zoila diary

Thanks For Sharing That With Us I Loved It And Congrads Again On The Loss And See You Have Done Great After Seeing Other Testimonials!!
 
Hi guys, I think a spoke a bit to soon about my moods, casue I sure have been is some kind of funk today. Life getting me down a bit. I didnt get time to get on yesterday because had to spend the day flat out looking for something to wear to my cousins wedding on Sunday. Truthfully wishing I didnt say I was going to go now. Because finding nice clothes at my size is mission impossiable. Then my last pair of shoes broke so had to get new ones extreame mission impossiable. Had a hard time geting shoes when I was skinny let alone now (very broad feet, high instep) So I have been looking for couple of weeks without much luck and yesterday was crunch time. Its been a nightmare and I just feel like a huge sack of sand of somthing like it.
Then went to get my hair cut today, went in with the photo of what I wanted, was thinking least I will have nice hair. Well she butchered it. she only glanced at the photo and went oh I know what you want. It looks horriable and I want to cry. I know its so stupid to be stressing these things but if you knew how judgemental my family is you would understand. Plus I push the limits of my back with all the walking I did yesterday, so today is been so sore and I feel down.
I Did the grocery shoping and gave in and had some chocolate which I feel terriable about and felt like throwing in the towel and having takeaway. (not good to let the sugar in when you closed it out) But then I came on here and felt a bit beter. Some how just being on this site gives you strength to keep going. I know I havent had enough sleep and thats most likely why I feel so down also the achy back reminds me of T.O.M which I wouldnt mind since I havent had one since January, but just want to know so I can go oh yeah thats why I feel like crap.
Have a birthday party to go to tomorow and the wedding on Sunday, Dont know how I will survive this weekend, yet I know I will. Sorry guys, this is such a long wingy post, I just needed to get it all out, you know what I mean.
Got to go Kids are fighting again, will post later when I am in a better mood.
 
Hey, girl, sounds like there is a lot going on with your life right now! Everything will turn out ok. I am so glad that you were STRONG and did NOT order takeout! Way to go!!! Those small baby steps at a time, those small successes are things that will make this weight loss happen. As long as you have more of those successes then giving ins, you'll do great!

As for clothes shopping - I can totally understand you. I hate clothes shopping because it depresses me every time I go, because I have to look in the mirrow and see how nothing fits right. Uhr. So, take it easy, it is all normal to have those emotions. But even though these stressful things come up, you are strong enough not to give in and not to feed them with food! I know you can do it!

Glad you're feeling better. Make it a rule - if you feel bad, come to forum for support. I guarantee you, you won't feel like eating takeout after reading and writing here. :)

Get yourself some rest for the back as much as you can, so you can survive the birthday party and wedding this weekend.

All the best!
 
Ok, sorry about my last post. I think I know why I got all crazy. My mum is comming to town this weekend for the wedding. And as much as I love my mum I always get stress and crazy before she comes. I can scrub my house for a week and it will never be good enough. So I wanted to look good at the wedding because of her. I know she will be looking at me thinking about how fat I am. At christmas she was like "oh where did I go wrong to have such big girls, when your cousins are so small" as if it were ruining her life instead of ours. But I have decided I dont care I will let it wash over me this weekend or it will do my head in.
I survived the party, lots of yumy things there and I did not eat one. Though it was tempting. The hostess is a good friend of mine and knew I was on a diet so she didnt make a big deal about me not eating or trying to make me eat cake. She quickly glanced at me and took in what I was thinking and didnt draw attention to me which was great. I hate it when you have to go into explaining to everyone that your on a diet again.
So now all I need to do is to survive tomorow. Not worried about the food as much as I am the family emotional stuff. But it will be over soon. Yah.
 
Hi, Zoila, Awesome job at the party! And what a nice fried you have!!! Most people would not have a clue about dieting and not having a cake. I know what you mean. I hate to explain to people that I'm loosing weight. I feel ashamed and embarrased for some reason.

Family.. Oh joy! Zoila, I can totally understand the feelings you have about your mom... You are such a strong person, you can face her and bunch of other relatives. Think about this - what right do THEY have to judge? They are not you, and they have no idea. Whenever I'm faced with stuff like that, I just keep saying in my mind "What-ever". Some parents say mean things because they think they are trying to "help", but they are only hurting. So, the best you can do for the wedding is lifting yourself above all of these things, just like you were saying, "letting it wash over you". Keep your cool, and you'll do fine! You can do it, and you have a great attitude going into it!
 
