mum was in good form. My aunt, who is her older sister and incredibly bossy and opinionated (but means well), called to them yesterday and had Mum doing all these exercises with her. She's on some mad diet and was telling her she should be losing weight and she doesn't need to eat a dinner, vegetables will do! For lunch, she had a wrap with ham and mayonnaise. So the diet doctor she is not.
Anyway, for me, the key to losing weight is eating 3 nutritious meals a day and a few snacks of fruit, nuts or yoghurt if needed. I haven't followed that plan in a long time but I know it is the only way to look in peak condition. Sigh. I just never seem to have the time, energy or inclination anymore. So I'm going to try to get back on the bandwagon this Sunday. No booze tomorrow night, I should sleep well, then get up Sunday morning, go for a short 3k run, shower, breakfast like a king, go to my drama meet-up, then home and cook up a healthy dinner and prep my lunch for Monday. It all sounds like too much already, lol. All I want to do these days is lie in my bed unfortunately.
Had another good day in work, we had a good laugh about stuff, talking about our dream jobs, which was nice. I had a chat with the new guy who smoked years ago - he said he told his friends he was going to give up smoking as his New Year's resolution one year, and they were all like, 'Yeah, sure', eyes rolling, etc. So he did it. I thought that was cool. He also said that sometimes people had made comments about him smoking and he didn't pay any mind to that, it was not for them to worry about. Something about that statement clicked with me. Just because someone says something to you, you don't have to listen to them or let it upset you! I thought that was cool. He's growing on me, haha.
- Haha, thanks Rob. I'm at an unhealthy weight but it could be worse! I think getting back into the 180s has been really positive - getting rid of the 'worst' of the fat has been a great boost.
- Thanks Liza. That sounds like a good approach but I just have so many places I have to be at the moment, it will be tricky. Christmas might be an opportunity, but then that usually means loads of socialising...
I called out to my parents tonight after work, which is always enjoyable. Mum was in good form. My aunt, who is her older sister and incredibly bossy and opinionated (but means well), called to them yesterday and had Mum doing all these exercises with her. She's on some mad diet and was telling her she should be losing weight and she doesn't need to eat a dinner, vegetables will do! For lunch, she had a wrap with ham and mayonnaise. So the diet doctor she is not.
Anyway, for me, the key to losing weight is eating 3 nutritious meals a day and a few snacks of fruit, nuts or yoghurt if needed. I haven't followed that plan in a long time but I know it is the only way to look in peak condition. Sigh. I just never seem to have the time, energy or inclination anymore. So I'm going to try to get back on the bandwagon this Sunday. No booze tomorrow night, I should sleep well, then get up Sunday morning, go for a short 3k run, shower, breakfast like a king, go to my drama meet-up, then home and cook up a healthy dinner and prep my lunch for Monday. It all sounds like too much already, lol. All I want to do these days is lie in my bed unfortunately.
Had another good day in work, we had a good laugh about stuff, talking about our dream jobs, which was nice. I had a chat with the new guy who smoked years ago - he said he told his friends he was going to give up smoking as his New Year's resolution one year, and they were all like, 'Yeah, sure', eyes rolling, etc. So he did it. I thought that was cool. He also said that sometimes people had made comments about him smoking and he didn't pay any mind to that, it was not for them to worry about. Something about that statement clicked with me. Just because someone says something to you, you don't have to listen to them or let it upset you! I thought that was cool. He's growing on me, haha.
Cate
Long term member
My parents were of the generation that didn't say that they loved you so I missed out on that. I knew that they did love me, but it would have been nice to hear it occasionally. I don't need G to tell me he loves me, but I love it when our sons or grandkids tell me they do.
Your weekend plans sound good, Em xo
Your weekend plans sound good, Em xo
Your plan for weight loss sounds great, as does your plan for Sunday!
Glad the new guy at work is growing on you
Em, do you think the darker days are getting to you? You sound like me when I lived where it snowed in the winter. I hybernated a lot until spring because I didn't realize I probably had seasonal affective disorder. I like how the guy at work just let people be judge-y and didn't let them get to him. I want to be more like that, too. Big congrats on the weight loss!!! Hugs, just because!
Last edited:
alligatorob
Respected Member
I think something like the "3 nutritious meals a day" is probably the key for most of us. Wish I could stick to something like that. Sleep is good, but all day in bed ain't!
Absolutely! Sounds like your new colleague is a smart one.
- Thanks Cate. They were good in general.
- Haha, thanks Liza.
- Yeah, I think he has the right attitude Marsia. I don't think it's that, it's more emotional stuff, to be honest. It's been a really traumatic year.
- Thanks Rob. I have too many committments to spend all day in bed - although that's really all I want to do.
