Marsia's Diary

Wow, thanks Petal! He actually wrote back and told me I am a good friend and opened up some about what is going on for him. My jaw nearly hit the floor because he usually is not that open about himself. So it paid off being brave and asking if he was ok. (I am too used to my mom who can be kind of defensive if she thinks I am pointing out a flaw in her, because she is very over-sensitive to criticism.) I can actually write him about real stuff like how to manage anxiety, which I have been working on for the last several years, so feel happy I can share what I learned, as we both have social anxiety. So it worked out being a little more forceful than I usually am!
 
What an excellent outcome Marsia. Reaching out to your friend has obviously shown him that you care & he has taken it in the manner you offered it. It will be good to be able to help him with coping skills. Kindness goes such a long way!
 
Hi LaMa! I don't have any idea if my friend will find a way to always stay sober, but it's just good he is honest about what he is going through. I can only hope he figures it out because he isn't someone who does things the usual way, and chafes at being told what to do. So I am writing to him about self compassion and my journey of learning to be ok with taking care of myself, because I know we both struggle with that. It's like a taboo or something that needs to be broken.
 
Had a good day. Meditated 4 days in a row and did stair stepper tonight in the dark so it didn't seem as hot, then put the light on for the last little bit so I could see how long I needed to keep going. Ate a lot of veggies and protein today, so feel really good!!
 
Marsia well done on everything . Helping your friend , dealing with your anxiety, eating well , working out . This is what it’s all about . Think focusing on the inner person first and foremost and the outer will come when the inner is in a good place . If that makes sense
 
I love what you said, Petal!! I am finding that the more I take care of myself, the better I am with others, as well.

My daughter is studying for a test so she can skip pre-algebra in her new school. So the other night, she was crying in frustration about how she can't remember the stuff my husband is showing her and the test is coming up soon. She is a perfectionist like me, so at first I felt stressed about what to say to her, but because I am working on acceptance in myself, I told her that whatever happens, she wins. If she doesn't skip the class, she will be really well prepared for it and can work on getting faster and more accurate next year, and if she passes the test and skips the class, she gets to be in the class she wants. So there is no way to lose. She felt bad that her friend who is also transferring to this new school and skipping pre-algebra might see her as not as smart. But we talked about how she can just be honest with her friend about what she struggles with in math and that her friend would understand. I am trying to teach her not to compare herself to others, because that is a part of that whole failed self-esteem campaign in the schools in the US which involves competition and comparison where you have to be better than other people. I am trying to teach her self compassion where you don't have to feel like you are better than anyone, but just accept who you are and treat yourself well. I was so happy with how our talk went, and I think it's because I am getting better at accepting my own humanity and things I struggle with.
 
Marsia said:
I am trying to teach her self-compassion where you don't have to feel like you are better than anyone, but just accept who you are and treat yourself well. I was so happy with how our talk went, and I think it's because I am getting better at accepting my own humanity and things I struggle with.
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I just LOVE this, Marsia. It is music to my ears xoxo
 
Marsia
I hope the test went well and I agree if she has to take the class so what . She works hard and that's what counts. The world today is really hard for our youngsters but like you I hope mine are individuals who are honest with themselves and accept themselves for what they are.
 
Thanks LaMa!

Well, my daughter and I did a beginning Zumba dvd last night for a half hour. The calorie counter says that Zumba burned 400 calories, which I think couldn't possibly be accurate. I chain sawed firewood yesterday for twice that time (1 hour) and that was supposedly 410 calories. But the stair stepper is around 110 calories for the same amount of time. I give up on understanding how there could be so much difference in exercises that all make me feel about as tired and sweaty!!! I am just going to pay attention to how much I eat and get a half hour exercise a day and ignore the weird, highly variable "calories burned" category.

I have been wondering if having black tea affects my weight. I started drinking it again on vacation and haven't stopped when I got home, and I should see if that is why I suddenly stopped losing weight. I am going to drink less and less this week and go off it again as an experiment.
 
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I've been having 1/2 aloe vera juice and 1/2 bubbly water for a healthy soda, and it doesn't taste bad. The bubbles disguise the aloe vera and the taste is actually growing on me.

Cleaned windows today and practiced on my new electric drum set my mom got me when we were at the music store getting guitar strings the other day. I can accompany my kid on her guitar now!
 
Marsia I am going with that plan to eat less , achieve my 10k steps per day but do 30 mins of aerobic exercise. I too don’t understand all the calories burned . My tracker only counts my exercise when my heart rate reaches certain level . I notice housework clocks up sometimes when mopping or vacuuming but what I like to do is go for walk or do a dvd . The rest is a bonus . Now I just need to get back in to it
 
I was talking with my husband about how weird it is that Zumba is supposedly burning 4x the calories of stair stepper, and he said that things that involve all the muscles like dancing where you use both arms and legs and twist around and use all the little muscles, too, burn more than things where you repetitively use the same muscles like with stair stepper. He says he loses more weight doing tennis than running. I did like the Zumba dvd because you use your hips and that loosens up my lower back and feels really good, so I guess I'll do more of that! And it does make sense that things that get your heart rate up will burn more, too. Maybe if we walk where there are big hills that will help. I like aerobic exercise, but have to work up to doing 30 minutes every day.

I've been meditating 30 minutes a day and it makes me happier and calmer. It also helps for training myself to pay attention to my thoughts. I notice that I think a lot of subtly negative thoughts about how I can't do things well, or thoughts about how I shouldn't bother taking care of myself, that there isn't time for that when there actually is time. It's weird when I pay attention to this, because it really didn't seem like I was thinking negative things. I have always admired people who get a lot done and who have a lot of energy and are very positive about life. I think how I am different is that I have been listening to negative thoughts without even realizing it, and they don't do that as much as I do. So maybe I can be one of those people who has a clean house, gets exercise and eats well, spends a lot of time with family, and also takes care of themselves. I wish I could get to all my hobbies I hardly ever get to like doing art a lot more, too.
 
Zumba really burns the calories. I love dancing/exercising to music. It sounds like you are even harder on yourself than I am Marsia. I don't know any perfect people. Send those negative thoughts back into the ether where they belong. Concentrate instead on all of your good qualities, including how much you are changing your mindset & how healthy you are getting, xoxo
 
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