Whisper's Diary

So sorry you are having such a hard time with the darn heat, the rats, and the decluttering. I hope you can do little things for yourself at least a few times a week, like maybe a relative could drive you and help you get out of the house sometimes, or you could maybe have your electric piano in a place where it's out in the open and you can make sure the rats aren't getting it. I don't understand why you feel you "aren't allowed" to do things either. One thing I have been wondering is if you can work very part time just to get out of the house and have another relative take over more? I was part of an online group of caregivers who took care of dementia patient relatives, and just having other caregivers to talk with and commiserate with helped so, so much! I think you're doing amazing with the weight loss with all you have on your plate! So wonderful you are taking care of yourself. I remember how hard caregiving was, and hope you can find some time to do things you love. Hugs!
 
Decluttering will eventually feel better, Tom. Not having the trophies does not take away from the fact that you won them. You have those memories & they are something to be proud of. Why are you not "allowed" to do the basic stuff? Do you mean your father does not "allow" you to play it? One day you will have the time to do the things that you want to do. It's great to see that your weight is dropping & that you are providing & getting support in the weigh every day thread. Life is better when we feel supported.

No, it's not my dad or anyone for that matter. My sister and I was talking about it. She doesn't know or read what I post. Yesterday, she said, 'every time we try and make a change for something positive in our lives, it seems like everything comes along to try and stop it'. Bingo! That is how I feel. It's like I was born inside a box and only allowed to stay in that box. My problem, is I don't like the box and am continually fighting to get out lol.
 
So sorry you are having such a hard time with the darn heat, the rats, and the decluttering. I hope you can do little things for yourself at least a few times a week, like maybe a relative could drive you and help you get out of the house sometimes, or you could maybe have your electric piano in a place where it's out in the open and you can make sure the rats aren't getting it. I don't understand why you feel you "aren't allowed" to do things either. One thing I have been wondering is if you can work very part time just to get out of the house and have another relative take over more? I was part of an online group of caregivers who took care of dementia patient relatives, and just having other caregivers to talk with and commiserate with helped so, so much! I think you're doing amazing with the weight loss with all you have on your plate! So wonderful you are taking care of yourself. I remember how hard caregiving was, and hope you can find some time to do things you love. Hugs!

As far as "Aren't Allowed", please see the reply I did to Cate. Temperature-wise, I know it will eventually be cooler lol. I cheated and looked at the weather forecast, and not this week, but the next week shows much cooler, even down into the 80's. Woohoo. Heat does help to sweat and that helps water retention, but still. It really drags the life out of me at some point. As far as the piano, there really isn't any room. Even though this isn't my house, I'm de-cluttering as much as I can (with my sister's permission). It feels a lot better, but it still has a way to go. For my goal, it is to go through and get rid of a box or two each trash day. I have about 10 boxes left. I don't want to overwhelm the trash people and I was somewhat hesitant to hold onto things, but after the trophies yesterday, I am ready to get rid of it all if that is what it takes. Thank you for the support! I don't feel like I am giving back a whole lot of support in return though. Sorry.
 
it seems like everything comes along to try and stop it'. Bingo! That is how I feel. It's like I was born inside a box and only allowed to stay in that box. My problem, is I don't like the box and am continually fighting to get out lol.
That's sad. I really hope life gets better for you & your sister. You deserve a good life :grouphug:
"Woohoo, -3.3 lbs for the week"
:party: This is well-deserved, Tom!
 
Hi! Please don't worry about reciprocating. I have been in your shoes, and know how busy and tired you are. Plus you taking care of yourself is motivation for me to take care of me, too! It really does help having good company doing this!! It sounds like you and your sister have had a hard life, and I completely agree with Cate, that I hope it turns around soon for both of you! You're a lovely person, and I hope things turn around for you soon!!! Big congratulations on the weight loss, too!!
 
***** RANT MODE ON *****

Sorry.....RANT

I was up 1.6 this morning. Is it the end of the world? No. Did I overeat or do something to make it so? Heck no, not that I am aware of anyway or intentional.

Diet - I vary my calories and have been for the past 2 weeks. My daily average is actually less than the previous 2 weeks so far this week.

Water - It was not nearly as hot yesterday so therefore I did not sweat nearly as much, BUT I only drank 1/2 of the water too, like 56 oz instead of 96. And because I was eating a diet low in sodium yesterday I was in the restroom all night. I had to go 4-5 times last night so it didn't feel like I was retaining water at all.

