Cate's Diary

alligatorob said:
Surprised me that the healthy weight for a woman is actually higher, for a given height, than for a man. Not what I had believed.
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Could be due to typical fat distribution. Men tend to have more visceral fat than women of a similar build. Thigh, boob, and butt fat aren't as harmful.
 
Thanks, everyone. :grouphug:
I was too emotional this morning to type anything. I had a rough night's sleep. I had so many anxious messages from R last night. He is overthinking everything & had himself in a state. He doesn't feel safe moving back into his house & wonders if it will feel like home again & he is worried that someone might hurt his dog. I don't think he is thinking rationally.
I didn't feel like going to golf, but I pushed myself out the door & I ended up having a good day. I had the day's second-best score but didn't get a prize because of our "divisions", which are actually grades. I played with T & another T who I like. She hasn't played for about 6 weeks. I'm glad I played. I'm playing again with G & I & T on Saturday as it's a sponsor day & I like to support them & on Saturday as it's our social group & it's at our local club.
I have worn new golf shoes for the last two weeks & they are much better for my feet. I have lots of toe room. I haven't experienced any pain afterwards.
 
Anxiety is such a curse and it can make the most awful nightmares seem like realistic threats.
Glad to hear your new shoes fit well and hurt your toes less.
 
Poor R. I hope he can do some little things to make himself feel safer. We sage our house when we are feeling weird about the people who have been in it. I wish I could send R a sage bundle (and maybe a few deadbolts). I'm glad you could go golf with T and feel better!
 
Sending hugs Cate. That all sounds really hard with R.

I'm glad you got out golfing and had a good day despite the stress--and yes, so great that your shoes seem to be much better for your feet!
 
Thanks, Tru, Marsia, Llama & Liza. I'm so glad I went to golf. I didn't mention how much I laughed yesterday. T & I laugh so much when we play golf. We both have wacky senses of humour. I laughed so much at one stage I had tears. A bird crapped on her as she was playing a shot. We have had an ongoing thing for over a year where we compile a list of the attributes we would require on a dating site. Every now & then we add something new & laugh our heads off. It's just a huge joke as neither of us would be interested in finding a new partner but it often has us in stitches.
I didn't hear from R yesterday & I didn't message him. I slept like a log last night.
I have some ideas for how to help him feel good about his home & I think it would help if we went down there before he moved all of his stuff back in. I'll talk to G about it today.
 
Your adventures with T are so great! I love having friends like that I can just joke around with like that and be completely myself. Mine are in San Francisco, and I miss them, so you are really lucky!! So wonderful you have ideas for R, and I bet he'd love you both go figure stuff out there.
 
Thanks, Marsia. I think just having us come down to see him will help him. I'm not sure when we can. Staying at C's I don't think is a good option as she is meant to be recuperating. I'll message her today to check up on her as R should be at work.
G & I just got home from getting some new tyres for my car. I only needed two, but there goes almost a week's pension. Ouch.
 
Tires are so expensive - well, everything is. Good thing the two of you can pool costs.
I'm sure a visit from Mom&Dad would help R (and you) feel better and I hope you can fit it in soon.
 
Thanks, Llama. Life is expensive, that's for sure. I hope we can fit a visit in soon too. I also wish R would get his van back from the repairers. He'll need it for moving all of his plants.
 
I think R will just appreciate that you are trying to go see him and that he has your support. It's awful how much everything is. I just bought paint for 6 rooms, and it screwed up my careful budgeting. I also just got new back tires, and wow, does the car drive like new again. Is R going to be really far from C now? I hope you are feeling better and that you can relax again.
 
Cate said:
I didn't mention how much I laughed yesterday. T & I laugh so much when we play golf. We both have wacky senses of humour. I laughed so much at one stage I had tears. A bird crapped on her as she was playing a shot. We have had an ongoing thing for over a year where we compile a list of the attributes we would require on a dating site. Every now & then we add something new & laugh our heads off. It's just a huge joke as neither of us would be interested in finding a new partner but it often has us in stitches.
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Just reading that made me laugh--I love when you have a good friend where you can have such great laughs like that...I seem to be missing that from my life lately...

I hope that when R begins his move, things will feel better for him. I know for me anxiety can be way worse in the anticipation of things than in the actual doing of them.
 
Thanks, Llama, Liza, Marsia & Em :grouphug:
I knew by messaging C that I was opening a gate. I felt I had to though as I couldn't not ask how she was going. She is so worried about R & says he is very depressed & anxious. He is scared that his tenants will come back & poison his dog. You would have to be evil to do that. R's home is a 1.5-hour drive from C's. He would still stay with her some nights & if he gets his house set up nicely & keeps it tidy she would stay there sometimes. It is in a great community & he has many friends there & good neighbours. Without the rent, he has money worries but if he sells his block of land he could pay off his mortgage. There are so many things to do & it's so hard when you're depressed.
I'm not usually into spiritual stuff but have been delving into cleansing ceremonies. One of R's friends could probably help with that. I won't mention that to G as he will think it's all a bit woo-woo. I think opening all of the doors & windows & giving the place a good clean, maybe sprinkling some rock salt around first & burning some sage or eucalyptus might be a good start.....
I have sent him a message this morning & he will ring me when he feels up to it.
 
I was not into it when I let a friend sage my apartment at first a long time ago, but it does make it feel fresh and nice and outdoorsy again, so when we moved back into this house, I had K sage the house and she loved doing that, so we grew our own sage bush so she can do that periodically. Scent really helps her feel better, so I don't even think of this like the New Age thing that it is, just as re-marking your territory with a scent that helps things feel fresh and new again. I even bought K organic incense from India to burn in a little smoker, and she loves doing that, too. It makes the house smell flowery, but in a nice, calming way. I really hope R can make his home feel safe again. It's so important to one's mental health. That's too bad he's so far from C's house, but great she'll come stay with him sometimes, too. I hope he sells his land so he can just finally relax and enjoy life. He has really had a lot of adversity the last few years!
 
He has had a rough trot, M. I just got a message from him showing me photos of his van. He has it back. It still needs one indicator light replaced but the wrong part came apparently. He obviously isn't up to talking to me today so I'll leave him be. I am going to find some white sage smudge sticks & have them sent to him. Doing a little ritual cleansing won't hurt.
I just found a native Australian smudge kit that I am partway through ordering & I am waiting to hear back from him as to "where I can send a small parcel".....
Done!
I have had a good day, taking it easy. Not talking to him has probably helped me to not feel so stressed.
 
Just in case: do make sure any cleansing happens several days before you visit. Smoke is still smoke. I agree though that rituals can make us feel better even if we don't believe their traditional explanation.
 
I will make sure of that, Llama. I am so wary of smoke of any kind. He may not do the smoking, but he knows I have good intentions with it. He'll love the intention. So much of what we believe or feel is related to intentions. R knows I have his back.
 
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