Thanks nothingtolose. And you know you are right. I know my mum means no harm and that she loves me she just thinks that saying the things she does will motivate me somehow. Though usaly has the opposit effect. But this time round she was pretty good. Of course it helps that I didnt see her much lol my cousing put us on seperate tables.
Well just got back from the wedding and it wasnt bad. Dont know what all the stressing was about lol. I mean it was tough to start with being so parinoid and my mum just looked me up and down and didnt comment on my out fit. kept waiting cause I had gone to alot of trouble to look nice. And you know what even though I am big I think I looked pretty good today lol. Finalyafter the wedding bit just before the reception she turned to me and told me that I looked good in that outfit. Sounds so stupid but it was a releif to hear it. It was like I was waiting for that all day, after that I quite enjoyed my self.
So I did well with eating at dinner I had salads and ham and light kind of stuff. I had really good intentions for deserts but man when They came out I went off the rails. I have never seen such a selection of my favourite deserts before. So I did not do well at all. I know I am only two weeks in, so disapointing that way but its not everday I go to a wedding and I know I will get right back on track tomorow so I am not beating my self up to much. Hmm so tired now am off to bed will post in everyones diaries tomorow.
Yah this weekend is over lol.
 
Hey Zoila!
Sounds like you've been doing real well!!! Congrates!! I know dealing with family can really be difficult...you're not alone I'm afraid!!;) Going to wedding and stuff like that is always hard, it's not like you can control much, so good on ya with the lite foods, and well let's be honest we can't deprive ourselves of everything all of the time. So some treats aren't really that bad, if you can say "no" the next day!:D Keep up the great work there Darlin!!!
 
You did awesome stayin away from the bad stuff at the party !! I probably woulda caved a titch, so congrats to you:)

Hope the wedding goes well, and I realllllly hope you find cute shoes- I'm with ya there- my feet are the skinniest part of my body, but they are very wide, so I may as well wear shoeboxes instead, lol.

Don't let your mom get to ya, she might not realize shes being hurtful, which is crappy, but try to have fun with her anyway:)
 
Hi, Zoila,

Sounds like you survived the weekend with flying colors! Great job on food at the wedding. Don't worry about deserts. You're right, you're not every day at the wedding, so Its ok to indulge. But, the next day just get back on track and don't allow yourself any "extras".

I'm happy that seeing your mom was not as stressful, and am happy for the compliment you got. Its really nice to hear that, I'm sure.

Hope today went well!
 
Hi there, I stayed the same this week as I figured I would. Seeing I had my slip at the wedding, pluss I missed a few meals during the week and wasnt very good with my water so I thought I might of stayed the same so I wasnt too surprised. What was annoying though my friend who is also doing this diet was eating chocolate and chips during the week and still lost 3kg I dont really get that she loses weight so fast its a little frustrating when you see it like that but oh well. I have to except that she obiously has a faster metablism she also doesnt have a thyroid problem speaking of wich it is time to get my levels tested again. Oh well its a new week and I shall do beter.
 
Hi, Zoila,

yes, we all have different metabolisms, and also i noticed that sometimes body is holding on to weight, but then releases it all like in one day. So, don't worry about the scales, just stick to your diet!

Yes, thiroid may slow down weight loss so you have to be patient, but I know you'll loose it! Checking on it with doctor is a good idea.

Be strong, stick with your diet and drink plenty of water and you'll loose this week!
 
Hey Zoila!!
You know we all have at least one of those mates who will loss and loss and loss while eating whatever, while we strictly watch every bite. Don't let it get to you though, because let's be honest, none of us are in compitition with each other, especially our closest friends. I tend to feel that as long as I don't gain, even just stay the same after a not so great week, it's all good! :) I reckon getting your levels tested would be a good idea too!! Keep going strong girlfriend!!!
 
Hi, Zoila, you have not been here for a while and it is making me worried. I hope you are ok and sticking to your plan. You can do it!
 
Sorry Nothingtolose didnt mean to worry you but have been having computer problems. Well more like keyboard problems. So stupid really was in the strangest mood the other day, couldnt shake this bad yuky feeling and started obessing over how dirty my keyboard was lol. So silly, got so carried away with cleaning the stupid keyboard that I ended up popping all the keys off it and cleaning it out for over an hour. So strange but when I finished I felt better, mood had gone but I stuffed my keyboard up lol. My space bar no longer works and I lost a letter. My kitten came in and started playing with. Oh so silly so I new one is nice and clean right, Think it must be TOM, only not geting any of the physical side effects just the emotional ones lol.
Anyway Have found it a bit harder this week cause of my slip up earlier but have got my self back on track now. Not been very good with the water later which I am really feeling cause I feel dehydrated so my goal for the weekend is to get at least my 2lts in each day. At least I have no distractions this weekend so should be able to stay focused. Decided I am going to go buy that bigest loser dvd, sounds interesting so I will give it ago. Hope everyone else has good weekend.
 
Hi, Zoila, sounds good! You know, sometimes we have to do what we have to do to get us out of those weird feelings! :) I'm glad you're staying on track! I hope you had a good weekend!
 
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