Jaclyn's diary

Ok, Fuunkymonk, I talk on the phone until the wee hours of the night and then skip my journaling for just one day and you have added two pages to your journal! You go, girl! ;)
First of all, Congrats on the 5 pound loss! It just took your body a few weeks to realize that you mean business! Did you "reward" yourself? (...because you deserve it...)
Good luck at the doc's...
Happy 1 month anniversary! Your new life is underway! Keep at it!
Totallyscrappy
 
Haha, what can I say Totallyscrappy, I'm a writer and sometimes I just have a lot to say!
Thanks for the congrats. I still don't feel like there was any weight loss, but I know in time it will show more. I haven't gotten to "reward" myself since I'm super broke and running around from school to work everyday, but after I get my tax return I'm planning on getting a digital camera and a membership to Curves gym. That doctor better have good news for me because I want to exercise!!!

So I was really disappointed in those Healthy Choice ice cream bars. They're nowhere near as good as the Smart Ones (which are made by Weight Watchers.) So I'm not going to waste calories on them just because they're there. I did want something sweet (that time of the month is approaching) so I came up with a sweet dessert that had nutritional value:

Dessert:
10 small strawberries dipped in a peanut butter chocolate sauce I made by melting 2 tablespoons of peanut butter and three kisses together in the microwave. It was a very good snack. Next time though I think I'll only use 1 1/2 tablespoons of peanut butter because it was not chocolatey enough and the peanut butter had way more calories than the kisses. 190 cals for the peanut butter compared to 75 for the kisses. It was kind of a high calorie snack, but I had room for it because I ate pretty light today (I was only at like, 900) and it had fruit and the protein of the peanut butter.
 
Well, I went to that stupid ankle doctor today. He made me wait for an hour and a half and then take 3 more X-rays (mind you I've had about 10, and a MRI and a bone scan,) and then he told me he doesn't think there's anything wrong with me (because I must be making up the pain) and told me to lose weight.

I'm serious.

I started crying and I asked him how I was supposed to lose weight if I can't do strenuous exercise (two months ago he told me to stay off my feet and suggested that I use CRUTCHES!) and he just kind of brushed me off and gave me anti-inflammatory medicine and told me to play through the pain. Even though the new x-rays showed that the bone tumor has gotten bigger. So I was hysterically crying the whole way to school and I was crying in my class and I had to take a quiz on some really tough Renassaince stuff. I stopped crying when class started. My teacher is so funny and cool, I still enjoyed class, but I can't stop thinking about how crappy it made me feel. Then I went out to lunch with my best friend, and had some chips with my sandwich (which goes to show you that emotional eating is real) and then I felt like crap for doing that, even though they were light chips. I just got out of my other classes and now I guess I'm going to go to the gym and "play through the pain." My mom wants me to go see someone else, but I'm sick of wasting time and money on the stupid ankle, especially if it just hurts because I'm big and fat and ugly.

My ex-boyfriend's birthday is this weekend too and I keep thinking about him. And I'm getting my period. Neither of those things is helping.

So here's my lunch:
Vegetable sandwich on pumpernickel bread which had yellow, red, and green pepper slices, zucchini slices, tomato slices, and spinach leaves, with an artichoke spread (who knows how many calories that was. It tasted healthy.)
Bag of lite chips (150 calories. :()
Diet Coke

I'm not saying I want to give up by any means, that doctor just made me feel so bad. And if I had known that's what he was going to say I would have been exercising this whole time. I was trying to follow his orders and stay off my ankle. Now he tells me to play through the pain. I hate him.
 
Last edited:
Well, I went to the gym and I did 30 minutes on the gazelle, which was good. I definitely broke a sweat. I also did a few minutes on the bike, but I hate the bike, so when a gazelle opened I abandoned the bike. I'm glad I went-now it's time to make it a regular thing.
 
Dinner:
Bowl of tomato soup made with 1/2 cup fat free milk for creaminess (and calcium!)-(250 cals)
Orange (60 cals)
Light Lemonade (5 cals)

Ugh, what a day. I know I have to shrug it off. My pride was just hurt. I have to keep on going. At least E.R. is on in 10 minutes. And my cat is the greatest cat to ever walk the earth.
 
