Marsia's Diary
- Thread starter Marsia
- Start date
Thanks everyone! It feels really good getting things done and finding ways to feel less stressed. Yesterday was really good, too. We cleared out half the garage and tried to fix the garage door so it would open again, but we didn't succeed with the door, but it's a 2 car garage and the other door works, so it's fine for now. I carried about 30 huge bags of coffee chaff out of the garage. They weigh about 40-45 pounds a piece, so I can really tell that my arm is getting much better. We got pictures of all the furniture for selling it before it's moved to the ugly garage, and cleaned house, so now we're ready for my friend to come with her friends to move furniture today. I just have to make a wider path through the basement this morning and we are all set. It feels so good to be working towards moving out of here!
I realized that I can take all that coffee chaff and use it to mulch the beds and then water it so it doesn't all blow away, and I won't need much decorative pine straw mulch for making the flower beds look good for pictures of the house to sell it. It will smell like coffee for months, so I think I'll do this now so the smell has time to dissipate, but that's a nice solution to what to do with that much coffee chaff. I tried to give it away, but no one wants it, which is funny, because it is an incredible source of nitrogen and so good for gardens. Anyway, another good, productive day. I ate well, too. I have been eating pistachios when I get food cravings and they are so filling, I tend to skip a meal after having them.
I realized that I can take all that coffee chaff and use it to mulch the beds and then water it so it doesn't all blow away, and I won't need much decorative pine straw mulch for making the flower beds look good for pictures of the house to sell it. It will smell like coffee for months, so I think I'll do this now so the smell has time to dissipate, but that's a nice solution to what to do with that much coffee chaff. I tried to give it away, but no one wants it, which is funny, because it is an incredible source of nitrogen and so good for gardens. Anyway, another good, productive day. I ate well, too. I have been eating pistachios when I get food cravings and they are so filling, I tend to skip a meal after having them.
Nice that you are getting all that work done! And lovely that you will have a nice easy use of all that coffee chaff. It's funny I always thought I should only put the coffee grounds around my acid-loving plants but just now when googling it, it sounded like it's also good for greens so I think I will start putting it on my kale beds too. I don't have much for coffee grounds--just what I drink myself, so not sure it will make much difference either way, but good to know!
I forget about coffee grounds as far as nutrition. That's great it is good for everything. I used to get lots from cafes in CA. The chaff is from when they roast it, the outer husk falls off and is this light fluffy stuff that the local coffee roasting company gave away in these massive bags. The lady who took some of my fruit trees and plants is interested in some, too.
I am so beat. Today I cleared a big wide path through the basement, cleaned more house, and hauled plants and trees around for my friend and one of the guys who helped move stuff took some fruit trees. We were so tired we just went out to a movie afterwards. It was the Bob Marley movie, and was very inspiring. I am not used to musician movies where it doesn't end badly. This one is just about the beautiful Rastafarian tradition he came from and showing the mess his country was in and how he helped bring the warring sides together through his music. Ok, I think we'll have a chai now and go to bed. I got such an intense workout the last 2 days!
I am so beat. Today I cleared a big wide path through the basement, cleaned more house, and hauled plants and trees around for my friend and one of the guys who helped move stuff took some fruit trees. We were so tired we just went out to a movie afterwards. It was the Bob Marley movie, and was very inspiring. I am not used to musician movies where it doesn't end badly. This one is just about the beautiful Rastafarian tradition he came from and showing the mess his country was in and how he helped bring the warring sides together through his music. Ok, I think we'll have a chai now and go to bed. I got such an intense workout the last 2 days!
Oh I see! That does sound like it would be good mulch!
Nice work on getting all that stuff done and then enjoying some good movie time afterwards.
