Cate's Diary

Me either. I can usually take a deep breath, but then my default is not anger.
 
Sorry to hear about that difficult meeting with your sister-in-law. I understand how upsetting it can be when someone just unleashes at you and you have done nothing wrong. It is tough, no doubt. Confronting her about it might not also give you the response you need either, which is a heartfelt apology. Some people just don't have the capacity.

Anyway, glad you are in recovery mode and had a good day yesterday. x
 
Thanks, Em. I'm feeling much better this morning too. I won't confront her, because I know she was lashing out at whoever was in her way, rather than at the cancer which is attacking her husband. It doesn't make it ok, but challenging her would only have her lashing out at me again. I know she would never apologise. You're right she would never do that.
 
Cate said:
I know she was lashing out at whoever was in her way, rather than at the cancer which is attacking her husband.
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Good that you can see that and consider it. Mistreating others is never right, no mater the reason, but sometimes its more forgivable than others. And always important to remember that its her problem, not yours. Sounds like she needs support right now, even if her behavior makes that hard. I know I can get grumpy when I don't feel good, like I have not a lot lately. I try to understand and restrain it, but am sure not always successfully.

Enjoy your now safe Betsy. Camping without an indoor bath is not too hard, when I get my trailer it will be my first ever indoor camping bathroom. One thing I read about on a trailer forum is using body wipes for baths. Even with the indoor bath it saves water, without it seems like an even better idea. Something like this https://www.amazon.com/Pipa-mint-Bo...0337&sprefix=large+body+wipes,aps,208&sr=8-11 I ordered some and plan to give them a try. Even with the indoor bath in my very small trailer water will be very limited.
 
Thanks, Rob. I will cut her some slack as I know how stressed out she is. It's not a new thing though. G & I talked about it today & he said how uncalled for it was. He actually said that afterwards, she wouldn't even have realised what she had said, but if someone had told her later she would have been really upset at her behaviour. I'm not so sure of that. Even though she had been so horrible to me I still gave her a big hug & asked if there was anything we could do to help. If it happens again I am going to tell her how much it affects me. Most people have no idea as I don't tell them. It drags up childhood memories that I would prefer not to talk about. I feel I shouldn't have to in everyday life, but I will in therapy though.
I'm not bothered about not having an actual shower in our van. We'll camp mostly in camping grounds I think. It's going to the loo (toilet) specifically during the night. I'll get over it. In 10 days time, we'll camp in Betsy. I'm feeling quite optimistic about her now.
I have ordered some crocheted cacti to put on the dashboard. Our son had one & I loved it so much. I ordered some this week & then later in the day I saw that he had been in the store & probably bought me some for my birthday. Whoops. I bought the 3 amigos. You can't have too many. They are so low maintenance. :D Check these out Three C's Crochet
 
They're so cute! I'd really like to see the top/bottom to figure out how they closed them if they're crocheted though.
Cate said:
Even though she had been so horrible to me I still gave her a big hug & asked if there was anything we could do to help.
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Talk about taking the high road - I'd need oxygen up there:eek:
 
I'm up early as G is playing golf & I have 2 ap'ts- 1 with my new doc (hopefully) & 1 with my physio. I have to leave Arch home, unfortunately. G said yes when asked to play golf, forgetting that I had 2 ap'ts & he had said he would come in with me & walk Arch. I'll have to walk him when I get home. I think I need to leave him inside with the door shut as wasps come in with the door left ajar & last week a Currawong came in after his dried food. They are a big bird!
 
alligatorob said:
I like the cacti!
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They arrived today & are adorable. I got the 3 amigos for Betsy & a little sombrero keyring & a 3 pronged cactus with a red flower. They are SO, SO cute!

Well, I have some good news to report. My new doctor is definitely my new doctor. I really liked her & she seems thorough. I was able to talk to her without any tears but was still able to explain how I feel. I didn't go into any depth & told her I would wait until I saw a counsellor. What impressed me was her ability to get through to me that finding an answer/diagnosis would be empowering rather than anything negative. She needs to do me a new mental health plan which is time consuming & I have a long appointment with her Friday of next week. After that is done I will see a psychiatrist & then a psychologist. When I said that I have avoided getting a professional diagnosis as it felt like opening a can of worms she said the thing about becoming empowered. I was really impressed with her manner & her professional approach. I'm so glad I saw her. She made me feel braver about it all.
After that ap't I went to the physio where I confessed I hadn't been following some of her suggestions (step exercises) but had been walking a lot. She seemed happy with my progress. I don't have safe steps with rails at home. I did tell her about Betsy though & how I am in & out & up & down the stairs in her every day & have to hoik myself up to get in & out of the front. She did encourage me to have a few goes at playing golf- just 15 mins & building up, but I told her that I don't feel like risking doing the things I like doing more like walking my dog etc. She still tried some more. I know she's right. I don't like being so scared of hurting myself. She didn't make a new a new appointment for me but said I could ring if I needed one. As I left she said, "I wish everyone was like you". Wow. She's really nice.
I had left Arch at home so did a little shopping, got home, took him for a walk, had a light, small lunch & snoozed for about 1.5 hours. I didn't sleep well last night at all.
 
That sounds like SUCH a productive day! Wonderful that your new doctor clicked with you and your physio is working with you to find ways to help you improve that you´re actually likely to keep doing. I don´t know enough about golf to be useful here but would it help to just take a club and practice swings at home, without a ball? Might take away the mental block of having to be at the club.
 
