Cate's Diary

Cate said:
Each time one of us was awake, then all three were awake.
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Haha, I know the feeling! I think that will be something you get used to over time.

Best of luck with the doctor. I'm delighted that your knee is so much better. I'm not sure I believe in labelling people with this or that disorder - ultimately, I don't think it helps. But that's just my view. The main thing is that you feel better in yourself and don't feel alone in your anxieties and stresses.
 
LaMaria said:
That's great to hear. Exercise may not be a cure-all but for many things it's the best fmdrug we have.
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Walking really does lift my mood & reduce my worrying. I just have to push myself outside, even when I don't feel like it. Arch is good for that. Those big brown eyes get me every time!
Emilyrose said:
Haha, I know the feeling! I think that will be something you get used to over time.
Best of luck with the doctor. I'm delighted that your knee is so much better. I'm not sure I believe in labelling people with this or that disorder - ultimately, I don't think it helps. But that's just my view. The main thing is that you feel better in yourself and don't feel alone in your anxieties and stresses.
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I think we will get used to the van over time but I'm loathe to spend any more money on it, in case we don't, but a privacy screen & a floor for the awning would create some more living space & therefore make it feel less squeazy.
I really got a lot out of seeing this doctor & have a referral for counselling only. She doesn't seem to think that I have bipolar as I have always functioned so well & am very self-aware. I told her a little about my childhood & my reaction to any aggression or raised voices at all, but especially aimed at me. I can't cope with that at all. I have never spoken to a counsellor about that & I felt so emotionally drained afterwards just bringing it up. I have suppressed my memories about it for all of my life. She feels that I may have PTSD & that I need to talk about it with someone. She's right. It scares me to think about opening that can of worms. I need to find ways of coping with it, rather than constantly suppressing my feelings.

G & I did a little detour after going to town & went out to a honey farm & I bought some delicious honey for my hot lemon drinks & we treated ourselves to one of their single-serve ice creams- coffee for me, pistachio for him. Yum.
Lazy day coming up.
 
Cate said:
It scares me to think about opening that can of worms.
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Sounds to me like it is not a very well closed "can of worms", talking with someone about it should help. Hope you can do that!
Cate said:
I think we will get used to the van over time but I'm loathe to spend any more money on it, in case we don't, but a privacy screen & a floor for the awning would create some more living space & therefore make it feel less squeazy.
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Can you just use it as is for a while? Then you would better know what was worth spending money on and what is not.
 
Therapy is exhausting, at least it was for me and judging by how drained you felt talking to the doctor it probably will be for you as well. But it sounds like it could be very helpful in the long run.
 
alligatorob said:
Sounds to me like it is not a very well closed "can of worms", talking with someone about it should help. Hope you can do that!
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The can gets opened every now & then, but usually I put that lid on tight & hammer in a few nails. I have never really talked about it. I think I'm of the generation that thought you should just get on with things & get over them.
alligatorob said:
Can you just use it as is for a while? Then you would better know what was worth spending money on and what is not.
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I'll try. We're going down to R's next weekend & we'll set up with the awning. I think having a privacy screen opposite the sliding door, with a mat would make it much better, but I will wait a little while.
LaMaria said:
Therapy is exhausting, at least it was for me and judging by how drained you felt talking to the doctor it probably will be for you as well. But it sounds like it could be very helpful in the long run.
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Therapy is bloody exhausting. I have been emailed a link to fill out for it & I'll tackle that later today. Even that is daunting.
We have to vote today. There isn't much choice as the 2 major parties are both fairly pathetic. I loathe most of our MP's. They have been buying the election & splashing cash around, just like they did with the last one. Our political donations laws are the worst in the country.
We are then going to the monthly market as a seafood company now goes to it & will have fresh fish as they lost their Chinese market. We can no longer ignore what fish farms are doing to our waterways. They are expanding rapidly, with few environmental protections, supported by this government (their buddies). Tasmania will lose its clean & green image soon unless it becomes better regulated. Off my soapbox for now.....
 
The world is a depressing place at times. But it's also beautiful, full of wonder, and teeming with kind, loving people. Also dogs.
 
Hey Cate, seems like you're enjoying yourself with the van! It's better than being in lockdown lol.

Re: therapy, I loved it, especially during the pandemic. There is a lot of unpleasant emotion that comes up during therapy but I've always felt so much better after, I'm sure you'll enjoy, you just need to find a good therapist that gets you.
 
Hi, Misty. I think we'll get some fun out of the van & I will think of everyone still in lockdown next time we're out & about. I know we're lucky & I worry a lot about the little things that don't matter.
I am quite nervous about therapy, but I know that I need it so will push through. My doc says if I don't connect with the therapist then there are others. It's for free on my health plan.
 
I'm a bit disappointed, LaMa as, after starting the online form I realised that not only is it not free, but it is also not behind the medical centre as I was led to believe, so I stopped completing the form. I may just go back to the woman in town who I saw twice before. At least I wouldn't have to start all over again.
I'm in a bit of a weird mood today. Just out of sorts again.
 
Sorry to hear that :grouphug: Can you send the lady in town a message right now so you won´t be tempted to put it off?
 
LaMaria said:
Sorry to hear that :grouphug: Can you send the lady in town a message right now so you won´t be tempted to put it off?
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Thanks for the hug. I think I’ll need a new referral so will need to see my doctor again & she’s booked out for weeks. I’ll call in at the medical centre next time I’m in our local town.
 
If you have to pay for the visits yourself do you even need a referral? Here you only need one if insurance is paying.
 
You get some back if you have a referral here, LaMa.
I’m dropping G off at golf today & doing a little shopping. I think it will be cut short as it is meant to rain.
 
It is bucketing down now that we are home. I have had a really good day. I enjoy shopping on my own & I alternated between walking Arch & then doing some shopping/looking. I have been a little bit stressed about having few respectable clothes & next weekend we are eating out at 2 very "hot" restaurants that our son works at. He really wants us to go to both & we will be "camping" in the van & I really couldn't work out what I would wear. I don't really dress up. I returned some very ordinary casual clothes that I bought without trying them on & instead bought a smart outfit for about the same price. I also bought a few little things for the van-SS plates & bowls & a phone charger thingy as there are no USB points in it. She is old school. I checked out a privacy screen & a mat for the awning today & I think they would be really good, but we'll decide what we want or need after next weekend.
I feel good after my day out & more positive. I caught up with a golfing friend at the course that G played at & that was nice. I really felt like getting back to golf today. The course is beautiful there & the people are really friendly. I'm going out to my local course on Wednesday & having a bit of a hit. I'll leave Arch at home for a couple of hours inside.
 
Thanks, LaMa & Em. I’m glad I got some new clothes. The weekend is going to be too social. I would rather just be going down to catch up with R. I have decided Arch would be better off in the kennels, rather than having to be left in the van for hours over both lunches.
I haven’t had a good day today, but it’s not worth sharing really.
 
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