Cate's Diary

So glad you can get together with your favorite golfing friends and have an awesome day together! That's so fun that you beat G's group, too. I second what Llama says - you rock!!
 
So great to hear that you had such a lovely golfing day!
 
Llama said:
That's lovely to hear!
Not only is that probably good for your own mind but it's also a super boss move and I love it :applause:
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Thanks, Llama. I felt much better for doing it.
Marsia said:
So glad you can get together with your favorite golfing friends and have an awesome day together! That's so fun that you beat G's group, too. I second what Llama says - you rock!!
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Thanks, M. It was a great day & has cheered me up a lot.
liza3 said:
So great to hear that you had such a lovely golfing day!
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Thanks, Liza. I'm still feeling really good about the day this morning. T was shocked about me being disqualified on Wednesday & the 3 of us talked about it a bit during the round. K thinks they are stuck in the past in a lot of ways & she & I are the same age & we are older than the Js. I said I had been thinking of playing with the vets & got a resounding "Nooooo!" from K.
During our game, I got a message from R to say he might come home again for a couple of nights this week. I hope he doesn't really. He needs to get himself sorted out down there. He has moved into a place that may not be suitable & doesn't know what to do. Coming home won't sort that out. He is only committed month by month so it's not too daunting. C seems to think he can move back & it's her cousin's place.
Anyhow, another lazy quiet day today, which is much needed. I'm tired but feeling content.
 
I'm glad T commiserated with you about the disqualification. That was totally bizarre! Do you think R and C will end up living together any time soon? Glad you have a nice lazy day to yourself. We just had one of those and it was just the thing!
 
Marsia said:
I'm glad T commiserated with you about the disqualification. That was totally bizarre!
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Me too. She thought it was petty.
Marsia said:
Do you think R and C will end up living together any time soon? Glad you have a nice lazy day to yourself. We just had one of those and it was just the thing!
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I don't think so, unfortunately. C has what looks a bit like a display home & a lot of last week's problems stemmed from R's dog chewing some of the legs of her furniture while her family were meant to be minding their two dogs while they were away for the weekend. It is going to cost R a lot to have it all fixed. Then the next day he crashed his van because he was stressed about it. It has been one thing after another. R can't imagine her moving from her house & them buying one together. I wish that it would happen but I can't see it happening unfortunately.
I have had a lovely day today. I read Jane Harper's book "The Dry" again. It's a great book.
I haven't heard from R today &, hopefully he & C are spending some time together without the kids & he can relax & sort out what he is going to do & where he is going to live.
 
Now I'm curious: is there a game advantage to playing with the vets? If the rules are the same I don't really see why you'd need categories for such an individual sport anyway. It's strange how differently we all age though, isn't it? My youngest BIL is 10 years younger than me yet fond of all the quasi-phobias. (Except homophobia, because a gay relative just happened to be the only adult he was close to while growing up who had a healthy long-term romantic relationship. Another reason why representation matters.)

Puppies grow up and when they get enough stimulation they shouldn't wreck things once they're older. Another case of "now is not forever and forever is a load of crap" maybe?
 
There’s no game advantage to playing with the Vets, Llama. It would mean I play on the same day as G as he runs our local comp. They only have one stroke event a month ( where you have to count every stroke & can’t pick up your ball when you have played too many shots to get a Stableford point.)
The women play lots of Stroke events & have unequal divisions that advantage the Js.
The vets welcome guest players but I can join their comp as it’s for over 55s. I would also be able to play their tournaments at other clubs.
I’m thinking about it. I might play on a couple of their days when the women have stroke events & the vets have stablefords.
I think R’s dog would benefit from puppy training Llama as he’s a smart dog. I hope they do move in together one day 🤞
 
That's such a shame about R crashing his van. I really hope he can get it fixed and that it isn't too costly. That would be so good if he gets his puppy training and that they can move in together one day. I don't know if this is true or not, but I picture R as more grounded when he has people around him to calm him. K has some bipolar tendencies, and the psychologist said that people with this have a lot of anxiety. I admit, I can't follow the differences in golf rules, but it's really nice you have all sorts of options for who to play with and that you have both the vets and your wonderful woman golfing friends. Glad you had a nice day with a good book!
 
Gosh I hope things get sorted for R soon. Not having housing would be super stressful and then all the rest of the stuff on top of it.
Is housing hard to come by there? It really is where I am and it's so stressful for so many people.

Anyways glad to hear you had a lovely day and a good read!
 