This evening, I was feeling a little bit better after feeling ill and very down for the last few days. I went for a swim and it has done me the world of good. Just sitting bubbling away in the jacuzzi for a while was really nice. I was also mid-way through my laps and the fella next to me said to me at one stage, 'How do you keep going?' (I did 50.) That was a nice thing to hear but resonated in my head as, 'Yes, just how do I keep going?' when things are such an emotional mess at the moment...
I've been so unwell emotionally that I have felt sick since Saturday night - the pain in my hip is back, my stomach is completely out of sorts, I've lost my appetite completely... Ugh. I mean, on the plus side, I weighed in at 186.8 today, so you know, that made it half worth it. But I don't really like feeling like this. I had to force myself to eat my lunch today, which is just not like me. I'm just 0.8 pounds away from having lost a stone since January 1st though, so that really is good. And I can notice the difference in my clothes and even in the swim today. I was flying it. That is also because I am very mentally traumatised though and it feels so good for the body to physically get rid of some of that tension.
It's hard to explain what's going on, because really a lot of this stuff is all in my head. Although I went for an audition yesterday and didn't get it, so that hasn't exactly cheered me up either. Ugh. It's just... all a bit hopeless right now. I'm worried about where I'm going with my life. That's part of it I think.
In better news, the work drama has been resolved, so while things might seem like they are getting worse for me, a lot of things have improved in reality. But I'm just feeling very low in myself. At least I got some good exercise in this evening, I don't feel sick anymore (although I'm still not hungry) and I should wake up relatively fresh in the morning.
- Haha, thanks Liza.
- Yeah, I think he has the right attitude Marsia. I don't think it's that, it's more emotional stuff, to be honest. It's been a really traumatic year.
- Thanks Rob. I have too many committments to spend all day in bed - although that's really all I want to do.
This evening, I was feeling a little bit better after feeling ill and very down for the last few days. I went for a swim and it has done me the world of good. Just sitting bubbling away in the jacuzzi for a while was really nice. I was also mid-way through my laps and the fella next to me said to me at one stage, 'How do you keep going?' (I did 50.) That was a nice thing to hear but resonated in my head as, 'Yes, just how do I keep going?' when things are such an emotional mess at the moment...
I've been so unwell emotionally that I have felt sick since Saturday night - the pain in my hip is back, my stomach is completely out of sorts, I've lost my appetite completely... Ugh. I mean, on the plus side, I weighed in at 186.8 today, so you know, that made it half worth it. But I don't really like feeling like this. I had to force myself to eat my lunch today, which is just not like me. I'm just 0.8 pounds away from having lost a stone since January 1st though, so that really is good. And I can notice the difference in my clothes and even in the swim today. I was flying it. That is also because I am very mentally traumatised though and it feels so good for the body to physically get rid of some of that tension.
It's hard to explain what's going on, because really a lot of this stuff is all in my head. Although I went for an audition yesterday and didn't get it, so that hasn't exactly cheered me up either. Ugh. It's just... all a bit hopeless right now. I'm worried about where I'm going with my life. That's part of it I think.
In better news, the work drama has been resolved, so while things might seem like they are getting worse for me, a lot of things have improved in reality. But I'm just feeling very low in myself. At least I got some good exercise in this evening, I don't feel sick anymore (although I'm still not hungry) and I should wake up relatively fresh in the morning.
Cate
Long term member
Good for you getting to the pool & doing 50 laps. I don't know how you do that either. It's great that he noticed. I'm glad the work drama has settled down again, Em. I hope you can get out of the doldrums. It's hard with Winter approaching I know. Stay hopeful if you can that life will get better xoxo
I keep getting these cheesy messages from all different places that tell me to look at how far I've come since last year, and after getting enough of these, I did just think about how much adversity has made me grow this year. I think you may have had something similar happen. Not what we would wish for ourselves, or for anyone else for that matter, but I do see you as so much more grounded and calm, where you take your time to figure out what you want from a situation and go off and see if you can make it happen. How do you do 50 laps anyways? A wise woman once told me "just keep swimming!" 
I always love the sound of your swims along with the jacuzzi afterwards. i never got the hang of swimming but just love the idea of the meditative aspect of laps. I guess very much like a good run.
I am glad to hear you at least aren't feeling sick anymore and I do hope you feel better emotionally soon. Life can be so challenging at times but you do sound like such a strong and resilient person!
Really sorry to hear that and sending you a hug
I am glad to hear you at least aren't feeling sick anymore and I do hope you feel better emotionally soon. Life can be so challenging at times but you do sound like such a strong and resilient person!
alligatorob
Respected Member
I'm impressed!! I did a lot of swimming when I was younger, and would again if I had good place to go, but I don't. Not sure how big your pool is, but 50 laps in any pool is pretty impressive.
Sorry to hear that, it sounds like some of it is getting better, I hope so.
Yes it is!! Good for you.
Hope things keep looking up for you.
