Cate's Diary

[liza]

Hope the visit with R & K9 goes well. Should be a fun weekend I imagine!
The river walk always sounds lovely--hope you made it out there.

 

[Llama]

You may have felt lazy but it looks like you didn't DO lazy, regardless of the step count. So nice that R and K9 are coming to visit!

 

[Llama]

I have been told that I won't be able to have it again as the last time I had an asthma attack in the middle of the op & they had to intubate me. Nobody told me this until the next time I needed an op

That's so scary! Good thing you didn't need emergency care in a non-affiliated hospital...

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Liza & LaMa. I didn’t go into town but started walking from home & kept on walking until I got to the other end of the road where we live. It’s about a 2.5 km walk up & downhill. I turned around & headed for home, ringing G to ask him to pick me up, which he did.
I had a better day yesterday, LaMa. I had my minimum 5k steps done by midday. Arch got a second walk in later in the day as well so he was happy.
It did upset me when I heard what had happened in the operation LaMa. I should have been told. I had a hysterectomy with a spinal. That was different, I can tell you. I’m dreading the next op.
It’s lovely having R & K9 here, although he is very anxious & that transferred to me. I didn’t get much sleep.
K9 has a large reactionary dog(F) that Arch will not tolerate. It’s the only dog he is like it with. F was attacked by 2 large dogs when she was very young & subsequently she comes out fighting. She would have Arch for breakfast. We have to keep them very separate & not even within sight of one another.
We’re all going to the market today & the K9 is heading for a 2 night stay with F.
Last night she offered to make new curtains for Betsy. I don’t think I will let her. I don’t feel that Betsy is a long-term thing.

 

[Emilyrose]

I think you should let her. Betsy might appreciate curtains - the new owner might appreciate them also if you do decide to sell her.

I hope you have a lovely family day at the market together.

 

[Llama]

Well done on those steps! And I hope the anxiety passes for both of you

 

[liza]

That walk sounds really good Cate. Your knee is all ok with hills now?
Too bad about the 2 dogs not getting on well, and about R feeling anxious--it really can pass between family members easily can't it?
Anyways I hope you enjoy the rest of the visit.

 

[Cate]

I think you should let her. Betsy might appreciate curtains - the new owner might appreciate them also if you do decide to sell her.
I hope you have a lovely family day at the market together.

It doesn't feel right somehow getting her to go to so much trouble.
We didn't go to the market. Instead, we sat around chatter boxing for the day before K9 left about 2.30. Then A, our GS visited to catch up with his uncle & then D, our older son. We had a lovely day & sat outside for most of it. It was such a lovely day.

Well done on those steps! And I hope the anxiety passes for both of you

We're both feeling a lot less anxious thanks, LaMa. I think he's nervous about taking on a mortgage again mostly.

That walk sounds really good Cate. Your knee is all ok with hills now?
Too bad about the 2 dogs not getting on well, and about R feeling anxious--it really can pass between family members easily can't it?
Anyways I hope you enjoy the rest of the visit.

Thanks, Liza. You can tell that the 2 dogs will never get on. Apparently, it can just happen between 2 breeds. I always feed on R's anxiety & am a bit of an emotional sponge. I wish I wasn't.
We're having a really nice time. Yesterday was just lovely & I think we'll go listen to some live music this afternoon & have dinner at a friend's pub afterwards. A thought he might join us, which would be nice. Our older GS is just lovely. We're very lucky to have the family relationships we have.

 

[Llama]

I think he's nervous about taking on a mortgage again mostly.

Understandable. Glad he found some calm though.

A thought he might join us, which would be nice. Our older GS is just lovely. We're very lucky to have the family relationships we have.

You sure are Sounds like you had a lovely day!

 

[Cate]

Thanks, LaMa. We have had a lovely Easter. It was so nice that R came up as it gave us the chance to also see more of our GS. We went to check out the show, which was held in a little laneway. It was fun & we got to catch up with lots of people we know. There was a woman who does a burlesque act which was a surprise for our GS. It was funny. I tease him a lot. He really is lovely. We went to our young friend's pub & had a really nice dinner & then the four of us came back here, the 'boys" played snooker & I drove A home. I had 2 drinks over the whole afternoon/evening. I had a lovely time. This morning we will drive R about 100 km to meet up with K9 who will then take him back down south. They live near one another.

 

[Llama]

Well done on sticking to only 2 drinks!