Scale - we move our scale every day, so it isn't like it stays in the same position. And my nephew and sister are weighing also, so it's not likely it is the scale at all. I weighed 8 times this morning and every time it said 254.7. (a gain of 1.6 pounds).

Constipation (TMI) - I am some. Even though I go every day, things aren't moving along as smoothly or easily. BUT, due to my previous scientific experiments, we all know poop weighs nothing! I weighed this morning before and it was 254.7. I went and did more than expected and I still weighed 254.7. So how can constipation make me weigh more, yet going to the bathroom is the same. Makes no sense to me.

So here's the scenario. I hate dieting. It isn't easy for me. It's a struggle, like I'm sure with every single other person. in the entire universe I've been at 253.1 for a few days now, but the last two weeks I've done really well. Weight is coming down. I'm really getting excited to get back into my 240s. With only 3.1 lbs to go, and at the rate I've done the last two weeks, I felt like being down by Sep 1 was really doable. I was ecstatic at the prospect. So I ate really good yesterday, low sodium diet. I didn't need to drink as much, so I didn't. I was going to the restroom really well all day and 4 or 5 times last night, so I didn't feel like I was retaining water. I've been constipated this week, but I feel it is something with my diet. Maybe, it is too low in fat content. I've been drinking a lot of water, but I've sweated a lot too (for the past two months, so nothing abnormal). My fiber intake isn't any worse than it has been. I did really well on calories yesterday. I wanted to cheat and cheat and cheat, but I didn't. I stayed the course. Today is Friday. It was going to be a good day. I was going to break the 253.1 barrier. The scale has been trending toward 251 and I really thought I'd see something like 251.5! And then bingo up 1.6 Lbs. So can I make the Sep 1st goal? Maybe. It is over the top disappointing and makes no sense.

It just underscores the thinking - 1) I can't make weightloss goals. 2) No matter how hard I try, I'm still going to fail. 3) I can't have what I want in life. We (whoever the we are) won't let you. 4) Try and be different. (we won't let you). 4) Don't look forward to anything.

There is only one thing that remotely keeps my sanity in this case. It's the week 3 effect. Now, I've lost weight the previous 4 weeks. However, the first 2 weeks, I really wasn't trying to cut calories, diet or anything. I was just walking. And I lost < 1lb each week. But, the past two weeks, I've tried really hard. I changed calorie consumption and the foods I was eating, cut back on cokes, sugar, high fat, etc. So technically, this is the third week. And usually, from past history, in the third week I will have a rebound effect where I gain weight or stay the same.

Still.....

So what am I going to do? Am I going to give in and say the heck with it. It's Friday and I will bloody well do what I want to? Nah, I'm going to stay the course. I want out of this box. I've been in this game before. It makes no sense to me though. I hate the game.

***** RANT MODE OFF *****
 
***** RANT MODE ON *****

Sorry.....RANT

I was up 1.6 this morning. Is it the end of the world? No. Did I overeat or do something to make it so? Heck no, not that I am aware of anyway or intentional.

Diet - I vary my calories and have been for the past 2 weeks. My daily average is actually less than the previous 2 weeks so far this week.

Water - It was not nearly as hot yesterday so therefore I did not sweat nearly as much, BUT I only drank 1/2 of the water too, like 56 oz instead of 96. And because I was eating a diet low in sodium yesterday I was in the restroom all night. I had to go 4-5 times last night so it didn't feel like I was retaining water at all.

Scale - we move our scale every day, so it isn't like it stays in the same position. And my nephew and sister are weighing also, so it's not likely it is the scale at all. I weighed 8 times this morning and every time it said 254.7. (a gain of 1.6 pounds).

Constipation (TMI) - I am some. Even though I go every day, things aren't moving along as smoothly or easily. BUT, due to my previous scientific experiments, we all know poop weighs nothing! I weighed this morning before and it was 254.7. I went and did more than expected and I still weighed 254.7. So how can constipation make me weigh more, yet going to the bathroom is the same. Makes no sense to me.

