Marsia's Diary
- Thread starter Marsia
- Start date
That's so cool Llama! I was thinking that the dream was saying that he didn't know to use more of his strength, and didn't see that I would get away without the help of the others or without using more strength, but you are right. J's brothers really like me IRL and would not help with anything like that. So it was a dream about the fear of being overpowered by J and his family. But the dream shows a weak attack, and just me panicking about it. Thanks!! I sort of like nightmares because they really help bring one's worries to the surface where they can be examined and made not so scary as they look when they are just vague threats lurking under the surface of my attention. There was this weird sense that J could not quite reach my eyes unless I let him. I think the dream is saying that I noticed in time and the attack won't succeed!
Thanks Cate - that's a nice compliment, especially because I am really working on my pessimism and it seems to be helping a lot! I feel like I have so much more faith in humanity now that I have had to ask for so much help. It is so amazing how much believing negative thoughts really altered my life and limited how I lived. I feel like I am climbing out of a cave and into the sun again. I think a new life goal is to understand the power of negative thoughts and how to dispel them. I am glad I'm studying positive psychology, which really addresses this well. I think most of my eating problems are about this and I am going to learn how to conquer these tendencies.
Yesterday was one of those get a little done on everything days. I did a lot of wash and folding, did a lot of dishes, pressure washed off more of the goofy primer that was painted over good paint on the porch, pressure washed some of the window screens, and got the walls prepped for paint in the entry. It was too humid to go outside, so I had a nice cool day indoors. Did some yoga and meditation and rested my back some, too. Back feels happy today.
Thanks Cate - that's a nice compliment, especially because I am really working on my pessimism and it seems to be helping a lot! I feel like I have so much more faith in humanity now that I have had to ask for so much help. It is so amazing how much believing negative thoughts really altered my life and limited how I lived. I feel like I am climbing out of a cave and into the sun again. I think a new life goal is to understand the power of negative thoughts and how to dispel them. I am glad I'm studying positive psychology, which really addresses this well. I think most of my eating problems are about this and I am going to learn how to conquer these tendencies.
Yesterday was one of those get a little done on everything days. I did a lot of wash and folding, did a lot of dishes, pressure washed off more of the goofy primer that was painted over good paint on the porch, pressure washed some of the window screens, and got the walls prepped for paint in the entry. It was too humid to go outside, so I had a nice cool day indoors. Did some yoga and meditation and rested my back some, too. Back feels happy today.
Oh nice being down a pound after all the snacking--that's the funnest diet of all! But yeah maybe with all that activity your body was needing more fuel!
I love the description of ringing the stress out of you with all the twisting poses!
Very intense dream (I love all the dream sharing going on here lately) I love that in your dream J was so weak and had no real power over you.
Sounds like a very productive day!
Thanks Liza! I was feeling a little funny about my emotions being so intense lately, so glad you didn't mind me posting my dream.
I guess I did get a little Gollem-like!
Thanks Cate! It helps me get less stressed to figure out what my subconscious might be saying to me, and I am glad the message is a positive one! I had another get a little done on everything day yesterday. Today I am ready to start painting the entry, but K will have a friend over and I don't want to paint and have them deal with fumes, so it looks like today is another of those sort of days. I may bake or clean out the basement for packing the boxes in there in preparation for selling the house. I wish it would cool down so I could do some yard work. It's low 90s (34.4C) all week, but the humidity makes it feel way hotter. The paint doesn't dry if I open the windows, but I just open them to try to get the fumes out, so it's probably better that I am doing other things anyway. My store bought tomato plants all have little tomatoes on them now, and the volunteer ones, too. Not much new, just feeling good that I am motivated to get a lot done!I love it when something that at first sounds negative can be turned into a positive. Even in your nightmare, J was not capable of overpowering you.
I might try a "get a little done on everything" day today
Thanks everyone! The tomatoes are loving all the rain and hot - definitely tomato weather! Sometimes it's dumping rain and still almost as hot as before it rained. The basement is a lot cooler, and I must remember this for future respite!! Just when the house was clean and I had my day all set up, K and friend decided to go to the friend's house instead, but I noticed that for the first time in days and days it was semi-cool out (for here) so I grabbed my rake and got half the driveway raked, and it's mostly pine needles, so I am weeding and mulching the flower beds as I go. I'm taking a break to get some water and a little peak at the diaries. It's so nice not to be breathing in paint fumes or paint fumes mixed with hot, humid air. I am amongst the prehistoric little spiky palm-like bushes now, and it makes me so happy getting to enjoy them. Them and the huge pine forest are my favorite things about the yard. I am sitting in my freshly painted glowingly sand-white room that overlooks the pine forest now. It's like being on vacation (except for needing to rake and landscape so the house sells!). I found a bag of dark chocolate "bark" the other day, and I am surprising myself in just having a little snack of a few a day and not overdoing it. I think I'll go have another quick weed before dusk.
I think this is a very powerful statement and one to come back to if things get tough in the coming months. Reach out and ask for help! I think humans are like flowers - when there is lots of light and heat, we open up and shine brightly. When the dark clouds, cold and rain come, we close ourselves up. But we have the choice not to do that, and flowers don't!
Glad you got some raking and weeding done and it's cooled a bit.
Thanks Llama, it's been so nice taking little breaks and doing things outside. It's still very humid, but cooler. I love how things are starting to come together. The driveway is looking good again though there is more to do on it, but that really makes it look tidy and nice out there. I am surprised about the chocolate not being a bigger temptation. I think it's just too hot to digest things well, so I actually dropped another pound.
Thanks Cate! When I first started trying to rake after I found out I had frozen shoulder, it hurt for days after I raked, but now it's just a little annoyed for a few hours. The painting really strengthened my arm again! I have mostly been craving frozen berries and yogurt, thankfully! Glad you were able to resist, too!
I really love this color. It's very soothing, and I may paint my next house like this, too. I am really astounded how having color shouting at you vs having a soothing color in a room makes a massive difference as far as feeling relaxed. I get why people paint in neutrals now!
Thanks Em, I really had trouble asking for help before this, so this is all a massive lesson for me to have learned! I like the idea of viewing myself as an open flower - great symbolism! I am really enjoying the weeding now, for some reason. I guess it's to the point where whatever I do makes it look a lot better, so instant gratification.
I got most of the bottom story of the entry under a coat of primer yesterday, and will keep at that today. It's the last room that absolutely needs painting, and the rest are bonus rooms if I get to them. However it is a huge space that opens up to a really large open room above with high ceilings, so it will probably use up all my paint, which startled me how darned much it cost when I bought it. I even got the bigger bulk containers of paint. K will need to have her tonsils out. They swelled shut so they are touching now, and we didn't know until her back tooth chipped and we went to the dentist who told us that she is grinding her teeth in her sleep to try to get more oxygen. So we have an ear, nose and throat doctor appointment for that. I had similar problems with enlarged tonsils as a kid. She is off with a happy friend who has a large reptile (mostly lizard) collection. I am getting happier that the list of stuff to do is shrinking and may even be a manageable amount of stuff to do soon! It doesn't feel like a swirling long list of too much in my head anymore. It feels really good not to feel overwhelmed for the first time in a long time!
I love the feel of getting things crossed off the list!
Paint color makes such a difference. I am surprised in my place I ended up going with just a shade lighter/brighter than what they had in here before and even that made a big difference to lifting the place into a happier space. It's so nice when you find just the right shade even when sticking to neutrals.
Brilliant Marsia! It really sounds like you're making huge progress on all the house stuff.