Marsia's Diary

Maybe we can go to the nice dock we went to the other day and sketch the waves and shoreline where we get an ocean breeze. It's a covered dock and has a lot of seating, so we could avoid the sun beating down on us. It's near a fantastic grocery store with inexpensive sandwiches, so we could have a picnic. Time to start the day...
That sounds like a beautiful plan for the day. I hope you enjoy it!
 
What Liza said. Also: K and Friend having a vacation together somewhere will be so much more fun and age appropriate than just visiting!
 
I am really interested in visiting Merida on the Yucatan Peninsula. Supposedly it is a truce zone where the cartels' families live, so no one creates violence there because their family lives there. There are Mayan ruins and cenotes to explore and gorgeous architecture and museums. The food is supposed to be divine, too.
Merida is one place in Mexico I always wanted to go, but never made it there. I've heard lots of good things about it, and it is far enough removed from Cancun and Cozumel to avoid most tourist traps. Yucatan is a place I regret not making it to.

Sorry for your J troubles... I know its hard, but I think you are doing the right thing. Stick to it and all will workout fine.
now we are interacting with family who doesn't know why I am divorcing J.
You have no obligation to tell anyone, its your business alone. Not that you shouldn't tell people if it makes sense and you are comfortable with it. No obligation though!
 
Thanks Cate and Llama, you always know just what to say! I agree about the clumsiness - both things are true and I need to tend to both my physical and mental health and not try to rush the painting. I really didn't like that K's best friend's parents wanted to have K over, and it turns out they knew about the abuse and didn't drop J as their client. K overheard the husband ask when K was going to leave last time she visited and doesn't feel welcome there anyway, so we'll plan a nice vacation for K and her best friend somewhere really fun for them instead.
That sounds like a much nicer plan for K & her friend.
I think today is a meditation retreat day with a little packing and painting thrown in, instead of the other way around. I want to find more open boxes of art supplies because I know there's an open one with good sketching supplies in it. I am way overdo for teaching K what I know about sketching. Maybe we can go to the nice dock we went to the other day and sketch the waves and shoreline where we get an ocean breeze. It's a covered dock and has a lot of seating, so we could avoid the sun beating down on us. It's near a fantastic grocery store with inexpensive sandwiches, so we could have a picnic. Time to start the day...
I hope you get to do that, M. I sighed when I read that. It sounds just lovely xoxo
Re: having trouble with the forum. I can only get into it on my laptop & have https://www.fitness.com/en/forum/whats-new/posts/187492/ as my home page on Google Chrome. I haven't been able to log in on my phone for months now & no one replies to my emails.
 
That sounds like a beautiful plan for the day. I hope you enjoy it!
Thanks Liza, we were too tired at the end of the day so will save this plan for later in the week. We did do a nice jetted tub and tea.
What Liza said. Also: K and Friend having a vacation together somewhere will be so much more fun and age appropriate than just visiting!
I think so, too. Actually friend said the exact same thing!
Merida is one place in Mexico I always wanted to go, but never made it there. I've heard lots of good things about it, and it is far enough removed from Cancun and Cozumel to avoid most tourist traps. Yucatan is a place I regret not making it to.

Sorry for your J troubles... I know its hard, but I think you are doing the right thing. Stick to it and all will workout fine.

You have no obligation to tell anyone, its your business alone. Not that you shouldn't tell people if it makes sense and you are comfortable with it. No obligation though!
I have a friend who used to live in Merida, and loved it. You could still plan a trip there, right? I think you are right to just not panic and things will work out. Thanks for the encouragement! I also really appreciate your perspective that I don't need to explain myself to J's family. That would not work out well, and I will avoid it unless forced to enlist their help, I think. I had been worrying about that, but you are right, no need to make things more stressful!
Ooh, that is something that has never occurred to me to do. Maybe I will do that this week.

Hope you get back on balance soon. x
Thanks Em! I think yesterday really helped. Just getting stuff done really helps my stress level, and I slowly plodded along and took care of my foot and accomplished a lot, and we relaxed and had a nice evening with a good steak dinner with yummy veggies with poratbella mushrooms in them. It was the last of our meat in the freezer from back when I knew prices were about to rise, so it was a nice treat. I hope you do go peak at your childhood home. I really enjoyed doing that with mine, and it was fun to see the little town I grew up in again, too.
That sounds like a much nicer plan for K & her friend.

I hope you get to do that, M. I sighed when I read that. It sounds just lovely xoxo
Re: having trouble with the forum. I can only get into it on my laptop & have https://www.fitness.com/en/forum/whats-new/posts/187492/ as my home page on Google Chrome. I haven't been able to log in on my phone for months now & no one replies to my emails.
Thanks Cate, we'll definitely do the nice sketching afternoon soon! Thanks for the link - I put it where I can access it, because it drives me nuts how the search feature doesn't even work on this website. That stinks you can't get on the forum with your phone anymore.

Got my room clean, all the furniture pushed to the center of the room, the walls taped and prepped, and made nice food yesterday, and in between I meditated and listened to nice podcasts and stuff. It's so nice feeling like I am taking care of myself while also getting a lot done. Much nicer than pushing myself, which makes me resist. K was really tired after her outing yesterday, so we'll sketch another day soon!
 
