I dunno--that seems very sensible to me to want to know where you stand with a person and want some solid ground. You sound to me like you generally have a really good balance of going out and having fun--doing that while staying safe sounds good to me!
Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
Cate
Long term member
Oh, Em. I don't what to say about Tom & men in general & dating. I can feel your turmoil & I do understand it. You'll get through this somehow but maybe it won't be until someone else comes along who is the right one just for you. He's out there. I know he is. Our son, R met C through a dating app & I feel she's the one for him. They have been honest with one another from the start & I think they have a great relationship as well as all of the sparks.
Cate
Long term member
Hi, Em. I just popped in to say I read the book you mentioned & really enjoyed it. I love a philosophical read!
- I definitely feel like I'm at some kind of crossroads Marsia, that's probably why I'm thinking so much about it. I'm very confused.
- Thanks Liza. I don't know, I feel like I've missed so many opportunities, but maybe I was meant to? It's hard to know.
- That's so lovely about R and C. Sounds wonderful. Glad you enjoyed the book Cate.
It's finally Friday. Today took a bit of a nasty turn in work but we got it back on track again by the end. I'm just tired. Tired of it all. My boss feels I'm whinging too much. She could be right.
I stayed at home last night while my parents were away. It was a bit lonely without them but I enjoyed having the big TV and couch and the headspace.
I just finished watching The Fall of the House of Usher this evening, I really enjoyed it. Lots of moral quandaries to mull over afterwards...
I'm very tired and dehydrated at the moment. I just did some rubbing of the skull, because my hair is just not doing what I want it to do - it looks very sick. So I need to get more water and vegetables in to try to restore it some bit.
Not much else to report on. I'm very flat in mood. I am heading to see a show tomorrow though so that should be fun. I listened to an enjoyable interview about it today and and it got me a bit psyched for it, so hopefully it will be really good.
Hi Em, I think it's a good sign contemplating that we all die someday and what do you really want your life to be like with the time you have left? That sounds very positive and thought provoking and potentially energizing to me. I hope you can give yourself the things you are hoping to have from a romantic relationship. You are such a strong, competent person, but you aren't always giving yourself the self care and support you really, really deserve, in my opinion. Hugs, and I hope you can get some good, solid pampering time in!
I hope the show cheers you up...
I like and agree with all what Marsia said above.
Your life to me in the present sounds largely positive in that you seem to have a career you overall like (even if it can be challenging at times!) and with your theatre and tennis and time with friends and family it seems like you have a good balance of some really strong positives. So hopefully you can continue to nurture all the good in your life and leave anything behind that isn't serving you well.
I like and agree with all what Marsia said above.
Your life to me in the present sounds largely positive in that you seem to have a career you overall like (even if it can be challenging at times!) and with your theatre and tennis and time with friends and family it seems like you have a good balance of some really strong positives. So hopefully you can continue to nurture all the good in your life and leave anything behind that isn't serving you well.
- Thanks Cate. I did. x
- Thanks Marsia. You may be right, I may be crazy.
- Aw Liza, what a lovely message to get. That's so sweet of you. I'm okay! Things are improving.
Well, it's been another rainy Monday here. I woke up all cosy in my bed this morning (I was wrapped up in my duvet and two blankets!) and I did not want to get up!! But I went to bed at half nine last night in an effort to try to revive myself and the long sleep definitely helped. I had a lot of chaotic dreams that I can't remember anymore, but getting all that REM sleep in definitely helps relieve a lot of anxiety for me.
Work was fine, I tried not to whinge too much. I did ask the new person to stop coming over to my desk all the time because he keeps interrupting my flow of thought, I just wanted him to send me a message instead, so I could chat to him in my own time. He sent a message once, then came back over to my desk three more times.
So yeah, that's a bit challenging, haha. He's very nice but he's not picking things up as fast as he needs to for the role he's in. Anyway, let's see how it pans out...
I had an amazing moment over the weekend where I got one of the best compliments of my life from someone and it gave me such a confidence boost. I feel like every door I've been knocking on over the last few months has refused to open, and it's been hard, to be honest. It's hard to stay positive when everywhere you turn, people are saying no to you. You can have all the self-belief in the world, but that's not a great feeling. So, this compliment that I got came at the perfect time for me and has really spurred me on. It was quite magical really.
