Cate's Diary

[Llama]

Even if you do feel fine again: it always ends up coming back, doesn't it?

 

[Cate]

Even if you do feel fine again: it always ends up coming back, doesn't it?

Always.

 

[Cate]

Another still Autumn morning, with blue skies, after a rainy night. Arch is on my lap, I had a good night’s sleep & I feel relaxed. We’re going away tomorrow for a couple of nights, staying in a 4 unit place at the beach, that I organised. Arch is going into kennels. We’ll be eating out one of the nights & not having him with me will enable me to go into places I can’t normally.
G has his first AZ vax tonight. I wish we had been able to have the Pfizer one & I’m a bit nervous about it, but have had mine already.

 

[liza]

Sounds like a lovely morning and nice to hear you feeling relaxed and planning a nice time at the beach!

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Liza. We had a wonderful weekend near the beach. We managed to avoid the hail & the wild winds. I'm trying to catch up on some paperwork for G so will come back later xo

 

[Emilyrose]

Welcome back Cate. Glad you had a lovely time.

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Em. I didn't set foot on the beach I must admit. It was quite cold anyway & while I just love being near the ocean I'm not a big fan of being on the sand. It's always a bit tiring going away with others, but this weekend went really well. I had booked out a holiday complex & got a really good deal for us all. 4 couples each had a separate self-contained cottage & G & I had the same one we had last time, A & M had the front fancy one & that's where we had our social time. Instead of eating out both nights we had a BBQ the first night & nibblies the next after a BBQ at golf. M & I walked around town on Sunday while the others all played golf. It was nice to have the cabin to go back to within walking distance of town.
I had a real problem with the room in that there were lots of strong chemicals- in the toilet, on the wall, fabric softener on the sheets & towels so I'm not sure if I'll stay there again. It's a shame, but if I have to take all my own stuff, strip the bed etc it's not really worth it.
I asked our neighbour if he could help us work out how to use everything in the campervan & between us we eventually worked it out. It wasn't very straightforward so I didn't feel such a goose. I had another night of thinking I had made a big mistake, but after thinking it all through yesterday I felt much better about it. We just have to do it. I think we'll probably buy a small stove to cook on outside the van as it would be much safer. I don't want to spend money on it making alterations when we may end up selling it anyway. I think we can have some fun with it once we get the hang of being in such a confined space. I really did iron out a few of the issues. I took out the table & filed it under a bench seat & brought the bedding out, so it will be much easier to quickly make up the bed & move around.
It's very overcast here today, but after having had 2 really good night's sleep back home again I feel good. Having our own non-fragranced space to sleep in (Betsy) will be better for us in the future I think. Maybe she will be a step up to something fancier one day.

 

[Llama]

Being able to travel in your own safe bubble seems like a great improvement. Also: sounds like a lovely weekend!

 

[Cate]

I think that a safe bubble will be a good idea. You just can't depend on anything staying the same when you leave home. It was a lovely weekend, but I'm also glad I'm back home again.
I think I am suffering some side effects from my AZ vax, but can't be certain that's the cause as it has been over 2 weeks since I had it. Both arms really ache, I have a slight headache & am really tired. I fell asleep 3 times during the day & evening yesterday.
Having a couple of days away from the forum has me feeling a little bit disengaged. I'll come back later I think.

 

[Llama]

I think I am suffering some side effects from my AZ vax, but can't be certain that's the cause as it has been over 2 weeks since I had it. Both arms really ache, I have a slight headache & am really tired. I fell asleep 3 times during the day & evening yesterday.

There was quite a long list of possible side effects on my consent form but none that would show up so late. Maybe you caught a cold over the weekend?

 

[Cate]

There was quite a long list of possible side effects on my consent form but none that would show up so late. Maybe you caught a cold over the weekend?

I think maybe it’s a reaction to all the fragranced products in our accommodation. I think I’m about to have another nap.

 

[Llama]

That sounds more likely. Hope the nap helped!

