Floater's diary

I had a restless night - Nera wanted to squeeze herself next to my pillow, and I sleep in a single bed, so while it was nice to cuddle and spoon her for a while, my mouth got full of dog fur and eventually I had to move my pillow to the foot end of the bed. I kept tossing and turning until 3AM when I decided to get up and make myself a cup of coffee. Fell asleep soon after that :ROFLMAO:

Assistance person came over at 9, I made polenta and we planned the week together and just talked in general. I'm not a morning person so it was expected that I wasn't going to be able to do a ton of stuff. I'll have half of the polenta for breakfast soon, I still need to figure out what I want to have it with!

EDIT: I'm skipping my meds today (it is recommended to take a day or two off them every once in a while to prevent developing tolerance) so my goals for today are to just chill. I won't even go to the post to get my package (I bought a hair dryer, which is convenient now that I exercise a lot and wash my hair almost daily), I'll just rest and eat.

EDIT 2: I can't even put it to words how PROUD I am that I exercised on six days last week. I'm in a much better physical condition than I thought. I guess depression has made me doubt myself and minimize myself and now that I'm in a better place mentally, I can really enjoy what my body can do.

My next four-day workout plan is: gym, waterjogging, gym, rest. Rest day Friday is also my benefits day and I booked a haircut. I like the buzzed side so much that I want the other side buzzed too, so I'll have a cool mohawk style man bun with a v-shape in the nape of the neck. Saturday is grocery delivery day. I'm really happy about my progress this past month. I have been working hard and I feel proud of myself.
 
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Breakfast: pan-fried polenta, 200g of frozen peas, a marinated egg, 250g of fresh cherry tomatoes

EDIT: it amuses me that it's my first meal of the day and I'm only 50g short of the Finnish national recommendation of daily veg intake :pumpkin:

While my IBS hasn't gone anywhere and I still get bloated and gassy, I much prefer my current gut situation to constantly having the runs like I used to. I still hit the can 6-10 times a day, but eating this volume of plant based stuff makes the experience much less jarring and, to put it politely, saves me a lot of bog roll.

Sorry for being a bit gross in the spoiler, but I wanted to write that down to keep up my motivation: my IBS issues will probably be with me for the rest of my life, so noticing how my improved diet makes them at least a bit more tolerable is yet another reason to keep up with my diet and exercise!
 
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Yay for gym pride! Feeling the strength and capability of your body is the best. Half a kilo of fruit and veg a day is not a lot but I´m going to assume that they´re also on the expensive side up there. How do you make the spoiler thing?
 
LaMaria said:
Half a kilo of fruit and veg a day is not a lot but I´m going to assume that they´re also on the expensive side up there. How do you make the spoiler thing?
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I eat much more than half a kilo per day, I think the recommendation is tailored towards people who don't eat any produce at all... So it's less intimidating to recommend 500g of "bunny food" to a hard headed fat middle aged guy than, say, a kilo 😅

The spoiler doesn't work on mobile but on PC it's the second one of the "show more options" icons (three dots) from the left. Klick it, you'll see an icon of an eye with a diagonal line across it, that's the spoiler :)
 
Thanks!

Toxic masculinity: when you can't touch green things that'll do you good for fear your balls will shrivel up and fall off?
 
LaMaria said:
Toxic masculinity: when you can't touch green things that'll do you good for fear your balls will shrivel up and fall off?
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Indeed.

My ex FIL is like that. Imagine a guy who looks like a garden gnome, short, with a rock hard pot belly, and a white beard. He used to make fun of me when I was a vegan and tell me that I'll get fat because "there's carbs in vegetables". A couple of years ago he decided to lose weight "for his health" by only eating pre-packaged foods and counting calories. The man would literally not touch a tomato because of "carbs bad" but drank sugary juice. He managed to lose muscle mass and mobility but the pot belly stayed. He was still immensely proud of himself and proceeded to harp on his wife and kids about their food, even labeling the MILs food portion calories in the fridge with post its. In short: the man is a bully. All of his kids either restrict or binge. I'm glad I'm out of their lives.