Anyway, that's it for now. Things are looking up. The good night's sleep was amazing, I really felt better in myself today and the outer world reflected those feelings back at me. I have also lost my appetite a bit - it's weird, my parents are the exact same, we've just all kind of gone off food. I mean, don't worry, I am still eating, but I'm kind of thinking, 'What will I eat?' now, instead of 'When can I eat?' So that's a weird transition for me. My weigh-in today was 187.8, so still a long way to go, but I feel a lot better not being 200 pounds anymore.
- Thanks Marsia. You may be right, I may be crazy.
- Aw Liza, what a lovely message to get. That's so sweet of you. I'm okay! Things are improving.
Well, it's been another rainy Monday here. I woke up all cosy in my bed this morning (I was wrapped up in my duvet and two blankets!) and I did not want to get up!! But I went to bed at half nine last night in an effort to try to revive myself and the long sleep definitely helped. I had a lot of chaotic dreams that I can't remember anymore, but getting all that REM sleep in definitely helps relieve a lot of anxiety for me.
Work was fine, I tried not to whinge too much. I did ask the new person to stop coming over to my desk all the time because he keeps interrupting my flow of thought, I just wanted him to send me a message instead, so I could chat to him in my own time. He sent a message once, then came back over to my desk three more times.
So yeah, that's a bit challenging, haha. He's very nice but he's not picking things up as fast as he needs to for the role he's in. Anyway, let's see how it pans out...I had an amazing moment over the weekend where I got one of the best compliments of my life from someone and it gave me such a confidence boost. I feel like every door I've been knocking on over the last few months has refused to open, and it's been hard, to be honest. It's hard to stay positive when everywhere you turn, people are saying no to you. You can have all the self-belief in the world, but that's not a great feeling. So, this compliment that I got came at the perfect time for me and has really spurred me on. It was quite magical really.
Anyway, that's it for now. Things are looking up. The good night's sleep was amazing, I really felt better in myself today and the outer world reflected those feelings back at me. I have also lost my appetite a bit - it's weird, my parents are the exact same, we've just all kind of gone off food. I mean, don't worry, I am still eating, but I'm kind of thinking, 'What will I eat?' now, instead of 'When can I eat?' So that's a weird transition for me. My weigh-in today was 187.8, so still a long way to go, but I feel a lot better not being 200 pounds anymore.
Cate
Long term member
It's raining here too today & I'm in my PJ's still. Whoops. I'm staying up much later with G away & I didn't realise that it was almost 10 am.
Getting a good night's sleep is seriously underrated. It changes my perspective of the world & can make such a difference to my mood.
I have changed my focus too with eating. Instead of "When can I eat?" I am now thinking "How nutritious can I make this meal?"
187.8 is way better than 200. Well done, Em!
That's lovely, Em. Hold onto that & keep it with you at all times.
Getting a good night's sleep is seriously underrated. It changes my perspective of the world & can make such a difference to my mood.
I have changed my focus too with eating. Instead of "When can I eat?" I am now thinking "How nutritious can I make this meal?"
187.8 is way better than 200. Well done, Em!
You are so Not crazy! You are crazy-good and I hope you treat yourself as such, that's all. And someone out there complimenting you agrees, too! I think Cate is right - I hope you keep that compliment close to your heart so you don't forget. So good you are catching up on sleep and doing great with food, too!!
alligatorob
Respected Member
Good for you!! Feeling better is what it's all about. What is your goal? I was 190 this morning so we are pretty close.
That's great! And I am sure it was a well deserved complement. Always helps to have that reinforcement.
Yes! And here's to many more yeses in your life!
- Thanks Cate, I think so too!
- Thanks Marsia. I'll take crazy-good, haha.
- Thanks Liza. Maybe I should, haha.
- Hi Rob. My goal is 140. 160 would be great though. Haha, thanks for the 'yes'.
I was back on the tennis court tonight and I have made up with the lady I had a bit of a falling out with. She made a huge effort to be supportive in her remarks to me tonight and helped me out with something else as well, so peace times have been restored. Thank Christ. I hate falling out with people. So that's one thing I don't have to worry about any more.
Unfortunately, work has turned into a bit of a war zone at the moment, but hopefully the break from it will help everyone and things will be better when I go back. We're under a bit of pressure from the top brass, which is never easy. Lots of meetings next week with the higher ups. I really don't care about all that stuff. Ugh. I just think we're all people at the end of the day doing a job. I really think respect is a two-way street in the office, otherwise the company is toxic and not a good place to work. It's been fine up to now, but I like to think of people more as leaders rather than people who have the authority to browbeat me into submission. That just doesn't work for me and is completely unnecessary to be honest. Anyway, if things don't improve, I will make serious strides to find a new job in December/January. I might do that anyway, could be good.