Thanks! I am really happy now to see physical evidence that we are moving forward. The living room and entry are so much more empty and this makes me happy. Things are starting to move forward! J finally answered me that he'll let me know which things he wants so I can get the stuff moved, and I let him know that I already had it moved because I asked him 2 weeks ago to decide, and he didn't get back to me, so I just moved what I thought was reasonable. That also makes me happy. I can work around him to some extent and accomplish things. There isn't much more community property that is small stuff, so I can mostly just deal with my own stuff and not have to coordinate with him, so I am really feeling a lot more free and in charge of my life. Much better! Food was good today. I made such a filling breakfast that I wasn't very hungry today. It was a nice omelette with teff tortilla, sausage, roasted red pepper, and sharp cheddar. I also had a small snack of berries and yogurt. I can barely move now. All the exercise feels really good even though I'm very sore!
Thanks everyone! We are having more school-intense days now to make sure we catch up on school for the semester. We're in a cafe waiting for the front, bald tires to be replaced now. It's nice getting the car in good working order. We're doing little yoga sessions more than once a day, and my shoulder and neck are really liking that. I weighed myself and am down 3 pounds, but also my weight's been fluxuating a lot lately, so won't count that until it's stable for a week or so. Anyway, having it go down once shows good odds of it coming back off if I am careful. Weather has been really random, too. It was quite warm the last few days, and now there is frost on all the roofs. I am doing little meditation periods again, and it's very calming. Maybe I'll meditate regularly again.
Thanks! The shorter sessions are really working. Though my arm is very achy, it is healing and I am getting way more mobility back. I am very relieved!
Thanks Llama, since you said this, I really kept at it, and it's working!! We got the oil changed and other stuff done to the car today and now have a nicely running car again.
The weight went up a little again, but I'll keep at it and it'll come back down soon. Thanks for reminding me to meditate. I've been doing so many things, I forgot I was going to do more of that!
Thanks Cate, I am stopping and just appreciating life more consciously the last few days, and I will do a little meditation before bed now that you all reminded me!
We've been taking longer walks and it's been warmer, so I am getting color back in my face, which is nice. Today we got lovely sunset pics and there were so many flocks of beautiful birds out. I am feeling good about our situation. Even if we don't get everything we're entitled to, I feel so lucky at how well we are bouncing back and that we'll get enough to start out on our own makes me really grateful for our lawyers. I decided not to stress about the money part too much if I can help it. It really won't bring the kind of happiness that just being a family brings or being free. I am starting to shift my focus to recognizing that pretty soon we'll be free and out of this situation and on to a new life. It feels much better to do this. I feel like I've done what I can and the rest is up to fate or whatever outside forces are at play.
We're really loving our positive psychology class, and I'm learning so much. I also started a book by a therapist who works with people healing from narcissistic abuse and the book is amazing. I started it today and feel so understood and about 30 pounds lighter. I'm tired from the long walk and good yoga, so will turn in now. I hope I can figure out how to write a little about some of the wonderful things we are learning in positive psych without typing pages and pages. I'll have to think about it more when I have a brain again!
Cate
Long term member
This makes me feel so happy for you, M! I can't wait to share this next stage with you xoxo
I agree that money doesn't buy happiness and getting as much as possible from J because "he doesn't deserve to keep it" will just make you bitter and unhappy but a better financial buffer IS helpful, especially if you're going to go back to school and don't know how many years you'll be able to work before you (have to) retire. I like your mindset better though!
Thanks Cate!!! I can't wait either!
I agree with you completely, but I am making myself crazy with worrying about money, and I just need to see the big picture so I can ever stop tensing up and can heal my arm and move on to happier things. It's one of those situations where I just have control over certain things, and beyond that, I can't control what happens, so I need to be really creative and make things work out by being flexible and adaptive. I also want to go into mediation with a happy mindset. I'm not giving up though. I am researching everything and have a really good list of things to discuss with my lawyer so we make sure we get everything we can.
It's sunny and warm out today, so I want to get out in the garden and do nice things. My friend is coming next week for more fruit trees and plants. Things are starting to look manageable for the eventual move now.
That sounds like a very good balanced approach.
Cool! I hope that you do (but only if it's not another chore to add to the to-do list!)