Thanks, LaMa. It really was a productive day & I feel so much better today, knowing that I have found a new doctor that really did click with me. The physio is so good at her job. You may not know much about golf but you know me well enough to pick that just going out to the club is probably my biggest hurdle. I will have a swing at home with my old clubs & some old balls & see how that goes. Thank you for suggesting that.

I had a really good night's sleep & as I woke I was having such a lovely dream. My late sister was standing with her back to me washing dishes & I was saying to her that she needs to tell me everything & not keep things from me. I went over to her & she turned around & was crying. We had a big hug & I told her that she had always looked after me & protected me & now it was my turn to look after her & that I did not need protecting. It was such a lovely way to wake. I could feel that hug & the love. I am so glad that I got to spend so much time with her in the US in her last 5 years. We had such a strong bond. She died in 2005, but I still feel it. It was special. She would have adored Archie.
 
Had a really lovely day today. I woke feeling really refreshed & energetic. I did housework for a couple of hours & went into town with Arch & walked around the river. I chatted to quite a few people & then left him in the car & did some op shop shopping( & lots more chatting) , library, newsagents....& back home for a late lunch. Read the paper, drank some peppermint tea & then G messaged me as he was about to leave golf, as requested repeatly before but to no avail, & off We went again. I got further than expected as someone waylaid him for a chat. I have exhausted my dog & I’m pleasantly tired.
A good day :)
 
Cate said:
Had a really lovely day today. I woke feeling really refreshed & energetic. I did housework for a couple of hours & went into town with Arch & walked around the river. I chatted to quite a few people & then left him in the car & did some op shop shopping( & lots more chatting) , library, newsagents....& back home for a late lunch. Read the paper, drank some peppermint tea & then G messaged me as he was about to leave golf, as requested repeatly before but to no avail, & off We went again. I got further than expected as someone waylaid him for a chat. I have exhausted my dog & I’m pleasantly tired.
A good day :)
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I am glad that you had such a good day. Hoping tomorrow will be even better :)
 
sad_girl said:
I am glad that you had such a good day. Hoping tomorrow will be even better :)
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Thank you, not so sad girl. That's sweet of you.
It's 9.43 am here in Tasmania, Australia & I feel good again today, but a little bit stiff & sore & a tad tired. I ached during the night & had trouble getting comfortable. Maybe I overdid the walking yesterday. I'll take it a bit easier today. It's time to start rugging up already. I wore a beanie & gloves for my afternoon walk yesterday. The air is very fresh. I have made a conscious decision to embrace Winter with open arms, instead of dwelling on the cold. Mostly our Winter days are sunny after morning frosts. That's not so bad. I do love having distinct seasons & am grateful we don't have freezing winters like many countries. I do need some wet weather gear though for my walks with Arch. He doesn't care how cold or wet it may get. He just looks at me with his big brown eyes & I'm done for. He's so good for me.
 
Cate said:
I have made a conscious decision to embrace Winter with open arms, instead of dwelling on the cold. Mostly our Winter days are sunny after morning frosts. That's not so bad.
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Sounds lovely. Just protect your nose so your asthma doesn't get triggered and winter is wonderful!
 
Our winter days are mostly lovely, LaMa thank goodness. Having Asthma also makes it hard to breathe well covering my nose, which is why I find it difficult to wear a mask. Foggy nights really affect my airways badly. We do get those, but I try to stay indoors if it's foggy.
I had another good day today & tired Arch out again. I'll try to stay awake until bedtime tonight! I have decided we'll go on an outing tomorrow. We need fresh fish & some for the freezer & Arch needs some dry food & Greenies, which a dental treat. He has one every night He needs special dry food & I can't buy that locally. K9 thinks we should keep him on it so I am not going to ignore the advice of my personal vet. We will also get a few more things for the van, like fairy lights ( :D ) & maybe we'll buy some sushi & have it by the beach. I need some new winter PJ's. Mine are a disgrace. :blush5:
I am really looking forward to staying in our van next Wednesday. Instead of feeling so anxious, I'm getting excited. I have been putting little bits and pieces in the van & have a checklist on my phone. The Wiki camps app is excellent. I do love a list. The 3 amigos are on my dashboard & I have a little crocheted sombrero on the keyring. I bought a few things in the op shop that can stay in it, like a spare raincoat, a dressing gown, an umbrella. I actually have an empty cupboard plus another half a cupboard & a space behind the driver's seat which is where I'll put our overnight bag.
 
Hey this winter why not load Betsy on the ferry and head north to Australia for a couple of weeks? You could take Archie and get away to a warmer dryer place. Lots of people here use their RVs to escape winter, when I get mine I think I will. Snowbirds is what they are called, next winter I hope to be one.
Cate said:
I don't have safe steps with rails at home.
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Get some!! When my mother and stepfather stayed with us near the end of their lives I had to put a lot of grab bars and rails in for them. What I found was that having them made me more comfortable, so when we moved to a new place in Utah I put them in everywhere. On the steps, in the bath etc. I use them all the time, even though I tell myself I don't need them. And knowing they will be there when I do need them is a bit of comfort.

Good to see you having fun fitting Betsy out, my trailer is still over a month away, I am getting anxious. No name for her (or him) yet...

Happy Earth Day!
 
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