I can't remember if I mentioned it already but I didn't even get called for an interview for the brilliant job I applied for, so that was a bit of a setback. There's been quite a few of those recently. Didn't get the part in the play, didn't get the brilliant job, and there was something else that I've forgotten now, so obviously it couldn't have been that important. What was it...? Oh yeah, not making the tennis team. Hahaha. Anyway, I hope my fortunes will change. I feel like they are changing. I made progress tonight with restoring friendships and that is very important to me.
I'm still on the 'giving up smoking' train and that is one thing that I could do, without actually doing anything, that would really make me feel like I am finally making progress. Like, it's the easiest possible thing in the world to do in some ways. Just don't buy cigarettes and don't smoke them. You don't even have to make your bed or go to the gym or cook a healthy meal and you're making tons and tons of progress! So that's something I am trying to get into my head. Really cement it in there. How could I make progress tomorrow on a Bank Holiday Monday where I don't really have to do anything and my only plan is an hour of tennis? Quit smoking and that honestly would be making MASSIVE progress. It's the one thing I can do that I know will change my life INSTANTLY for the better. How magic is that?
Let's try it!!
P.S. Just a short note to say I am so sad to hear about Matthew Perry. I relate to the addiction issues and he died so young really, considering he had access to every remedy in the world with all the money he made from Friends. There's something really poignant about that. I also feel like the last year of his life was probably really cathartic and I'd like to think a relatively happy one.
- Thanks Marsia. I'll take crazy-good, haha.
- Thanks Liza. Maybe I should, haha.
- Hi Rob. My goal is 140. 160 would be great though. Haha, thanks for the 'yes'.
I was back on the tennis court tonight and I have made up with the lady I had a bit of a falling out with. She made a huge effort to be supportive in her remarks to me tonight and helped me out with something else as well, so peace times have been restored. Thank Christ. I hate falling out with people. So that's one thing I don't have to worry about any more.
Unfortunately, work has turned into a bit of a war zone at the moment, but hopefully the break from it will help everyone and things will be better when I go back. We're under a bit of pressure from the top brass, which is never easy. Lots of meetings next week with the higher ups. I really don't care about all that stuff. Ugh. I just think we're all people at the end of the day doing a job. I really think respect is a two-way street in the office, otherwise the company is toxic and not a good place to work. It's been fine up to now, but I like to think of people more as leaders rather than people who have the authority to browbeat me into submission. That just doesn't work for me and is completely unnecessary to be honest. Anyway, if things don't improve, I will make serious strides to find a new job in December/January. I might do that anyway, could be good.
I can't remember if I mentioned it already but I didn't even get called for an interview for the brilliant job I applied for, so that was a bit of a setback. There's been quite a few of those recently. Didn't get the part in the play, didn't get the brilliant job, and there was something else that I've forgotten now, so obviously it couldn't have been that important. What was it...? Oh yeah, not making the tennis team. Hahaha. Anyway, I hope my fortunes will change. I feel like they are changing. I made progress tonight with restoring friendships and that is very important to me.
I'm still on the 'giving up smoking' train and that is one thing that I could do, without actually doing anything, that would really make me feel like I am finally making progress. Like, it's the easiest possible thing in the world to do in some ways. Just don't buy cigarettes and don't smoke them. You don't even have to make your bed or go to the gym or cook a healthy meal and you're making tons and tons of progress! So that's something I am trying to get into my head. Really cement it in there. How could I make progress tomorrow on a Bank Holiday Monday where I don't really have to do anything and my only plan is an hour of tennis? Quit smoking and that honestly would be making MASSIVE progress. It's the one thing I can do that I know will change my life INSTANTLY for the better. How magic is that?
Let's try it!!
P.S. Just a short note to say I am so sad to hear about Matthew Perry. I relate to the addiction issues and he died so young really, considering he had access to every remedy in the world with all the money he made from Friends. There's something really poignant about that. I also feel like the last year of his life was probably really cathartic and I'd like to think a relatively happy one.
I hope it goes great with the giving up smoking experiment! Your job sounds like the people are not very professional towards each other, and I agree with Cate about looking around. That's really nice that peace is restored in the tennis group again. Happy holiday tomorrow. Hope it's a relaxing one!
alligatorob
Respected Member
Thanks, that makes sense. For me getting back to the 160s would be great, but not sure it will happen. You may recall I got into the 140s after my big weight loss. I think that was too low for me, I did not feel great... How tall are you?