Lunch: soba noodles with edamame, arugula, chopped cashews, and a marinated egg.

EDIT: was left hungry after lunch, so I decided to have a soy protein shake and the 50g of banana toffee that's been sitting on my table for a while now. I feel really happy for no specific reason at all. Just happy for happiness' sake.
 
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Aaaahhhh I had a long nap and woke up feeling like I've been knocked out cold 😂😂 I dreamed of: an Austrian village where every surface of every house and yard is covered in purple cabbage; a TV interview about a lesbian pastor and her adult daughter; and that I accidentally bought ham that was too expensive for me, but that the cashier wouldn't cancel the purchase and basically called me an entitled pussy 😂😂😂

Foot is still a bit sore but I feel better after sleeping. Also VERY HUNGRY. I might actually have to slip up and go buy ham, in the dream I almost cried when I realized I couldn't afford it 😂😂
 
Dinner is in the oven: cubed almond potatoes, black bean sauce, 200g of frozen peas; I'll have these with cold Christmas ham slices (I think it's legit ham and not pressed sludge, AKA clown meat) and a side of cold roasted butternut squash. YUM.

I also bought bananas, more oat cream, margarine, and apples. I'll make more mashed potatoes either tonight or tomorrow morning. I also have vacuum packed pre-baked pita bread in the cupboard which needs to be eaten within the next two weeks. It would probably taste great with ham and arugula. FUCK, I forgot to buy more cherry tomatoes... Hng. Well, I need to eat the turnips I have in the fridge before my next grocery delivery anyway so maybe it's good I forgot :D

EDIT: I toasted three pita breads in the oven once dinner was done, ate one with marg with the main course, and after having eaten dinner and not feeling satiated I had another with marg, mustard, arugula, and ham. It was great. The third one is in the fridge wrapped in tin foil, waiting for later. (I'll probably have it tomorrow with ham, marinated egg, and arugula.) No wonder I was hungry, as I had only had breakfast and lunch today! I'm a happy camper.
 
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Floater said:
I feel really happy for no specific reason at all. Just happy for happiness' sake.
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❤️
Floater said:
an Austrian village where every surface of every house and yard is covered in purple cabbage
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:rotflmao: I know there's a village that has a daffodil festival but red cabbage would be new to me. Too much Milka chocolate in the stores?
Floater said:
Well, I need to eat the turnips I have in the fridge before my next grocery delivery anyway so maybe it's good I forgot :D
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Less nice but more seasonal...

Your ex-FIL sounds like a piece of work!
 
Time to take Nera for her late night pee and take the trash out & take a shower. I hope I'll fall asleep easily so I can wake up early and go to the gym during the short daylight time. Already packed my gym gear. Feeling excited about hitting the gym after a rest day, that's always a good day results wise! I hope the common area is empty enough that I can go there to do bench presses. The women's side doesn't have the equipment for that for some insane reason.

EDIT: forgot that I have an assistance person coming over at 16.15 so if I want to hit the gym before that, I have to leave by 12. If I have a sleepless night, I'll just ask him to give me a ride to the gym :)
 
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LaMaria said:
How do you make the spoiler thing?
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Thanks for asking, LaMa. I was going to try to work it out one day.....
Floater said:
The spoiler doesn't work on mobile but on PC it's the second one of the "show more options" icons (three dots) from the left. Klick it, you'll see an icon of an eye with a diagonal line across it, that's the spoiler :)
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& thanks for the explanation :) Floater. It's good to know.
I love seeing you so happy. It's a wonderful thing. Happiness is contagious :D
 
@Cate 💯❤️

I was too hungry to fall asleep, so I had a pita stuffed with a marinated egg, some ham, and arugula, as well as a bit of pumpkin seeds and cashew nuts as a dessert. Don't want to eat fruit now because then I'll stay up the whole night running between the toilet and the bed. I feel very tempted to finish the ham I bought. Am I low on protein or simply wanting to eat, hard to say. The ham is low fat/trimmed, so if I end up finishing the last few slices, no harm done. I'll give it a minute to give satiety a chance to set in.
 
