Cate's Diary

LaMa- :blush5: I didn’t. I had an early dinner & was still hungry so got 4 biscuits with cheese & then had one glass of red. I can’t say it was delicious because it wasn’t. Half way through I thought of tipping it out, but didn’t. I’m glad I didn’t enjoy it.
 
Oh well, it is what it is. Let´s hope the bad taste lingers so you won´t be as tempted the next time.
 
Thanks, LaMa & Em. A glass with G to celebrate his homecoming may be on the cards, but he will probably not feel like it after a week away with "the boys". I'm over it. I don't want to set myself up for a fall. If I say I can "allow" myself the occasional glass then it won't feel like such a big deal.

I rubbed the ointment into my knee last night & had another good night's sleep. I think I'll keep buying it just for that reason. Now that I let Archie up on the bed when he wakes in the morning I get to have a sleep-in. I'm not sure what I'll do today, but don't think I'll go anywhere. I may even cook.
 
Thanks, LaMa. I have had a good day. I drove down to the letterbox this morning & took Arch for a walk & walked him again up near the house after lunch. I have been walking between 5-6,000 steps each day, but carefully. At the end of the day my legs ache, but not too badly.
No wine today.
I’m glad that tomorrow is Sunday. Only one more sleep!
 
Oh that's good walking Cate .do you ever do away on your own with the girls ?
I agree with Lama the week flew past . They are getting quicker
 
That's great that you're able to get some walks in on a regular basis Cate--and nice to hear that you are staying careful with it. I'm glad G will be back with you soon--I just love how well you two get on--i find it continually inspiring to think that kind of love can last :)
 
Petal001 said:
Oh that's good walking Cate .do you ever do away on your own with the girls ?
I agree with Lama the week flew past . They are getting quicker
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I never really want to go away with the "girls", Petal I must admit. The week has flown really, even though I spent most of it at home. I read a book a day.
LaMaria said:
Well done on all that walking. Does elevating and cooling your knee in the evening help with recovery?
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I elevate my legs at night but don't cool them. I do wear the knee brace all day though & love taking it off in the evening. It's really uncomfortable. I must buy a different sort when I go to "the big smoke".
Emilyrose said:
Sunday will be here before you know it. The clocks are going back here tonight actually. Another hour in bed. :)
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Sunday is here, Em & he'll be home in about 3 hours :)
liza said:
That's great that you're able to get some walks in on a regular basis Cate--and nice to hear that you are staying careful with it. I'm glad G will be back with you soon--I just love how well you two get on--i find it continually inspiring to think that kind of love can last :)
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I love getting my walks in too, Liza. I don't feel that I'm doing any damage, but know that golf is out for quite a while. I may not play again but won't rule it out. I'm going to change my referral this week I think as I feel I was shunted off by the receptionist & don't want to wait forever.
I know that G & I are very lucky to have what we have. I think our love & our relationship has strengthened over the years, rather than diminished at all.

I like Liza's weekly plan & also LaMa's tick boxes & am going to make another attempt at making my own weekly plan.
I'll think about it today & write out a card.
Thinking maybe my goals/boxes for this week will be-.
No wine on at least 4 days (there will be champagne on Friday as it's our wedding anniversary)
5000 steps
Bi-weekly weigh-in (I am so scared of those scales)
Eating mindfully.
Minimal processed food.
No snacking.
 
Cate said:
(I am so scared of those scales)
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For a while (more than 5 years!) I was terrified of opening Outlook because the paperwork that came with my job stressed me out so much and the fear stuck even after I changed jobs. I genuinely panicked at the thought of it and put if off as much as possible, which isn't great as a grown-up with things to do. It really wasn't until lockdown, when I started having to check for Zoom links regilarly (fun from my inbox!) that I got used to it. Could it be that your fear of the scale is at least in part something old? You are wonderful and valuable no matter what the number on that device says. It's just a tool to help you figure out what works well and what not so well. An imperfect tool as well, as it can't distinguish between what you really want to know (changes in the weight of the fat on your body) and your total weight.
:grouphug:
 
Hope you are having a wonderful day now with G back home . I like your goals going forward they are a bit similar to mine .
 
LaMaria said:
For a while (more than 5 years!) I was terrified of opening Outlook because the paperwork that came with my job stressed me out so much and the fear stuck even after I changed jobs. I genuinely panicked at the thought of it and put if off as much as possible, which isn't great as a grown-up with things to do. It really wasn't until lockdown, when I started having to check for Zoom links regilarly (fun from my inbox!) that I got used to it. Could it be that your fear of the scale is at least in part something old? You are wonderful and valuable no matter what the number on that device says. It's just a tool to help you figure out what works well and what not so well. An imperfect tool as well, as it can't distinguish between what you really want to know (changes in the weight of the fat on your body) and your total weight.
:grouphug:
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Thank you, LaMa. I fear the scales because I know that I have been gradually regaining my weight back & my ability to keep on top of it seems to have diminished over the last couple of years. It is so disheartening. Getting on the scales just proves it. My self-worth does seem tied into what those scales say & I do feel like a failure. There, I've said it.
Petal001 said:
Hope you are having a wonderful day now with G back home . I like your goals going forward they are a bit similar to mine .
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Thanks, Petal. It was nice to have him back.
Emilyrose said:
I did laugh at this. I think a lot of people feel that way.
Ooh, a wedding anniversary, how lovely. How many years will it be Cate?
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It will be 45 years of marriage, but 49 years together, Em. A long, long time.

I didn't sleep well last night. G snores & he shared a room while he was away with a noisy sleeper so he went out like a light last night, snoring his head off :(
I went & slept in another bed, but could hear him from there.
We were going to go out for lunch today, but are both tired & I think we'll wait until Friday on our WA.
R rang yesterday & invited us down to stay at K9's for his birthday in a couple of weeks. He had been thinking that they were breaking up (I don't think I said anything in here about that) & I have loved hearing that he has been spending a lot of time with her. He sounded much better yesterday. I think he'll still come home with us for a while & will be putting a couple of demountable cabins up here. Hopefully, his house will go on the market in the next week & will sell quickly. He needs to move on with his life.
 
45 years is amazing and nearly 50 together. True love exists. Fantastic.

And also not suffering for true love and moving to another bed as needed! :D

Great about R and his girlfriend. Hope this next chapter in his life will bring him stability and peace. How old are your sons?
 
Cate said:
My self-worth does seem tied into what those scales say & I do feel like a failure. There, I've said it.
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I'm sure everyone here can relate yet would agree there's much more interesting things to you than your weight. I was just saying basically the same about myself on another diary so I don't have anything helpful to say I'm afraid :(
 
It's a pity that we all have that mindset Cate but then again that's what has a lot of us on here . I know I'm happier with the weight less than more so I don't really have advice either except let's keep striving .
What are demountable cabins ?
 
Boy can I relate to what you said about your sense of self-worth being tied into your weight and feeling like a failure. These things, though false, have been - in part - a source of discontent, depression, and anxiety for me throughout all of my years. All that being said, knowing that I put in the effort, even if it's just for a walk, helps. The kind words of motivation from people like you, Cate, have also helped tremendously over the course of the last 2 months. I hope that knowing that you are making a difference in other people's lives decreases the sense of feeling like a failure because I assure you that you are not :)

I hope I that my bf and I will make it to 49 years together. We're nearly 4 years in, only 45 to go! hehe Congratulations on your 45 years of marriage together! That is truly wonderful and warms my heart :)
 
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