So here's the scenario. I hate dieting. It isn't easy for me. It's a struggle, like I'm sure with every single other person. in the entire universe I've been at 253.1 for a few days now, but the last two weeks I've done really well. Weight is coming down. I'm really getting excited to get back into my 240s. With only 3.1 lbs to go, and at the rate I've done the last two weeks, I felt like being down by Sep 1 was really doable. I was ecstatic at the prospect. So I ate really good yesterday, low sodium diet. I didn't need to drink as much, so I didn't. I was going to the restroom really well all day and 4 or 5 times last night, so I didn't feel like I was retaining water. I've been constipated this week, but I feel it is something with my diet. Maybe, it is too low in fat content. I've been drinking a lot of water, but I've sweated a lot too (for the past two months, so nothing abnormal). My fiber intake isn't any worse than it has been. I did really well on calories yesterday. I wanted to cheat and cheat and cheat, but I didn't. I stayed the course. Today is Friday. It was going to be a good day. I was going to break the 253.1 barrier. The scale has been trending toward 251 and I really thought I'd see something like 251.5! And then bingo up 1.6 Lbs. So can I make the Sep 1st goal? Maybe. It is over the top disappointing and makes no sense.

It just underscores the thinking - 1) I can't make weightloss goals. 2) No matter how hard I try, I'm still going to fail. 3) I can't have what I want in life. We (whoever the we are) won't let you. 4) Try and be different. (we won't let you). 4) Don't look forward to anything.

There is only one thing that remotely keeps my sanity in this case. It's the week 3 effect. Now, I've lost weight the previous 4 weeks. However, the first 2 weeks, I really wasn't trying to cut calories, diet or anything. I was just walking. And I lost < 1lb each week. But, the past two weeks, I've tried really hard. I changed calorie consumption and the foods I was eating, cut back on cokes, sugar, high fat, etc. So technically, this is the third week. And usually, from past history, in the third week I will have a rebound effect where I gain weight or stay the same.

Still.....

So what am I going to do? Am I going to give in and say the heck with it. It's Friday and I will bloody well do what I want to? Nah, I'm going to stay the course. I want out of this box. I've been in this game before. It makes no sense to me though. I hate the game.

***** RANT MODE OFF *****
It's good to rant sometimes!.....I can see where you're coming from.
You're putting in the effort, and in difficult circumstances. You deserve a pat on the back.
Ok you've gained a little, but stick with it, you will get to the 240s. Sep 1st is not out of the question...
 
Transitioning......

I'm getting my mind off of the "diet" mindset. It's too frustrating. Instead, I have some new goals and experiments in line for the next 30 days.

Water - During the summer, it is easy to drink a ton of water and not retain. This summer was so hot that I was barely going to the restroom, even though I was averaging 90+ Ozs a day. I was sweating constantly. Now, that it is cooler, I'm going normally, the color is good, but I also tend to retain water in my thighs and calves. So I'm going to stick with 64 oz a day and try and keep it consistent. I may gain some water at first, but we'll see how it works. With it getting cooler weather, my sweating possibilities are more limited. Naturally, if I need to, I will drink more.

Tension - I have so much neck and shoulder tension, it isn't even funny. That's where a lot of my head pressure comes into play. I do have a chair yoga routine for stretching the upper body. I started it a couple of weeks ago. I'm going to do it more consistent, at least 3 times a week. I'm also going to look for a lower body stretch routine, since I tend to hang onto the water. And I was watching an overall progressive muscle relaxation routine. I can do that when I go to bed. My sleeping and acid reflux have been horrible.

Walking - Walking will continue to be my main cardio go to. I will have to improvise as the weather / season changes. I have been walking outside regularly - 2 to 3 times a day. But like today, it is pouring rain (yay!!!! finally after two months of no rain). I have some indoor walking videos that I like, so I will do them instead. I normally do them in the winter time anyway.

Strength Building - I haven't done a thing in this category. I know as you get older, that you lose muscle. I can tell. I need to build some muscle. I'll see what is available and take it easy. I need to find what works with my potential hernia (which is massively better) so as to not injure myself. I'm excited about this part. A long time ago, I was doing an exercise routine and going to the forums and so forth. We took pictures every 90 days. And while some people "only" lost 3 or 4 pounds in 90 days, it was incredible how much leaner they were. In some cases, it looked like they lost half a person even though the weight loss was minimal.

Sitting - I sit way to much and that puts pressure on the backs of my thighs and hence the water retention. I do have a 30 minute timer where I get up every 30 minutes and do stuff. I've been de cluttering the house, checking on my dad, going for walks, and cleaning in general and made a lot of progress on the house, which helps my mental health.

Posture - I have always had poor posture and have a hump. I'm going to see about incorporating exercise to alleviate this problem. I've tried before, but wasn't consistent. At first, stretching that area, makes my head feel worse. I need to break through that part. I'm at that part again now.

So at this point of the game, I want to work on looking better and feeling better (again, I know. It's a merry-go-round that may never stop, but I can always jump off. :)
 
New Goals....