- Thanks Cate. It's not that things are so terrible but I am just in such an emotional quandary at the moment, it's taking its toll.
- Haha, touché Marsia!
- Thank you Liza. The swim and jacuzzi really is a lovely reward at the end of the day. I need to do it more.
- Thanks Rob.
Liza, you mentioned earlier that I sound like a strong and resilient person, which is really not how I see myself. But in her rejection email, the woman that I auditioned for earlier in the week told me my audition was 'really strong and truthful.' I really liked that feedback from her. Even though I didn't get the part, she recommended me to another director for something else, so I have a call about that on Sunday. So there could be a shift in fortune on the way.
It's been an emotional rollercoaster of a week. Had a really positive two days of meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday, then a stinker of a call on Thursday where I simply disengaged from the grilling I was getting - it was pretty bad. And undeserved, in my opinion. Jury still out on my next move with the job. But I only have two days next week there and I'm off. We did have a really fun team call today though, so it's going well in that aspect.
I've been crying about Tom the last few days. We're back in each other's orbit for the next 10 days. It's amazing and awful at the same time, it's the only way I can describe it. I mean, I was telling you how sick I've felt since Saturday. My stomach has been off so much. We had a work lunch on Wednesday and I ate more than I have in a while. I had a toilet explosion afterwards, just my body trying to get rid of the food immediately. Still felt ill that evening, and then when he walked into the room, my energy levels soared and all stomach problems were eradicated. Wow, that's powerful, isn't it? He's an amazing, troubled, hilariously funny, gorgeous, lovely man, and I am just besotted.
Anyway, look, I'll just have to go with the flow I guess. I don't know what the future holds but it looks pretty bleak this evening. I've been crying while typing this post, that's how crazy I am right now. I have him to thank for this weight loss though, I was at 185.3 at my last weigh-in, a new low. Just under 13 stone now, which is amazing for me. Not been here since 2020. I met my friend last night and he was complimenting my outfit and a few of the girls in work complimented my hair on yesterday's call, so you know, I've never looked better, never felt worse! Hahaha.
I went to see a film last night and it was about the human experience really, and I am very much in the heart of that right now, and I guess while it's fucking torturous at times, I feel very alive.
Heard this song yesterday, kind of sums it up:
- Haha, touché Marsia!
- Thank you Liza. The swim and jacuzzi really is a lovely reward at the end of the day. I need to do it more.
- Thanks Rob.
Liza, you mentioned earlier that I sound like a strong and resilient person, which is really not how I see myself. But in her rejection email, the woman that I auditioned for earlier in the week told me my audition was 'really strong and truthful.' I really liked that feedback from her. Even though I didn't get the part, she recommended me to another director for something else, so I have a call about that on Sunday. So there could be a shift in fortune on the way.
It's been an emotional rollercoaster of a week. Had a really positive two days of meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday, then a stinker of a call on Thursday where I simply disengaged from the grilling I was getting - it was pretty bad. And undeserved, in my opinion. Jury still out on my next move with the job. But I only have two days next week there and I'm off. We did have a really fun team call today though, so it's going well in that aspect.
I've been crying about Tom the last few days. We're back in each other's orbit for the next 10 days. It's amazing and awful at the same time, it's the only way I can describe it. I mean, I was telling you how sick I've felt since Saturday. My stomach has been off so much. We had a work lunch on Wednesday and I ate more than I have in a while. I had a toilet explosion afterwards, just my body trying to get rid of the food immediately. Still felt ill that evening, and then when he walked into the room, my energy levels soared and all stomach problems were eradicated. Wow, that's powerful, isn't it? He's an amazing, troubled, hilariously funny, gorgeous, lovely man, and I am just besotted.
Anyway, look, I'll just have to go with the flow I guess. I don't know what the future holds but it looks pretty bleak this evening. I've been crying while typing this post, that's how crazy I am right now. I have him to thank for this weight loss though, I was at 185.3 at my last weigh-in, a new low. Just under 13 stone now, which is amazing for me. Not been here since 2020. I met my friend last night and he was complimenting my outfit and a few of the girls in work complimented my hair on yesterday's call, so you know, I've never looked better, never felt worse! Hahaha.
I went to see a film last night and it was about the human experience really, and I am very much in the heart of that right now, and I guess while it's fucking torturous at times, I feel very alive.
Heard this song yesterday, kind of sums it up:
That all sounds so hard with the situation with Tom. Tough when you keep getting thrown together like that.
Sending you hugs
That's great! I hope that shift happens and you get the next part. I can really imagine your audition would be 'strong and truthful' that's how I see you on here too.
I hope your feelings soon match you looking your best! It is nice to have those boosts with the weight loss and getting compliments...but yeah would be great to hearing you feeling good again.