 

[Cate]

I didn't have that nap & read most of a book instead as I called in at the library during the day. G was playing golf yesterday & I told him he could take my car. I want to get used to driving the camper & learning to park it etc. It rained in the morning so I decided I wasn't going anywhere. Then it stopped & I changed into presentable clothes & headed off with Arch. We parked down near the river & I took him for a walk, which was shortened when it showered. I drove up the street & parked over the back, left him in the back of the van loose with a drink & some dry food & did some shopping. I'll find a better park next time as my fruit & veg shopping was heavy. It's all trial & error at this stage. I did manage to go into 3 different shops though including an op shop where I bought a polar fleece jacket that can be a dressing gown for the camper. I'm going to need some warm clothes to leave in the van & I think an umbrella & a raincoat. I would have used them yesterday & walked further. I might also put Arch's raincoat in or just pop his bag in whenever we go in the van as I don't have a spare. All of these things I worry over. I always have.
Today we are going into town for the family lunch. We'll take Arch & he will have doggy company.

 

[alligatorob]

Maybe she will be a step up to something fancier one day

Thinking of upgrading already! I like Betsy, you need to use her!

 

[Llama]

All of these things I worry over. I always have.

I think the kind of stuff you really need in the van will sort itself out organically. Not having a lot of room is a good incentive to sort mercilessly.

 

[Cate]

Thinking of upgrading already! I like Betsy, you need to use her!

I know, Rob. I think not having a bathroom in the van has been my biggest concern, but I have just been so anxious about everything lately.
Our mechanic neighbour fixed the gas connections yesterday so it will be much safer. We will be spending the night in the van in 11 days.

I think the kind of stuff you really need in the van will sort itself out organically. Not having a lot of room is a good incentive to sort mercilessly.

True, LaMa. I'm sure each time we stay in the van we will have a better idea about what we need & don't need. It is very compact so I will have to temper my natural instinct to be prepared for anything & everything.

We had our family lunch yesterday & I found it absolutely draining. G's sister, L took out her stress & anger on me I think. Her husband has been given more bad news re his health & it looks fairly grim. I understand how bad she must feel, but I don't think being so rude to me & yelling at me changes anything. I felt so sick & hurt, even though I realise she was just lashing out at whoever was in front of her who she thought she could get away with it. She can be a bully. I felt physically ill yesterday & just feel emotionally exhausted today. I do need to learn better coping skills. When someone yells at me I just want to run away & hide. I feel like I have been struck physically. I grew up with the threat of violence & raised voices bring it all back. Something else for the counsellor...

We are spending the day at home today to recover from yesterday. I also encountered strong fragrance so have been snuffly, itchy & been short of breath. A quiet day of pottering about will help. Archie got tuckered out yesterday too by their puppy. He had fun though I think.

 

[Llama]

I'm so sorry your SIL used you to "deal" with her negative feelings I guess there are more people in the family who could do with counseling, not just you. What did G say?

 

[Cate]

Thanks, LaMa. It wasn't pleasant, that's for sure. Unfortunately, that particular SIL would never consider she has a problem. G didn't say much I'm afraid, either at the time or when I brought it up during the drive home. His default is silence, especially when it comes to any conflict. While I understand that she lashed out & I just happened to be in the firing line, I don't think I deserved to be yelled at. Yelling is her default.
I have had a good day today. I got two walks in with Arch, pottered about in the garden, pottered about in the camper & polished off a Donna Leon book. There is a beautiful sunset & tomorrow looks like being another lovely day. G is going to cook our breakfast in the van apparently as a trial run & we are going to deliver a screen to some young friends who will use it in their restaurant & will take Arch for a walk around the river, come home & do some gardening.

 

[Llama]

If G didn't tell you I will: she was way out of line and you didn't deserve that!

 

[Cate]

Thank you, LaMa. I know I am sensitive & I must annoy her, but I never, tell her what I feel about her bossiness & bullying & maybe some day I should- politely of course. I do avoid conflict whenever I can, but I think that means you can be taken advantage of.