Oh honey your whole day really sucked!!!!!!!

I hate it when doctors put it down to being "fat". whereas if a slim person had the same problem they would have to seek an alternative to "lose weight". Being lighter of course helps but it doesnt make tumours go away. Give yourself a few days and then hopefully you will reconsider the second opinion.
Here is why I say this...just between you and I. After my first child I had fertility issues. I was reffered to a specialist,...his advice "lose weight". I thought hey I weighed more than this when I got pregnant with my first child. I went back to my dr. and got a second referral. Second referral diagnosed my hyperthyroidism which in turn was playing havoc with hormones, it got corrected and now I have three lovely daughters. Dont give up sugar....you are so worth it to keep fighting.
 
I'm really sorry to hear about your doctor. I definitely would recommend seeking a second opinion. I know you've invested a lot of pain and time into it so far, but just think if it could be better. You're an amazing girl! Don't forget that! You CAN and WILL lose the weight. You're doing great already and once everything gets together you'll be doing even better. If you don't feel right with that doctor, I definitely suggest going elsewhere. Anyway! Best of luck to you hun, you're doing great!
 
What a bummer of a day!!!
What an idiot doctor. Like everyone else, I say keep going until you get a doctor that listens.
Or ;) you could make an appointment with the same doc for a month or so down the road. You'll have lost more weight by then and then he can admit that he doesn't know his ankle from a medical textbook...
(Sorry, evil thoughts occur now and then...)
Really, there is a doc out there who will help you!
You are doing so well!!!
Totallyscrappy
 
You are doing so well, don't let some dr. that seems to know nothing about what he's talking about get you down. Keep smiling and keep up the great work.
 
Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. I know I have to forget about it, my pride was just hurt. I'm not giving up though. And at least now I know if I exercise and hurt myself I can sue him for negligence. :)

Breakfast:
Egg Beaters
2 Slices Veggie Bacon
1/4 cup Orange Juice
 
Lunch:
Veggie Salami Sandwich-2 slices honey wheat bread, 3 slices Veggie Salami, 2 pickle slices. (200 cals)
Orange (80 cals)
Fat free pudding (100)
Diet Cherry 7up

Snack:
Chewy Chocolate Chip Granola bar (110 cals)
 
Breakfast:
Egg Beaters (60 cals)
3 strawberries and a few blueberries (10 cals?)

I was in a rush to get to work-it's going to be a long day of U2 onsales in Canada. Blah.

I'm hoping to hit the gym later.
 
So the U2 onsale wasn't so bad, but none of us have been able to wat lunch just yet. I did sneak some fruit to my desk though...

Snack:
Cup of strawberries and blueberries (40 cals)
 
Lunch: (At my desk while on the phone with crazy customers)
Veggie Turkey Sandwich-2 slices honey wheat bread, 2 slices Veggie Turkey, 2 pickle slices (200 cals)
 
I left work and went to Babies R Us because I'm going to my friend's baby shower tomorrow!!! I'm so excited! Two of my friends from high school (who I got together thank you very much) got married and they're having a baby and I'm super excited about it. She's having a girl, so I got the baby book that was on her registry and then I had to get a pink stuffed soft floppy puppy that's kind of like the one I still have from when I was little. After I was done shopping I came home and...

Went to the gym!!!! Yay me.

I popped an anti-inflammatory medicine with my breakfast this morning, so I was able to go and I did thirty minutes on the gazelle. It was a good workout, 200 calories burned according to the machine.

Now I have to buy some food-I go through fruit like there isn't a tomorrow.
 
Snack after the gym:
Light Fat Free Peach yogurt (130 cals)


Dinner:
Healthy Choice Manicotti Meal (280 cals)
Sliced cucumber and tomato with tsp of olive oil and red wine vinagarette (50 cals)
 
Thanks!

Dessert:
Smart Ones Cookie Ice Cream Bar (120 cals)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top