 

[Cate]

Thanks, LaMa. I much prefer not drinking much anyway, especially when I'm out.
I had a lovely Easter. It was so nice to see our sons & GS & K9. It was stress-free mostly, after the initial worry about R. I'm really glad that K9 feels that we are her Tasmanian family. She told me so yesterday. She misses hers so much.

 

[Emilyrose]

Aw, that's a lovely thing to hear. Glad you had such a nice Easter weekend.

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Em. I really love K9.
G & I both had the feeling over Easter that R may not be taking his meds or may need them adjusted. I messaged him yesterday & asked him to ring me today. His first reaction was "Are you ok, Mum?" which was sweet. I'll have a good talk to him today. He wants me to keep an eye on him & he trusts me & he promised me he would not take himself off them. It may be that he is drinking too much & may be taking too much on work-wise & not looking after himself properly, with sleep, healthy food & exercise. It is probably time he went to his GP & had his levels checked I think. I didn't sleep well at all last night.
It's a beautiful, still Autumn morning here. A bit chilly, but it's going to be a warmish day. I'm not sure what I'll do today. G has gone to golf & won't be home until 4'ish. I might take Arch into town a bit later I think & take him for a big walk around the river. I typed in "& visit the golfing women" but deleted that. I just never feel like it.
I need to get some things worked out with the van. G & I can't work out how the gas stove works. Neither of us likes asking for help really & we feel like we ask enough seemingly dumb questions of our mechanic neighbour. Oh well, it needs to be done. Maybe I will today.
I have an ap't to see a new doctor on the 19th & am building up the courage to talk about my mental health. I think I may just ask for a referral to a counsellor, rather than trying to go into depth with someone who doesn't have much time for each patient. It's time I worked towards a diagnosis & get some help rather than constantly trying to cope on my own. I feel anxious a lot these days.

 

[Llama]

I typed in "& visit the golfing women" but deleted that. I just never feel like it.

That says everything. I hope you're still in contact with your favorites one on one though.

Neither of us likes asking for help really & we feel like we ask enough seemingly dumb questions of our mechanic neighbour. Oh well, it needs to be done. Maybe I will today.

Most people quite like feeling like an expert on things, at least when it's not other guests at a birthday party asking them for the kind of advice they'd normally have to pay for.
I hope your new doctor knows their stuff and gets you that referral. These are anxious times

 

[Cate]

I typed in "& visit the golfing women" but deleted that. I just never feel like it.

Yes, it does say something, LaMa. It says lots actually. I have been quite slack at keeping in touch with them. Next week G is playing golf on a different day & I think I will go out & catch up with them. The dynamics have changed again out there & I don't think I can be bothered playing there again. I'll keep my options open though. I have been too scared to risk doing damage to my knee by actually playing golf. I don't want to risk everything else.

Most people quite like feeling like an expert on things

I know. We all like to feel needed.

I hope your new doctor knows their stuff and gets you that referral. These are anxious times

They are LaMa. I didn't cope well with the phone convo with R & apologised by message later for my weird call. I just woke up this morning not feeling right & shouldn't have called. Luckily he loves me enough & knows that I come from a place of really caring for him. He has been on the up he said & is aware of it & realises he needs to look after himself better. I am so grateful that we share a special understanding of one another.
I pushed myself out the door twice today for walks with Arch, ate well & feel much better than I did this morning.

 

[Llama]

He has been on the up he said & is aware of it & realises he needs to look after himself better.

That's great to hear!

 

[liza]

I'm glad you are going ahead with talking to your doctor about the anxiety Cate. There are lots of treatment options as you know and I think it will be wonderful for you to be able to talk things out with a counsellor. I can see even having the extra support as you continue to support R on his journey will be helpful. It's tough to know what exactly is the right approach when supporting those close to us. I think you do a wonderful job by the sounds of it!

 

[Floater]

Short on words, but I can share something about anxiety. It's usually an easy word used for a complicated issue. Nothing to be ashamed about, although some docs take it lightly, which can add to the shame factor. Psychotherapy and modest use of benzos are what helped me, but there are loads of options. Take care!

 

[Cate]

Thanks, LaMa, Liza & Floater.
I will talk to the new doctor & get a referral to a counsellor. Usually, by the time I got to see one, I would be feeling fine again but anxiety seems to be sticking with me. It's always lurking in the background.