Sending you hugs
alligatorob
Respected Member
Good for you, no matter the reason you are healthier now. And I am sure you feel a bit better because of it, even if other things feel bad. Keep up the weight loss and you will feel better, I am sure. Losing weight doesn't solve all problems, but it makes things better.
Cate said what I wanted to say, but she always puts it much better than I can. I completely understand, too, and that's why I am in the position I am in. It's a "do what I wished I had done, not as I do" type thing. More hugs, and so glad you are losing weight and getting nice compliments though!
- Thanks for the hug Liza.
- I agree Rob, thank you. I do feel miles better being a stone lighter now. Getting dressed in the morning is not sending me into an anxious spiral because things aren't fitting, so that is such an improvement in my quality of life already.
- It is truly an illness Cate. This is the worst I've ever been. I can't seem to switch it off.
- Thanks Marsia. One thing I've noticed about life is that nothing is all bad at the same time. There are always things going right even when other stuff is going wrong.
I went out last night and just drank and drank and drank. I am a husk today, it's really annoying. But I'm not that sick really. I went for pizza afterwards and some random Polish man bought me 3 slices! So I devoured two last night before I passed out and I had the other slice for my breakfast. Appetite still gone though. The only other food I ate today was the end of a chicken roll I couldn't finish yesterday and a cup of tea with a dairy milk bar. Now, to be fair, I didn't move much today, so I didn't really need a huge amount of calories, but still... Had diarrhea again today but with all the alcohol, that's not a surprise I suppose. If it doesn't improve in a couple of weeks, I really do need to see the doctor. Maybe I've developed IBS? God, I hope not.
I got a great compliment last night about a scene I had written for a play a few years back. It was an additional scene we added to a play we'd done previously, and one of the guys last night said that it was his favourite scene of the play. He didn't know I'd written it so it was a genuine compliment. I was delighted. I really must try to write another short one and see how I get on. They have competitions for it here so it's something to look to do maybe over Christmas.
My new housemate moved in last night. He seems lovely, a really nice chap. And he cleaned up all his stuff after making his dinner, which is just as important! Hahaha.
I was in bed most of the day, slept off most of it, and this evening I did an hour of cleaning in my room, which brightened my mood considerably. I even took out the guitar for a while and played a few songs. My voice sounded good enough. despite sounding like Patty and Selma earlier in the day. So that was encouraging. I was half crying singing a few songs, which is not good. I am very emotional at the moment. But I did feel better afterwards. I love music so much.
This is one of the songs I sang, just such a beautiful song:
- I agree Rob, thank you. I do feel miles better being a stone lighter now. Getting dressed in the morning is not sending me into an anxious spiral because things aren't fitting, so that is such an improvement in my quality of life already.
- It is truly an illness Cate. This is the worst I've ever been. I can't seem to switch it off.
- Thanks Marsia. One thing I've noticed about life is that nothing is all bad at the same time. There are always things going right even when other stuff is going wrong.
I went out last night and just drank and drank and drank. I am a husk today, it's really annoying. But I'm not that sick really. I went for pizza afterwards and some random Polish man bought me 3 slices! So I devoured two last night before I passed out and I had the other slice for my breakfast. Appetite still gone though. The only other food I ate today was the end of a chicken roll I couldn't finish yesterday and a cup of tea with a dairy milk bar. Now, to be fair, I didn't move much today, so I didn't really need a huge amount of calories, but still... Had diarrhea again today but with all the alcohol, that's not a surprise I suppose. If it doesn't improve in a couple of weeks, I really do need to see the doctor. Maybe I've developed IBS? God, I hope not.
I got a great compliment last night about a scene I had written for a play a few years back. It was an additional scene we added to a play we'd done previously, and one of the guys last night said that it was his favourite scene of the play. He didn't know I'd written it so it was a genuine compliment. I was delighted. I really must try to write another short one and see how I get on. They have competitions for it here so it's something to look to do maybe over Christmas.
My new housemate moved in last night. He seems lovely, a really nice chap. And he cleaned up all his stuff after making his dinner, which is just as important! Hahaha.
I was in bed most of the day, slept off most of it, and this evening I did an hour of cleaning in my room, which brightened my mood considerably. I even took out the guitar for a while and played a few songs. My voice sounded good enough. despite sounding like Patty and Selma earlier in the day. So that was encouraging. I was half crying singing a few songs, which is not good. I am very emotional at the moment. But I did feel better afterwards. I love music so much.
This is one of the songs I sang, just such a beautiful song:
Last edited:
Cate
Long term member
Oh, Em
Being totally besotted with someone is definitely an illness. I wish I could think of some magical advice to give you to turn off this crush!
Did the other housemate move out recently?
My covid brain is not functioning very well this morning.
That song is lovely xo
Being totally besotted with someone is definitely an illness. I wish I could think of some magical advice to give you to turn off this crush!
Did the other housemate move out recently?
My covid brain is not functioning very well this morning.
That song is lovely xo