Oh noooo I thought I had enough potatoes to make mash but I don't!! So breakfast is going to be polenta, 200g of peas, the rest of the ham (I ate 2/3 of the 300g package yesterday) and a fried egg. After that I'll take Nera for a walk on the fields and then hit the gym! I'll buy more potatoes on my way home :)

EDIT: ran into idiot neighbor and their aggressive dog again. Had to retreat back into my apartment to let the howling monster and Mrs Idiot pass us like demons of wrath. I was so pissed that I yelled at her "have you thought about a professional trainer? That has to be stressful for the dog, too!". At least Mrs Idiot doesn't carry the poor dog by his harness like Mr Idiot, most likely because she's not strong enough. I am constantly on the brink of calling a wellness check by animal protection...

EDIT 2: I did call my municipal animal protection and the lady there told me that they can't act based on what I have seen, but that I can send them an email with the neighbor's address so that if other people start contacting them, they have proof that several people are worried about the dog. I'll do that later today!
 
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I was left feeling hungry for carbs and it´s cold as balls outside so in order to have enough energy to walk Nera and then walk to the gym, work out, and walk back, I decided to have a banana for dessert with a lovely big cup of maté tea. I LOVE that I'm once again in a place where I can listen to my body and trust my hunger and satiety cues!

Decided to try taking 36mg of long effect ADHD meds with my breakfast and skip short effect ones today altogether. (The dosage should be adjusted to need, for me it can be anything from 18-54 mg of the long effect pills and/or 10-20 mg of short effect ones. I usually go as low as I can because that's how the side effects remain the mildest!)

I'm thinking that as I'm already in the habit of writing down my workouts in the calendar, I might start to monitor my meds there as well to find the optimal balance of med days and off-med days and dosages. Besides, having a physical calendar with my workouts and meals and meds journaled would likely be something the trans clinic docs would love, because that shows I am able to commit to a project and be consistent, which is very important for transitioning of course.
 
Floater said:
I LOVE that I'm once again in a place where I can listen to my body and trust my hunger and satiety cues!
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Awesome. And sad that so many of us lose that ability.
Floater said:
I'm thinking that as I'm already in the habit of writing down my workouts in the calendar, I might start to monitor my meds there as well to find the optimal balance of med days and off-med days and dosages.
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Sounds excellent. Having an overview and detection patterns is always helpful.
 
My gym workout was PERFECT. The gym was almost empty so I used the coed side and machines I haven't used in a while. It was nice to work out during daylight! I had my usual locker room porridge and realized that the lab nearby is open, so I'm writing this in the waiting room, about to give that bio bank sample I have intended to sort out for a while now :)
 
Ooooffff the lab trip turned out to be cumbersome. There were two late stage alcoholics in the waiting room and usually I don't mind, because they are people too, but these ones had really worrysome chemistry between them. Let's call them alpha alc and beta alc. Their discussion started pretty normally, about pills they need and won't get and reminiscing about hospital trips, but eventually the beta alc mentioned his ex who had been part of a group that set a man on fire for owing them 20 euros, and gone to jail for that. The alpha alc was very upset about the cruelty of such an act and said that the perpetrators should be burnt to death as well, continuing to mention that he is a killer as well but at least he used an axe instead of burning someone. Then proceeded to sneeze without covering his face holes so that the spit and whatever hit the floor audibly, while the beta alc dropped his plastic bag and several hand sanitizer bottles rolled out.

When it was finally my turn, the nurse had trouble finding a vein and it was really anxiety inducing. But yay, now my sample is headed to the bio bank! I bought potatoes and brussel sprouts on my way home. Had a banana and a soy protein shake while cooking, and am now eating mashed potatoes and roasted turnips (which is basically my lunch because locker room porridge is not a proper meal, it's a snack). I'll have a cup of coffee and take Nera for a walk soon, then rest a bit and eat the rest of my black bean stew and roasted pumpkin, maybe with rice?
 
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Yikes, that sounds like a worrying wait! Sure, people are people but I generally prefer non-murderers. I hope they were just messing with you. Yay for an awesome workout and getting that sample sent off though!
 
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