That's good you were flexible enough to just adjust the plans. Jetted tub and tea sounds great!
Got my room clean, all the furniture pushed to the center of the room, the walls taped and prepped, and made nice food yesterday, and in between I meditated and listened to nice podcasts and stuff. It's so nice feeling like I am taking care of myself while also getting a lot done.
Sounds like a really great day--really good balance of work and rest!
 
I love hearing you have such a good balance too & taking good care of yourself. That dinner sounds delicious. I love mushrooms 😋
 
Thanks everyone! Mushrooms are so delectible! Today was another painting day. K was out, so I got a base coat on the walls and practiced Spanish and figured out what to say to my sister in law. She sent K a text about getting a graduation present to K, and when K asked what SIL's daughter (K's cousin) is into these days (so that K could make her a gift), SIL told her to get a gift card. K likes to make presents for her cousins, and doesn't want to give an impersonal gift card, and we are saving every penny for legal defense. So I wrote and apologized that we hadn't planned on giving a gift and will send one when I don't have to save for legal fees. I said it nicer than that. I hope this is the last of dealing with J's relatives. I do feel like I did ok writing to her, so I am happy. Does anyone else find it weird that she expects us to give her kid a graduation present when we are divorcing her brother? She is a very hard to talk to person, and I am not close with her, and her kids are polite to me, but also answer my questions about how they are doing in very short answers, so I don't really feel like I know any of them at all, though I did try to.
 
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M that is quite weird. She probably has no idea about what has happened. She would only have one version. Try not to give it too much thought at all xoxo
 
When I was graduating money/gift cards were really all I cared about. I don't think you have to send her daughter a gift; it's just that K asked about it and your SIL gave an honest answer, right?
 
Thanks everyone! Mushrooms are so delectible! Today was another painting day. K was out, so I got a base coat on the walls and practiced Spanish and figured out what to say to my sister in law. She sent K a text about getting a graduation present to K, and when K asked what SIL's daughter (K's cousin) is into these days (so that K could make her a gift), SIL told her to get a gift card. K likes to make presents for her cousins, and doesn't want to give an impersonal gift card, and we are saving every penny for legal defense. So I wrote and apologized that we hadn't planned on giving a gift and will send one when I don't have to save for legal fees.
You did the right thing. The only high school graduation "gift" I can remember now, after 50 years, was a really nice letter from an uncle. No money invested except in paper and stamp, but I still remember it.

I think of that now and then when I get a graduation announcement, but I usually give in and buy something. Or give money.
 
haha I don't think I got any graduation presents! I didn't know that was a thing! Anyhow I think if K wants to make a present that is great and should just go ahead and do that, but yeah I don't think she should feel obliged to get her anything.
 
Thanks everyone! I ended up reiterating that I did want to give a gift when we have the means. We really don't right now - I need to be sure we have money for the lawyers if they bill me, so I need to be very frugal. Maybe we'll make a really fun card from all the pictures of the cousins growing up or something like that and also a nice little personal gift. I did let SIL know that this has been a long, hard process but that we're ok. I don't want to involve his family in the mess unless I absolutely need to. We have a nice day off today where we're going to get those "we have to do this someday" things done.
 
I wouldn't put too much energy into fretting over the gift thing. It is awkward though, but anyway.

Hope you cross a few more things off the list today.
 
Thanks Em, Cate, and Llama. After K's therapist also said that it's really weird what SIL is doing, I thought about it more. The SIL was also trying to get info from K that J wasn't getting from me, so she's being what they call a flying monkey, someone who sides with the narcissist in a divorce and tries to help him unquestioningly. I am taking everyone's advice and not thinking about it anymore! Yesterday was good - got phones backed up, lots of stuff from the garage that we want to get rid of cleaned, and I started applying to school next year for a teaching credential, which made me happy. K really needed a day off, so we took it easy. I really stress ate yesterday, so will take it easy a few days before weighing again. I'm feeling really good about the progress we're making on the house, and now realize I don't have to engage with anyone J knows again. That makes me feel a lot better.
 
I'm glad you had such a good day & yay for applying for a teaching credential. 👏
You are making wonderful progress, M. Not engaging with anyone J knows will also be much better for you.
 
Thanks everyone! Cate, I feel so much better ignoring all that nonsense. Phew! I am planning out the next part of the week and getting happy at how much I think I can get done. It feels so good to know that I could do a big push and be out of here in a few months if necessary, and if not, I can continue to fix things up and save up a little money with any luck. I went to my therapist and she was flabbergasted at all the crap happening. I don't post some of it here so I don't sound like a broken record. It's really nice getting validation and to have someone help with decisions and just for a reality check. Then I went to the bookstore and looked at glossy travel books on Mexico and had a nice time and shopped at the inexpensive gourmet market. I am so glad for fresh garden tomatoes because the veggies in the stores are not very fresh here. Maybe we should find a good farmer's market. We had the last of the steak and a big garden tomato with mayo last night, and it was the most decadent meal. I'm happy the forecast looks like rain for later on this week. It's been so sunny and hot, and the rain is so soothing. I still am afraid to weigh myself. I think I may wait until the weekend. I am going to do yoga and meditation and see how I feel. I may just do Spanish and turn in early and read. Note to get Cate's electrolyte blend. I tried Gatorade, and it's ghastly horrible. :eek:
 
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