Thanks, Marsia, Liza & Llama. R had van insurance but they're trying to say that it's a write-off, when there wasn't much damage & he would only get about half what he paid for it & be without a van, which he loved having. Liza- I probably didn't explain it very well as it's very hard to. R has various options including his own small cottage which he has now rented out (he has a mortgage & it was getting to be too much) & has a cabin there as well, but it's quite a distance from his work & C's house. He has recently rented another small cottage cheaply near C's place, but it doesn't sound very comfortable. He'll have to sort it all out. We haven't heard any more.
 
Insurances suck. On one hand they need to because some people do try to abuse the system and it's often impossible to prove who's lying - especially in a cost-effective way - but man does it suck to be genuine and have them treat you like a beggar who doesn't know their place.
 
True, Llama. I spent hours researching insurance with other companies & did an online assessment of our household contents & rang our insurance company, made some adjustments( we were majorly over insured for contents) like upping the excess on the building insurance & got it reduced by about $500. They no longer give a reduction called a silver saver for seniors or any no claim bonuses which sucks. I got a bit teary on the phone. At least she was pleasant & helpful.
I’m glad that’s done!
 
Wow, poor R. I absolutely hate insurance. We were robbed once, and they reimbursed us for what was stolen (just electronics, so not too bad) and the insurance raised our rates until they got back the amount that they had paid out. It's a total racket. I hope you are having a good day!
 
It's nice to hear that R at least has some options for housing. i hope he gets it sorted ok.
Really too bad about the whole van situation.
 
Thanks, Marsia, Liza, Vic & Llama. Insurance is a necessary evil.
I haven't heard from R, which I think is a good thing, but I'm not sure about that. I hope he does get it sorted as life was looking really good for him only a couple of weeks ago.
I think G & I have decided to stay at home next week & travel to golf each day. We're both happier staying at home rather than at someone else's house. I'll call K today & discuss it with her. It would be handy as a backup if we need it.
 
I'm glad you decided to come back home. When you mentioned it a couple of times, it seemed like you weren't looking forward to staying with your friend. That would be hard for me to go to a tournament all day and then have to be social all night, especially for more than one day. I hope R is doing better now.
 
I'm glad we made that decision too, M. I didn't ring my friend today but will tomorrow (or maybe tonight). I don't like talking on the phone any more.
I rang R this morning & he was miserable (also pronounced in my head in French). I wasn't feeling on top of the world but I knew I needed to talk to him. He was at C's house with the curtains drawn & wasn't going anywhere. We had a good talk & I was able to tell him how much more resilient he is these days. I reminded him that he said last week that he would get through this & that a few years ago he would never have said that. I also reminded him that he has options even if his van gets written off. If it does he could use that money & trade his little car in & get one more appropriate for his needs. As it is he pays registration & insurance on 2 vehicles.
I wanted him to know how well he is doing & to give himself credit for how far he has come. I asked him if he was taking O to the off-lead dog park today & he said no. He was taking him to the people he got him from as they had said they would look after him for a few days here & there. I think he had planned on doing some work at the new rental to make it more dog-safe. An hour later he thanked me for the call as I had inspired him to take O to the park.
This afternoon I got a message to say that he didn't think he could have better parents & how he loves us both so much. That made me feel so good! He also went for a drive to his new rental. The love you have for your children, no matter how old they are is intense & it can also be overwhelming. I felt so down this morning after talking to him but I'm so glad that I can lift his spirits. I am not allowed to die!
I won't go back & edit any of that. It's how I'm feeling.
Arch had his bi-monthly grooming & looks & feels like "the boss". He acts like a puppy afterwards.
 
That's so lovely how much R appreciates you! I agree with Llama - we all know why!! It's so good to hear that R is doing better with the accident and everything with your encouragement. It's really empowering being reminded that you have options and that you just can't foresee bad luck, you just have to work around it. I love how you describe Archie. He reminds me of my Lumi - sweet and happy go lucky and then switches to boss mode when necessary!
 
Cate said:
We had a good talk & I was able to tell him how much more resilient he is these days. I reminded him that he said last week that he would get through this & that a few years ago he would never have said that. I also reminded him that he has options even if his van gets written off. If it does he could use that money & trade his little car in & get one more appropriate for his needs. As it is he pays registration & insurance on 2 vehicles.
I wanted him to know how well he is doing & to give himself credit for how far he has come.
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That sounds like such a great way of supporting R!--reminding him of his own resilience and strength and ability to cope...I know I need those reminders sometimes too. It can be easy to forget when we are feeling overwhelmed.
So lovely that he is able to verbalize his appreciation of you too, especially as you were feeling down after the conversation. You really sound like an excellent mom!
 
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