A good train to be on! But I am sure it is not so simple. You could not buy or smoke cigarettes 95% of the time and still have a problem. I think it's like eating, the hard part is you have to always eat well, a few minutes of bingeing can set you back for... well you know. As Mark Twain said “Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”
Yes, you are on the right track.
That is a great move forward patching things up with that woman at tennis. Peace restored always feels good!
Wishing you good strength for giving up smoking--I always thought that was funny too when I was giving it up, that by not doing something I was accomplishing a lot!
Wishing you good strength for giving up smoking--I always thought that was funny too when I was giving it up, that by not doing something I was accomplishing a lot!
- Yeah, I guess so Cate. Today was better.
- Thanks Marsia.
- I'm 5 foot 8 Rob. And thanks for the 'yes'.
- I really love peace restoring Liza. Will you tell me again how you gave them up? Haha.
I am feeling shattered all week, which is not good. Energy levels are very low. I did a lot of sleeping, which I hate doing in a way, because I feel so weak, but I had a hectic enough weekend, so it makes sense.
I went for lunch with my parents on Monday which was really nice. They were in good enough spirits. My dad called me up that morning to ask would I join them, so I couldn't disappoint him. We got a carvery lunch, which isn't my favourite, but it was actually quite nice. I was too full afterwards though - it's just a huge volume of food.
Not much else to talk about really. There's stuff going on, don't really feel like getting into it. Work was better today, so that was a relief. And tomorrow is Friday, also a relief. But yeah, it was an interesting enough day.
I started reading a new book by Jo Nesbo, a Norwegian crime writer, but it's just really not my thing so far. I'll probably struggle through it but I miss my Agatha! She just knows how to rope you in immediately, even in some of her less brilliant novels. I've also been trying to finish A Prayer for Owen Meany for about two years now - an impossible book to get through! I just don't know where the story is going, is it going anywhere?, is the narrator in love with Owen Meany?, what is happening? And the chapters are so bloody long. Has anyone here read it?
Anyway, tomorrow will be a get through work kind of a day, then it's bed, because Saturday and Sunday are filled with 'stuff' again. Sigh. And the world spins on...
P.S. Oh, I did hear 3 amazing words yesterday...
No, not 'I love you', although that would be nice too...
'You've lost weight.' Delighted!
- Thanks Marsia.
- I'm 5 foot 8 Rob. And thanks for the 'yes'.
- I really love peace restoring Liza. Will you tell me again how you gave them up? Haha.
I am feeling shattered all week, which is not good. Energy levels are very low. I did a lot of sleeping, which I hate doing in a way, because I feel so weak, but I had a hectic enough weekend, so it makes sense.
I went for lunch with my parents on Monday which was really nice. They were in good enough spirits. My dad called me up that morning to ask would I join them, so I couldn't disappoint him. We got a carvery lunch, which isn't my favourite, but it was actually quite nice. I was too full afterwards though - it's just a huge volume of food.
Not much else to talk about really. There's stuff going on, don't really feel like getting into it. Work was better today, so that was a relief. And tomorrow is Friday, also a relief. But yeah, it was an interesting enough day.
I started reading a new book by Jo Nesbo, a Norwegian crime writer, but it's just really not my thing so far. I'll probably struggle through it but I miss my Agatha! She just knows how to rope you in immediately, even in some of her less brilliant novels. I've also been trying to finish A Prayer for Owen Meany for about two years now - an impossible book to get through! I just don't know where the story is going, is it going anywhere?, is the narrator in love with Owen Meany?, what is happening? And the chapters are so bloody long. Has anyone here read it?
Anyway, tomorrow will be a get through work kind of a day, then it's bed, because Saturday and Sunday are filled with 'stuff' again. Sigh. And the world spins on...
P.S. Oh, I did hear 3 amazing words yesterday...
No, not 'I love you', although that would be nice too...
'You've lost weight.'
Delighted!
Cate
Long term member
I really hope more nice things happen for you soon, Em 
I'm currently struggling through an Ian Rankin book. I have always enjoyed his Rebus books, but this one is a different character & is too violent. I have read too much to abandon it now but will be pleased when I finish it.
Do your parents tell you that they love you, Em? I love hearing that from our sons & our grandkids & I say it often.
I'm currently struggling through an Ian Rankin book. I have always enjoyed his Rebus books, but this one is a different character & is too violent. I have read too much to abandon it now but will be pleased when I finish it.Do your parents tell you that they love you, Em? I love hearing that from our sons & our grandkids & I say it often.