Floater's diary

Yeah, I'm definitely not OK. GI issues continue, can't really focus on anything. I've been drifting in and out of sleep, ordered Indian takeout because I wasn't in the shape to cook, but I think I'll have to throw it out. It just made my stomach more upset.

What I ate between 8pm last night and 7pm today:
- 200g bread cheese
- a tortilla with marg, dry noodles
- one plain tortilla and one filled with remaining soy mince and hummus
- a small bowl of sheep biryani, 1/4 of a naan bread
- a tub of fresh guac

I've been trying to stay hydrated. Tomorrow's a big day, occupational therapist evaluations continue. Might be that I'm reacting to the stress of it.
 
Could you freeze the Indian food maybe so you don´t have to waste it?
 
LaMaria said:
Could you freeze the Indian food maybe so you don´t have to waste it?
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I'm honestly not sure, I think the meat they used was probably frozen. I'll taste it again tomorrow to make sure that it's not just my bad appetite and nausea playing with my senses.
 
Indian food is probably the last thing I would eat if my stomach is feeling upset. I steer clear of really spicy food if my stomach feels a bit dodgy. Hope you feel better tomorrow.
 
Cate said:
Indian food is probably the last thing I would eat if my stomach is feeling upset. I steer clear of really spicy food if my stomach feels a bit dodgy. Hope you feel better tomorrow.
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I know, right? It was definitely one of those "I really didn't think this through" moments! In my defense, the food was very cheap. Then again, it was one of those restaurants that deliver Indian food _and_ pizza _and_ kebab for really cheap and that usually tells a story of it's own.
 
It's my birthday today, so after the occupational therapy I got myself a mini-bottle of rosé prosecco to enjoy before going to bed tonight, as well as some nice cheddar and chorizo for cooking (chorizo works great with cauliflower and chickpeas!). My ex was kind enough to ask if he can come visit me and treat us both to a takeout dinner to celebrate, so I could toss out the abhorrent biryani without feeling too bad about the waste lol. I think today's going to be a nice day.

In case that something comes up (I have had a lot of friends ask me if I want to take a birthday walk today or later this week :D - my dog certainly appreciates the pandemic) and I don't post my food diary on time, I had two rye bread, PB and jam sandwiches last night, and for breakfast I had instant oatmeal with PB and jam. I'm just going to enjoy whatever we end up having with my ex, and have a good time.
 
:party:Happy birthday! I hope you're feeling much better and will be able to enjoy the start of your next trip around the sun with whoever you want to see.
 
LaMaria said:
:party:Happy birthday! I hope you're feeling much better and will be able to enjoy the start of your next trip around the sun with whoever you want to see.
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Thank you! I'm feeling much better, thanks- I think I was probably stressing out about the occupational therapist. I tend to react somatically to stress. She's very nice, and of course as a professional is "on my side" and trying to find ways to help me fit into the society despite my disabilities and mental health challenges, but it's always a bit unnerving to go somewhere to be evaluated and scrutinized and so on.

And when it comes to seeing people (minding the restrictions etc), thank you. I'm quite happy on my own, but growing older is one of those things where it just feels good to meet other people who have known me throughout the years. My oldest friend will come over next weekend for a movie night, and luckily walking outside is not restricted currently, so I'm glad about that being a possibility with people who might just want to pop by. :)
 
I generally prefer seeing people one on one rather than in groups anway so the pandemic isn't all bad for me :)
Glad to hear the occupational therapist visit went pleasantly enough.
 
LaMaria said:
I generally prefer seeing people one on one rather than in groups
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Me too! I meant it as in, I'll see several people individually over the past weeks. Pandemic safer, and nicer in many ways. I'm not a big party person anyway, max 4-5 people at a time are interesting to converse with but more than that just splits into smaller groups. :) My ex just left, we had Chinese. I got a good batch of leftovers so I can pretty much just relax for today. :)
 
Belated(?) happy birthday. I may have still got in on time as it’s 7.48am on Tue here in Oz, but still your Mon. I’m glad you had a nice day :)
 
Tired, but happy. Food-wise things have been OK, I've been slowly eating the leftovers of my birthday Chinese, snacking on chorizo and cheddar... No bingeing, just treating myself a bit with stuff I would not normally eat. My autism assistant came over today, and we talked about how I felt about drinking the mini bubbly last night, and she was really supportive and told me she has no reason to feel worried about me. It felt nice.

As I haven't really had mealtimes today, let's just leave it at that; I'll get back to regular mealtimes tomorrow. Also - drinking alcohol was fun, but I'm not sure I liked the after effects like being a bit more tired after sleeping worse, so this is also a good motivator to find joy in good, healthy, quality food. :)
 
Floater said:
My autism assistant came over today, and we talked about how I felt about drinking the mini bubbly last night, and she was really supportive and told me she has no reason to feel worried about me. It felt nice.
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Great that you´re able to talk about things before they start to bother you. Sounds like you´re on a roll!
 
Floater said:
.....so this is also a good motivator to find joy in good, healthy, quality food. :)
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& that's a good thing.
Floater said:
My autism assistant came over today, and we talked about how I felt about drinking the mini bubbly last night, and she was really supportive and told me she has no reason to feel worried about me. It felt nice.
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Glad you have good support Floater. It's good to have someone to run things through with :)
 
Cate said:
Glad you have good support Floater. It's good to have someone to run things through with :)
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I'm endlessly thankful to the autism assistants, they've been working with me for almost a year now and my life has changed a lot. They don't just help me get practicalities sorted out, but also when I need help with bureaucracy and doctor's visits and such. Before working with them, I was used to doing everything by my own and it was exhausting; I also relied a lot on my ex partner, whom I loved very much, but he had health issues of his own and towards the end of our relationship it wasn't really a healthy relationship by any means. Having people around me now who are paid professionals is so much safer and more fair, because it's their job to help and I don't need to worry about being in debt to them for their efforts. They are not only a source of practical support, but also emotional and social support. And they "get" autism and ADHD, unlike most people working in psychiatry, who have maybe heard of it but think that the average autist is like "Rainman".

I had to cancel today's visit, sadly. I woke up to such horrible stomach cramps and didn't want to risk getting the worker sick in case it was a bug or covid. I took the dog out, went back to sleep, and am feeling a bit better now. My stomach just probably doesn't agree with what I've eaten. I skipped breakfast to give it time to settle and just had a bit of dried out tortilla, cheese and marg. Couldn't finish it - at least the dog is happy.
 
Floater said:
Having people around me now who are paid professionals is so much safer and more fair, because it's their job to help and I don't need to worry about being in debt to them for their efforts.
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That's basically why I went to therapy: I always felt bad about burdening my friends and family with my troubles so I pushed them down instead.
I hope your stomach troubles will disappear and stay gone this time.
 
LaMaria said:
That's basically why I went to therapy: I always felt bad about burdening my friends and family with my troubles so I pushed them down instead.
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For me, I felt guilty all the time, and over time started to become a total doormat to the point where I wasn't safe or healthy or happy anymore. I'm still processing the breakup and events that lead to it. The assistants keep telling me that I'm way too hard on myself. I tend to blame myself for things that aren't really up to me; rationally I know that my ex chose certain behaviors and they are his responsibility. Oh well, time heals most wounds.

And yeah let's hope that the stomach settles. At least I'm not in pain anymore and I could even drink coffee.
 
Floater said:
Oh well, time heals most wounds.
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As long as they close up and don't get infected you're generally good. Scar tissue can be annoying or unsightly and sometimes restricts flexibility (I know this is a metaphor but it works!) but with practice we can usually regain proper function.
 
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