Over the past 6 weeks, I'm averaging losing 1.13 pounds a week. Should be more but whatever. I normally don't make any kind of long range goals because my weight just goes up and down. That's just the way it is. But saying that....my new goal is to be at or below 235 by Christmas 12/25 which is on a Sunday and I weigh on a Sunday. The 1st of the year is the next Sunday. That will work too.

That will be losing 1.0 pound a week on the average. Nothing crazy at all. 235 would be good because 1) I haven't been there in forever. I can't remember that the last time I was at that weight, but it has been years upon years. 2) The BMI chart I go by, lists 3 stages of obesity. I started in stage 3. I'm currently in stage 2. 235 would put me into stage 1 (moderately obese.) Sounds really weird saying that lol.

I was looking into weight watchers. I lost on that program before. I liked doing the points system. And now if you drink a certain amount of water, you earn a point. As well as doing exercise and so forth. I like that. I like challenges. I'm a goal oriented person, but alas can't afford it at the moment. Now, I could make a own goals?!? But it's like me hiding easter eggs and the going to find them. I already know where they are. It's not the same motivation if someone else makes the goal. Anyway....

The next couple of weeks are going to be challenging. 1) Ragweed season has started, ugh. 2) Limbs again. My cousin chopped up a huge tree in the back. The only issue is the city is replacing telephone lines and marked and flagged our front yard where I put the limbs. I called the city today. I may have to wait until next month to put limbs out. 3) the lawn mower broke. My sister should pick up a part today. I'm proud of myself because I know nothing about lawn mowers, but I am fixing it. So I could be getting a lot of yard work in or partial depending on how everything works out.

It is much cooler! Middle to High 80s instead of 100+. And instead of 2 months of no rain, we have rain chances for the next 10 days!

It's pretty humid, so I'm still getting in my sweating. I worked out in the yard yesterday for 30 minutes and soaked my clothes. My tshirt was still wet this morning.

Also, I have been drinking lemon water all week, except for yesterday. I was up this morning for no reason really. The lemon water does seem to help with the water retention at least a little.
 
Well it's just because I weigh so much. The further I get down though I'll feel better. I haven't been in my 230's in a long time, so that in itself will feel really great.
goals are good imo, good luck tom. i'm in my 230's now as u can see and it doesn't feel bad at all, i feel much better than when i was heavier.

Thursday September 1st : 235.6 (+0.6)

No excuses, I ate too much yesterday. I ****** up! I'm + for the previous week. Last week of August wasn't good for me. Goodbye August.
New month, new start, September will be good diet wise. I need to lose roughly 9lb per calender month, a fraction over 2lb per week.
 
goals are good imo, good luck tom. i'm in my 230's now as u can see and it doesn't feel bad at all, i feel much better than when i was heavier.

Thursday September 1st : 235.6 (+0.6)

No excuses, I ate too much yesterday. I ****** up! I'm + for the previous week. Last week of August wasn't good for me. Goodbye August.
New month, new start, September will be good diet wise. I need to lose roughly 9lb per calender month, a fraction over 2lb per week.

I wish I could lose 2 lbs a week, but it never happens even with a lot of exercise, so I take what I can get. In the past, it average only about 1/2 pound a week. I'll see what I can do to at least averaging a pound. Best wishes! Here's to a great September, weight-wise anyway.
 
I wish I could lose 2 lbs a week, but it never happens even with a lot of exercise, so I take what I can get. In the past, it average only about 1/2 pound a week. I'll see what I can do to at least averaging a pound. Best wishes! Here's to a great September, weight-wise anyway.
part of my previous post was supposed to be made in the weigh yourself everyday thread lol! i got mixed up as to what thread i was in :D

yeh 2lbs a week is quite alot, i'd better up my game over the previous week where i gained. i'm gonna start logging exercise i do and meal times too. i don't want to eat when it's AM, so i'm sort of fasting through part of the day.

so you're aiming to average 1lbs per week to get you to your goal, i'm aiming 2. we can do this!
 
part of my previous post was supposed to be made in the weigh yourself everyday thread lol! i got mixed up as to what thread i was in :D

yeh 2lbs a week is quite alot, i'd better up my game over the previous week where i gained. i'm gonna start logging exercise i do and meal times too. i don't want to eat when it's AM, so i'm sort of fasting through part of the day.

so you're aiming to average 1lbs per week to get you to your goal, i'm aiming 2. we can do this!

I was aiming for 2 lbs a week, but I just can't make it happen so settling for whatever I can.
 
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